Disclaimer: I don't own umineko. Period.

Author's note: This time, I entered my sorcerer self into the world of Umineko.

Been asking where the photos of those gorish nightmares on Rokkenjima came from? That's me right there.

Sorcerer of Interpretation

Chapter 1

Tip tap tip tap…splotch.

I skipped a bit to save my boots from water.

It's old. It's very old. And in so many ways, the main mansion of the Ushiromiya family exert its age with a tinge of pompousness. And the garden of roses that surrounds it was a sight to sore eyes. A delightful menagerie of the wealth that Ushiromiya Kinzo has managed to built, their glow after the short spell of rain this morning was like that of gold.

Yes, Rokkenjima, the bewitching island. The island of the Golden Witch, Beatrice.

It's attractive in so many ways, but what attracted me to this blood drenched island was the sheer number of intrigues and magic involved. And the amount of cute girls, of course.

Click!

I took the small paper that came out from my camera and shook it a few times.

"Wonderful," I smiled , satisfied. The picture of the mansion bathed in the golden light of the sun after a brief rain, and the bed of roses, they glowed with life. And they certainly did. At the corner of the picture, I saw Kanon, the servant that had been caring for the roses. The Kanon in the picture was moving.

I proceeded along the path, playfully stepping on a pool of rainwater, spraying Kanon's lower half with water.

"Huh? Who's there?"

The handsome servant looked around, bewildered. At that moment I took his picture.

Click!

He didn't react to the sound of my camera's sound. It was as if I don't exist.

"Must be my imagination," he then wiped the side of his pants, grumbling inaudibly.

"Hmm…hmmm…" I hummed after inspecting Kanon's adorable face. He is one of my favorite piece. His tsundereness is very...refreshing.

I exploded into a splash of light and reappeared by the forest's entrance.

My eyes spotted Kinzo, who was out on his morning walks. He must be about to meet Natsuhi. Well, nothing interesting there, let's move on.

But just as I was about to move to another location, a girl appeared in front of me, swishing her tail playfully.

"Ah, wassup? Long time no see, Lady Rika."

"I don't go by that name here," she said with a demure expression on his face."

"Oh, right…wrong story then?" I courteously removed my newsboys hat and bowed. "Then, nice to meet you, Lady Bernkastel."

Contrary to my expectation, the frightful Witch of Miracles humored my flippancy with a curtsey. "It's a pleasure to meet you, Sir Norbert," she gave me a sweet smile that was as delightful as a devil's grin. "I saw your latest work in my favorite magazine. That was a very flattering picture of me almost naked in bed with Lambda."

"Yeah, you could have shown a little bit more skin though."

"There's a name for that kind of man who likes to take picture of girls quietly though. It's voyeur."

"That's very flattering. KUKKYAKYAKYAKYA!!"

Yes. My name is Norbert and I'm a Sorcerer. If Lady Bernkastel is the Witch of Miracles then you might think of me as the Sorcerer of Interpretation, aka the Sorcerer who weaves interpretation.

You might not think that this is a very flattering position, but think about it, the world is all about interpretation. For example, imagine an older man who was kissing a high school girl. If you are another high school girl, you'd say that the girl was trying to swindle money out of him. If you are another old man, you'd murmur "Damn lucky bastard" and follow his example. Then, if you are the old man's wife, you'd grab the closest pitcher and beat him until he cried like a mama's boy.

Witches and Sorcerers live with fear of boredom, like Bern here. She killed people mercilessly just to alleviate some of the pain. Me, my passion lies in the search of pictorial perfection. Taking photos of what interests me is my greatest pleasure. My guilty pleasure is to take them and send them to the most famous demon world's publishing which name I can't spell in human tongue, creating chaos in both heaven and demon world.

Sometimes even taking pictures of the Eiserne Jungfrau, damn stiff people, and send them to perverts. If you want some, go to Exellen Street 31 of demon world, ask for Garrhggsds, tell him I sent you.

"Who have you been talking to?" Bernkastel asked me while tilting her cute little head.

"Just talking to the masses. Hello masses."

She shrugged. "Anyway, did you have fun during the 4 games?"

"Yeah, real nice artwork. And the suspense? Genius!"

"The coverage you did on the Golden Witch's game is nice, by the way."

"Really? Thanks a lot. It's like watching the Salem Witch Trial all over again. Except with less overcooked meat smell."

"Yeah, I know. I've seen your photos. Anyway, the real game for the fifth episode is going to begin soon. Why don't you join us?" she gave me her lithe little hand.

"Really? Wonderful!"

I took hers without hesitation. Despite her often exploding murderous impulses, I got along with her better than with Lambdadelta.

"Are your furnitures with you?"

"Furfur and her brother? Oh, they'll be along shortly," I smiled. "Anyway, I hear you're about to help Battler with your double?"

"I see, you've been listening in to my pillow talk with Lambdadelta again. You should just come in and join us."

"Oh, I'm not listening in, I'm just watching. Well, possibly later, Lambdadelta won't like that though..."

"Hahaha, that's what so fun! So anyway…" she said, this time rather peevishly. "Do you have copies of the photo you took of us that night?"

"Of course! I've even made them…animated." I waved my hand and an album of my latest sojourn came into being in a flash of white light. "Do you want them?"

"Oh, of course!"

AN: So, voyeurism...not exactly the kind of sorcerer I want to be, but it's fun! Yeah! Umineko is chock full of interesting things and cute girls

So, there should be someone who took the trouble to take each of their glory and present them with commentary! and that's me!

This chapter is just introduction of my character. And I'll be documenting some of the characters in my own way, or rather, in Norbert's own way.

Be sure that there will be funny, if somewhat angsty moments!