Sooo.. yeah.. this is my random snippet fic….

Ed was randomly walking about in Lior when Rose came up to him, holding her baby.

"Ed, I have to tell you something." Rose said.

"Hmm? What is it, rose?" Ed asked.

"I… want child support."

"Ehhhhhhhhhh!" screamed Ed as he jumped backwards.

"I got a test, Edward. The baby is yours."

"B-but… I- we didn't.."

"I don't care! It's yours! Now, give me money!" At this point, Al jumped in.

"Brother, how could you? You can't take care of a kid!"

"But we didn't!" and suddenly, having run there from Central, Mustang began to join the berating.

"But… I-I thought what we had was special!" he sobbed, "Oh, Ed-kuuuuuuun!" He ran away, crying his eyes out.

"Am I the only one here who even knows how kids are made!" At this, the remaining figures and, indeed, all of Lior began to blink confusedly.

The moral of the story is that schools need better sex education classes.

Ed and Al arrived in a small town and found a crowd of people chattering worriedly.

"What should we do?"

"Poor thing…"

"We need to get help!" Ed pushed his way through to the front. Al followed, apologizing as he went.

"Excuse us. Pardon us. I'm sure he didn't mean to crush your foot!" Once out of the crowd, they saw a little girl struggling to get out from under a tree. Ed quickly transmuted the tree into a rainbow. Yes, didn't you know that trees are made of rainbows? Stick with me, my duckies and you'll learn all kinds of things! Nevertheless, the girl was saved.

"Thanks mister! You're my hero!" The girl began to close in for a hug. Once again, Colonel Mustang flew in out of nowhere.

"Back off, sister! That belongs to me!" he yelled, shortly before incinerating her.

"My baby!" screamed an insignificant woman in the background. However, everyone else in the cowed realized she had messed with what was rightfully another's, and accordingly pulled pitchforks and torches from nowhere to run her out of town.

"You know what?" said the fullmetal, "You're a bastard."

"Maybe so…" here, the colonel planted a kiss on Ed's forehead, "But I'm your bastard." And flashed him a smile.

"Damn that angel face!" And as Roy picked up and carried Ed of into the sunset, Al called out after them.

"Hey! No fair! The token creepy slash idea for this show is supposed to be incest, not pedophilia!"

Yet again, Ed and Al were wandering in the desert, when they heard a strange rattling noise.

"Wait a sec, Al," Ed said, "what's that noise?"

"I don't know.. but it sounds like it's coming from.. Aagh! Brother! Something's running around in me! Getitoutgetitoutgetitoutgetitoutgetitoutgetitoutgetitout!"

"Al! Hold still!" Ed slipped Al's head off and pulled out… a toaster. However, it was no ordinary toaster. It had the serpent cross engraved into it. Also, it had a picture of Ed taped to it. Oh, and it also moved.

"Daddy!" yelled the toaster, as it jumped into Ed's arms.

"Al… what did you do?" Ed asked, a mysterious fog rising off of him like an angry woman.

"Ummm.. I…."

I shall leave it to those of us who have filthy minds to determine what Al did…

I apologize for this.. I think someone slipped me drugs…