Sunset
By: Stupiak Kitty
A/N: Since I am in love with tragic and unhappy ending stories, I shall present to you another work of mine! Inspired from the song, 'Sunset', [Bokura ga ita] I have no idea what the lyrics really means, though. Hahaha. I'll search for the translation if I had time. (and fast internet)
The main pairing is Ren x Piri. Since JeannexRen was already canon, and I was a fan of the former pairing, it breaks my heart to think that they are not meant…for each other. :(
So I present to you…
This.
Warning: For JeannexRen fans, please do not hate me. I'm begging you! I'm not against the pairings, I promise! Sort of AU. XD Try to listen to the said song if you want more dramatic effect.
This, my friends, is angst. And drama. And angst. And drama.
Disclaimer: I do not own Shaman King.
In Pirika's third person POV.
P.S: Let's keep SHAMAN KING FANDOM ALIVE! :D
Sunset.
There are several things running inside her mind whenever she sees it, or whenever someone mentions it.
The stunning red and orange hue of the sun as it sets, the soft glow that touches her skin. The dimming radiance that surrounds the seashore before it could finally set.
The deep scarlet sky looking upon her - the same sky who witnessed everything.
It's a reminder of variety of things.
Happiness. She had never felt it before. Sure, most of the people who knew her can't even tell if she's sad, happy, or just pretending. The smile on her face was almost plastered on her face, it never left.
Whenever she's happy, she smiled. Whenever she's motivated or excited, she smiled. Whenever she feels down, she smiled more.
Even if she was in pain, she could only smile. She was that type of person who could pretend that everything's fine and offers a smile, even if in truth that the inside of her is crying.
Comfort. Seeing the sun as it sets in front of her is the most comforting place that she ever had. The rays of the sun reaching her face, it soothes her.
If she stretched her arms out, it looks like she could almost touch the setting sun. It was so little with her hands, so warm and gentle.
If she had the power to stop the sun from setting, she would have.
If she had the power to turn back time and stop it where she wanted to, she would have.
Pain. The pain in her chest, it hurt so much that she had to clench onto it just to stop it from breaking. The time when she felt like her body doesn't want her to breathe air, it was suffocating.
The moment where she had felt million of tiny knives were piercing her heart and remained there, it was unbearable.
As soon as she had seen the unexpected, she felt like someone just killed her, but the pain doesn't want to leave. She felt, at that point, that the agony was the only thing that loved her, it never left.
Even until now.
Aching. It was there. The feel of his warm skin embracing her - trapping her with his strong arms as they run along the seashore. The feel of his warmth next to her as they laugh, smile, cry. The feel of his lips beneath hers, his touch, his caress, him…
The itch to hold him.
The desire of seeing him, to see them once again, it was there.
She wanted to have that again. She wanted it so bad that her heart ached, and her eyes stung.
Anger. She had never thought that the first emotion that he'd stirred within her will be the same emotion that she would feel as he left. It was not love at first sight, not even desire. It was scream, and annoyance. Glaring and teasing.
Their relationship, at that time, was the most impossible thing to even happen. Alien conquering the world appears to be more realistic than loving a man who has the temper of a lion, and the eyes of a tiger.
But then, strange things can happen.
And it was, at that time, the strangest yet happiest thing that had ever happened to her.
Sadness. The moment where she knew that it was just a fraud, it saddened her. The memories that the two of them both shared, either in happiness, or in suffering, she had kept it inside her.
She wanted to carry it as she continued to live her life.
The person who caused all of it. Remembering him made her smile, even though her cheeks were now stained with her tears. It was him who had let her feel all those.
Tao Ren.
Recalling his name made her smile widen, and fresh tears came rushing down. She wiped it away while looking at the setting sun.
How did they even meet?
She remembered it clearly like the back of her hands. It was just a coincidental meeting. She never even expected that she would cherish that memory.
It happened in the late November eve. Since it was a month before Christmas, different kinds of Xmas ornaments could be seen scattered around the mall. Sweet carols can be heard somewhere inside. People chatting happily as they stroll with their families, friends, or even dates, since they were holding each other hands.
She looked at her left and saw Jun moving her head around as though she was finding for someone. That thought alone made her shiver. She knew that the cold air got nothing to do with it.
She was with Jun, her best friend's friend. She's escorting Jun with her favorite escapade: Blind date. It was not exactly blind date. According to Jun, she'd already seen the guys who would be joining the two of them later on. She shivered again.
This will be her first time attending that sort of engagement, but she was eager to experience it nonetheless. The idea that someone they did not exactly know will be joining them and will eventually spend their time alone is making her head spin.
Negative thoughts like how would they react if the guys they were supposed to meet were hideous looking? Or worse, smell worse than spoiled milk? Or an actual rapist?
She trusts Anna, however, so she must also put her trust into Jun. After all, Jun wouldn't be able to befriend Anna if she's not a proper person in the first place.
"Ara! There they are!" Exclaimed Jun, dragging her toward the flower stand in the process.
Her heart palpitated. She kept her head down so she had no idea who was standing in front of them at the moment.
It was then when she heard someone screaming, she thought that it was familiar and looked up. But she too, screamed.
"ONII-CHAAAAANN!"
"P-pirika?!" Horo-Horo managed to say. "W-what are you doing here?"
"What are you doing here?" She answered back, catching the glance of a guy with golden eyes holding a bouquet of flowers, before looking back at her brother.
At least, she knew that her worries are too far from the reality. She could even smell the guy's masculinity from where she was standing. She ignored her mind and spoke to Horo-Horo. "I thought you had an important appointment to go?"
"Ee…" He stammered. "M-my friend here invited me, and I—"
"I never invited you to anything," The guy rolled his eyes. Pirika's eyes widen with the range of his voice. "You just invited yourself the moment you heard that I was about to go to a blind date."
Horo-Horo just smacked the back of his friend. "H-hehehehe. Don't kid around, Ren! You invited me!"
"Whatever you say," Ren rolled his eyes and turned to Jun. "So what's the meaning of this, Nee-san? I thought you are going to be out of the picture?"
"NEE-SAN?!" Both Pirika and Horo exclaimed.
Jun laughed awkwardly then pulled Ren away from them.
Ren crossed his arms. "Care to explain?"
"Unfortunately, we had change of plans," Jun explained while wincing. "Anna doesn't want to go. Apparently, Tamao will not come if Anna didn't. So I invited her."
"So you are telling me that she's not the person I was about to date?"
"Well, yeah," She said. "But I'm pretty sure that you'll like her. It seems like she's your type."
"You're kidding right?" Ren scoffed, stealing a glance at the two siblings in that instance before looking back at his sister. The two were now arguing…rather loudly. "You think I might like that girl? And the fact that she's Horo-Horo's sister makes me want to strangle someone. Didn't you hear? She's as loud as her brother!"
Jun smack the back of her brother's head. "Please don't make any rude comments about Pirika-chan first. You didn't even know her that much."
"Yes, you're right — I have no idea who she is. But I can hear her voice up to here." He muttered.
"Why don't you just try it, Ren?" She insisted. "You might like her later on."
"I highly doubt that."
"Just get it on! Or I'll be strangling you instead."
Ren sighed. "Fine. Feel lucky you're my sister."
Jun excused Pirika and pulled her near Ren. Pirika blushed the moment she saw him looking at her.
"Now that we've met everyone, it's time to introduce ourselves. Since the two of you are…actually siblings," Jun gestured both Horo and Pirika. "We'll be the one introducing ourselves. Why don't you go first, Ren?"
Since Ren knew that his sister has no intention of letting this go, so he complied. With plain and bored voice, he spoke. "Tao Ren. Tao Jun's brother. 17."
"Hehhh? You're two years older than me!" Pirika exclaimed.
"So what?" Ren countered. "It's not like we'll be together after this."
"Ren…" Jun called in warning.
Pirika on the other hand was shocked with this guy's words. And to think that she'd almost considered him as her next crush. "What are you trying to say?"
"Isn't it obvious?" Ren rolled his eyes. "Or are you stupid as your brother to even understand what I'd just said?"
"Ren!" Jun chided.
"What?!" Horo-Horo yelled, and was about to attack Ren when Pirika stopped him. She just glared at him. She's stupid, indeed. Why did she think that this guy will be her perfect date in the first place? Turns out, it was the other way around! He's claiming that he was Jun's sister, but his attitude doesn't even match his sister's sweet and sociable character.
"Take back what you just said," she said, her voice as calm as she could.
"What?" Ren moved his weight into his other foot. He looked like he was bored to death.
"I said take it back!" She yelled, causing his brother to look at her. Horo-Horo knew the reason of her outburst so he stayed silent. "You have no right to call us stupid! Take it back!"
"W-why the sudden outburst?" Ren said, surprised to see that he'd angered the girl named Pirika. "Why are you making this a big deal?"
"I said take it back!"
"Oi, Pirika—"
"Fine!" Ren exclaimed. "I'm taking it back. Happy now?"
Pirika tried her best not to cry. She didn't want to cry especially in front of this bastard. "Do I look like I'm happy to you?"
"Very much so," He mocked. "Look, I can see you laughing."
She glared more, before looking at Jun who kept silent and chose to watch their exchange of words. "Does your brother acts like this all the time, Jun-chan?"
"N-not really, he's actually kind." Jun replied.
"Kind?!" Pirika scoffed. "Why I didn't notice that, my kind sir! With that kind of attitude, every girl will hate you! I mean, look at you, going on a blind date then acting like a complete jerk. It's a surprise if someone just claimed that she likes you. I guess you never even had a girlfriend in a first place."
"Touché," Horo-Horo smirked.
Ren clenched his fist; the flowers almost shook with the intensity. "Hey, you woman! Who do you think you are? You don't even know my life to say that!"
"My point exactly!" She exclaimed. "Don't use the word 'stupid' to a person you barely know. Especially with a girl."
"Oh? You're a girl?" Ren said with a mocked surprise. "I didn't know that. Thank you for pointing that out."
"What did you say?!" She yelled. She glared at Ren who looked at her smugly. She wanted to strangle this guy in front of her until he begs her to stop. How dare that smug bastard?! Was he trying to imply that she doesn't look like a girl?! "Are you seriously saying that?!"
"Why? Didn't you hear? Do you want me to repeat it?"
"What?! What kind of a guy are you?!"
"Who knows? What kind of a girl are you?" He countered. She scowled at him and followed his gaze only to realize what he was actually trying to say. Her eyes widened both in surprised and disgust and crossed her arms above her chest. She looked around to call her brother and Jun's help, but frowned when she noticed that they were now gone.
She looked back at Ren and shouted, "Hentai!"
Ren laughed — the kind of laugh that you wanted to pull his hair out one by one. "It'll surprise me if someone claims that he's in love with you. I'm sure you never had experience having a relationship. One of the reasons was that you easily agreed in a blind date, just like your brother."
"WHAAAAAAT?!"
"Well, nice meeting you," He went on. "I had fun. At least."
Wait. Now, he's leaving her alone? What a complete jerk! She wanted to remove her shoes and throw it at his head, but thought otherwise. Her sandals are too precious to throw just like that, especially with that kind of guy.
However, she looked at him when he turned around. Her heart palpitated again. Did he change his mind already? But she forgot that when he spoke.
"Here," He thrust the bouquet into her arms. "I have nothing to do with it. I know this will be your first time receiving something as precious as that. Such a waste if I would just throw it away, so it's yours. At least you know the feeling of receiving flowers by now."
She glared at Ren's back as he departed again. She threw the bouquet away. "I don't need your pity, you…you jerk with a weird hairstyle!"
Ren just waved his hands. "So long, loudmouthed girl! I'm certainly hoping that this will be our last meeting."
"The same as you, weird lunatic!"
She laughed as the memory kept playing inside her head, especially the time where she took the flowers and carried it home. She ignored her brother's teasing look when he saw the same flowers Ren was holding.
Contrary to their last words with each other, they meet again.
Apparently, Ren was a new addition to her brother's current band so she had no choice but to see him every so often whenever his brother would come home and practice along with his band - the reason why he was not familiar when she met him the first time.
Her brother's little income by playing with his band was the reason why they were still alive, along with her taking part-time job once in a while. She finds her brother lucky for knowing his band-mates, since they were the reason why they could eat anything that the both of them couldn't afford.
They are orphans. Both of their parents died when they were still in Hokkaido. She was nine, while her brother was already twelve when the incident occurred. She could still recall it clearly, even though she was still young at that time.
It was in the verge of sunset, and was about to go home from school when she noticed that the village people are panicking. Curious, she decided to see why they were freaking out.
The first thing she noticed was her brother, his head down and clenching his fist. The second she noticed and surprised that she didn't notice it first was the messy area. It was full of snow and some of the usual houses were missing. All that she could see was debris and the remains. Cries of misery can also be heard, and it was when she realized that the spot where her brother was currently standing was there house once.
The whole village was consumed with an avalanche. Both of their parents and other villagers were buried. Her brother was as lucky as her, since Horo-Horo had just came from school seconds before her.
Some of their remaining relatives in Tokyo had been aware of the accident after watching it on the late-time news, and asked them to move and live along together with them. Both of them agreed, since they were young at that time.
They'd taken the custody of taking care of them.
It was fine, at first.
Thinking of her past made her want to cry again. She was nearly ten years old when the incident happened. For four years, she was molested. She was scared to even tell it to her brother, so she kept quiet. It was when Horo-Horo witnessed it in actual scene that made her nightmare end. They moved out, telling that he was on the edge of becoming adult and he would protect her until the end of time.
So they end up in Funbari. Horo-Horo rented an apartment at first, though they really had a hard time paying for the rent, so they decided to go and camp out in the woods. They stayed there, not knowing that the area was a part of the Asakura Family.
That was when his brother meets Yoh, the heir of the said Family. Yoh is a gentle and naïve boy, never thinks of any negative thoughts about someone. He offered his house after hearing their story, which was apparently an inn, much to the disappointment of Yoh's fiancée.
They soon discovered that Yoh wanted to form a band, but he has no idea where to find his co-members. Horo-Horo revealed that he was fond of forming a band as well. They formed a band with Yoh's brother, Hao. As far as she knows back then, Hao lives independently.
They moved out after their band was working out well, rented an apartment near the En Inn, and tried to live out on their own.
Their lifestyle is working out well, since they were occasionally invited by Yoh and Anna.
They had never attended school unlike her brother's friends. But the set-up was okay for her. She hoped, at that time, was for her to find suitable work the moment she turn eighteen.
But that hope didn't happen.
It was unexpected, in fact.
It has been exactly two years since that day when she first Ren. And within those years full of teasing, and glaring, and annoying each other, she fell in love.
She has no reason why. She just fell.
Perhaps the reason was because he was always there.
Whenever she wanted to jump for joy, he's there. When she wanted to just talk and babble nonsense, he just rolls his eyes but remained. Once when she wanted to tease someone, he's game.
When she's in pain, he was always there.
That moment when the man who she thought she'd fallen in love with had left her heart broken in two, he was there.
"Don't cry over that bastard of a man, Pirika,"
"You deserve someone better. Someone who would care for you, love you and accept you for who you are. You are worthy of someone better than that piece of shit."
He once said.
Someone who's not you, I know. She thought.
Sunset.
She had once thought in her nine year old mind that the sunset was the reason of their parent's death.
Who would've thought that the same sunset that she'd resented back then, was the same thing that she'd love right now.
She loved it now. As much as she loved him back then.
They did it, with the sunset, the sky, and the beach as the witness.
The moment the both of them made love, she knew…
He loved her as well.
Sadness.
Happiness, just like our world, would eventually turn into sadness.
And that happened the day after they did it.
He never looked at her again in the eyes. He ignored her even. He acted like the thing that happened between them was nothing like a piece of garbage.
He treated her like she was treated by the man who she thought was the one.
She was mad. She could still remember how she confronted Ren and slapped him the moment he told her that it was nothing special. The coldness in his eyes, contradicting the time where his eyes were filled with deep longing when he was in her, it was forever trapped inside her mind.
"It was nothing special."
His words were like old damaged disk, repeating inside her head, echoing until all that she could hear was his voice.
Her heart that has been split into two was scattered into tiny pieces the moment she heard that Ren was already engaged. She couldn't breathe, couldn't think straight, and couldn't believe. She felt cold needles piercing her whole body. All that she could think of was to stop it.
She'd even thought of killing herself, only to be stopped by her brother who, by that time, was clueless about the deed between her and Ren.
She had no idea what her brother did with Ren, but she once overheard Yoh and Hao chatting that Ren has been badly beaten and they'd never seen Horo-Horo that mad before.
The pain grew bigger the moment she saw Ren together with Jeanne, his hands over her hands. And her scattered heart was ripped again.
Jeanne was her best friend. Or so she thought. She had met her once when she was attending the band's gig. Jeanne was always there, she noticed. Always observing, always present, but never talked. She was the one who walked up and befriend her. She was the one who made the decision to communicate with her.
Only to put more salt into her wounded heart.
She had never thought that Ren would love Jeanne so much that their relationship had grown into much deeper. They were engaged, and soon to marry.
But as the saying goes, the worse has yet to come.
Thinking of it made her cry at last. She sobbed until her throat aches. She screamed until her voice broke. She let her tears fall until there was nothing left, only the soreness of her eyes.
She let it all out until the memory was left behind.
Memories with him.
Though it's true that the memories she's holding right now is the only key to unlock the cause of her sadness, even those that she had wanted to forget, she wanted to treasure it.
Someday…someday, she knew, time will come that she would be ready to face it and be strong enough that those memories will hurt her no longer. Pain and sadness would soon turn into contentment. And be pleased that once in her life, she's capable of experiencing it and be glad that she had it.
She will be waiting for that moment to come.
She looked at the setting sun, it was now preparing to leave, as though it was trying to say that it was time to say goodbye.
She will soon…
After their last meeting that was supposed to be now.
Pirika looked at her watch - five minutes after six. Supposedly, they should've met an hour ago. She made an annoyed and amused click on her tongue. He's still the same. She used that time to freshen up.
Lucky she managed to bring hand mirror with her.
She was on her last tap of her blusher when she felt a familiar aura behind her. She froze, deciding whether to look or not, but chose to go with it. After all, this was the main reason why she was here – to meet Ren.
She chanced a glance behind and her breathing caught.
Is that really him?!
She tried hard not to widen her eyes. She couldn't believe what she's seeing at the moment. Here, standing in front of her is Ren.
He was already tall unlike when their height used to overpower each other. He grew his hair longer than hers, and has a similar tongari with her sister.
She glared at him playfully when he smirked. She knew that he knew she was busy assessing the changes in him.
"So, what's your evaluation?" He finally spoke.
Even his voice had changed. She smiled wryly with that. Everything has bound to change. Aside from the feelings she still has for him. Though, she was willing to change it for the better.
For their wellbeing.
"What? Is that your greeting after how many years of not seeing each other?" She countered. "It seems that your attitude had never affected with your transformation."
He laughed. "I can say that to you, as well. You looked like a human now."
"What?!" She yelled. "Is that how you say 'You're beautiful' in England?"
"Ohh? Seems like we are on the same boat too. Your attitude hasn't changed even a bit. Still full of yourself. And talks at full volume."
"Look who's talking!"
"How are you coping these past few years?"
Pirika stilled. She didn't see that coming. She forced a smile, though she could feel her heart pounding like it was threatening her to explode. "Good. How are you and J-jeanne?"
"Unchanged," He replied.
"Good to know that," She said with a smile still plastered on her face. "At least I know that she has taken good care of you."
"Yeah…" was the only thing that he could say.
"A-are you… D-did you…" Pirika stammered. She couldn't find the courage to ask this, but she knew that this was the reason why she had needed to forget her inhibitions and gather the courage to ask Ren if he could go and meet her on their favorite spot when they were still together.
There's no reason for her to back out now that he's here in front of her.
She needed to know before she could go and live her life away from Japan.
She inhaled deeply before gathering her courage to speak. "D-did you bring him?"
He nodded after awhile. She sighed in relief, but her doubts came back when she sees no one besides Ren. "Where's he?"
Ren excused himself with that. She followed him and saw that he went to the only car parked on the highway. He emerged from it soon and she felt her heart drummed the moment she saw who he was holding at the moment.
He came back with two assistants tugging along behind him, but her eyes were focused on the only thing.
"I-is that already h-him?" She asked.
The moment Ren nodded, tears fell out of her eyes like a damaged dam. She held out her hands to hold the baby and Ren gave it to her.
She couldn't believe it. She was now holding him.
The remainder of their special night together.
"W-what's his name?" She tried to voice out.
After moments of internal debating, Ren finally spoke. "M-men."
She looked at the child who was now crying on her arms. Her heart fell with the realization. Her own child didn't acknowledge her as his own mother. The two assistants were about to claim the baby away from her and she almost panicked. She wanted to hold him before it could last.
Ren stopped them with his hands and gestured for them to stand away from them. Perhaps he did that for them to not hear anything that could threaten Ren and his current relationship with Jeanne.
Instead, Ren took the baby away from her and the child's wail lessened before it eventually stopped. She pouted with that.
She looked at the sleeping child and smiled. It was really their child. Though, it saddened her that Men looked nothing like her. His physical attributes were more like Jeanne.
She got the news that she had Men within her just a month after she had known about Ren and Jeanne's engagement. It was unusual and impossible to think, but she'd taken a great liking[1] to Jeanne when Men was still forming inside her womb - the reason why he possessed a silver-white hair and blood red eyes.
And it was of great help, since they had found out that Jeanne couldn't conceive. That was when she realized the reason behind Ren and Jeanne's sudden engagement. They were engaged to keep the bloodline going.
They were all elites. A contrary to what she was back then.
Ren was required to keep their generation flowing. So the moment he knew that she was with his child, he begged her to give the child's custody to him.
Which she rejected, at first. Thinking that she would never had the chance to hold her child again is making her crazy.
Poverty and her child's health have driven her to make a decision. Though, it was an irrational choice, she gave her child to Ren.
She didn't have the chance to know if Ren had really loved her or just a one night affair for him. Or he loved her then he fell out after making love with her and his feelings turned to Jeanne.
Perhaps Ren just had no choice but to surrender his love to her because he was chosen to betroth Jeanne.
Whatever the reason was, it doesn't matter to Pirika anymore.
She was just happy to see Ren and her child with him once more.
Pirika knew it will be the last time she will meet them again.
Men's wails made her wandering mind came into the reality. She watched Ren moving toward the two assistant as he gave the child to them.
She controlled the urge to run and claim her child back to where it really belongs.
"Shame I didn't catch the sun set," His voice made her look at his face. Ren's face speaks of various emotions she couldn't decipher. "It was my favorite scenery here."
"M-me too…" She managed to croak out. She looked at the moon reflecting on the deep sea. It was beautiful.
Though, she knows that it will not last. Just like their bond.
"Pirika."
She looked at Ren again. She tried hard not to cry with the look that he was giving her.
"Hm?" She managed to answer. She couldn't rely on her voice now.
"Are you happy?"
Ren's question made her think. Was she happy now? Thinking of their situation is not making her happy. But as she thought of her future, the day where she could finally reach her dream to become a successful interior designer, Pirika knew that she will be.
Especially when she had finally met her first child.
So she nods her head and smile. "I am."
"It's good to know."
"Are you…happy?" She asked back.
Ren stared at her for awhile. He looked like he wanted to say something, but he didn't. Instead, he smiled his usual lopsided smile and said, "I am."
Hearing it made her heart sink, but at the same time, she was satisfied that Ren is happy. She couldn't help the tears that fell from her eyes again, however.
"I'm sorry…" Ren said.
She laughed amidst the tears. "Baka! What are you saying? I'm just happy that I could finally meet…you, and M-men for the last time."
"L-last time?"
She nodded. "I got accepted as a foreign exchange student in New York. Tomorrow will be my flight."
"Good to know that," Ren said after awhile. "Good luck to you, as well."
She just nodded.
"I shall be going." Ren informed.
"Take care." Were the last words that she said before Ren turned his back and walk away.
Looking at Ren's back as he goes made her heart shattered into pieces. Her tears were threatening to fall again.
Instead, she smiled.
Everything will be alright, and that's what matters.
X
OWARI
Pain and sadness would soon turn into contentment. And be pleased that once in her life, she's capable of experiencing it and be glad that she had it.
-Sunset by Stupiak Kitty
October 28, 2013
A/N: Sorry for the JeannexRen fans! I hope you liked this as much as I enjoyed writing this, though it was ironic to say that I enjoyed it since this story made my heart cry. Review are welcome! Beta, please?