Past

She was going to be good this year, whatever it took.

Moved back in with her mother as soon as the hospital had cleared her, thrown away all of her pregnancy clothes (except for a white dress that she adored so much it hurt to think of it sitting in the dumpster), and settled back into her life. Her summer had been spent working out and trying to regain the figure she had possessed before her pregnancy, and she had succeeded. She'd seen Puck a few times, working outside in various gardens, but she had always dodged his figure and crossed the street. The past was the past, and she was determined to put it behind her.

Her mother never mentioned her pregnancy, and for that she was grateful. There was no evidence of those nine months, only a little girl who was far away. It was just a blip on her life, nothing to be remembered.

She couldn't dodge Puck at school though, and that stirred up all sorts of memories and feelings. And when Rachel asked for her help in figuring out whether or not Finn loved her, that just hurt more like someone stabbed a dagger through her heart.

But she did it anyway, did a favour for a girl she wouldn't have even glanced at two years ago, because she was turning over a new leaf. She was being good.

Puck hardly ever spoke to her, but she tried not to notice. She just wished that he would smile at her, perhaps even a glance? Anything to know that what he had said when Beth had been born hadn't been a silly lie he'd said to comfort her.

But nothing happened.

And when her eyes flickered to his when Rachel was pouring out her heart and soul to Finn (the Glee club barely noticable as the two stared so lovingly at each other that it almost made her feel sick), she forced a smile. Pretending her happiness was easy, but she knew that nothing would happen that made her truly happy until the day he took her head and never let go.

He smiled back softly, resting his hand on her knee. To her surprise, he didn't make an attempt to push his hand up her thigh any further (though this could be because they were in a room filled with people, and she never had been on of an exhibitonist, but she liked to think that it was because he was being a nice guy), and she liked that.

Mouthing the words along with Rachel's voice, she smiled softly.

Maybe the past deserved a place in her future.

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