The two men are starring each other down a couple feet away from each other gripping their weapons tightly in their hands when link makes the first move jumping high into the air swinging his sword down towards ganondorf but he blocks with his steel gauntlet shoving both link and his sword to the floor with such brute strength.
"Foolish kid, you can never defeat me for I am much too strong for you! "He shouted while turning his back to link. "Behold my true power! "
Ganon reaches in his pocket taking out a pair of steel chopsticks placing them between his butt cheeks a grunting his teeth together while bending them into the shape of a small sculpture of himself strangling link, the detail was amazing leaving link speechless, the blonde was really impressed that his enemy could sculpt steel chopsticks into fine art with his a$$, he started to clap a little lightly for the cheeky bastard. Ganon threw the sculpture high into the air as link followed it with his eyes expecting something to happen. Now! this is the perfect chance for ,me to strike so ganon thought but right as his fist was about to hit links crotch a witch popped out of the ground and scared them both half to death . they fell backwards as she looked slightly confused as to why they were so shocked when the sculpture fell on top of her head making her really aggravated ..so aggravated that she turned the statue into a magic super glue sticking it on links back only to fling him with magic towards ganon who screamed like a bitch already running away but tripped over a bug right as link slammed into his back . The witch laughed obnoxiously and disappeared leaving the two idiots uncontiouse on the floor stuck together back to back with little swirls in their eyes.
Link woke up and tried to get up but couldn't laying his head back down against the soft main beneath him , he turned his head finding a sleeping ganon under him and tried to struggle away but couldn't . link slowly began to process in his mind what had happened as little breezes of air made their way by when his face turned pale and pupils really small…he tried to get out of his shirt but the magic glue seemed to have gone through his shirt , ganon's cape and down to their skin …they were really stuck together worse than a nerdy 20 year olds dirty magazines … he had to find a way out of this but more importantly how to handle ganon when he woke up but it was too late ….ganon sat upward looking around and yawning rubbing his eyes .
"Oh …must have fallen asleep ... "he said without realizing the elf boy on his back. Link covered his mouth a little sweaty...maybe if I don't say anything he won't notice he thought. A bug crawled out of the green hat biting links nose making him flinch. Ganon turned his head finding themselves eye to eye with slight pause then getting up with a calm expression facing his back towards a large rock wall nearby. He brushed off the front of his pants only to get a really evil look on his face running backwards in to the wall as they both yelled a loud yell before link was slammed into the wall repeatedly.
"GET OFF MAH ASS KID! "
"I WOULD IF I COULD YOU OVERSIZED DICK SNIP! "
"I OUGHTA WASH YOUR MOUTH OUT WITH SOAP! "Ganon suddenly stopped yelling for a moment confused processing the situation and sitting down on the grass stroking his beard.
"Well were in quite the pickle here aren't we boy? "
"You just now noticed?! "
Link was angry but at the same time he just wanted to get unstuck from his enemy. Ganon reached into his breast pocket again taking out a knife.
"Ganon we can fight later so put that back and let's try to find a way to fix this problem. "
" I know that but maybe if we cut down the middle from where were both stuck we should both be able to be free again , it's the perfect plan ! "
"We would both bleed to death or die from infection you ugly ginger chuck Norris reject! "
Suddenly the witch appeared again and started laughing. " there is another way to get unstuck but it will require a long painful journey to get something back for me that was stolen by skull kid …it's up to you both to decide how badly you want to separate . "
She gives them a map vanishing once more.
"I don't like it but let's go ganon, it's the only way."
" Fuck that I have a better idea , let's just go to the outside entrance of the great fairy fountain and cut down the middle of were glued and have her heal us before we die from bleeding too much or of infection . "
"How about no! "
Look link , both the cutting and the long painful journey to get back some dumb hoes shit who stuck us together in the first place is equally as painful if you think about it and the cutting option is faster , I don't know about you but I don't want to spend a crap load of hours looking for something and fighting enemies when I could be at home watching porn and trying to take over hyrule …I'm sure you have a lot of shit to do to like chase chickens or something ."
Link pauses for a moment as a gentle breeze goes by, he nods and ganon gets up and they both head towards the closest entrance to the great fairy fountain. They manage to cut themselves off of each other and limp to the fairy fountain a bloody mess just in time as link played his ocarina with the great fairy healing their wounds. After that they left the fountain side by side getting towards the end of the tunnel were the witch stands before them shocked.
Why... Would you choose to unstick yourselves this way? She said with her eyes wide open...
Because you can't tell a rebel what to do! Ganon says all composed pointing his finger at her. She stands their dumbfounded as link slices her in half with his blade and collects the Poe in a jar looking back at ganon.
"Shall we continue are fight from where we left off?"
Wouldn't have it any other way stupid kid!
They both charge at each other.
End.