This Christmas Time
Disclaimer: I do not own Chandler, Monica, Joey, Rachel, Phoebe, Ross, or Emma, and I do not own the lines that appeared in TOW Christmas In Tulsa.
This Christmas Time is by Lonestar, and I don't own that either. (It's a pretty song though!)
"Honey, I'm sorry. I really am. You know I don't want to spend Christmas two thousand miles away from my wife. I don't want to spend even one night away from you."
"I know," Monica sighed, her voice telling Chandler that she was far from comforted by the words. "But it doesn't make any difference. I'm still going to wake up Christmas morning alone. You're supposed to be with the people you love on Christmas."
"You'll have Ross and – "
"It's not the same, Chandler," Monica interrupted before he could run down the list. "And you know it."
"I know," Chandler admitted, biting his lip in resignation. "But at least you'll be here with our family and friends. I really will be alone on Christmas morning. Do you think that's what I want? Now that I finally have a family to share these things with…I'm forced to leave you behind, making both of us miserable for the holidays." Chandler winced inwardly, hoping she wouldn't notice the plural. He was afraid she would be more upset that they wouldn't be able to kiss at midnight on New Year's Eve than she was about Christmas – and he was depressing her enough for the time being.
"This sucks," Monica said quietly, looking down at her hands.
"I know, sweetie," Chandler whispered, sliding a few inches closer to her and putting an arm around her as he kissed the top of her head. "But what else am I supposed to do? They'll fire me if I leave before the paperwork is finished."
Quit! Monica wanted to scream. But she swallowed the suggestion away, knowing it would be futile. Chandler would never agree to quit – not now. Not when he had a wife to support, and especially not when they were trying – Monica mentally crossed her fingers – for a baby. Instead she snuggled into his arms and buried her head in his chest, deciding that screaming obscenities about his bosses would be futile.
"I'll miss you," she whispered instead. "This will be the first Christmas morning we haven't been together in more than a decade."
"I know," Chandler told her, his heart aching at the thought. He didn't try to comfort her by saying that they'd be together on Christmas mornings for the rest of their lives – right now that meant nothing.
Monica lifted her head, giving him a brave attempt at a smile. "If this is what you have to do, then this is what you have to do. You understood that when I decided to stay in New York…and I understand now. You are my husband, and you know I'll always support you. Even if it means I have to spend Christmas without you."
Chandler gave her a tiny smile, and leaned forward to kiss her lips tenderly. "If I had a choice – "
"I know," Monica assured him quickly, resting her forehead against his. "But I'm only letting you go on one condition."
"What's that?" Chandler asked quietly, closing his eyes.
"You're the one that has to tell Joey that you won't be home for Christmas."
Monica glanced up from the ribbon she was arranging on Phoebe's gift, letting her eyes rest on Chandler, who was studiously wrapping Joey's – his face a picture of concentration as he struggled to make the corners perfect and the patterns match up where the paper met in the back. She smiled to herself, knowing that Chandler could care less what the wrapping looked like; he did it for her. Because he knew that was the way she would want it.
Monica pushed the wrapped gift aside and walked toward the window. Her gaze circled the room, taking in the tree they had decorated together the evening before, the lights and figurines scattered around the room, the two stockings hung on the wall near the tree. She smiled as she envisioned a third little stocking hanging next to Chandler's. They had had so much fun shopping for Emma this year…she could only imagine how much fun it would be to go Christmas shopping for their own child.
"Whatcha thinking about?" Chandler asked softly, interrupting the daydream as he slipped his arms around her and pressed a kiss against her temple.
"Christmas," she said simply, leaning against him contentedly.
"I love this time of year," Chandler told her, his voice thoughtful. "Especially now that I have you," he continued softly.
"Me too," Monica sighed, turning in his arms so she could face him. "I guess that's why it's so hard for me to let you go back to Tulsa. It feels like you're taking Christmas with you."
Chandler pulled her closer to him, resting his chin on the top of her head. "I know, baby. But…I'm here now," he said hopefully, not wanting her to be upset for the last few hours they had together.
"Yeah…" Monica said with a smile, winding her arms around his neck and pulling him toward her for a kiss. "You're here now. And you are the greatest gift I could ever get."
"Ditto," Chandler told her solemnly, holding her even closer as he lowered his head for another kiss.
Presents underneath the tree
Candles burning bright
Stockings hung with lots of care, on this silent Christmas night.
What makes this season magical is what made my dream come true
Just seeing you. To be here with you.
Oh this Christmas time is the best one ever
The greatest gift in life is you and me together
And I thank heaven for sending you here tonight…
This Christmas time.
Chandler sighed as he stuffed socks into the duffle bag he used for his "commute" home. Monica was putting on a brave face, but he knew this was killing her. After their private goodbye in the bedroom, she had retreated to the living room, citing an excuse about putting the finishing touches on an already perfect tree. She hated watching him pack…so much so that after his first couple of trips home, she had left the task up to him. And considering the fact that packing and unpacking were two of her favorite tasks, that decision spoke volumes to him about how she really felt about his second home in Oklahoma.
He violently pulled the zipper closed, sighing in frustration. He still couldn't comprehend how this had happened – this job that required him to leave her behind. And what made his stupid job so important that he was willing to leave his precious wife in New York while he went traipsing down South? It wasn't worth it – there was no question about that. But what else was he supposed to do? Quit? That wasn't an option, no matter how badly he wanted to. The job paid good money, and for some reason his superiors thought he did it well. That, of course, made him question their intelligence, which led to more resentment that such imbeciles had the power to make him leave Monica. On Christmas.
His self-pity was doing no one any good. He picked up his bag and glanced around his bedroom one last time before preparing himself for the final goodbyes. He would be cheerful if it killed him – he didn't want to leave everyone depressed because he was going to miss out on Christmas.
He took a deep breath and opened the door, striding out into the living room. "So goodbye elves! I'm off to Tulsa."
He walked past Monica, reaching out to touch her waist as he passed, urging her to follow him to the door.
"Oh, I can't believe you're not gonna be here for Christmas," she moaned, clearly not ready to give up making him feel guilty yet.
"You're really not coming back?" Ross asked incredulously. Chandler rolled his eyes. Jack and Judy had trained their children well in the art of guilt trips.
"Yeah…we have all this paperwork that needs to be filed by the end of the year," Chandler explained – again. "If I don't get it done, I'll be fired." That didn't sound like such a bad idea at the moment, but there was no way around it.
"It's just – it's so unfair!" Monica whined. You don't even like your job."
Chandler glanced at her, wondering if she realized how hard she was making this for him. He wondered if she was doing this for Joey's benefit. He had taken the news badly, prompting Monica to inform him harshly that if she could deal with it, Joey could too.
"So…who does?" he asked, sure that they would validate him by agreeing that this was just life. Instead, he was surprised by the variety of answers – apparently, he was the only one of them who had followed the American tradition of hating what they did for a living. He really shouldn't be surprised.
He turned his attention to Monica, taking a step toward her and hoping to reassure her.
"I'm sorry I won't be here."
She reached out to smooth down the collar of his jacket, resting her hands against his chest. "I just – it's hard enough not seeing you during the week, but for Christmas…" Chandler had to fight a smile. This was definitely for Joey's benefit – they had already covered this themselves a million times. "But if this is what you have to do, I understand." Chandler really expected her to turn around and give Joey and pointed glance, just to warn him that if she could handle this maturely, so could he.
"Thanks," Chandler told her sincerely, hoping she would see the love in his eyes. He leaned forward and kissed her gently, wishing that their friends were not always there when it was time for him to leave. "I'll see you New Year's Day," he reminded her in an upbeat voice, not wanting to think about how far away that was. Monica's eyes widened in surprise, giving him an odd feeling in the pit of his stomach.
"You're not gonna be here New Year's Eve?" she demanded, looking ready to rehash the whole ordeal again after this news.
"Did I not…mention that?" Chandler returned, trying to look innocent. Crap, I forgot to find "the right time"…
"No!"
Time to make your exit, Chandler. He sent her a guilty glance, then lifted his hand in a final wave.
"And to all a good night!" he announced in a slightly panicked voice, heading for the door without looking back at Monica to gauge just how furious she was. There was nothing he could do about it anyway…
She was right. It was unfair – to both of him. But they would have to make the best of it. He'd make it up to her later, he promised himself. Somehow.
Monica rolled restlessly onto her side, punching one fist into Chandler's pillow. Here she was, all alone, and he was working in Tulsa. With Wendy. The second prettiest girl in Oklahoma. Second prettiest that year, she thought to herself, mocking Chandler in her mind.
She hated the woman, whoever she was. It just wasn't fair that she got to spend Christmas with Chandler. He should be home, with her. Not with some pageant girl who was probably enthralled with her new boss, straight from the big city.
Monica sighed, hating herself for her thoughts. She wasn't sure what had triggered them – Chandler had worked with plenty of women – pretty ones – before, and she had never cared. Chandler had his bouts of jealousy…usually involving Richard…but she had never experienced it to this extent before. She had always been so secure in their relationship, and she wondered sometimes why he wasn't as sure of himself as she was. But if this was the way he felt when he went on his jealousy kicks, then she was determined to do everything she could to reassure him that she was in love with him; that she didn't want anyone but him.
That was what she wanted to hear from him now, she realized. He had told her there was nothing to worry about, and she believed him – how could she not? – but she couldn't shake the feeling that there was something not quite right.
Frustrated with herself, Monica finally reached for the phone, deciding that she would get no rest until she talked to Chandler. It was close enough to midnight for her to use the excuse of wanting to hear his voice as Christmas arrived. She'd tell him how furiously she missed him, and he would tell her the same. She'd feel better after she talked to him.
After the twelfth ring, Monica finally hung up, dejected. He wasn't there. He wasn't there? Then where the hell was he? He couldn't be working that late. He'd told her he sent everyone else home – everyone but Wendy. If he was with her…
She reached for his pillow and held it close to her, breathing in his smell. She closed her eyes, willing herself to forget about the whole thing and get some sleep. He'd call in the morning to wish her a Merry Christmas, she was sure of it. He wouldn't let it go with the tense conversation they had had earlier that evening, with the rest of their friends listening in on the speakerphone. She'd talk to him in the morning, she promised herself. And he'd assure her that everything was okay.
He missed his niece's first Christmas, Monica thought to herself as she watched Rachel help Emma tear the wrapping paper off the next in the pile of gifts sitting in front of them. Emma stared at the shiny foil paper they had removed, transfixed by the light bouncing off of it. Monica had to laugh as Rachel opened the box and squealed over the contents, while Emma bounced happily up and down, content with the bows she held securely in each fist.
He hadn't called yet. She had called his hotel at dawn, sure that he would be there by now. Still no answer. Her heart sank as she hung up the phone. She considered calling him on his cell phone, but pushed the thought away. He should be the one calling her, she decided stubbornly. Besides, she thought spitefully, she didn't want to interrupt anything if her husband was having sex with Wendy on the desk in his office.
Monica was jerked from her haunting thoughts when Emma decided she had had enough of the Christmas spirit and began whimpering. One look from Rachel, and Ross produced a bottle, then took his daughter from Rachel and began to walk her around the room as she ate, talking to her softly. Within minutes she was asleep, and Ross took her into the "guest" room for a nap.
"Rachel woke her up early because she couldn't wait to do "Santa Claus" any longer," Ross told them when he returned, grinning playfully at Rachel, who blushed slightly.
"Hey, she only gets one "first Christmas"!"
"Let's open our presents now!" Joey suggested excitedly, gyrating on the couch in glee. "Me first!"
Monica smiled and rolled her eyes at her friend, then stood up to walk over to the tree. "Here ya go, Joey. This is from me and Chandler."
Joey tore through the paper Chandler had spent so much time on, and Monica's thoughts wandered away again, going directly back to him. She wished he was here. He should be home.
"Aww…I love it!" Rachel was announcing as she held up the scarf Ross had spent countless hours choosing, running her fingers over the soft material.
"Really?" Ross asked, looking doubtful. "You're not going to return it?"
"Well, not this second," Rachel returned in a patronizing tone, assuring all of them that motherhood hadn't changed her that much.
Some people hope for rings of gold
All that money buysChildren have their list of toys, praying Santa gets it right
"Hey look, you guys," Phoebe cried as she went to the tree to look for another gift for Joey. "It's snowing!"
"Oh, wow, it's so beautiful," Rachel breathed as they all headed for the window.
"Wow, it really is," Ross agreed, and silence fell over the group, staring out at the flakes falling over the city.
I wonder if it's snowing in Tulsa, Monica wondered to herself. Maybe Chandler and Wendy are watching it together…
"Wendy's a fat girl's name," she proclaimed suddenly, as the faceless picture of the woman her husband was with took on the features of a girl she had met at fat camp.
"Aren't we done with that?" Phoebe asked, obviously tired of the subject.
"Okay, fine," Monica responded. "Let talk about snow. You think it's snowing in Tulsa where my husband's having sex on a copying machine?"
She was vaguely aware of the dirty look Joey was giving her, and immediately felt guilty for making the comment. She knew Chandler wasn't cheating – it was a ridiculous thought – but it was easier to make these sarcastic comments than it was to think about what other terrible things had kept him away from his hotel room all night, all morning, and all day.
"Hey!" she heard from the direction of the kitchen, and she turned quickly, unwilling to believe that she had really heard his voice. There he was, standing in the doorway with a smug grin on his face. She heard the others greeting him as she moved over to him, but all she could do was smile. He was home!
"What are you doing here?" she asked happily as she reached him, unable to believe that he was really in front of her.
"I wanted to be with you," he told her huskily, reaching for her hands. "I missed you so much."
"Hey, hey," Joey broke in, grinning widely. "Who did you miss the most?"
"Monica," Chandler stated plainly, giving Joey an odd look. Monica glanced back at Joey, smiling triumphantly and sympathetically at the same time.
"Gotcha," Joey agreed with a knowing nod, stepping back to join Ross and sending Chandler a thumbs up. Chandler looked back at Monica, taking a step closer to her.
"I never want to leave you again," he proclaimed, sending shivers down her spine as he spoke.
"But I thought if you left, you'd get fired," she reminded him, her face hopeful in spite of her words.
"Turns out they can't fire me," Chandler said seriously, his eyes begging her to understand. "Because I quit."
"What?" she asked, unbelieving. Ross echoed the question behind her, clarifying that it was his job Chandler was talking about quitting.
"Yeah," Chandler stated emphatically. "It was a stupid job! And I could not stand leaving you," he said to Monica. "And why should I be the only one who doesn't get to do what he really wants to do?"
"Well, what do you really want to do?" Rachel asked skeptically, still not positive what it was he had been doing all these years.
"I have NOT thought this through," Chandler proclaimed, just as emphatically but now with a clueless expression. He looked back at Monica, knowing that she had every reason to be upset with him for not consulting her first. "I know. I should have talked to you first about it."
"No," she said firmly, joyfully even. "I think that if this is what you want to do…I think it's great."
"Thanks," he whispered back, giving her a loving smile.
"Chandler," Phoebe interrupted. "You're being here is the best Christmas present I could have ever imagined." Monica nodded, agreeing wholeheartedly – but Phoebe grinned as she continued, hand outstretched. "Now give me my real gift."
Chandler smiled and reached into the pocket of his jacket. "Here, pass these around."
"A donation has been made in your name to the New York City Ballet," Ross read out loud after opening the envelope. He glanced up, smirking at Chandler. "How did you know?" he deadpanned.
"Are you kidding?" Rachel asked from the corner, perplexed. "I can't return this!"
"I thought it was time we started thinking about other people," Chandler said solemnly, hoping they wouldn't give him too much grief. "Besides, this gift still says I love you guys."
"Mine says "To Lillian Myers"," Joey commented as he read the envelope.
"I don't have a job!" Chandler retorted, eliciting sympathetic looks from Ross and Phoebe, and dirty ones from Joey and Rachel. Monica reached for his hand and squeezed it, hoping he would feel her support.
"I'm glad you're home," she whispered to him, kissing him softly as the others wandered back into the living. "This is the best gift you could have given me."
"Yeah, well…this is just as much for me as it is for you. You were right – we should be together. I couldn't stand the thought of you here without me – and I was stupid to think that anything was worth being away from you for one more day. I was thinking about you the whole time."
"I was thinking about you, too," Monica assured him with a smile, deciding not to tell him what she had been thinking. Maybe she would tell him later, but for now, all she wanted to do was be near him. He looked happy, she noticed. So much happier than he had been since he was transferred, in spite of his newly unemployed status.
The one thing that I wished for came true when you walked in
To hear you laugh again. To see you smile again…
"Merry Christmas, sweetheart," he whispered, pulling her close to him, the look in his eyes giving her every assurance she had longed for during her recent moments of uncertainty.
"Merry Christmas," she replied softly, her lips turning up as he rested his forehead against hers. "I think this one is the best yet."
"Yeah," Chandler agreed with a smirk. "But you know, I was thinking about some of our Christmases while I was in Tulsa, and there's really not a whole lot of competition for the title of "Best"."
"I don't care," Monica said, shaking her head. "You're here. That's the only Christmas wish I had."
Oh this Christmas time is the best one ever
The greatest gift in life is you and me together
And I thank heaven for sending you here tonight
Oh, this Christmas time.
Oh, this Christmas time is the best one ever
The great gift in life is you and me together.
And I thank heaven for sending you here tonight.
Sending you here tonight.
This Christmas time.
Merry Christmas everybody!!