Sequins and Stage Fright

Disclaimer: Just the product of my imagination.

Summary: It's time for Martha to pass on a secret of her success. AU companion/sequel to "The Trouble With Dancing" and "Broadway Baby". Recital day for Anna Castle.

I needed fluff. And I've been spending a lot of time at the dance studio again with little ones. So this happened. Enjoy!

Anna follows along behind her mother, eyes wide in amazement at all the other girls and their mom's wandering around the halls beside them. Some of them have on tap shoes, clicking and clacking on the tile, some are leaping and turning around in puffy tutus, and some of them are wearing big, funny-looking, feathered things on their heads. They didn't look at all like they belonged together.

Did they all go to the same dancing school that she did?

"Mommy?" She asks in a quiet voice, tugging on her mother's shirt. She's not wearing her detective clothes today - something the little girl likes - so she's allowed to stand closer. Anna tucks tighter into her mom's side, trying not to be trampled by everyone else.

"What baby?"

"Do all these girls dance, too?"

Kate hums her affirmation, placing her free hand carefully on her daughter's back to guide her along. "They're all Miss Jane's students. Just like you."

"But…but they're bigger than me!" She clutches her dance bag tighter, afraid that she'll drop it and lose it.

"Yeah," Kate laughs, "they are. Maybe one day you'll be a big-girl dancer, too." She pulls them to stop in front of one of the doors and has to tug on Anna's hair to reel in her attention. "How about this room, Anna? Do those look like your costumes?"

Anna perches up on her tiptoes to look at the pictures on the neon orange sheet of paper taped to the classroom door. There's a little girl wearing a purple dress that looks just like her ballet costume, and another smiling girl wearing the same pink and polka dotted costume that she brought home last week for her tap dance. "Yeah! These are them Mommy! Is this my room?"

"Open the door and see." Kate stands behind with the garment bag and tote draped over her arm, watching as the tiny dancer pulls open the door with all her strength to run inside. "Slow down Anna, be careful!"

When Kate steps in the door behind Anna she's greeted by the smiling faces of the other mothers from her daughter's class. It seems like each little girl has a desk of their own to use, all of their costumes hanging up side by side by side, various name tags hanging off of the hangers. "I'm going to hang up your costumes, okay?" She turns to see that Anna's already skipped off to a corner where the other girls in her class are lying down on their tummies in front of a portable DVD player.

"First show?" One of the other mom's slides up to Kate as she's unzipping Anna's zebra-striped garment bag to lay out the costumes.

"How'd you know?" She chuckles. "Kate," she holds out her hand. "I'm sorry, I haven't been able to come and watch class-"

"Oh! You're Rick Castle's wife. The detective."

"My mommy catches bad guys." Anna chirped up beside her, her little arms wrapping around her thighs. "She's the best. Whose mommy are you?"

The woman smiles at Anna's precociousness and tells her which little girl is hers. "Is there anything you need any help with? This is Sophia's first show, too, but I have another daughter in one of the older classes."

"I think I've got everything," Kate turns with Anna and starts to pull out baggies of mess-proof snacks, coloring books and the little make-up box Alexis had bought for the even. "My mother-in-law kind of does this for a living, so we got a whole lecture, didn't we Anna Banana?"

"Mhmm. My Gram likes to talk a lot."

"Yeah, she does. But she knows her stuff, doesn't she?"

Anna nods vigorously against her mother's jeans, listening as Sophia's mom says which dance is first, how they come to help the girls change, and how the post-show routine works, before she goes back over to where the other moms are sitting. "Mommy, is Gram going to come and see me before I go dance?"

"I think so. But we need to do your hair first, okay?"

"Okay!" She hops up onto the chair and turns around, patiently waiting and sitting still as Kate tames the girl's dark waves into a French braid. "Do I get to wear make up too? Like Lexi does?"

"As soon as I finish your hair I'll show you."

Anna tries not to move too much in the seat, fighting the urge to wiggle with anticipation. As soon as the braid is tied off she's being plucked up by her armpits and flipped around so that she's sitting with her bottom on the desk and her feet in the seat. Her eyes sparkle when her mother pops open the little silver make up kit, revealing different eye shadows, blush and brushes.

Her mother swipes some light brown shadow over her lids, just like she does to herself every morning, and draws on the edges of her eyes with some sort of special pencil. Then comes the bigger brush over her cheeks, forehead and nose that makes them look pink. But when she pulls out the tube of mascara, Anna cringes.

"No! Mommy, don't use that one!"

"Why not Anna? It'll help make you look pretty on stage."

"It's itchy! I don't like it."

"Come here," Anna is trying to squirm away from Kate, even though she has one hand on her leg keeping her from falling off of the desk. "Trust me, once you start dancing you won't even remember it's on."

"Noooo," she whines.

"Johanna," Kate breaks out the stern voice, half-mom and half-cop, "it's only mascara. You only have to wear it for your dances, and I promise," she emphasizes, "we'll take it off as soon as you're done."

"Promise?" Anna holds out her pinky, huffing with the effort of arguing and trying to evade the little black tube.

"I promise." Kate wraps her longer pink around Anna's with a smile and a kiss to the little girl's nose. She manages to get Anna's lashes thinly coated before Anna's begging to put on her costume and practice with her friends.

Martha waltzes in just as the girls are finishing up a rehearsal of their ballet dance.

"Gram!"

Anna shouts, runs around the other girls and desks to get to her grandmother who swoops her up into a spinning hug.

"Oh, my little ballerina. You look beautiful."

"Really?"

"Absolutely! Would I lie to you?"

Anna giggles, does a little turn for her mom and gram. "I get to go dance on a big stage like you!"

"You do! Are you excited?"

"Mhmm!"

"Here Anna," Kate catches her attention, "take a picture with Gram."

The pair of showgirls smile for the camera, one dramatic pose, one of Martha with her arms wrapped around her granddaughter.

"I wanna see!" Anna skips over and yanks on Kate's arms to see the picture on the digital camera's screen. She dubs it perfect and heads back over to the rest of the girls.

Kate is looking on as Anna smiles and giggles, dancing in little circles with her classmates and feels her mother-in-law's arm wrap around her shoulders. "You've done a good job, darling."

"Well," she smiles, looking down at her feet, "she loves it. As long as she's happy, it's all worth it. I danced when I was her age," she sighs with a laugh, "But it was a very short-lived experience."

Martha's eyebrows quirk in question.

"I've never been that great at taking direction." She rocks back on her heels with a smirk, because she knows that it's no secret that she doesn't like to be told what to do. "Somehow, I think she'll see it through longer than I did."

"She's got your determination." Martha says in a very reserved and loving tone.

"Thank you for showing her a way to use it."

"Oh, anytime, kiddo," she exclaims, "anytime. This is what I live for."

They watch as the girls twirl and skip around each other, chattering and squealing in excitement. But Anna isn't with them all of a sudden.

Before either woman has the chance to panic the girl in question is standing in front of them, adorable in her purple leotard and tulle skirt with the sequin-trimmed straps. Her hands find a home in one each of theirs and pull them down to her level.

Kate's eyes scan her daughter's face, searching for any evidence of a problem. "What is it, Sweetie?"

Anna's quiet – which rarely happens – looking between her mother and grandmother, tentative and questioning.

"I…I'm scared, Mommy."

"Oh, baby," Kate squeezes her tiny hand, "All week you've been telling me how excited you were to show me your dances. You don't want to go out and smile big and dance pretty? Everyone came to watch you and cheer for you."

"But, but they said there's a lot of people, and there's no mirrors like in class and-"

Martha hums, "I think I know what's bothering her. Why don't you go find your seat, kiddo? I'll stick with our ballerina, here."

"You're sure?" Kate kisses Anna's cheek and tells her she's loved before promptly being shooed away. She waves, reluctantly, and follows another few mothers out of the room, leaving her daughter with the voice of experience.

"Gram, I don't feel so good. My tummy feels funny."

"Hmm, well let's see." She pinches her chin between her thumb and forefinger, feigning deep thought for her nervous granddaughter.
"What does it feel like? Does it feel like daddy made you a silly breakfast?"

"No," she shakes her head, "he made me special star pancakes and fruit this morning. And Lexi helped me pack my backpack before Mommy brought me here."

"I see…Well, does it feel like there are butterflies in your tummy? Fluttering and dancing around in there?"

Anna gives a subtle little nod while her fingers twist over and under her grandmother's. "Yeah."

"I think that you, my dear, might have a case of stage fright."

"What's that?" Anna cocks her head, twisting side to side, her ballet shoes sliding back and forth against the tile.

"Oh, that's something I know a lot about. Stage fright is what it's called when you get nervous and a little scared before you go on stage."

"Even you get scared Gram? But, you're so good and you're on a stage a lot!"

"I know," she laughs, "but sometimes even I get a little nervous before I go on. Do you want to know what helps me?"

"Mm-hmm."

Martha moves a hand from Anna's shoulder to wipe away a smudge of eyeliner with the pad of her thumb. Anna looks somewhat less petrified, but curious, waiting to hear the secret of her idol. "When I get scared, I close my eyes, and I try to remember how happy I feel when I'm practicing and when I get to show everyone what I love to do. Can you try that for me?"

Anna closes her eyes and takes a deep breath. She thinks about how much fun she has in dance class with her teacher and her friends, and how good she feels when she finishes her dance, and how her parents and sister clap for her when she practices for them at home. She can feel her Gram's hands on her arms, warm and soft, and when she opens her eyes again the butterflies are all gone.

"It worked! Gram, the butterflies went away! I'm not scared anymore!"

"See? I knew it would work."

Anna lunges into the older woman's arms with a smile stretching from ear to ear, all her nerves forgotten.

Martha gently rubs Anna's back as she whispers into her ear. "Mommy's going to come and help you change for your tap dance in a little bit, okay? And I'll see you again after the show?"

"Okay, Gram." Anna nods and pulls back so her grandmother can stand up, "I love you."

"Oh, I love you too, Anna. You're going to steal the whole show."

Maybe not my best, but I very much enjoyed writing it, nonetheless.

Yes, it is entirely possible for a very headstrong kid like Anna to have a sudden bout of stage fright. I've been teaching little ones for the past 7 years and have seen it happen several times. Perfectly fine and confident one minute, then boom! nervous wreck. Martha and I share a trick of how to cure it.

Just for the heck of it I have a picture of the ballet costume I used here on my tumblr (pursuitoftappiness . tumblr . com). There's also a picture of the very ambiguous tap costume I mentioned.

Thanks for reading!

Tappin
=)