A/N: this is a totally random story. It's about bakura and malik's messed up family :D and this is a sister fic to InsaneEvilLittleEmmy's story. She's doing Atem and Yami's family! So go and read it!

Pairings:

MonarchShipping with fem. Yami

ThiefShipping with Fem. Malik

Ages:

Bakura: 28

Malik: 27 (her and bakura are high school sweethearts er…accomplices)

Mariku: 27 (him and malik are twins)

Ryou: 25

Isis: 31

Rishid: 34

Akefia: 5

Mana: 4

Warnings: Potty mouths…sexual references…Drama…Mariku as a father, Malik with her motherness, and Ryou going to smother his older brother! Hehe, let's read shall we…

Summary: Bakura and Malik are married and have a son named Akefia. Can Akefia handle their 'parenting' whilst he and his cousin Mana just want to have fun? Can Bakura handle his in-laws and his little brother constantly coming over? More importantly can he handle the new neighbors?

The Touzoku Family

Akefia laughed and threw himself once again into the giant mud puddle him and Mana had created. Mana squealed as more mud was thrown all over her.

"Kefi, are you sure auntie doesn't care?" Mana asked for the third time in five minutes.

Akefia sighed as he pulled himself out of the puddle and looked at his cousin in the face. He almost laughed again when he saw the way she looked. Her long blond hair had mud all over it and her face had specks of mud almost everywhere.

"No! Come on Mana! Jump in!" He yelled in excitement as he grabbed his cousin's arms and dragged her into mud puddle.

The two kids starting giggling at each other and throwing as much mud as they could when a black car pulled into the driveway.

Ryou sighed as Mariku continued to yell about how he was hungry and needed to eat. Ryou was sitting in the backseat with Mariku as Isis and Rishid tried to ignore him from the front seat. They were all getting back from a very important meeting at the museum that Ryou, Rishid, and Isis worked at; they had to pick up Mariku on the way so that they could all go see their 'favorite' family.

Isis was about to yell at her younger brother to shut up when they finally pulled into the driveway and everyone's attention was drawn to the kids in the front lawn who were wrestling in a giant mud puddle.

Isis and Rishid were about to charge out of the car and pull the kids out of the filth when suddenly Mariku had opened his door and ran as fast as he could toward the mud puddle and jumped in himself. All of the adults in the car sweatdropped as they watched the twenty-seven year old playing in the mud with his daughter and nephew.

"He'll never grow up will he?" Ryou asked as he opened his door and started to walk toward the front door of his brother's house.

Isis and Rishid only nodded their heads as they began to unbuckle their seatbelts and climb out of the car.

Suddenly Rishid asked something that spiked Isis' interest.

"Where's Bakura and Malik?" he asked as he took off the dress coat his sister had made him wear to the meeting.

Isis was about to say she didn't know when she heard screaming from inside the house. Great they were at it again.

Mariku was laughing as he splattered both of the kids in the mud. Akefia tackled his uncle while Mana jumped onto him giggling.

"Daddy!" she yelled as she attached herself to Mariku's back and Akefia was attempting to push his uncle back into the dirt to teach him a lesson.

"Kefi! Stop hitting daddy!" Mana yelled as she lunged herself as her cousin to stop his assault on her dad.

Mariku about died of laughter when Mana had managed to pin Akefia face down and was ordering him to surrender.

"Never!" Akefia yelled as he attempted to squirm out of the grip.

Mariku was about to toss both of the kids into the mud when he heard a scream come from inside the house.

"Great…" he growled as he picked up both of the kids and began to walk toward the water hose to clean them off.

Ryou had about had a heart attack when the scream echoed through the house but kept it together. He could only imagine what his brother and Malik were doing.

He was somewhat afraid as he made his way into the house and toward the kitchen where he thought the noise was coming from. Ryou walked into the kitchen to find Malik throwing a knife at Bakura and missing his head by only a few centimeters. He felt his gut drop as he stared at the supposed two 'lovebirds'.

"Mal, calm the hell down! I was hungry!" Bakura yelled as he ducked from another knife that was thrown at him.

Malik just continued to screech as she threw anything she could get her hands on at her husband.

"I was making those for Isis! I wanted her to see that I could bake something and you ate it you fat hog!" Malik yelled as she ran out of knives and grabbed the other kitchen utensils to throw at him.

Ryou just stared as he waited for something to happen. Why did he bother to visit his brother again?

Akefia yelled as Mariku carried him toward the water hose, he knew what that meant. He really began squirming and trying to get out of his uncles unleashing grip when suddenly he was dropped on his butt next to Mana and water began to shower down on him and Mana.

"AAAHHHH!" both of them yelled as hands began to scrub the mud off of them.

Isis and Rishid sighed as they walked into the kitchen to see their sister throwing as many pointy and sharp items as she could find at Bakura.

"Damn it woman! Get over yourself!" Bakura yelled as a chopping block hit him in the gut and made him take a side step near the wall.

"Ha! You had no problem with me acting like 'this' on our honeymoon sweetheart!" Malik yelled as she took advantage of Bakura's misstep and ran at him as fast as she could at him.

Rishid was about to reach for his sister to stop her when suddenly screaming was heard and everyone except for the deadly couple turned around to look. Akefia came in running slipping over himself and screaming as Mana was right behind him. Isis, Rishid, and Ryou were about to grab the kids when Mariku ran in view soaking wet and holding the water hose which was still squirting water. All of them sweatdropped as they stared at him. He laughed as he pointed the hose at them and drenched them.

"Take that losers!" Mariku laughed as he continued to spray his siblings and Ryou.

"Mariku!" Isis screamed as Mana latched onto her leg and she was being sprayed with water in her favorite dress.

Ryou just sighed as he let the water hit his face directly. It was official, why did he bother to visit his brother?

Rishid frowned as he stepped in front of his sister and began to walk towards the source of the water. Today was officially crappy.

Akefia ran into the kitchen to look for safety from his uncle. He ran past the adults and right into his mother's legs as she reached Bakura and kicked him in the groin.

"H-holy Ra" Bakura mumbled as pain flashed across his face.

Akefia stopped as he hit his mother's legs and watched the pained face on his father and then watched him fall down. Akefia really didn't know what to say about the look of triumph on his mother's face. Only one thing came to his mind. OUCH.

Okay hope you like it emmy! Personally I like yours better lol, I hope to make the second chap soon. Um I would love reviews! I would let each of you get a hug from Akefia! You know you want the little kiddie to hug you!