-1Call Me Nathan:
(Sylar POV)
Nobody can understand the feeling of not knowing who you are, not unless you've been there. I'm not talking about maybe being a little unsure of your personality or how you feel about something. I'm not talking about those 'self-searches' people go on to find out who they are. I'm talking about literally not knowing who you are. Stopping and thinking about yourself and not even being sure of your own name.
It's a terrifying thing when people you've only just met know more about you than you do. It's bad enough just being a person who doesn't know who they are, but I have these powers. I can't control them, it just happens. It's like an automatic self-defence mechanism, my body knows what I can do and when to do it to protect myself, but I have no control over it. I don't want to hurt anyone, I'm trying not to, but when I'm threatened it just happens. I wish I could control it, stop it happening when I don't want it to, make it happen when I do. Maybe finding out who I am would help that? Maybe I can control it but have just forgotten how?
There's a part of me, though, that doesn't want to find out who I am. I've been called Gabriel by the police, and Sylar by the people here and yet the name Nathan feels like it is mine. I was in that hall of mirrors I saw me and my Mom. I recognised her as my Mom and she called me Gabriel, so is Gabriel my name? Is that who I am? I don't want to be this Gabriel or Sylar though, from what I can tell about them I am a serial killer. If I am Gabriel I killed my own Mother, if I'm Sylar I killed many more. But I don't want to be a killer. I don't want to hurt people.
When I'm acting consciously I don't hurt people, I do everything in my power not to. The police officer came after me and I couldn't kill him. I knew that to be free from him I would have to but I couldn't. I couldn't take the life of another. I don't feel as though I am a murderer.
I don't want to be Sylar. I don't want to be Gabriel. So for now, until I'm more sure, call me Nathan, whoever he is.
A/N: This is my first Heroes fic, so please don't be too harsh. Just a random stream-of-consciousness idea that I got after last nights episode. :-). R&R?