Disclaimer: I own not Fushigi Yuugi or Les Miserables.
In this, KoK and Korin teamed up, although Korin only came in at the end. She has no entrances in this fic. It's kind of hard to make a tragedy into a comedy, so this is a combination. Hence the humour/angst classification. Also, please note, this is based off the musical, not the book. In the book, Eponine and Gavroche were related, but there is no sign of this in the musical. So it's not intended to be incest. Thanks!
OK!!! For this parody I was having fun. I would have loved to make a reincarnation, but I realized after many hopeless attempts that it would never work. So. I decided to have it just be the characters putting on a play. Doesn't matter how, or when, or where. But they're all being called names which are not their seishi names, hence the guide below, explaining who's who. (I don't like their seishi names half as well as their other names)
Miaka: Miaka
Yui: Yui
Tamahome: Kishuku
Hotohori: Saihitei
Nuriko: Ryuuen
Tasuki: Genrou
Chichiri: Houjun
Chiriko: Douken
Mitsukake: Myoujuan
Amiboshi: Koutoku
Suboshi: Shunkaku
Nakago: Ayuru
Tomo: Chuin
Soi: Kaen
Tomite: Chamka
Hikitsu: Emtato
Tokaki: Lanva
Subaru: Doulin
Miboshi: Midori
Ashitare: Ryusaburo
Tatara: Kasaru
Shouka, Kouran, Kourin, Suzuno, Takiko are all here too, in the play, sadly. Gyokuren, Yuiren, Chuei, and Shunkei are all here also.
Taiitsukun and Nyan-nyan are here...because they needed to help some poor pathetic authoress put on a play and decided to come!!
Onnagata means "woman impersonator".
Heika means "his highness" or "your highness"
Cast List: A Fushigi Yuugi Les Miserables ~ I have my reasons for every character. No one may argue.
Valjean: Saihitei (Because Waen said that Koutoku would not be a good Valjean) ~ A convict who stole a bottle of shampoo
Javert: Ayuru (BECAUSE AYURU WITH SIDEBURNS IS TO DIE FOR!!!!) ~ The officer determined to give him lice - no matter what!
Cosette: Miaka (Miaka and Kishuku, Cosette and Marius, hello?) ~ Valjean's adopted daughter
Marius: Kishuku (See above) ~ A young student rebel in love with Cosette
Eponine: Yui (It's the Fushigi Yuugi triangle!!) ~ The daughter of Thénardier, who is supposed to be in love with Marius, but actually finds that she'd like to bestow her affections on Gavroche (Hey this is Shunkaku/Yui ya know!)
Gavroche: Shunkaku (Swearing problems. And try picturing Shun as Gavvy. HA!) ~ A young beggar with attitude
Monsieur Thénardier: Chuin (The Thénardiers not fond of one another) ~ A crooked innkeeper
Madam Thénardier: Kaen (You have to know Mm Thénardier to get this - it will become clear) ~ His wife, who also has severe swearing problems. In fact, Genrou would have made a good Mm Thénardier. Oh well, don't care.
Fantine: Koutoku (Innocents to begin with they both were) ~ A young woman abandoned by the man she loved, then discovered she was pregnant. She was Cosette's mother
Bishop of Digne: Houjun (HELLLOOOOO!!! Holy people!!) ~ A bishop who took Valjean in and changed his life drastically
Enjolras: Ryuuen (Enjolras beats up on Grantaire) ~ The leader of the rebelling students
Grantaire: Genrou (Both alcoholics) ~ Enjolras' "pal" (AKA useful thing to hit when he's stressed out)
Young Cosette: Douken (True innocents. Besides, they're both cutely pathetic *makes face*) ~ Cosette as a small girl
Students:
Combeferre: Emtato
Courfeyrac: Chamka
Feuilly: Myoujuan
Prouvaire: Midori
Lesgles: Kasaru
Joly: Ryusaburo
My PROFUSE apologies to the real students, because I had not read the book when I wrote this, and did not really cast them in correct parts. *blush* Sorry... Some of the students WILL be making appearances...
*grin* Replacements, and other Extras: The FY members not covered - such as Doulin, Taiitsukun, blah blah blah...
Extra, extra, read all about it! Enjolras is stalking Valjean! And that same peaceful man (Valjean) wants the death of Marius!! Eponine is in love with Gavroche, and Eponine and Marius hate each other's guts!!
(Setting: A stage, somewhere in Yuugi Broadway. The theatre is packed)
(Ryuuen walks onstage)
Ryuuen: We are proud to welcome you to our production of Les Miserables. I am Ryuuen Chou, and I play Enjolras in the following show. I am also the assistant director, while KoK *KoK walks onstage and bows* is our director. We would like to dedicate this to Victor Hugo, my girlfriend Taira - *waves* Hi Taira, ya out there? - and also to Sai, and Koutoku. *wink* Those last two are courtesy KoK and me. And Taira, don't look so sad. I'm bi, remember? *grin* There will be one intermission. We ask that any fangirls in the audience not scream too loudly when Sai takes off his shirt. And here we are at...PART ONE!! This is the first half, in which you are introduced to half the main characters. And now....TO BEGIN!!
(Curtain rises)
(Music starts)
Work Song / Look Down
PRISONERS
Look down, look down
Don't look 'em in the eye
Look down, look down,
You're here until you die
CONVICT ONE (Emtato)
The sun is strong
It's hot as hell below
I live in northern climates!!
PRISONER
Look down, look down,
There's twenty years to go
And quit whining, eyepatch boy!
CONVICT TWO (Kasaru)
I've done no wrong!
Dear Byakko, hear my prayer!
My seeds are dying!
PRISONERS
Look down look down,
Dear Byakko doesn't care
Especially not about your accursed plants
CONVICT THREE (Chamka)
I know she'll wait,
I know that she'll be true!
I protected Takiko for years!
PRISONERS
Look down, look down,
They've all forgotten you
Besides which, Takiko is dead
CONVICT FOUR (Lanva)
When I get free ya won't see me
Here for dust!
I'll be too busy chasing after girls!
PRISONERS
Look down, look down
Don't look 'em in the eye
And who would want a guy with numbers tattooed on his chest?
CONVICT FIVE (Midori)
How long, oh Lord
Before you let me die?
Or at lease give me my rattle back!
PRISONERS
Look down, look down,
You'll always be a slave
Look down, look down,
You're standing in your grave
And you're an evil baby!
JAVERT (Ayuru)
Now bring me prisoner 24601
Your time is up
And your parole's begun
You know what that means.
VALJEAN (Saihitei)
Yes, it means I'm free.
Free to take a shower again!
And perm my hair
And be pampered
And-
JAVERT (Ayuru)
No!
It means you get
Your yellow ticket-of-leave
You are a thief
You are too vain for your own good
VALJEAN (Saihitei)
I stole a bottle of shampoo.
JAVERT (Ayuru)
You robbed a house.
VALJEAN (Saihitei)
I broke a windowpane.
My hair was close to death
And I had lice!
JAVERT (Ayuru)
You will have lice forever
Unless you learn the meaning of the law.
VALJEAN (Saihitei)
I know the meaning of those 19 years
A slave of the law
JAVERT (Ayuru)
Five years for what you did
The rest because you tried to run
Yes, 24601.
VALJEAN (Saihitei)
My name is Jean Valjean the Clean
JAVERT (Ayuru)
And I am Javert the Lice-Breeder!
Do not forget my name!
Do not forget me,
24601.
*to himself*
Valjean the Clean, huh. I'll see him with lice yet!!
PRISONERS
Look down, look down
You'll always be a slave
Look down, look down
You're standing in your grave.
VALJEAN (Saihitei)
Freedom is mine. The earth is still.
I feel the wind. I breathe again.
And the sky clears
The world is waking.
Drink from the pool. How clean the taste.
I can wash!!
Never forget the years, the waste.
Nor forgive them
For what they've done.
They are the guilty - everyone.
My poor hair!
My beautiful body!
A victim of those years of uncleanliness!
The day begins...
And now let's see
What this new world
Will do for me!
Maybe I'll make my own brand of conditioner!
(He finds work in a hair-care products factory)
MANAGER (Kasaru)
You'll have to go
I'll pay you off for the day
Collect your bits and pieces there
And be on your way.
VALJEAN (Saihitei)
You show up everywhere, don't you?
Anyway
You have given me half
What the other men get!
This handful of tin
Wouldn't buy my sweat!
Not that I have any
I am perfectly clean
LABORER (Lanva)
You broke the law
It's there for people to see
Why should you get the same
As honest men like me?
VALJEAN (Saihitei)
You're here too!! You were in prison with me!
LABORER (Lanva)
I'm an extra. I do odd jobs. I'm also honest
VALJEAN (Saihitei)
Now every door is closed to me
Another jail. Another key. Another chain
For when I come to any town
They check my papers
And they find the mark of Cain
In their eyes I see their fear
`We do not want you here.'
I'll never be able to make my own brand of conditioner!!
*breaks down sobbing*
(He comes to an inn)
INKEEPER'S WIFE (Doulin)
My rooms are full
And I've no supper to spare
I'd like to help a stranger
All we want is to be fair
VALJEAN (Saihitei)
I will pay in advance
I can sleep in a barn
You see how dark it is
I'm not some kind of dog!
INNKEEPER (Lanva)
You leave my house
Or feel the weight of my rod
We're law-abiding people here
Thanks be to Byakko.
VALJEAN (Saihitei)
AHHHHH!!!! You again! You're everywhere!!
INKEEPER (Lanva)
Yup. He's crazy.
(They throw him out of the inn)
VALJEAN (Saihitei)
And now I know how freedom feels
The jailer always at your heels
It is the law!
This piece of paper in my hand
That makes me cursed throughout the land
It is the law!
Like a cur
I walk the street,
The dirt beneath their feet.
Without even a hot shower!
The world is cruel!
(He sits down despairingly outside a house from which emerges the Bishop of Digne.)
BISHOP (Houjun)
Come in, Sir, for you are weary,
And the night is cold out there no da!
Though our lives are very humble
What we have, we have to share no da!
There is wine here to revive you no da!
Genrou agrees too na no da
There is bread to make you strong,
There's a bed to rest till morning,
Rest from pain, and rest from wrong no da!
I'll even give you a bath na no da
VALJEAN (Saihitei)
He let me have a lovely shower
He let me use as much water as I wanted
The shampoo in my hand
Cost twice what I had earned
In all those nineteen years -
That lifetime of despair
And yet he trusted me.
The old fool trusted me -
He'd done his bit of good
I played the grateful serf
And thanked him like I should
But when the house was still,
I got up in the night.
Took the shampoo!
Took my flight!
(Taking the bottles of shampoo, he runs off, but is brought back by two constables.)
Valjean Arrested, Valjean Forgiven
CONSTABLE ONE (Ryusaburo)
*barks*
TRANSLATING MACHINE
Tell his reverence your story
CONSTABLE TWO (Midori)
Let us see if he's impressed
CONSTABLE ONE (Ryusaburo)
*barks*
TRANSLATING MACHINE
You were lodging here last night
CONSTABLE TWO (Midori)
You were the honest Bishop's guest.
CONSTABLE ONE (Ryusaburo)
*barks*
TRANSLATING MACHINE
And then, out of Taikyoku-zan goodness
CONSTABLE TWO (Midori)
When he learned about your plight
CONSTABLE ONE (Ryusaburo)
*barks*
TRANSLATING MACHINE
You maintain he made a present of this shampoo.
BISHOP (Houjun)
That is right no da
But my friend you left so early
Surely something slipped your mind no da
(The bishop gives Valjean two silver hairbrushes)
You forgot I gave these also
Would you leave the best behind no da?
So, Messieurs, you may release him
For this man has spoken true no da!
I commend you for your duty
Suzaku's blessings go with you no da
(Constables leave. The bishop addresses Valjean)
But remember this, my brother:
See in this some higher plan no da
You must use this precious silver
To become an honest man no da
By the witness of the Nyan-nyans,
By the kasa and shakujo,
I have raised you out of darkness no da!
I have bought your soul for Suzaku no da!
Houjun: Bye, Heika no da!! Come back later and I'll organize the army with you no da!
Saihitei: Thanks, Houjun. These are lovely hairbrushes too...
Houjun: Glad you like them no da! See ya soon no da!
Saihitei: Note to self. Find a way to get Houjun to drop the no da...
What Have I Done? (Valjean's Soliloquy)
VALJEAN (Saihitei)
What have I done?
Sweet Suzaku, what have I done?
Become a thief in the night,
Become a dog on the run
And have I fallen so far,
And is the hour so late
That nothing remains but the cry of my hate,
The cries in the dark that nobody hears,
Here where I stand at the turning of the years?
If there's another way to go
I missed it twenty long years ago
My life was a war that could never be won
They gave me a number and murdered Valjean
When they chained me and left me in goo
Just for stealing a jar of shampoo
Yet why did I allow that man
To touch my soul and teach me love?
He treated me like any other
He gave me his trust
He called me brother
My life he claims for Suzaku
Can such things be?
For I had come to hate the world
This world that always hated me
Made me unclean!
Broke my heart as it ruined my hair!
Take a hair for a hair!
Turn your heart into soap!
This is all I have lived for!
This is all I have known!
One word from him and I'd be back
Hair full of lice, too many to smack
Instead he offers me my cleanliness
I feel my shame inside me like a knife
He told me that I have a soul,
How does he know?
What spirit comes to move my life?
Is there another way to go?
I am reaching, but I fall
And the night is closing in
And I stare into the void
To the whirlpool of my sin
I'll escape now from the world
From the world of Jean Valjean
Jean Valjean is nothing now
Another (clean) story must begin!
(He tears up his yellow ticket-of-leave)
At The End Of The Day
(1823, Montreuil-sur-Mer. Outside the hair-care products factory owned by the Mayor, Monsieur Madeleine (Jean Valjean in disguise).)
THE POOR
At the end of the day you're another day older
And that's all you can say for the life of the poor
It's a struggle, it's a war
And there's nothing that anyone's giving
One more day standing about, what is it for?
One day less to be living.
At the end of the day you're another day colder
And the shirt on your back doesn't keep out the chill
And the righteous hurry past
They don't hear the little ones crying
And the winter is coming on fast, ready to kill
One day nearer to dying!
At the end of the day there's another day dawning
And the sun in the morning is waiting to rise
Like the waves crash on the sand
Like a storm that'll break any second
There's a hunger in the land
There's a reckoning still to be reckoned and
There's gonna be hell to pay
At the end of the day!
(The foreman and workers, including Fantine, emerge from the factory)
FOREMAN (Lanva)
At the end of the day you get nothing for nothing
Sitting flat on your butt doesn't buy any bread
*looks at Fantine* Cute one though
ENJOLRAS (Ryuuen)
Lanvaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!! *punches him into the wall*
Next time do it right!
He's a boy wearing girl's clothes anyway!
Kinda like me
Except I do it all the time.
Had to make exceptions for the play
WORKER ONE (Myoujuan)
There are children back at home
WORKERS ONE AND TWO (Myoujuan and Kasaru)
And the children have got to be fed
WORKER TWO (Kasaru)
And you're lucky to be in a job
WOMAN (Taiitsukun)
And you're not dead!
WORKERS
And we're counting our blessings!
WOMAN TWO (Doulin)
Have you seen how the foreman is fuming today?
With his terrible breath and his wandering hands?
WOMAN THREE (Suzuno)
*stares* What am I doing here?
*Doulin shoves a script into her hands*
*reading, bewildered*
It's because little Fantine won't give him his way
WOMAN TWO (Doulin)
Take a look at his trousers; you'll see where he stands!
WOMAN FOUR (Takiko)
Aren't I supposed to be dead?
Why am I...?
*Doulin hands her a script as well*
And the boss, he never knows
That the foreman is always in heat
...What exactly is this?
WOMAN THREE (Suzuno)
*shrugs*
If Fantine doesn't look out
Watch how she goes
She'll be out on the street!
WORKERS
At the end of the day it's another day over
With enough in your pocket to last for a week
Pay the landlord, pay the shop
Keep on grafting as long as you're able
Keep on grafting till you drop
Or it's back to the crumbs off the table
You've got to pay your way
At the end of the day!
GIRL (Gyokuren) (politely taking a letter from Fantine)
An'...what have we here...li'le innocent sister?
Come on Fantine, lessave all the news!
(Reading the letter)
*haltingly, because she's not really good at reading*
Ooh... "Dear...Fantine...you mus' sen' us more...money...
Your...child needs a...a...a doctor...
There's no time to...lose..."
FANTINE (Koutoku)
Give that letter to me
It is none of your business
With a husband at home
And a bit on the side!
*stare* Wait, is she OLD enough to be married?
ENJOLRAS (Ryuuen)
Just say your lines!
FANTINE (Koutoku)
You don't come on till much later...
ENJOLRAS (Ryuuen)
I'm here to see if I can stalk Valjean
FANTINE (Koutoku)
......Oh...... *continues his part*
Is there anyone here
Who can swear before Suzaku
She has nothing to fear?
She has nothing to hide?
*pause*
The script says I'm to fight her, but I don't really wanna fight a little girl
ENJOLRAS (Ryuuen)
Then pretend!!
*They fall into some really fake fighting that is actually Ami tickling Gyokuren*
(Valjean (M. Madeleine) rushes on to break up the "squabble".)
VALJEAN (Saihitei)
Will someone...um...tear these two apart?
What is this...fighting all about?
This is a factory, not a circus!
Now, come on *cough* ladies, settle down
I run a business of repute
I am the Mayor of this town
(Turns to the foreman embedded in the wall)
AHHHHH!!! It's YOU again!!! You're stalking me!!
ENJOLRAS (Ryuuen)
Actually, I'M the one stalking you
VALJEAN (Saihitei)
Oh dear...look, I'm just gonna say my line!
(To Foreman)
I look to you to sort this out
And be as patient as you can-
(He runs back into the factory)
FOREMAN (Lanva - who has by now extracted himself from the wall)
Now someone say how this began!
GIRL (Gyokuren)
At the en' of the day
She's the one who began it!
There's a kid that she's hiding
In some little town
There's a man she has to pay
You can guess how she picks up the extra
You can bet she's earning her keep
Sleeping around
And the boss wouldn't like it!
I got it all right! And I didn't forget any lines...
But,
The boss wouldn't like what?
Is it wrong for Koutoku-san to sleep?
What's wrong with that?
FANTINE (Koutoku)
*buries his head in his hands*
ENJOLRAS (Ryuuen)
*cheerfully* Shoulda seen that coming as soon as ya cast her
Gyokuren's only 9 years or so
Or maybe she's 5 - wait, that's Yuiren
But she's young and innocent, ya know!
FANTINE (Koutoku)
You aren't supposed to be here!
ENJOLRAS (Ryuuen)
Why not, I'm the assistant director?
You need some help it's plain to see
We can recast the girl as Shouka
I'd forgotten she's here, cause she died, like me!
FANTINE (Koutoku)
Quit rhyming, monsieur! Please stop!
It's getting on my nerves
ENJOLRAS (Ryuuen)
That's quite easy, considering you're a wimpy little flute boy!
FANTINE (Koutoku)
Wimpy, am I? You got it coming,
You onnagata!
I'm just gonna say my lines, and save the darn thing
Since it's obvious that we're getting nowhere!
We'll settle this after the show!
*clears his throat and continues to sing*
Yes it's true there's a child
And the child is my daughter
And her father abandoned us
Leaving us flat
Now she lives with an innkeeper man
And his wife
And I pay for the child
What's the matter with that?
WOMEN
At the end of the day
She'll be nothing but trouble
And there's trouble for all
When there's trouble for one!
While we're earning our daily bread
She's the one with her hands in the butter
You must send the slut away
Or we're all gonna end in the gutter
And it's us who'll have to pay
At the end of the day!
FOREMAN (Lanva)
I might have known the bitch could bite
I might have known the cat had claws
I might have guessed your little secret
Ah yes, the virtuous Fantine
Who keeps herself so pure and clean
You'd be the cause I had no doubt
Of any trouble hereabout
You play a virgin in the light
But need no urgin' in the night.
FANTINE (Koutoku)
I BEG your pardon!
GIRL (Gyokuren)
She's been laughing at you
While she's having her men....
Whassat mean?
(Ryuuen runs onstage dragging a bemused Shouka behind him.)
ENJOLRAS (Ryuuen)
Here, I've got her, listen, Gyo-chan
You don't need to be here, you can go now
I've found someone to take your place
(Someone who can save the show)
You can leave now, you can go!
GIRL (Gyokuren)
Don't you want me to be in the play?
ENJOLRAS (Ryuuen)
Yes, but this part's not for you!
Shouka will play it instead
Be a good girl and we'll find you a role
(Maybe someone who won't end up dead)
GIRL (Gyokuren)
Okay
*wanders offstage, where Kishuku is waiting*
Kishuku: Hey, imouto! Whatcha doing here?
Gyokuren: I was playing a factory girl and I -
Kishuku: RYUUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEN!!!!! YOU CAST MY LITTLE SISTER AS WHAT???
Ryuuen: A factory girl, why?
Kishuku: You're going to pay, onnagata!
Ryuuen: *holds up photographs* Blaaaaaackmaiiiiilllll...
Kishuku: *pales* You have pictures of THAT!?!
Ryuuen: *gringrin*
Shouka: Ah, these men! We're never going to get anywhere! Start the music back up, Nyan-nyan; we'll do this play yet!
Nyan-nyan: *grabs a conductor's wand and strikes up the orchestra*
WOMEN
She'll be nothing but trouble again and again
WOMAN (Taiitsukun)
You must sack her today
FOREMAN (Lanva)
And while I'm at it, I'll sack you too.
You scare me!
(Taiitsukun pulls out a mallet and whacks Lanva into the sky)
WORKERS
*smirking at his fate*
Sack the girl today!
FOREMAN (Lanva's been replaced by...say...the werewolf...)
*barking*
TRANSLATOR MACHINE
Right my girl. On your way!
I Dreamed A Dream
(Fantine is left alone, unemployed and destitute)
(This song belongs to Korin)
(The background music fades into a flute and piano duet, playing the music for "I Dreamed A Dream". Koutoku, managing to look absolutely beautiful despite the fact that he's in drag, stands up on stage and begins to sing, his voice blending very well with the music)
FANTINE (Koutoku)
There was a time when men were kind
When their voices were soft
And their words inviting
There was a time when love was blind
And the world was a song
And the song was exciting
There was a time
Then it all went wrong
(A tear runs down his cheek as he begins to glow slightly)
I dreamed a dream in time gone by
When hope was high
And life worth living
I dreamed that love would never die
I dreamed that God would be forgiving
Then I was young and unafraid
And dreams were made and used and wasted
There was no ransom to be paid
No song unsung, no wine untested
(He kneels on the stage and raises his face toward the lights, and it becomes very obvious that he's crying. The music becomes softer so that his voice can be heard clearly and it is filled with emotion. The light coming from him shines brighter)
But the tigers come at night
With their voices soft as thunder
As they tear your hope apart
And they turn your dream to shame
(He wraps his arms around himself and stands)
He slept a summer by my side
He filled my days with endless wonder
He took my childhood in his stride
But he was gone when autumn came
(He reaches out a hand to someone who isn't there)
And still I dream he'll come to me
That we will live the years together
But there are dreams that cannot be
And there are storms we cannot weather
(His eyes stream tears as his voice rises, and he is almost blinding to look at because of the white light)
I had a dream my life would be
So different from this hell I'm living
(His voice rises to its pitch)
So different now from what it seemed
(He sings the last line really quietly, and the music fades to accent his words)
Now life has killed the dream I dreamed.
(The glow that came from him while he sang fades, and the Koutoku everyone knows walks offstage slowly as if in a trance. Shunkaku runs to meet him)
Shunkaku: Aniki, aniki, that was beautiful!
Koutoku: *quietly* Thanks, Shun. It was very hard to do
Shunkaku: Why? You're a natural at acting!
Koutoku: *sighs, and then tries to grin* Well, for one thing, I was playing a girl...
Genrou: ANGST!!! You k'so angst people!!!! Would you shut up?
Koutoku: Ah, gomen nasai, Gen-chan
Shunkaku: HOW DARE YOU CALL MY ANIKI A KUSO ANGST PERSON???? OMAE O KOROSUUUU!!
Genrou: *brandishes tessen* Lekka -
Shunkaku: *pulls out ryuuseisui* Iku -
Koutoku: *paralyses them with his flute* Quit fiiiiiiiiighting. It was fun to act, okay? But Gen-chan's right, it was angst. However, it was a wonderful part to play *eyes light up with the insane joy of angst*
Genrou: Um....right....Okama, what's next?
Ryuuen: *pouty face* We had to skip what would have gone here, because KoK-chan's okaa-san said that it wasn't right. She expressed her wishes that we not put this song in our play. Gees, parental restrictions!!
KoK: I knowww!! She said 'you can know it, but you can't sing or use it'. Therefore. The bits that go in here that were edited out involve Fantine, having no other means by which to support herself and pay for her child, becomes a prostitute. She is then arrested by Javert for a attacking some guy who tried to rape her or something. (So informed, ain't I?) Then Valjean rescues her. Then he goes out for a stroll.
Ryuuen: And we'll move right on to the Valjean piece that ensues! *drool* Heikaaaaaaaaa...
The Runaway Cart
(The crowd parts to reveal that a cart has crashed, trapping Monsieur Fauchelevant)
VOICES
Look at that!
Look at that!
It's Monsieur Fauchelevant!
Don't approach! Don't go near!
At the risk of your life!
He is caught by the wheel!
Oh, the pitiful man!
Stay away, Turn away!
There is nothing to do!
There is nothing to do!
VALJEAN (Saihitei)
Is there anyone here
Who will rescue the man?
Who will help me to shoulder
The weight of the cart?
I need another man, so that my robe
Won't get so dirty
VOICES
Don't go near him, Mr. Mayor
The load is heavy as hell
The old man's a goner for sure
It'll kill you as well.
(Valjean attempts to lift the cart... but fails. He tries again. They manage to pull Fauchelevant clear)
FAUCHELEVANT (Lanva)
M'sieur le Mayor, I have no words
You come from Byakko, you are a saint.
VALJEAN (Saihitei)
Ahhhhhhhh!! It's him!! He's after me!! Helllllllllllllllp!!! *moan*
(Javert takes Valjean aside)
JAVERT (Ayuru)
Calm down, Sir!
Can this be true?
I don't believe what I see!
A man your age
(Valjean looks very offended)
To be as strong as you are!
A memory stirs...
You make me think of a man
From years ago
A man who broke his parole
He disappeared
Forgive me, Sir,
I would not dare!
VALJEAN (Saihitei)
Say what you must
Don't leave it there...
JAVERT (Ayuru)
I have only known one other
Who can do what you have done
He's a convict from the chain gang
He's been ten years on the run
But he couldn't run forever
Stole a bottle of high-quality shampoo
Just for his dirty hair
We have found his hideaway
And he's just been re-arrested
And he comes to court today.
Well, of course he now denies it
You'd expect that of a `con'
But he couldn't run forever -
No, not even Jean Valjean!
He'll finally get the lice he deserves!
VALJEAN (Saihitei)
You say this man denies it all
And gives no sign of understanding or repentance?
You say this man is going to trial
And that's he's sure to be returned
To serve his sentence? *shudder*
Come to that, can you be sure,
That I am not your man?
I am beautiful
And truly care about my hair!
I also could be he of whom you speak!
JAVERT (Ayuru)
I have known the thief for ages
Tracked him down through thick and thin
And to make the matter certain
There's the brand upon his skin
He will bend, he will break
This time there is no mistake.
He'll get lice at last!
(Javert leaves. Valjean is alone)
Who Am I? - The Trial
VALJEAN (Saihitei)
He thinks that man is me
He knew him at a glance!
That stranger he has found
This man could be my chance!
Why should I save his hair?
Why should I right this wrong
When I have come so far
And struggled for so long?
If I speak, I am *gulp* condemned.
If I stay silent, I am damned!
I am the master of hundreds of workers.
They all look to me.
How can I abandon them?
How would they live
If I am not free?
How would the world keep turning without
My conditioner and me?
If I speak, I am *shudder* condemned.
If I stay silent, I am damned!
Who am I?
Can I condemn this man to lice-ery
Pretend I do not feel his agony
This innocent who bears my face
Who goes to judgement in my place
Who am I?
Can I conceal myself for evermore?
Pretend I'm not the man I was before?
And must my name until I die
Be no more than an alibi?
Must I lie?
How can I ever face my fellow men?
How can I ever face myself again?
My soul belongs to Suzaku, I know
I made that bargain long ago
He gave me hope when hope was gone
He gave me strength to journey on
(He appears in front of the court)
Who am I? Who am I?
I am Jean Valjean!
(He removes his shirt to reveal the number tattooed to his chest. The fangirls in the audience scream, drool, and faint. Ryuuen looks irritated, because he told them not to scream that loud)
And so Javert, you see it's true
That man bears no more guilt than you!
Who am I?
24601!
And I'm *convulsive shuddering* ready for my punishment
Fantine's Death
(Fantine is lying in a hospital bed, deliriously dreaming of her daughter Cosette)
(Koutoku grins happily at the realization that there'll be another angst piece, and begins to sing, carefully getting rid of the happiness in his voice)
FANTINE (Koutoku)
Cosette, it's turned so cold
Cosette, it's past your bedtime
You've played the day away
And soon it will be night.
Come to me, Cosette, the light is fading
Don't you see the evening star appearing?
Come to me, and rest against my shoulder
How fast the minutes fly away and every minute colder.
Hurry near, another day is dying
Don't you hear, the winter wind is crying?
There's a darkness which comes without a warning
But I will sing you lullabies and wake you in the morning.
(Valjean enters)
VALJEAN (Saihitei)
Oh, Fantine, our time is running out
But Fantine, I swear this on my life
FANTINE (Koutoku)
Look, M'sieur, where all the children play
VALJEAN (Saihitei)
Be at peace, be at peace evermore.
FANTINE (Koutoku)
My Cosette...
VALJEAN (Saihitei)
Shall live in my protection
FANTINE (Koutoku)
Take her now
VALJEAN (Saihitei)
Your child will want for nothing
FANTINE (Koutoku)
Good M'sieur, you come from Seiryuu-seikun.
VALJEAN (Saihitei)
And none shall ever harm Cosette
As long as I am living.
FANTINE (Koutoku)
Take my hand. The night grows ever colder.
VALJEAN (Saihitei)
Then I will keep you warm.
FANTINE (Koutoku)
Take my child. I give her to your keeping.
VAKJEAN (Saihitei)
Take shelter from the storm
FANTINE (Koutoku)
For God's sake, please stay till I am sleeping
And tell Cosette I love her
And I'll see her when I wake...
(She dies with a smile. Javert arrives)
(Ryuuen runs onstage quickly to Sai and Koutoku)
Ryuuen: You do it so great! I mean, you're practically the only people who can really do the serious songs seriously!! *places a rose in Koutoku's hands* You know something, flute boy, you're a good kid.
Koutoku: (in a fit of over-angst) I'm sorry for fighting with you, Ryuu-chan.
Ayuru: *taps foot impatiently* I have a song, people, I have a song...
Ryuuen: Oh shut up and let the angst birdies have their fun. *to Koutoku* Yeah, me too. Now you listen to me, Kou. You better win that scholarship to the music academy, you hear? *strangle-hugs him*
Koutoku: Got...it...Ryuu-chan, you're...strangling me...
Ryuuen: Oh, whoops!
Saihitei: What about me? You're supposed to like me, Ryuu-chan
Ryuuen: You too, Heika *glomp*
Ayuru: Hellllllllooooo, okama, we have a song!
Ryuuen: The term is onnagata, got it? Now go ahead, sing, since you're so bent on it!
The Confrontation
JAVERT (Ayuru)
Valjean, at last,
We see each other clear
`M'sieur le Mayor,'
Just look what I've got here!
*holds up jar of lice*
VALJEAN (Saihitei)
Before you say another word, Javert
Before you fill my hair with pestilence again
Listen to me! There is something I must do.
This...woman leaves behind a suffering child.
There is none but me who can intercede,
In Mercy's name, three days are all I need.
Then I'll return, I pledge my word.
Then I'll return...
JAVERT (Ayuru)
You must think me mad!
I've hunted you across the years
A man like you can never change
A man such as you.
VALJEAN (Saihitei) (in counterpoint)
Believe of me what you will
There is a duty that I'm sworn to do
You know nothing of my life
All I did was try to look nice
You know nothing of the world
You would sooner see me with lice
But not before I see this justice done
I am warning you Javert
I'm a stronger man by far
There is power in me yet
My race is not yet run
I am warning you Javert
There is nothing I won't dare
If I have to kill you here
I'll do what must be done!
JAVERT (Ayuru) (in counterpoint)
Men like you can never change
Men like you can never change
No,
24601
My duty's to the law - you have no Rights
Come with me 24601
Now the wheel has turned around
Jean Valjean is nothing now
Dare you talk to me of crime
And the price you had to pay
Every man is born in sin
Every man must choose his way
You know nothing of Javert
I was born inside a jail
I was born with lice like you
I am from that gutter too!
(Valjean breaks a chair and threatens Javert with the broken piece. Turns to Fantine)
VALJEAN (Saihitei)
(to Fantine) And this I swear to you tonight
JAVERT (Ayuru)
(to Valjean) There is no place for you to hide
VALJEAN (Saihitei)
Your child will live within my care
JAVERT (Ayuru)
Wherever you may hide away
VALJEAN (Saihitei)
And I will raise her to the (clean, lice-free) light.
VALJEAN AND JAVERT (Saihitei and Ayuru)
I swear to you, I will be there!
(They fight, Javert is knocked out. Valjean escapes)
Ryuuen: *offstage* You made a great dead body, flute boy!
Koutoku: *grin*
(Scene changes with Taiitsukun and Chuin effects)
Classroom On A Cloud
(Young Cosette is working as a drudge in the Thénardier's inn at Montfermeil)
YOUNG COSETTE (Douken)
There is a classroom on a cloud,
I like to go there in my sleep,
Aren't any floors for me to sweep,
Not in my classroom on a cloud.
There is a room that's full of books,
There are a hundred math teachers,
Nobody's ignorant or loud,
Not in my classroom on a cloud.
There is a lady all in white,
Holds me and sings all about pi,
She's nice to see and she's soft to touch,
She says "Cosette, I'll teach you very much."
I know a place where everyone loves algebra,
I know a place where no one hates school.
Hating school at all is not allowed,
Not in my classroom on a cloud.
Oh help! I think I hear them now,
And I'm nowhere near finished sweeping and
Scrubbing and polishing the floor.
Oh, it's him! It's Monsieur!
M. THENARDIER (Chuin)
Now look who's here
The little madam herself!
Pretending once again she's been `so awfully good,'
Better not let me catch you slacking
Better not catch my eye!
Ten rotten francs your mother sends me
What is that going to buy?
I'll never be able to afford any more face paint!
Now take that pail
My little `Mademoiselle'
And go and draw some water from the well!
Meanwhile, I must iron my
Chinese Opera clothing
We should never have taken you in in the first place
How stupid the things that we do!
Like mother like daughter, the scum of the street.
No fashion sense at all!
Eponine, come my dear, Eponine, let me see you
You look very well in that new little blue hat
Sets off your hair to an advantage
There's some little girls who know how to behave
And they know what to wear
And I'm saying thank heaven for that.
But please don't go and see that Gavroche boy again!
Shunkaku: *offstage* I killed you once, and I can do it again, Chuin!!
Chibi Yui AKA Young Eponine: *waves pompoms* Go Shunkaku, he's our man, if he can't do it, no one can!!
Shunkaku: *faints from shock* Yu...i...sa...ma...
M. THERNARDIER (Chuin)
*rolls eyes*
Stupid yoyo boy
*sees Douken*
Still there Cosette?
Your tears will do you no good!
I told you fetch some water from the well in the wood!
YOUNG COSETTE (Douken)
Please do not send me out alone
Not in the darkness on my own!
Not without even a textbook for protection
M. THENARDIER (Chuin)
Enough of that, or I'll forget to be nice!
You heard me ask for something,
And I never ask twice!
Instead I stick feathers into people!
(Young Eponine pushes Cosette out. M. Thénardier says good night to his daughter as the inn fills up for the evening)
Ryuuen: *makes more faces* We've been banned from Master of the House as well.
KoK: But that was my idea. I couldn't figure out what I was supposed to do for it. Besides I hate that song. At any rate, it's just the song about the inn. S'not that important. So we're skipping right to the Thénardier Waltz of Treachery.
Ryuuen: *mutter* I WANTED to parody that song. Gees.
The Thénardier Waltz of Treachery
M. THENARDIER (Chuin)
What to do? What to say?
Shall you carry our treasure away?
What a gem! What a pearl!
Beyond rubies is our little girl!
How can we speak of debt?
Let's not haggle for darling Colette!
VALJEAN (Saihitei)
CoSette!
M. THENARDIER (Chuin)
*coughs*
Dear Fantine, gone to rest...
Have we done for her child what is best?
Shared our clams. Shared each bone.
Treated her like she's one of our own!
Like our own, Monsieur!
VALJEAN (Saihitei)
Your feelings do you credit, sir
And I will ease the parting blow
(He pays them)
Let us not talk of bargains or bones or greed
Now, may I say, we are agreed?
MME. THENARDIER (Kaen)
That would quite fit the bill
If she hadn't so often been ill
Little dear, cost us dear
Medicines are expensive, M'sieur
Not that we begrudged a sou
It's no more than we *cough* good citizens must do!
M. & MME. THENARDIER (Chuin and Kaen)
One thing more, one small doubt
There are treacherous people about
No offence. Please reflect.
Your intentions may not be correct?
VALJEAN (Saihitei)
He - ck, I'm not a child molester!
*sigh* Good thing I'm the emperor and have a lot of money.
No more words. Here's your price.
Fifteen hundred for your sacrifice.
Come, Cosette, say goodbye
Let us seek out some friendlier sky.
Thank you both for Cosette
It won't take you too long to forget.
(Valjean and Cosette leave the inn)
Come, Cosette, come, my dear
From now on I will always be here
Where I go, you will be.
YOUNG COSETTE (Douken)
Will there be teachers and textbooks to see?
VALJEAN (Saihitei)
Yes, Cosette, yes, it's true.
There's a textbook just waiting for you.
VALJEAN & YOUNG COSETTE (Saihitei and Douken)
La la la la la...
Look Down
(1832. The teeming, squalid streets of Paris. Beggars, urchins, prostitutes, students, etc.)
BEGGARS
Look down and see the beggars at your feet
Look down and show some mercy if you can
Look down and see the sweepings of the street
Look down, look down,
Upon your fellow man!
GAVROCHE (Shunkaku)
'Ow do you do? My name's Gavroche.
These are my people. Here's my patch
Not much to look at, nothing posh
Nothing that you'd call up to scratch.
This is my school, my high society
Here in the slums of Saint Michele
We live on crumbs of humble piety
Tough on the teeth, but what the hell!
Think you're psycho?
Think you're free?
Follow me! Follow me!
BEGGARS
Look down and show some mercy if you can
Look down, look down, upon your fellow man!
(An old beggar woman finds a young prostitute occupying her pitch)
OLD BEGGAR WOMAN (Taiitsukun)
What you think yer at?
Hanging round me pitch?
If you're new around here, girl
You've got a lot to learn!
YOUNG PROSTITUTE (Doulin)
*makes faces at Taiitsukun*
Listen you old bat...
Crazy bloody witch...
'Least I give me customers
Some pleasure in return!
OLD BEGGAR WOMAN (Taiitsukun)
I know what you give!
Give 'em all the pox!
Spread around your poison
Till they end up in a box.
PIMP (Lanva)
Leave the poor old cow,
Move it, Madeleine.
She used to be no better
Till the clap got to her brain.
(Saihitei is having an apoplectic fit offstage. "It's HIM again!")
BEGGARS
When's it gonna end?
When we gonna live?
Something's gotta happen now or
Something's gonna give
It'll come, it'll come, it'll come
It'll come, it'll come, it'll come
ENJOLRAS (Ryuuen)
Where the leaders of the land?
Where are the swells who run this show?
MARIUS (Kishuku)
Only one man - and that's Lamarque
Speaks for these people here below.
BEGGARS
See our children fed
Help us in our shame
Something for a crust of bread
In Holy Seiryuu's name
URCHIN (Yuiren)
In Seiryuu's
Holy name.
AUDIENCE
AWWWWWWWWW!!!!!! *faint from the cuteness*
BEGGARS
In his name, in his name, in his name...
MARIUS (Kishuku)
That's me little sister! Ain't she adorable? You can buy her for 70 gold yen.
AUDIENCE
WHAT??? Sell your LITTLE SISTER?
MARIUS (Kishuku)
*from the corner off his eyes, catches Ryuuen's furious gestures and takes the hint*
Naw!!
*sweeps Yuiren into his arms*
I wasn't serious! My wren is worth more than gold
Or silver!
*thrusts her into Ryuuen's arms*
(Ryuuen in turn hands her offstage to Kourin.)
Ryuuen: Take care of her, okay? And convince her that Ghost-boy was lying when he said he'd sell her
Kourin: Okay. Now get out there, you've a line coming up
MARIUS (Kishuku)
Lamarque is ill and fading fast!
Won't last the week out, so they say.
ENJOLRAS (Ryuuen)
With all the anger in the land
How long before the judgement day?
Before we cut the fat ones down to size?
Before the barricades arise?
GAVROCHE (Shunkaku)
Watch out for old Thénardier
All of his family's on the make
Once ran a seafood joint down the way
Bit of a queer and no mistake
He's got a gang
The bleeding layabout
Even his daughter does her share
That's Eponine, she knows her way about
She's beautiful beyond compare
Yui: *offstage* How sweet! Thanks, Shun!
GAVROCHE (Shunkaku)
*winks*
Do we care?
Not a cuss
Long live us.
Long live us!
*throws himself offstage*
Shunkaku: Yui-sama! Hi!
Yui: Uh...hi, Shun...
Shunkaku: Would you like to go out with me? You can think about it during the play, and tell me afterwards, I could take you then!
Yui: Okay...
BEGGARS
Look down and show some mercy if you can
Look down, look down upon your fellow man!
Stars
JAVERT (Ayuru)
This song is so out of character for me
Why can't I ki blast the authoress?
ENJOLRAS (Ryuuen)
Because I'm assistant director
And I say no destroying the theatre
JAVERT (Ayuru)
I'll send my werewolf after you again
And see he kills you properly this time!
ENJOLRAS (Ryuuen)
Wall angel!
JAVERT (Ayuru)
What?
*WHAM*
*dizzily*
Ohhhhhhh
ENJOLRAS (Ryuuen)
Curses. Now we need someone to sing Stars
Hey!
HEIIIIIKAAAAA!!!!!
(Saihitei runs in)
Saihitei: Yes?
Ryuuen: We need a real handsome guy to sing Stars for us, and I was wondering -
Saihitei: If I would?
Ryuuen: Precisely, Heika. Just sing it all the way through. You have a gorgeous voice, so just sing!
Saihitei: *preens* All right!
JAVERT (Saihitei)
There, out in the darkness
A fugitive running
Fallen from grace
Fallen from grace
God be my witness
I never shall yield
Till we come face to face
Till we come face to face
He knows his way in the dark
Mine is the way of the Lice
And those who follow the path of the bugs
Will keep cons from looking nice
And if they fall
As Lucifer fell
The flame
The sword!
Lice
In your multitudes
Scarce to be counted
Filling the darkness
With order and light
You are the sentinels
Silent and sure
Keeping watch in the night
Keeping watch in the night
You know your place in the hair
You hold your course and your aim
And each in your season
Returns and returns
And is always the same
And if you die as others have died
You die in evil anti-lice shampoos!
And so it has been and so it is written
On the doorway to paradise
That those who falter and those who fall
Must pay the price!
Lord let me find him
That I may see him
Never look niiiice!
*growls to himself*
I will never rest
Till then
This I swear
This I swear by the lice!
Ryuuen: That Javert fellow has ISSUES!!!
(Saihitei walks offstage)
Saihitei: Was that what you wanted, Ryuuen?
Ryuuen: *gush* Perfect, Heika! You're a master!
Saihitei: Oh, well, I know...
Kishuku: And you're so modest, too.
Saihitei: Why thank you
Kishuku:......
GAVROCHE (Shunkaku)
That inspector thinks he's something
But it's me who runs this town!
And my theatre never closes
And the curtain's never down
Trust Gavroche, have no fear
Don't you worry, 'Nii-san dear,
You can always find me here!
(He flings himself offstage again)
Shunkaku: Aniki? 'Nii-san?
Koutoku: Yes, Shun?
Shunkaku: What's my next line, quick, tell me!
Koutoku: You're not out until...towards the end of this next song.
Shunkaku: My line, aniki, my line!
Koutoku: LISTEN!
Shunkaku: What? What?
Koutoku: That's your line!
Shunkaku: What is?
Koutoku: LISTEN!
Shunkaku: Listen to what, aniki?
Koutoku: That's it, I give up.... *sigh*
The ABC Cafe - Red and Black
(The ABC Café, where the students, led by Enjolras, meet to discuss their revolutionary plans)
COMBEFERRE (Emtato)
At Notre Dame the sections are prepared!
FEUILLY (Myoujuan)
At Rue de Bac they're straining at the leash!
*starry eyes* Leash makes me think of *gush* animals!!
ENJOLRAS (Ryuuen)
Knew we made a mistake letting someone who's half veterinarian
Into this play of ours
COURFEYRAC (Chamka)
Students, workers, everyone
There's a river on the run
Like the flowing of the tide
Paris coming to our side!
ENJOLRAS (Ryuuen)
The time is near
So near it's stirring the blood in their veins!
And yet beware
Don't let the sake go to your brains!
*glare* GEN-ROUUUUUUUU!!!!!
For the army we fight is a dangerous foe
With the men and the arms that we never can match
It is easy to sit here and swat 'em like flies
*evil grin* Genrou, come here, will ya?
But the National Guard will be harder to catch.
We need a sign
To rally the people
To call them to arms
To bring them in line!
*Genrou walks nervously over*
Ryuuen: Gen-chaaan, how do YOU think one swats a fly? Maybe like THIS!
*Genrou, still holding his sake cup, goes flying across the room into a wall*
*Ryuuen grins*
Ryuuen: Now, will we think twice before we keep drinking after we're told not to?
Genrou: *dizzily* Yeah...whatever you say...okama... *passes out, combination sake and Ryuuen*
(Marius enters, preventing further injuries on Genrou's part)
ENJOLRAS (Ryuuen)
Marius, you're late.
JOLY (Ryusaburo)
*undeterminable barking*
TRANSLATOR MACHINE
What's wrong today?
You look as if you've seen a ghost.
(Enter the REAL Joly.)
JOLY (Joly)
Oh. My. God.
What did you DO to my character???
ENJOLRAS (Ryuuen)
Cast a werewolf in the part.
Live with it, pal.
JOLY (Joly)
*sits down and sobs*
*sniffle*
.....Oh Lord, I've caught something!
*points an accusing finger*
I'm allergic to that...creature!!
BOSSUET!!!
*runs away screaming*
ENJOLRAS (Ryuuen)
Well then.
GRANTAIRE (Genrou)
*from the wall, sticks out a hand with a cup in it*
Some sake and say what's going on!
MARIUS (Kishuku)
A ghost you say... a ghost maybe
She was just like a ghost to me
One minute there, and she was gone!
GRANTAIRE (Genrou)
*cracks up, and fall out of the wall laughing*
I am agog!
I am aghast!
Is Marius seen love at last?
I've never heard him `ooh' and `aah'
You talk of battles to be won
And here he comes like Ry-uu-en
It's better than an o-per-a!
M. THENARDIER (Chuin)
Opera?
Mention you OPERA??
*jumps onto the stage and begins to enact a scene from a Chinese opera*
ENJOLRAS (Ryuuen)
*throws him and Genrou into the wall*
It is time for us all
To decide who we are
Do we fight for the right
To a night at the opera now?
M.THERARDIER (Chuin)
*weakly*
Opera! Yay!
ENJOLRAS (Ryuuen)
*glare*
Have you asked of yourselves
What's the price you might pay?
Is it simply a game
For rich young boys to play?
The colour of the world
Is changing day by day...
Red - the blood of angry men!
Black - the dark of ages past!
Red - a world about to dawn!
Black - the night that ends at last!
MARIUS (Kishuku)
*besotted sigh*
Had you been there tonight
You might know how it feels
To be struck to the bone
In a moment of breathless delight!
Had you been there tonight
You might also have known
How the world may be changed
In just one burst of light!
And what was right seems wrong
And what was wrong seems right!
GRANTAIRE (Genrou)
Red...the blood of
*WHAM*
MARIUS (Kishuku)
I feel my soul on fire!
COURFEYRAC (Chamka)
*sigh* Black...
MARIUS (Kishuku)
My world if she's not there!
ALL
Red...
MARIUS (Kishuku)
The colour of desire!
ALL
Black...
MARIUS (Kishuku)
The colour of despair!
ENJOLRAS (Ryuuen)
Marius, you're no longer a child
(Although I know what it's like to be a hopeless romantic)
I do not doubt you mean it well
But now there is a higher call.
Who cares about your lonely soul?
(Besides Miaka)
We strive toward a larger goal
Our little lives don't count at all!
GRANTAIRE (Genrou)
I don't wanna die!!!!
ENJOLRAS (Ryuuen)
Quiet, Fang-boy!
ALL
Red - the blood of angry men!
Black - the dark of ages past!
Red - a world about to dawn!
Black - the night that ends at last!
ENJOLRAS (Ryuuen)
Well, Courfeyrac, do we have all the guns?
Feuilly, Combeferre, our time is running short.
Grantaire, put the bottle down! Down! Down, I say! GENROUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!!!!
Do we have the guns we need?
GRANTAIRE (Genrou)
Give me sake on my breath
And I'll breathe them all to death!
COURFEYRAC (Chamka)
*grinning* Yeah, right, Gen
In St. Antoine they're with us to a man!
COMBEFERRE (Emtato)
*grinning as well* Well, I'd bet his breath's bad enough on its own
In Notre Dame they're tearing up the stones!
FEUILLY (Myoujuan)
*small smile* It is, trust me,
He wouldn't get out of my face the one time I tried to heal him
Twenty rifles good as new!
GRANTAIRE (Genrou)
*indignant protest*
I do not! I - you bloody healer!!
Ryuuuu-chan!!
ENJOLRAS (Ryuuen)
What? Quit whining
(Amid the chaos, Gavroche rushes in shouting)
GAVROCHE (Shunkaku)
Listen!
JOLY (Ryusaburo)
*barks*
TRANSLATING MACHINE
Twenty rounds for every man!
JOLY (Joly)
*depressed sniffles*
GAVROCHE (Shunkaku)
Listen to me!
PROUVAIRE (Midori)
Double that in Port St. Cloud!
GAVROCHE (Shunkaku)
Listen everybody!
LESGLES (Kasaru)
Seven guns in St. Martin!
GAVROCHE (Shunkaku)
Listen to me or I'll kill you too!!
*everyone ignores him*
GAHHHHH!!!!!!
General Lamarque is dead!
*immediate total silence*
ENJOLRAS (Ryuuen)
*grins like a maniac*
Lamarque is dead.
Lamarque! His death is the hour of fate.
The people's man.
His death is the sign we await!
On his funeral day they will honour his name.
It's a rallying cry that will reach every ear!
In the death of Lamarque we will kindle the flame
They will see that the day of salvation is near!
The time is near!
Let us welcome it gladly with courage and cheer
Let us take to the streets with no doubt in our hearts
But a jubilant shout
They will come one and all
They will come when we call!
GRANTAIRE (Genrou)
YEAH!!
Eep...
*cowers under Ryuuen's glare*
Do You Hear The People Sing?
ENJOLRAS (Ryuuen)
Do you hear the people sing?
Singing a song of angry men
Hey, what is it with the obsession with this phrase anyway?
It is the music of a people
Who will not be slaves again!
When the beating of your heart
Echoes the beating of the drums
There is a life about to start
When tomorrow comes!
COMBEFERRE (Emtato)
Will you join in our crusade?
Who will be strong and stand with me?
Beyond the barricade
Is there a world you long to see?
Hey, I resent that quote; I'm blind in one eye!
COURFEYRAC (Chamka)
'Nii-chan, quit grousing!
Then join in the fight
That will give you the right to be free!
COMBEFERRE (Emtato)
*raises an eyebrow*
Grousing? Where'd you pick that one up, otouto?
ALL
Do you hear the people sing?
Singing a song of angry men?
Ryuuen: Angry men again! What is with it?
ALL
It is the music of a people
Who will not be slaves again!
When the beating of your heart
Echoes the beating of the drums
There is a life about to start
When tomorrow comes!
FEUILLY (Myoujuan)
*looks heroic*
(Everyone falls over at Myoujuan looking heroic)
Will you give all you can give
So that our banner may advance?
Some will fall and some will live
Will you stand up and take your chance?
The blood of the martyrs
Will water the meadows of France!
ALL
We don't live in France!
FEUILLY (Myoujuan)
For the sake of rhyme!
FEUILLY (Feuilly)
FORGET FRANCE!! LET'S ALL MOVE TO POLAND!!
(He is subdued by the security Nyan-nyans)
ALL
Do you hear the people sing?
Singing a song of angry men?
Ryuuen: It's those darned -
ALL
Don't say it!!!
It is the music of a people
Who will not be slaves again!
When the beating of your heart
Echoes the beating of the drums
There is a life about to start
When tomorrow comes!
ENJOLRAS (Ryuuen)
INTERMISSION!!! FOOD, EVERYBODY!!!
(Miaka runs everybody down in a mad rush for the food tables)
FEUILLY (Myoujuan)
Anyone who needs to be healed, come to me, I'll fix you up.
(People troop over to be healed)
FANTINE (Koutoku)
*drags himself over to Myoujuan*
I've a broken leg, Juan-chan...
*puts his head in his hands again*
Why me? Why me?
ENJOLRAS (Ryuuen)
You're such a sweet chap, Kou.
GAVROCHE (Shunkaku)
SOMEBODY HURT ANIKIIIIIIIII!!!!!!!!!
FANTINE (Koutoku)
It's okay, Shun! Just got my leg broken by a mad shark during a feeding frenzy
GAVROCHE (Shunkaku)
.........
I thought sharks couldn't go on dry land...
FANTINE (Koutoku)
*cries*
In this, KoK and Korin teamed up, although Korin only came in at the end. She has no entrances in this fic. It's kind of hard to make a tragedy into a comedy, so this is a combination. Hence the humour/angst classification. Also, please note, this is based off the musical, not the book. In the book, Eponine and Gavroche were related, but there is no sign of this in the musical. So it's not intended to be incest. Thanks!
OK!!! For this parody I was having fun. I would have loved to make a reincarnation, but I realized after many hopeless attempts that it would never work. So. I decided to have it just be the characters putting on a play. Doesn't matter how, or when, or where. But they're all being called names which are not their seishi names, hence the guide below, explaining who's who. (I don't like their seishi names half as well as their other names)
Miaka: Miaka
Yui: Yui
Tamahome: Kishuku
Hotohori: Saihitei
Nuriko: Ryuuen
Tasuki: Genrou
Chichiri: Houjun
Chiriko: Douken
Mitsukake: Myoujuan
Amiboshi: Koutoku
Suboshi: Shunkaku
Nakago: Ayuru
Tomo: Chuin
Soi: Kaen
Tomite: Chamka
Hikitsu: Emtato
Tokaki: Lanva
Subaru: Doulin
Miboshi: Midori
Ashitare: Ryusaburo
Tatara: Kasaru
Shouka, Kouran, Kourin, Suzuno, Takiko are all here too, in the play, sadly. Gyokuren, Yuiren, Chuei, and Shunkei are all here also.
Taiitsukun and Nyan-nyan are here...because they needed to help some poor pathetic authoress put on a play and decided to come!!
Onnagata means "woman impersonator".
Heika means "his highness" or "your highness"
Cast List: A Fushigi Yuugi Les Miserables ~ I have my reasons for every character. No one may argue.
Valjean: Saihitei (Because Waen said that Koutoku would not be a good Valjean) ~ A convict who stole a bottle of shampoo
Javert: Ayuru (BECAUSE AYURU WITH SIDEBURNS IS TO DIE FOR!!!!) ~ The officer determined to give him lice - no matter what!
Cosette: Miaka (Miaka and Kishuku, Cosette and Marius, hello?) ~ Valjean's adopted daughter
Marius: Kishuku (See above) ~ A young student rebel in love with Cosette
Eponine: Yui (It's the Fushigi Yuugi triangle!!) ~ The daughter of Thénardier, who is supposed to be in love with Marius, but actually finds that she'd like to bestow her affections on Gavroche (Hey this is Shunkaku/Yui ya know!)
Gavroche: Shunkaku (Swearing problems. And try picturing Shun as Gavvy. HA!) ~ A young beggar with attitude
Monsieur Thénardier: Chuin (The Thénardiers not fond of one another) ~ A crooked innkeeper
Madam Thénardier: Kaen (You have to know Mm Thénardier to get this - it will become clear) ~ His wife, who also has severe swearing problems. In fact, Genrou would have made a good Mm Thénardier. Oh well, don't care.
Fantine: Koutoku (Innocents to begin with they both were) ~ A young woman abandoned by the man she loved, then discovered she was pregnant. She was Cosette's mother
Bishop of Digne: Houjun (HELLLOOOOO!!! Holy people!!) ~ A bishop who took Valjean in and changed his life drastically
Enjolras: Ryuuen (Enjolras beats up on Grantaire) ~ The leader of the rebelling students
Grantaire: Genrou (Both alcoholics) ~ Enjolras' "pal" (AKA useful thing to hit when he's stressed out)
Young Cosette: Douken (True innocents. Besides, they're both cutely pathetic *makes face*) ~ Cosette as a small girl
Students:
Combeferre: Emtato
Courfeyrac: Chamka
Feuilly: Myoujuan
Prouvaire: Midori
Lesgles: Kasaru
Joly: Ryusaburo
My PROFUSE apologies to the real students, because I had not read the book when I wrote this, and did not really cast them in correct parts. *blush* Sorry... Some of the students WILL be making appearances...
*grin* Replacements, and other Extras: The FY members not covered - such as Doulin, Taiitsukun, blah blah blah...
Extra, extra, read all about it! Enjolras is stalking Valjean! And that same peaceful man (Valjean) wants the death of Marius!! Eponine is in love with Gavroche, and Eponine and Marius hate each other's guts!!
(Setting: A stage, somewhere in Yuugi Broadway. The theatre is packed)
(Ryuuen walks onstage)
Ryuuen: We are proud to welcome you to our production of Les Miserables. I am Ryuuen Chou, and I play Enjolras in the following show. I am also the assistant director, while KoK *KoK walks onstage and bows* is our director. We would like to dedicate this to Victor Hugo, my girlfriend Taira - *waves* Hi Taira, ya out there? - and also to Sai, and Koutoku. *wink* Those last two are courtesy KoK and me. And Taira, don't look so sad. I'm bi, remember? *grin* There will be one intermission. We ask that any fangirls in the audience not scream too loudly when Sai takes off his shirt. And here we are at...PART ONE!! This is the first half, in which you are introduced to half the main characters. And now....TO BEGIN!!
(Curtain rises)
(Music starts)
Work Song / Look Down
PRISONERS
Look down, look down
Don't look 'em in the eye
Look down, look down,
You're here until you die
CONVICT ONE (Emtato)
The sun is strong
It's hot as hell below
I live in northern climates!!
PRISONER
Look down, look down,
There's twenty years to go
And quit whining, eyepatch boy!
CONVICT TWO (Kasaru)
I've done no wrong!
Dear Byakko, hear my prayer!
My seeds are dying!
PRISONERS
Look down look down,
Dear Byakko doesn't care
Especially not about your accursed plants
CONVICT THREE (Chamka)
I know she'll wait,
I know that she'll be true!
I protected Takiko for years!
PRISONERS
Look down, look down,
They've all forgotten you
Besides which, Takiko is dead
CONVICT FOUR (Lanva)
When I get free ya won't see me
Here for dust!
I'll be too busy chasing after girls!
PRISONERS
Look down, look down
Don't look 'em in the eye
And who would want a guy with numbers tattooed on his chest?
CONVICT FIVE (Midori)
How long, oh Lord
Before you let me die?
Or at lease give me my rattle back!
PRISONERS
Look down, look down,
You'll always be a slave
Look down, look down,
You're standing in your grave
And you're an evil baby!
JAVERT (Ayuru)
Now bring me prisoner 24601
Your time is up
And your parole's begun
You know what that means.
VALJEAN (Saihitei)
Yes, it means I'm free.
Free to take a shower again!
And perm my hair
And be pampered
And-
JAVERT (Ayuru)
No!
It means you get
Your yellow ticket-of-leave
You are a thief
You are too vain for your own good
VALJEAN (Saihitei)
I stole a bottle of shampoo.
JAVERT (Ayuru)
You robbed a house.
VALJEAN (Saihitei)
I broke a windowpane.
My hair was close to death
And I had lice!
JAVERT (Ayuru)
You will have lice forever
Unless you learn the meaning of the law.
VALJEAN (Saihitei)
I know the meaning of those 19 years
A slave of the law
JAVERT (Ayuru)
Five years for what you did
The rest because you tried to run
Yes, 24601.
VALJEAN (Saihitei)
My name is Jean Valjean the Clean
JAVERT (Ayuru)
And I am Javert the Lice-Breeder!
Do not forget my name!
Do not forget me,
24601.
*to himself*
Valjean the Clean, huh. I'll see him with lice yet!!
PRISONERS
Look down, look down
You'll always be a slave
Look down, look down
You're standing in your grave.
VALJEAN (Saihitei)
Freedom is mine. The earth is still.
I feel the wind. I breathe again.
And the sky clears
The world is waking.
Drink from the pool. How clean the taste.
I can wash!!
Never forget the years, the waste.
Nor forgive them
For what they've done.
They are the guilty - everyone.
My poor hair!
My beautiful body!
A victim of those years of uncleanliness!
The day begins...
And now let's see
What this new world
Will do for me!
Maybe I'll make my own brand of conditioner!
(He finds work in a hair-care products factory)
MANAGER (Kasaru)
You'll have to go
I'll pay you off for the day
Collect your bits and pieces there
And be on your way.
VALJEAN (Saihitei)
You show up everywhere, don't you?
Anyway
You have given me half
What the other men get!
This handful of tin
Wouldn't buy my sweat!
Not that I have any
I am perfectly clean
LABORER (Lanva)
You broke the law
It's there for people to see
Why should you get the same
As honest men like me?
VALJEAN (Saihitei)
You're here too!! You were in prison with me!
LABORER (Lanva)
I'm an extra. I do odd jobs. I'm also honest
VALJEAN (Saihitei)
Now every door is closed to me
Another jail. Another key. Another chain
For when I come to any town
They check my papers
And they find the mark of Cain
In their eyes I see their fear
`We do not want you here.'
I'll never be able to make my own brand of conditioner!!
*breaks down sobbing*
(He comes to an inn)
INKEEPER'S WIFE (Doulin)
My rooms are full
And I've no supper to spare
I'd like to help a stranger
All we want is to be fair
VALJEAN (Saihitei)
I will pay in advance
I can sleep in a barn
You see how dark it is
I'm not some kind of dog!
INNKEEPER (Lanva)
You leave my house
Or feel the weight of my rod
We're law-abiding people here
Thanks be to Byakko.
VALJEAN (Saihitei)
AHHHHH!!!! You again! You're everywhere!!
INKEEPER (Lanva)
Yup. He's crazy.
(They throw him out of the inn)
VALJEAN (Saihitei)
And now I know how freedom feels
The jailer always at your heels
It is the law!
This piece of paper in my hand
That makes me cursed throughout the land
It is the law!
Like a cur
I walk the street,
The dirt beneath their feet.
Without even a hot shower!
The world is cruel!
(He sits down despairingly outside a house from which emerges the Bishop of Digne.)
BISHOP (Houjun)
Come in, Sir, for you are weary,
And the night is cold out there no da!
Though our lives are very humble
What we have, we have to share no da!
There is wine here to revive you no da!
Genrou agrees too na no da
There is bread to make you strong,
There's a bed to rest till morning,
Rest from pain, and rest from wrong no da!
I'll even give you a bath na no da
VALJEAN (Saihitei)
He let me have a lovely shower
He let me use as much water as I wanted
The shampoo in my hand
Cost twice what I had earned
In all those nineteen years -
That lifetime of despair
And yet he trusted me.
The old fool trusted me -
He'd done his bit of good
I played the grateful serf
And thanked him like I should
But when the house was still,
I got up in the night.
Took the shampoo!
Took my flight!
(Taking the bottles of shampoo, he runs off, but is brought back by two constables.)
Valjean Arrested, Valjean Forgiven
CONSTABLE ONE (Ryusaburo)
*barks*
TRANSLATING MACHINE
Tell his reverence your story
CONSTABLE TWO (Midori)
Let us see if he's impressed
CONSTABLE ONE (Ryusaburo)
*barks*
TRANSLATING MACHINE
You were lodging here last night
CONSTABLE TWO (Midori)
You were the honest Bishop's guest.
CONSTABLE ONE (Ryusaburo)
*barks*
TRANSLATING MACHINE
And then, out of Taikyoku-zan goodness
CONSTABLE TWO (Midori)
When he learned about your plight
CONSTABLE ONE (Ryusaburo)
*barks*
TRANSLATING MACHINE
You maintain he made a present of this shampoo.
BISHOP (Houjun)
That is right no da
But my friend you left so early
Surely something slipped your mind no da
(The bishop gives Valjean two silver hairbrushes)
You forgot I gave these also
Would you leave the best behind no da?
So, Messieurs, you may release him
For this man has spoken true no da!
I commend you for your duty
Suzaku's blessings go with you no da
(Constables leave. The bishop addresses Valjean)
But remember this, my brother:
See in this some higher plan no da
You must use this precious silver
To become an honest man no da
By the witness of the Nyan-nyans,
By the kasa and shakujo,
I have raised you out of darkness no da!
I have bought your soul for Suzaku no da!
Houjun: Bye, Heika no da!! Come back later and I'll organize the army with you no da!
Saihitei: Thanks, Houjun. These are lovely hairbrushes too...
Houjun: Glad you like them no da! See ya soon no da!
Saihitei: Note to self. Find a way to get Houjun to drop the no da...
What Have I Done? (Valjean's Soliloquy)
VALJEAN (Saihitei)
What have I done?
Sweet Suzaku, what have I done?
Become a thief in the night,
Become a dog on the run
And have I fallen so far,
And is the hour so late
That nothing remains but the cry of my hate,
The cries in the dark that nobody hears,
Here where I stand at the turning of the years?
If there's another way to go
I missed it twenty long years ago
My life was a war that could never be won
They gave me a number and murdered Valjean
When they chained me and left me in goo
Just for stealing a jar of shampoo
Yet why did I allow that man
To touch my soul and teach me love?
He treated me like any other
He gave me his trust
He called me brother
My life he claims for Suzaku
Can such things be?
For I had come to hate the world
This world that always hated me
Made me unclean!
Broke my heart as it ruined my hair!
Take a hair for a hair!
Turn your heart into soap!
This is all I have lived for!
This is all I have known!
One word from him and I'd be back
Hair full of lice, too many to smack
Instead he offers me my cleanliness
I feel my shame inside me like a knife
He told me that I have a soul,
How does he know?
What spirit comes to move my life?
Is there another way to go?
I am reaching, but I fall
And the night is closing in
And I stare into the void
To the whirlpool of my sin
I'll escape now from the world
From the world of Jean Valjean
Jean Valjean is nothing now
Another (clean) story must begin!
(He tears up his yellow ticket-of-leave)
At The End Of The Day
(1823, Montreuil-sur-Mer. Outside the hair-care products factory owned by the Mayor, Monsieur Madeleine (Jean Valjean in disguise).)
THE POOR
At the end of the day you're another day older
And that's all you can say for the life of the poor
It's a struggle, it's a war
And there's nothing that anyone's giving
One more day standing about, what is it for?
One day less to be living.
At the end of the day you're another day colder
And the shirt on your back doesn't keep out the chill
And the righteous hurry past
They don't hear the little ones crying
And the winter is coming on fast, ready to kill
One day nearer to dying!
At the end of the day there's another day dawning
And the sun in the morning is waiting to rise
Like the waves crash on the sand
Like a storm that'll break any second
There's a hunger in the land
There's a reckoning still to be reckoned and
There's gonna be hell to pay
At the end of the day!
(The foreman and workers, including Fantine, emerge from the factory)
FOREMAN (Lanva)
At the end of the day you get nothing for nothing
Sitting flat on your butt doesn't buy any bread
*looks at Fantine* Cute one though
ENJOLRAS (Ryuuen)
Lanvaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!! *punches him into the wall*
Next time do it right!
He's a boy wearing girl's clothes anyway!
Kinda like me
Except I do it all the time.
Had to make exceptions for the play
WORKER ONE (Myoujuan)
There are children back at home
WORKERS ONE AND TWO (Myoujuan and Kasaru)
And the children have got to be fed
WORKER TWO (Kasaru)
And you're lucky to be in a job
WOMAN (Taiitsukun)
And you're not dead!
WORKERS
And we're counting our blessings!
WOMAN TWO (Doulin)
Have you seen how the foreman is fuming today?
With his terrible breath and his wandering hands?
WOMAN THREE (Suzuno)
*stares* What am I doing here?
*Doulin shoves a script into her hands*
*reading, bewildered*
It's because little Fantine won't give him his way
WOMAN TWO (Doulin)
Take a look at his trousers; you'll see where he stands!
WOMAN FOUR (Takiko)
Aren't I supposed to be dead?
Why am I...?
*Doulin hands her a script as well*
And the boss, he never knows
That the foreman is always in heat
...What exactly is this?
WOMAN THREE (Suzuno)
*shrugs*
If Fantine doesn't look out
Watch how she goes
She'll be out on the street!
WORKERS
At the end of the day it's another day over
With enough in your pocket to last for a week
Pay the landlord, pay the shop
Keep on grafting as long as you're able
Keep on grafting till you drop
Or it's back to the crumbs off the table
You've got to pay your way
At the end of the day!
GIRL (Gyokuren) (politely taking a letter from Fantine)
An'...what have we here...li'le innocent sister?
Come on Fantine, lessave all the news!
(Reading the letter)
*haltingly, because she's not really good at reading*
Ooh... "Dear...Fantine...you mus' sen' us more...money...
Your...child needs a...a...a doctor...
There's no time to...lose..."
FANTINE (Koutoku)
Give that letter to me
It is none of your business
With a husband at home
And a bit on the side!
*stare* Wait, is she OLD enough to be married?
ENJOLRAS (Ryuuen)
Just say your lines!
FANTINE (Koutoku)
You don't come on till much later...
ENJOLRAS (Ryuuen)
I'm here to see if I can stalk Valjean
FANTINE (Koutoku)
......Oh...... *continues his part*
Is there anyone here
Who can swear before Suzaku
She has nothing to fear?
She has nothing to hide?
*pause*
The script says I'm to fight her, but I don't really wanna fight a little girl
ENJOLRAS (Ryuuen)
Then pretend!!
*They fall into some really fake fighting that is actually Ami tickling Gyokuren*
(Valjean (M. Madeleine) rushes on to break up the "squabble".)
VALJEAN (Saihitei)
Will someone...um...tear these two apart?
What is this...fighting all about?
This is a factory, not a circus!
Now, come on *cough* ladies, settle down
I run a business of repute
I am the Mayor of this town
(Turns to the foreman embedded in the wall)
AHHHHH!!! It's YOU again!!! You're stalking me!!
ENJOLRAS (Ryuuen)
Actually, I'M the one stalking you
VALJEAN (Saihitei)
Oh dear...look, I'm just gonna say my line!
(To Foreman)
I look to you to sort this out
And be as patient as you can-
(He runs back into the factory)
FOREMAN (Lanva - who has by now extracted himself from the wall)
Now someone say how this began!
GIRL (Gyokuren)
At the en' of the day
She's the one who began it!
There's a kid that she's hiding
In some little town
There's a man she has to pay
You can guess how she picks up the extra
You can bet she's earning her keep
Sleeping around
And the boss wouldn't like it!
I got it all right! And I didn't forget any lines...
But,
The boss wouldn't like what?
Is it wrong for Koutoku-san to sleep?
What's wrong with that?
FANTINE (Koutoku)
*buries his head in his hands*
ENJOLRAS (Ryuuen)
*cheerfully* Shoulda seen that coming as soon as ya cast her
Gyokuren's only 9 years or so
Or maybe she's 5 - wait, that's Yuiren
But she's young and innocent, ya know!
FANTINE (Koutoku)
You aren't supposed to be here!
ENJOLRAS (Ryuuen)
Why not, I'm the assistant director?
You need some help it's plain to see
We can recast the girl as Shouka
I'd forgotten she's here, cause she died, like me!
FANTINE (Koutoku)
Quit rhyming, monsieur! Please stop!
It's getting on my nerves
ENJOLRAS (Ryuuen)
That's quite easy, considering you're a wimpy little flute boy!
FANTINE (Koutoku)
Wimpy, am I? You got it coming,
You onnagata!
I'm just gonna say my lines, and save the darn thing
Since it's obvious that we're getting nowhere!
We'll settle this after the show!
*clears his throat and continues to sing*
Yes it's true there's a child
And the child is my daughter
And her father abandoned us
Leaving us flat
Now she lives with an innkeeper man
And his wife
And I pay for the child
What's the matter with that?
WOMEN
At the end of the day
She'll be nothing but trouble
And there's trouble for all
When there's trouble for one!
While we're earning our daily bread
She's the one with her hands in the butter
You must send the slut away
Or we're all gonna end in the gutter
And it's us who'll have to pay
At the end of the day!
FOREMAN (Lanva)
I might have known the bitch could bite
I might have known the cat had claws
I might have guessed your little secret
Ah yes, the virtuous Fantine
Who keeps herself so pure and clean
You'd be the cause I had no doubt
Of any trouble hereabout
You play a virgin in the light
But need no urgin' in the night.
FANTINE (Koutoku)
I BEG your pardon!
GIRL (Gyokuren)
She's been laughing at you
While she's having her men....
Whassat mean?
(Ryuuen runs onstage dragging a bemused Shouka behind him.)
ENJOLRAS (Ryuuen)
Here, I've got her, listen, Gyo-chan
You don't need to be here, you can go now
I've found someone to take your place
(Someone who can save the show)
You can leave now, you can go!
GIRL (Gyokuren)
Don't you want me to be in the play?
ENJOLRAS (Ryuuen)
Yes, but this part's not for you!
Shouka will play it instead
Be a good girl and we'll find you a role
(Maybe someone who won't end up dead)
GIRL (Gyokuren)
Okay
*wanders offstage, where Kishuku is waiting*
Kishuku: Hey, imouto! Whatcha doing here?
Gyokuren: I was playing a factory girl and I -
Kishuku: RYUUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEN!!!!! YOU CAST MY LITTLE SISTER AS WHAT???
Ryuuen: A factory girl, why?
Kishuku: You're going to pay, onnagata!
Ryuuen: *holds up photographs* Blaaaaaackmaiiiiilllll...
Kishuku: *pales* You have pictures of THAT!?!
Ryuuen: *gringrin*
Shouka: Ah, these men! We're never going to get anywhere! Start the music back up, Nyan-nyan; we'll do this play yet!
Nyan-nyan: *grabs a conductor's wand and strikes up the orchestra*
WOMEN
She'll be nothing but trouble again and again
WOMAN (Taiitsukun)
You must sack her today
FOREMAN (Lanva)
And while I'm at it, I'll sack you too.
You scare me!
(Taiitsukun pulls out a mallet and whacks Lanva into the sky)
WORKERS
*smirking at his fate*
Sack the girl today!
FOREMAN (Lanva's been replaced by...say...the werewolf...)
*barking*
TRANSLATOR MACHINE
Right my girl. On your way!
I Dreamed A Dream
(Fantine is left alone, unemployed and destitute)
(This song belongs to Korin)
(The background music fades into a flute and piano duet, playing the music for "I Dreamed A Dream". Koutoku, managing to look absolutely beautiful despite the fact that he's in drag, stands up on stage and begins to sing, his voice blending very well with the music)
FANTINE (Koutoku)
There was a time when men were kind
When their voices were soft
And their words inviting
There was a time when love was blind
And the world was a song
And the song was exciting
There was a time
Then it all went wrong
(A tear runs down his cheek as he begins to glow slightly)
I dreamed a dream in time gone by
When hope was high
And life worth living
I dreamed that love would never die
I dreamed that God would be forgiving
Then I was young and unafraid
And dreams were made and used and wasted
There was no ransom to be paid
No song unsung, no wine untested
(He kneels on the stage and raises his face toward the lights, and it becomes very obvious that he's crying. The music becomes softer so that his voice can be heard clearly and it is filled with emotion. The light coming from him shines brighter)
But the tigers come at night
With their voices soft as thunder
As they tear your hope apart
And they turn your dream to shame
(He wraps his arms around himself and stands)
He slept a summer by my side
He filled my days with endless wonder
He took my childhood in his stride
But he was gone when autumn came
(He reaches out a hand to someone who isn't there)
And still I dream he'll come to me
That we will live the years together
But there are dreams that cannot be
And there are storms we cannot weather
(His eyes stream tears as his voice rises, and he is almost blinding to look at because of the white light)
I had a dream my life would be
So different from this hell I'm living
(His voice rises to its pitch)
So different now from what it seemed
(He sings the last line really quietly, and the music fades to accent his words)
Now life has killed the dream I dreamed.
(The glow that came from him while he sang fades, and the Koutoku everyone knows walks offstage slowly as if in a trance. Shunkaku runs to meet him)
Shunkaku: Aniki, aniki, that was beautiful!
Koutoku: *quietly* Thanks, Shun. It was very hard to do
Shunkaku: Why? You're a natural at acting!
Koutoku: *sighs, and then tries to grin* Well, for one thing, I was playing a girl...
Genrou: ANGST!!! You k'so angst people!!!! Would you shut up?
Koutoku: Ah, gomen nasai, Gen-chan
Shunkaku: HOW DARE YOU CALL MY ANIKI A KUSO ANGST PERSON???? OMAE O KOROSUUUU!!
Genrou: *brandishes tessen* Lekka -
Shunkaku: *pulls out ryuuseisui* Iku -
Koutoku: *paralyses them with his flute* Quit fiiiiiiiiighting. It was fun to act, okay? But Gen-chan's right, it was angst. However, it was a wonderful part to play *eyes light up with the insane joy of angst*
Genrou: Um....right....Okama, what's next?
Ryuuen: *pouty face* We had to skip what would have gone here, because KoK-chan's okaa-san said that it wasn't right. She expressed her wishes that we not put this song in our play. Gees, parental restrictions!!
KoK: I knowww!! She said 'you can know it, but you can't sing or use it'. Therefore. The bits that go in here that were edited out involve Fantine, having no other means by which to support herself and pay for her child, becomes a prostitute. She is then arrested by Javert for a attacking some guy who tried to rape her or something. (So informed, ain't I?) Then Valjean rescues her. Then he goes out for a stroll.
Ryuuen: And we'll move right on to the Valjean piece that ensues! *drool* Heikaaaaaaaaa...
The Runaway Cart
(The crowd parts to reveal that a cart has crashed, trapping Monsieur Fauchelevant)
VOICES
Look at that!
Look at that!
It's Monsieur Fauchelevant!
Don't approach! Don't go near!
At the risk of your life!
He is caught by the wheel!
Oh, the pitiful man!
Stay away, Turn away!
There is nothing to do!
There is nothing to do!
VALJEAN (Saihitei)
Is there anyone here
Who will rescue the man?
Who will help me to shoulder
The weight of the cart?
I need another man, so that my robe
Won't get so dirty
VOICES
Don't go near him, Mr. Mayor
The load is heavy as hell
The old man's a goner for sure
It'll kill you as well.
(Valjean attempts to lift the cart... but fails. He tries again. They manage to pull Fauchelevant clear)
FAUCHELEVANT (Lanva)
M'sieur le Mayor, I have no words
You come from Byakko, you are a saint.
VALJEAN (Saihitei)
Ahhhhhhhh!! It's him!! He's after me!! Helllllllllllllllp!!! *moan*
(Javert takes Valjean aside)
JAVERT (Ayuru)
Calm down, Sir!
Can this be true?
I don't believe what I see!
A man your age
(Valjean looks very offended)
To be as strong as you are!
A memory stirs...
You make me think of a man
From years ago
A man who broke his parole
He disappeared
Forgive me, Sir,
I would not dare!
VALJEAN (Saihitei)
Say what you must
Don't leave it there...
JAVERT (Ayuru)
I have only known one other
Who can do what you have done
He's a convict from the chain gang
He's been ten years on the run
But he couldn't run forever
Stole a bottle of high-quality shampoo
Just for his dirty hair
We have found his hideaway
And he's just been re-arrested
And he comes to court today.
Well, of course he now denies it
You'd expect that of a `con'
But he couldn't run forever -
No, not even Jean Valjean!
He'll finally get the lice he deserves!
VALJEAN (Saihitei)
You say this man denies it all
And gives no sign of understanding or repentance?
You say this man is going to trial
And that's he's sure to be returned
To serve his sentence? *shudder*
Come to that, can you be sure,
That I am not your man?
I am beautiful
And truly care about my hair!
I also could be he of whom you speak!
JAVERT (Ayuru)
I have known the thief for ages
Tracked him down through thick and thin
And to make the matter certain
There's the brand upon his skin
He will bend, he will break
This time there is no mistake.
He'll get lice at last!
(Javert leaves. Valjean is alone)
Who Am I? - The Trial
VALJEAN (Saihitei)
He thinks that man is me
He knew him at a glance!
That stranger he has found
This man could be my chance!
Why should I save his hair?
Why should I right this wrong
When I have come so far
And struggled for so long?
If I speak, I am *gulp* condemned.
If I stay silent, I am damned!
I am the master of hundreds of workers.
They all look to me.
How can I abandon them?
How would they live
If I am not free?
How would the world keep turning without
My conditioner and me?
If I speak, I am *shudder* condemned.
If I stay silent, I am damned!
Who am I?
Can I condemn this man to lice-ery
Pretend I do not feel his agony
This innocent who bears my face
Who goes to judgement in my place
Who am I?
Can I conceal myself for evermore?
Pretend I'm not the man I was before?
And must my name until I die
Be no more than an alibi?
Must I lie?
How can I ever face my fellow men?
How can I ever face myself again?
My soul belongs to Suzaku, I know
I made that bargain long ago
He gave me hope when hope was gone
He gave me strength to journey on
(He appears in front of the court)
Who am I? Who am I?
I am Jean Valjean!
(He removes his shirt to reveal the number tattooed to his chest. The fangirls in the audience scream, drool, and faint. Ryuuen looks irritated, because he told them not to scream that loud)
And so Javert, you see it's true
That man bears no more guilt than you!
Who am I?
24601!
And I'm *convulsive shuddering* ready for my punishment
Fantine's Death
(Fantine is lying in a hospital bed, deliriously dreaming of her daughter Cosette)
(Koutoku grins happily at the realization that there'll be another angst piece, and begins to sing, carefully getting rid of the happiness in his voice)
FANTINE (Koutoku)
Cosette, it's turned so cold
Cosette, it's past your bedtime
You've played the day away
And soon it will be night.
Come to me, Cosette, the light is fading
Don't you see the evening star appearing?
Come to me, and rest against my shoulder
How fast the minutes fly away and every minute colder.
Hurry near, another day is dying
Don't you hear, the winter wind is crying?
There's a darkness which comes without a warning
But I will sing you lullabies and wake you in the morning.
(Valjean enters)
VALJEAN (Saihitei)
Oh, Fantine, our time is running out
But Fantine, I swear this on my life
FANTINE (Koutoku)
Look, M'sieur, where all the children play
VALJEAN (Saihitei)
Be at peace, be at peace evermore.
FANTINE (Koutoku)
My Cosette...
VALJEAN (Saihitei)
Shall live in my protection
FANTINE (Koutoku)
Take her now
VALJEAN (Saihitei)
Your child will want for nothing
FANTINE (Koutoku)
Good M'sieur, you come from Seiryuu-seikun.
VALJEAN (Saihitei)
And none shall ever harm Cosette
As long as I am living.
FANTINE (Koutoku)
Take my hand. The night grows ever colder.
VALJEAN (Saihitei)
Then I will keep you warm.
FANTINE (Koutoku)
Take my child. I give her to your keeping.
VAKJEAN (Saihitei)
Take shelter from the storm
FANTINE (Koutoku)
For God's sake, please stay till I am sleeping
And tell Cosette I love her
And I'll see her when I wake...
(She dies with a smile. Javert arrives)
(Ryuuen runs onstage quickly to Sai and Koutoku)
Ryuuen: You do it so great! I mean, you're practically the only people who can really do the serious songs seriously!! *places a rose in Koutoku's hands* You know something, flute boy, you're a good kid.
Koutoku: (in a fit of over-angst) I'm sorry for fighting with you, Ryuu-chan.
Ayuru: *taps foot impatiently* I have a song, people, I have a song...
Ryuuen: Oh shut up and let the angst birdies have their fun. *to Koutoku* Yeah, me too. Now you listen to me, Kou. You better win that scholarship to the music academy, you hear? *strangle-hugs him*
Koutoku: Got...it...Ryuu-chan, you're...strangling me...
Ryuuen: Oh, whoops!
Saihitei: What about me? You're supposed to like me, Ryuu-chan
Ryuuen: You too, Heika *glomp*
Ayuru: Hellllllllooooo, okama, we have a song!
Ryuuen: The term is onnagata, got it? Now go ahead, sing, since you're so bent on it!
The Confrontation
JAVERT (Ayuru)
Valjean, at last,
We see each other clear
`M'sieur le Mayor,'
Just look what I've got here!
*holds up jar of lice*
VALJEAN (Saihitei)
Before you say another word, Javert
Before you fill my hair with pestilence again
Listen to me! There is something I must do.
This...woman leaves behind a suffering child.
There is none but me who can intercede,
In Mercy's name, three days are all I need.
Then I'll return, I pledge my word.
Then I'll return...
JAVERT (Ayuru)
You must think me mad!
I've hunted you across the years
A man like you can never change
A man such as you.
VALJEAN (Saihitei) (in counterpoint)
Believe of me what you will
There is a duty that I'm sworn to do
You know nothing of my life
All I did was try to look nice
You know nothing of the world
You would sooner see me with lice
But not before I see this justice done
I am warning you Javert
I'm a stronger man by far
There is power in me yet
My race is not yet run
I am warning you Javert
There is nothing I won't dare
If I have to kill you here
I'll do what must be done!
JAVERT (Ayuru) (in counterpoint)
Men like you can never change
Men like you can never change
No,
24601
My duty's to the law - you have no Rights
Come with me 24601
Now the wheel has turned around
Jean Valjean is nothing now
Dare you talk to me of crime
And the price you had to pay
Every man is born in sin
Every man must choose his way
You know nothing of Javert
I was born inside a jail
I was born with lice like you
I am from that gutter too!
(Valjean breaks a chair and threatens Javert with the broken piece. Turns to Fantine)
VALJEAN (Saihitei)
(to Fantine) And this I swear to you tonight
JAVERT (Ayuru)
(to Valjean) There is no place for you to hide
VALJEAN (Saihitei)
Your child will live within my care
JAVERT (Ayuru)
Wherever you may hide away
VALJEAN (Saihitei)
And I will raise her to the (clean, lice-free) light.
VALJEAN AND JAVERT (Saihitei and Ayuru)
I swear to you, I will be there!
(They fight, Javert is knocked out. Valjean escapes)
Ryuuen: *offstage* You made a great dead body, flute boy!
Koutoku: *grin*
(Scene changes with Taiitsukun and Chuin effects)
Classroom On A Cloud
(Young Cosette is working as a drudge in the Thénardier's inn at Montfermeil)
YOUNG COSETTE (Douken)
There is a classroom on a cloud,
I like to go there in my sleep,
Aren't any floors for me to sweep,
Not in my classroom on a cloud.
There is a room that's full of books,
There are a hundred math teachers,
Nobody's ignorant or loud,
Not in my classroom on a cloud.
There is a lady all in white,
Holds me and sings all about pi,
She's nice to see and she's soft to touch,
She says "Cosette, I'll teach you very much."
I know a place where everyone loves algebra,
I know a place where no one hates school.
Hating school at all is not allowed,
Not in my classroom on a cloud.
Oh help! I think I hear them now,
And I'm nowhere near finished sweeping and
Scrubbing and polishing the floor.
Oh, it's him! It's Monsieur!
M. THENARDIER (Chuin)
Now look who's here
The little madam herself!
Pretending once again she's been `so awfully good,'
Better not let me catch you slacking
Better not catch my eye!
Ten rotten francs your mother sends me
What is that going to buy?
I'll never be able to afford any more face paint!
Now take that pail
My little `Mademoiselle'
And go and draw some water from the well!
Meanwhile, I must iron my
Chinese Opera clothing
We should never have taken you in in the first place
How stupid the things that we do!
Like mother like daughter, the scum of the street.
No fashion sense at all!
Eponine, come my dear, Eponine, let me see you
You look very well in that new little blue hat
Sets off your hair to an advantage
There's some little girls who know how to behave
And they know what to wear
And I'm saying thank heaven for that.
But please don't go and see that Gavroche boy again!
Shunkaku: *offstage* I killed you once, and I can do it again, Chuin!!
Chibi Yui AKA Young Eponine: *waves pompoms* Go Shunkaku, he's our man, if he can't do it, no one can!!
Shunkaku: *faints from shock* Yu...i...sa...ma...
M. THERNARDIER (Chuin)
*rolls eyes*
Stupid yoyo boy
*sees Douken*
Still there Cosette?
Your tears will do you no good!
I told you fetch some water from the well in the wood!
YOUNG COSETTE (Douken)
Please do not send me out alone
Not in the darkness on my own!
Not without even a textbook for protection
M. THENARDIER (Chuin)
Enough of that, or I'll forget to be nice!
You heard me ask for something,
And I never ask twice!
Instead I stick feathers into people!
(Young Eponine pushes Cosette out. M. Thénardier says good night to his daughter as the inn fills up for the evening)
Ryuuen: *makes more faces* We've been banned from Master of the House as well.
KoK: But that was my idea. I couldn't figure out what I was supposed to do for it. Besides I hate that song. At any rate, it's just the song about the inn. S'not that important. So we're skipping right to the Thénardier Waltz of Treachery.
Ryuuen: *mutter* I WANTED to parody that song. Gees.
The Thénardier Waltz of Treachery
M. THENARDIER (Chuin)
What to do? What to say?
Shall you carry our treasure away?
What a gem! What a pearl!
Beyond rubies is our little girl!
How can we speak of debt?
Let's not haggle for darling Colette!
VALJEAN (Saihitei)
CoSette!
M. THENARDIER (Chuin)
*coughs*
Dear Fantine, gone to rest...
Have we done for her child what is best?
Shared our clams. Shared each bone.
Treated her like she's one of our own!
Like our own, Monsieur!
VALJEAN (Saihitei)
Your feelings do you credit, sir
And I will ease the parting blow
(He pays them)
Let us not talk of bargains or bones or greed
Now, may I say, we are agreed?
MME. THENARDIER (Kaen)
That would quite fit the bill
If she hadn't so often been ill
Little dear, cost us dear
Medicines are expensive, M'sieur
Not that we begrudged a sou
It's no more than we *cough* good citizens must do!
M. & MME. THENARDIER (Chuin and Kaen)
One thing more, one small doubt
There are treacherous people about
No offence. Please reflect.
Your intentions may not be correct?
VALJEAN (Saihitei)
He - ck, I'm not a child molester!
*sigh* Good thing I'm the emperor and have a lot of money.
No more words. Here's your price.
Fifteen hundred for your sacrifice.
Come, Cosette, say goodbye
Let us seek out some friendlier sky.
Thank you both for Cosette
It won't take you too long to forget.
(Valjean and Cosette leave the inn)
Come, Cosette, come, my dear
From now on I will always be here
Where I go, you will be.
YOUNG COSETTE (Douken)
Will there be teachers and textbooks to see?
VALJEAN (Saihitei)
Yes, Cosette, yes, it's true.
There's a textbook just waiting for you.
VALJEAN & YOUNG COSETTE (Saihitei and Douken)
La la la la la...
Look Down
(1832. The teeming, squalid streets of Paris. Beggars, urchins, prostitutes, students, etc.)
BEGGARS
Look down and see the beggars at your feet
Look down and show some mercy if you can
Look down and see the sweepings of the street
Look down, look down,
Upon your fellow man!
GAVROCHE (Shunkaku)
'Ow do you do? My name's Gavroche.
These are my people. Here's my patch
Not much to look at, nothing posh
Nothing that you'd call up to scratch.
This is my school, my high society
Here in the slums of Saint Michele
We live on crumbs of humble piety
Tough on the teeth, but what the hell!
Think you're psycho?
Think you're free?
Follow me! Follow me!
BEGGARS
Look down and show some mercy if you can
Look down, look down, upon your fellow man!
(An old beggar woman finds a young prostitute occupying her pitch)
OLD BEGGAR WOMAN (Taiitsukun)
What you think yer at?
Hanging round me pitch?
If you're new around here, girl
You've got a lot to learn!
YOUNG PROSTITUTE (Doulin)
*makes faces at Taiitsukun*
Listen you old bat...
Crazy bloody witch...
'Least I give me customers
Some pleasure in return!
OLD BEGGAR WOMAN (Taiitsukun)
I know what you give!
Give 'em all the pox!
Spread around your poison
Till they end up in a box.
PIMP (Lanva)
Leave the poor old cow,
Move it, Madeleine.
She used to be no better
Till the clap got to her brain.
(Saihitei is having an apoplectic fit offstage. "It's HIM again!")
BEGGARS
When's it gonna end?
When we gonna live?
Something's gotta happen now or
Something's gonna give
It'll come, it'll come, it'll come
It'll come, it'll come, it'll come
ENJOLRAS (Ryuuen)
Where the leaders of the land?
Where are the swells who run this show?
MARIUS (Kishuku)
Only one man - and that's Lamarque
Speaks for these people here below.
BEGGARS
See our children fed
Help us in our shame
Something for a crust of bread
In Holy Seiryuu's name
URCHIN (Yuiren)
In Seiryuu's
Holy name.
AUDIENCE
AWWWWWWWWW!!!!!! *faint from the cuteness*
BEGGARS
In his name, in his name, in his name...
MARIUS (Kishuku)
That's me little sister! Ain't she adorable? You can buy her for 70 gold yen.
AUDIENCE
WHAT??? Sell your LITTLE SISTER?
MARIUS (Kishuku)
*from the corner off his eyes, catches Ryuuen's furious gestures and takes the hint*
Naw!!
*sweeps Yuiren into his arms*
I wasn't serious! My wren is worth more than gold
Or silver!
*thrusts her into Ryuuen's arms*
(Ryuuen in turn hands her offstage to Kourin.)
Ryuuen: Take care of her, okay? And convince her that Ghost-boy was lying when he said he'd sell her
Kourin: Okay. Now get out there, you've a line coming up
MARIUS (Kishuku)
Lamarque is ill and fading fast!
Won't last the week out, so they say.
ENJOLRAS (Ryuuen)
With all the anger in the land
How long before the judgement day?
Before we cut the fat ones down to size?
Before the barricades arise?
GAVROCHE (Shunkaku)
Watch out for old Thénardier
All of his family's on the make
Once ran a seafood joint down the way
Bit of a queer and no mistake
He's got a gang
The bleeding layabout
Even his daughter does her share
That's Eponine, she knows her way about
She's beautiful beyond compare
Yui: *offstage* How sweet! Thanks, Shun!
GAVROCHE (Shunkaku)
*winks*
Do we care?
Not a cuss
Long live us.
Long live us!
*throws himself offstage*
Shunkaku: Yui-sama! Hi!
Yui: Uh...hi, Shun...
Shunkaku: Would you like to go out with me? You can think about it during the play, and tell me afterwards, I could take you then!
Yui: Okay...
BEGGARS
Look down and show some mercy if you can
Look down, look down upon your fellow man!
Stars
JAVERT (Ayuru)
This song is so out of character for me
Why can't I ki blast the authoress?
ENJOLRAS (Ryuuen)
Because I'm assistant director
And I say no destroying the theatre
JAVERT (Ayuru)
I'll send my werewolf after you again
And see he kills you properly this time!
ENJOLRAS (Ryuuen)
Wall angel!
JAVERT (Ayuru)
What?
*WHAM*
*dizzily*
Ohhhhhhh
ENJOLRAS (Ryuuen)
Curses. Now we need someone to sing Stars
Hey!
HEIIIIIKAAAAA!!!!!
(Saihitei runs in)
Saihitei: Yes?
Ryuuen: We need a real handsome guy to sing Stars for us, and I was wondering -
Saihitei: If I would?
Ryuuen: Precisely, Heika. Just sing it all the way through. You have a gorgeous voice, so just sing!
Saihitei: *preens* All right!
JAVERT (Saihitei)
There, out in the darkness
A fugitive running
Fallen from grace
Fallen from grace
God be my witness
I never shall yield
Till we come face to face
Till we come face to face
He knows his way in the dark
Mine is the way of the Lice
And those who follow the path of the bugs
Will keep cons from looking nice
And if they fall
As Lucifer fell
The flame
The sword!
Lice
In your multitudes
Scarce to be counted
Filling the darkness
With order and light
You are the sentinels
Silent and sure
Keeping watch in the night
Keeping watch in the night
You know your place in the hair
You hold your course and your aim
And each in your season
Returns and returns
And is always the same
And if you die as others have died
You die in evil anti-lice shampoos!
And so it has been and so it is written
On the doorway to paradise
That those who falter and those who fall
Must pay the price!
Lord let me find him
That I may see him
Never look niiiice!
*growls to himself*
I will never rest
Till then
This I swear
This I swear by the lice!
Ryuuen: That Javert fellow has ISSUES!!!
(Saihitei walks offstage)
Saihitei: Was that what you wanted, Ryuuen?
Ryuuen: *gush* Perfect, Heika! You're a master!
Saihitei: Oh, well, I know...
Kishuku: And you're so modest, too.
Saihitei: Why thank you
Kishuku:......
GAVROCHE (Shunkaku)
That inspector thinks he's something
But it's me who runs this town!
And my theatre never closes
And the curtain's never down
Trust Gavroche, have no fear
Don't you worry, 'Nii-san dear,
You can always find me here!
(He flings himself offstage again)
Shunkaku: Aniki? 'Nii-san?
Koutoku: Yes, Shun?
Shunkaku: What's my next line, quick, tell me!
Koutoku: You're not out until...towards the end of this next song.
Shunkaku: My line, aniki, my line!
Koutoku: LISTEN!
Shunkaku: What? What?
Koutoku: That's your line!
Shunkaku: What is?
Koutoku: LISTEN!
Shunkaku: Listen to what, aniki?
Koutoku: That's it, I give up.... *sigh*
The ABC Cafe - Red and Black
(The ABC Café, where the students, led by Enjolras, meet to discuss their revolutionary plans)
COMBEFERRE (Emtato)
At Notre Dame the sections are prepared!
FEUILLY (Myoujuan)
At Rue de Bac they're straining at the leash!
*starry eyes* Leash makes me think of *gush* animals!!
ENJOLRAS (Ryuuen)
Knew we made a mistake letting someone who's half veterinarian
Into this play of ours
COURFEYRAC (Chamka)
Students, workers, everyone
There's a river on the run
Like the flowing of the tide
Paris coming to our side!
ENJOLRAS (Ryuuen)
The time is near
So near it's stirring the blood in their veins!
And yet beware
Don't let the sake go to your brains!
*glare* GEN-ROUUUUUUUU!!!!!
For the army we fight is a dangerous foe
With the men and the arms that we never can match
It is easy to sit here and swat 'em like flies
*evil grin* Genrou, come here, will ya?
But the National Guard will be harder to catch.
We need a sign
To rally the people
To call them to arms
To bring them in line!
*Genrou walks nervously over*
Ryuuen: Gen-chaaan, how do YOU think one swats a fly? Maybe like THIS!
*Genrou, still holding his sake cup, goes flying across the room into a wall*
*Ryuuen grins*
Ryuuen: Now, will we think twice before we keep drinking after we're told not to?
Genrou: *dizzily* Yeah...whatever you say...okama... *passes out, combination sake and Ryuuen*
(Marius enters, preventing further injuries on Genrou's part)
ENJOLRAS (Ryuuen)
Marius, you're late.
JOLY (Ryusaburo)
*undeterminable barking*
TRANSLATOR MACHINE
What's wrong today?
You look as if you've seen a ghost.
(Enter the REAL Joly.)
JOLY (Joly)
Oh. My. God.
What did you DO to my character???
ENJOLRAS (Ryuuen)
Cast a werewolf in the part.
Live with it, pal.
JOLY (Joly)
*sits down and sobs*
*sniffle*
.....Oh Lord, I've caught something!
*points an accusing finger*
I'm allergic to that...creature!!
BOSSUET!!!
*runs away screaming*
ENJOLRAS (Ryuuen)
Well then.
GRANTAIRE (Genrou)
*from the wall, sticks out a hand with a cup in it*
Some sake and say what's going on!
MARIUS (Kishuku)
A ghost you say... a ghost maybe
She was just like a ghost to me
One minute there, and she was gone!
GRANTAIRE (Genrou)
*cracks up, and fall out of the wall laughing*
I am agog!
I am aghast!
Is Marius seen love at last?
I've never heard him `ooh' and `aah'
You talk of battles to be won
And here he comes like Ry-uu-en
It's better than an o-per-a!
M. THENARDIER (Chuin)
Opera?
Mention you OPERA??
*jumps onto the stage and begins to enact a scene from a Chinese opera*
ENJOLRAS (Ryuuen)
*throws him and Genrou into the wall*
It is time for us all
To decide who we are
Do we fight for the right
To a night at the opera now?
M.THERARDIER (Chuin)
*weakly*
Opera! Yay!
ENJOLRAS (Ryuuen)
*glare*
Have you asked of yourselves
What's the price you might pay?
Is it simply a game
For rich young boys to play?
The colour of the world
Is changing day by day...
Red - the blood of angry men!
Black - the dark of ages past!
Red - a world about to dawn!
Black - the night that ends at last!
MARIUS (Kishuku)
*besotted sigh*
Had you been there tonight
You might know how it feels
To be struck to the bone
In a moment of breathless delight!
Had you been there tonight
You might also have known
How the world may be changed
In just one burst of light!
And what was right seems wrong
And what was wrong seems right!
GRANTAIRE (Genrou)
Red...the blood of
*WHAM*
MARIUS (Kishuku)
I feel my soul on fire!
COURFEYRAC (Chamka)
*sigh* Black...
MARIUS (Kishuku)
My world if she's not there!
ALL
Red...
MARIUS (Kishuku)
The colour of desire!
ALL
Black...
MARIUS (Kishuku)
The colour of despair!
ENJOLRAS (Ryuuen)
Marius, you're no longer a child
(Although I know what it's like to be a hopeless romantic)
I do not doubt you mean it well
But now there is a higher call.
Who cares about your lonely soul?
(Besides Miaka)
We strive toward a larger goal
Our little lives don't count at all!
GRANTAIRE (Genrou)
I don't wanna die!!!!
ENJOLRAS (Ryuuen)
Quiet, Fang-boy!
ALL
Red - the blood of angry men!
Black - the dark of ages past!
Red - a world about to dawn!
Black - the night that ends at last!
ENJOLRAS (Ryuuen)
Well, Courfeyrac, do we have all the guns?
Feuilly, Combeferre, our time is running short.
Grantaire, put the bottle down! Down! Down, I say! GENROUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!!!!
Do we have the guns we need?
GRANTAIRE (Genrou)
Give me sake on my breath
And I'll breathe them all to death!
COURFEYRAC (Chamka)
*grinning* Yeah, right, Gen
In St. Antoine they're with us to a man!
COMBEFERRE (Emtato)
*grinning as well* Well, I'd bet his breath's bad enough on its own
In Notre Dame they're tearing up the stones!
FEUILLY (Myoujuan)
*small smile* It is, trust me,
He wouldn't get out of my face the one time I tried to heal him
Twenty rifles good as new!
GRANTAIRE (Genrou)
*indignant protest*
I do not! I - you bloody healer!!
Ryuuuu-chan!!
ENJOLRAS (Ryuuen)
What? Quit whining
(Amid the chaos, Gavroche rushes in shouting)
GAVROCHE (Shunkaku)
Listen!
JOLY (Ryusaburo)
*barks*
TRANSLATING MACHINE
Twenty rounds for every man!
JOLY (Joly)
*depressed sniffles*
GAVROCHE (Shunkaku)
Listen to me!
PROUVAIRE (Midori)
Double that in Port St. Cloud!
GAVROCHE (Shunkaku)
Listen everybody!
LESGLES (Kasaru)
Seven guns in St. Martin!
GAVROCHE (Shunkaku)
Listen to me or I'll kill you too!!
*everyone ignores him*
GAHHHHH!!!!!!
General Lamarque is dead!
*immediate total silence*
ENJOLRAS (Ryuuen)
*grins like a maniac*
Lamarque is dead.
Lamarque! His death is the hour of fate.
The people's man.
His death is the sign we await!
On his funeral day they will honour his name.
It's a rallying cry that will reach every ear!
In the death of Lamarque we will kindle the flame
They will see that the day of salvation is near!
The time is near!
Let us welcome it gladly with courage and cheer
Let us take to the streets with no doubt in our hearts
But a jubilant shout
They will come one and all
They will come when we call!
GRANTAIRE (Genrou)
YEAH!!
Eep...
*cowers under Ryuuen's glare*
Do You Hear The People Sing?
ENJOLRAS (Ryuuen)
Do you hear the people sing?
Singing a song of angry men
Hey, what is it with the obsession with this phrase anyway?
It is the music of a people
Who will not be slaves again!
When the beating of your heart
Echoes the beating of the drums
There is a life about to start
When tomorrow comes!
COMBEFERRE (Emtato)
Will you join in our crusade?
Who will be strong and stand with me?
Beyond the barricade
Is there a world you long to see?
Hey, I resent that quote; I'm blind in one eye!
COURFEYRAC (Chamka)
'Nii-chan, quit grousing!
Then join in the fight
That will give you the right to be free!
COMBEFERRE (Emtato)
*raises an eyebrow*
Grousing? Where'd you pick that one up, otouto?
ALL
Do you hear the people sing?
Singing a song of angry men?
Ryuuen: Angry men again! What is with it?
ALL
It is the music of a people
Who will not be slaves again!
When the beating of your heart
Echoes the beating of the drums
There is a life about to start
When tomorrow comes!
FEUILLY (Myoujuan)
*looks heroic*
(Everyone falls over at Myoujuan looking heroic)
Will you give all you can give
So that our banner may advance?
Some will fall and some will live
Will you stand up and take your chance?
The blood of the martyrs
Will water the meadows of France!
ALL
We don't live in France!
FEUILLY (Myoujuan)
For the sake of rhyme!
FEUILLY (Feuilly)
FORGET FRANCE!! LET'S ALL MOVE TO POLAND!!
(He is subdued by the security Nyan-nyans)
ALL
Do you hear the people sing?
Singing a song of angry men?
Ryuuen: It's those darned -
ALL
Don't say it!!!
It is the music of a people
Who will not be slaves again!
When the beating of your heart
Echoes the beating of the drums
There is a life about to start
When tomorrow comes!
ENJOLRAS (Ryuuen)
INTERMISSION!!! FOOD, EVERYBODY!!!
(Miaka runs everybody down in a mad rush for the food tables)
FEUILLY (Myoujuan)
Anyone who needs to be healed, come to me, I'll fix you up.
(People troop over to be healed)
FANTINE (Koutoku)
*drags himself over to Myoujuan*
I've a broken leg, Juan-chan...
*puts his head in his hands again*
Why me? Why me?
ENJOLRAS (Ryuuen)
You're such a sweet chap, Kou.
GAVROCHE (Shunkaku)
SOMEBODY HURT ANIKIIIIIIIII!!!!!!!!!
FANTINE (Koutoku)
It's okay, Shun! Just got my leg broken by a mad shark during a feeding frenzy
GAVROCHE (Shunkaku)
.........
I thought sharks couldn't go on dry land...
FANTINE (Koutoku)
*cries*