Who I Am Hates Who I've Been
A new day at the CBI office and a new case awaiting the CBI team; Jane thought with a smile as he walked into the bullpen.
"Good morning everyone." He greeted the team with a smile; it was the usual Monday morning scene. Van Pelt on her computer, Cho with his head in a book and Rigsby eating a bagel. Then there was Lisbon who was in her office presumably.
"Morning Jane." Van Pelt greeted pleasantly while the two men ignored him, business as usual it would seem. Jane headed for his couch and with a sigh of relief settled into its comfy confines. He had been settled for less than a minute before two pairs of high heels clicked into the bullpen causing him to sit up out of curiosity.
He frowned when he saw a very serious Agent Hightower and a vaguely confused Agent Lisbon enter the bullpen together. Hightower looked around at everyone to make sure the whole team were present then said to Lisbon, "You might want to sit down for this news Lisbon, it could disturb you."
Lisbon frowned, but joined Jane on his couch nonetheless. Everyone was now looking at Hightower expectantly and she sighed in resentment, "The case I am about to present you with is very disturbing and if you are unable to work it I completely understand. You are my best Agents and the ordinary police refuse to work this case."
Lisbon looked at Jane, worry clearly etched on her face. He smiled at her encouragingly and they turned back to Hightower, "The case is an old one that has been re-opened. There was a lot of controversy in the early 80's about a man who was never caught. He raped 15 children, but that was only the number recorded by the police, 6 of these children were killed and it was believed to be many more. We believe after the rape of 3 more children in the area where all his attacks were based that he is still very much alive and at large. If this is the case and it's the same man, we need to catch him."
She looked around the team for a reaction, Van Pelt looked disgusted and Rigsby looked angry. Cho didn't seem to be showing any emotion and Janes mask had fallen a little because he looked slightly green. Lisbons face however had drained of all colour and she looked like she might faint.
"Will you take the case?" Hightower asked, looking at Lisbon in concern.
Lisbon swallowed hard and nodded, "Yeah, we can manage it cant we?" She asked the team who all gave her nods or noises of acknowledgement.
Hightower thanked them and handed Lisbon the case file. She left the room and Lisbon stood, "excuse me a moment." She told the team before hurrying to the bathroom across the hall. She took deep breaths as she felt the bile rise in her throat and the sickness come to her. Disgusted with herself she splashed some water on her face and popped some spearmint chewing gum in her mouth to get rid of the taste. After a few long breaths she felt composed enough to go back to work and she walked into the bullpen with a smile, "Alright then, lets get to work on this case."
Jane was the only one who still looked a little concerned the others all nodded and headed for their computers to bring up as much on the case as they could. After 10 minutes they found themselves at the table discussing what they had found out.
"Well we know how these cases are all connected. He's like Red John, he has a trademark." Van Pelt told the team in disgust, the others looked pale, but none Jane noticed as pale as Lisbon who had to swallow hard to stop herself from being sick.
Van Pelt continued, "Every little girl he abducts is 7 years old. If the kid turns 8 when she's captive he kills her, if not he drugs her to the max and lets her go."
"That's sick." Rigsby said shaking his head in disgust.
Jane however was frowning, "Wait a moment are you saying he keeps these children captive for a long period of time?"
Van Pelt nodded, "Exactly a week which makes me think that it's not just a one time thing."
"Those poor kids." Cho spoke quietly and Lisbon remained silent.
"We know that it's the same guy because it happened in the same pattern. A 7 year old gone for a week, returned and the next day another one in neighbourhood gone."
"Could be a copycat." Rigsby suggested, "If this guy was around in the early 80's he could be dead by now."
Jane rose a hand, "You are assuming that because he is a paedophile he is an old man, you are not necessarily right."
"It could be anyone." Lisbon said quietly, not looking at them, "He could have been a really sick 20 year old in the 80's for all we know."
"Why always the same age?" Van Pelt asked in confusion, if she had noticed Lisbons distress she hadn't commented.
Jane sighed, "They are young enough to still be vulnerable and innocent, but not old enough for them to understand or get pregnant. Just the way their captor likes it." Everyone seemed to shiver in disgust at the thought and for a few minutes silence fell over the group.
"We know how to identify them. The children that he lets go are marked." Van Pelt said with great distaste and Lisbon paled further, "He marks them with a number on their back; the last number recorded was 21 in 1986 when it seemed he had stopped. Only 15 of the so-called 21 cases were reported and like I said only 6 children were killed. The 3 children who have just been returned are marked 22, 23 and 24."
Jane was looking at Lisbon with concern clearly etched on his face, "Are you alright Lisbon?" He asked, gently touching her hand.
She nodded, "Yeah, I'm fine. Continue Van Pelt."
Van Pelt nodded, "I have a list of the victims, I thought we could run it on the Computer and see what they have in common?"
Lisbon nodded, "Yeah, check out the 3 new cases and the 15 old ones for any differences, the tiniest things count. We need to know if this is the real thing or a copycat."
Van Pelt nodded, "Got it Boss."
"I'll be back in a moment; I'm going out for some air." She told them with a fake smile, Jane was really worried now as he watched Lisbon exit the bullpen, something about this case was really bothering her.
Jane was pulled out of his reverie by a gasp from Van Pelt, "The first victim abducted and killed was called Jessica Lisbon."
Janes head spun around, "What?"
Van Pelt frowned as she read the information on the screen aloud, "Jessica Lisbon. Parents Rebecca and Mark Lisbon. Siblings Tommy Lisbon, Teresa Lisbon, Jack Lisbon and Andrew Lisbon."
Jane swallowed as he felt the sudden urge to be sick overwhelm him, "Lisbons sister?" He asked quietly, but everyone heard him.
Van Pelt nodded, "No wonder she's so off today, this case must really be getting to her."
Jane shook his head, "She can't work this case, not when it's so personal. She's just going to get hurt."
Van Pelt opened her mouth to speak just as Lisbon walked back into the bullpen, "Get that list of victims?" She asked as she sat down on Janes couch with a glass of water.
Van Pelt nodded, "Uh yeah, we know about your-"
Lisbon cut her off, "I knew you would find out about Jessica when I asked you to get the list and no matter what you say I am not backing off this case."
Jane's eyes widened in shock, she wanted to work this case? "Lisbon you can't. Its too personal, you're just going to get hurt by trying to solve this."
Lisbons eyes flashed dangerously at the man, "But you working on the Red John case isn't hurting you? Every time he gets away, he gets away with a part of you and I don't know how much of you there is left anymore, but you still work this case. She deserves to know that the man who killed her is where he belongs for it and I won't back off until I make sure he's dead."
Jane didn't speak, her words had hit him pretty hard, but she had a point. He was being a hypocrite by telling her to back off the case; he just didn't want to see her hurting.
She turned away from Jane and spoke to the team, "Do what you can to find out if this guy is the real thing or a copycat. Jane you're coming with me."
Jane frowned, "Where are we going?"
Lisbon however didn't answer him, she just walked out of the door and with a shrug to the confused team Jane followed her, he lost sight of her but assumed she was heading for the car. When he reached the parking lot and saw her waiting for him with the engine on he ran over to her and jumped into her car.
"Where are we going?" Jane asked again, Lisbon sighed this time and answered, "The place it all began. If I take you there you might be able to find something useful with your whatever they are skills."
Jane nodded, smiling slightly, his 'whatever they are skills' she still wasn't completely convinced and they had been working together for almost 2 years now.
They drove in silence for a few more minutes before Jane finally had to ask, "Lisbon, how do you know where it began? Did you know him?"
She sighed, "I knew that he was someone I knew, but I didn't know who at the time or why."
Jane frowned, "If you saw him then…" He trailed off, watching Lisbon intently.
She turned to look at him with shame in her eyes, but determination at the same time, "Yes Jane I was one of the 'lucky' girls who got away, Jessica wasn't."
Jane felt sick at the thought of what that man had done to Lisbon as a small child and suddenly so many aspects of her personality made much more sense to him, it was why she was bitter and withdrawn and no wonder with a secret as horrible as that in her past.
"I swear to God if we catch him I'm going to kill him." He said angrily as he looked out of the car window to hide the true sadness he felt at what he had just heard.
"Not if I do first." Lisbon said from beside him and he was shocked to find that her voice didn't shake, she just sounded determined and when he looked at her he knew the look on her face, it was the look he saw on his own face when he thought about how it would feel to kill Red John.
Before Jane could say anymore Lisbon had stopped the car and climbed out, they were in the middle of the woods and the only thing around was a cottage, but it was covered in ivy and clearly hadn't been used in years. The woods were growing all around it and it soon would no longer be in view from the road.
Lisbon had stopped in her tracks as she saw the place that used to bring her so much joy as a child and she looked up at it in disgust remembering the first time she had laid her eyes on the cottage.
"Mommy! Mommy! I see it!" A 5 year old Teresa Lisbon had squealed from her booster seat in the car as she pointed frantically at the beautiful cottage awaiting them. It looked like something out of a storybook.
Her mother had laughed from the front seat of the car, "I know sweetie. We're finally here."
She was the only child who had remained awake for the whole journey. Her twin sister Jessica was sleeping with her head on Teresa's shoulder. 10 year old Tommy had fallen asleep with his headphones, 3 year old Andrew had slept the entire journey in his car seat and Jack was still safe and sound inside the large bump that was Mrs Rebecca Lisbons stomach.
This would be their last vacation together before Mr Mark Lisbon left for 6 months on a business deal and she wanted it to last forever.
Lisbon felt a few tears slide down her face as she thought of the fond memory, her last family vacation before everything broke down in front of her. This cottage had been her last place of happiness, a sanctuary almost, until he had used it for the horrible things he had.
"Lisbon, do you want to go inside or shall we head back?" Jane asked from beside her as he placed his hand on her shoulder for comfort. Forgetting that the man was with her she wiped at her tears in embarrassment and composed herself into the fearless cop that she was, "No we can't go back now. We need to go inside." She said and as she walked up the rotting steps and burst open the door a wave of nausea came over her.
It wasn't just the smell of decay that made her gag; it was the ghostly familiarity of the room. No one had ever been here other than him and the girls he took there. No one had told the police about it and everything was exactly the way he had left it. They were all scared of what would happen if they dared to come back and show the police this place, but Lisbon knew that someone had to or more innocent girls would have to go through what she had to go through.
As Jane walked in behind her and looked around the room she vaguely heard him say, "Oh my god." As he took in the obscene pictures on the wall. Lisbon swallowed and looked away from them, Jane was still staring at them in horror, "They are pictures of all the girls he kidnapped, if we can ID them and find out who the unreported cases are then we can get a view of the bigger picture."
Jane just stared at her in horror as she sank down onto the dirty bed that held so many bad memories, she held her stomach tightly and tried to swallow down the feeling that was overwhelming her as everything flashed back to her.
"Teresa Sweetie, its time to go. Jessica is already in the car." Her mother called out and an excited Teresa Lisbon ran down the stairs, "I love you Mom." She said with a kiss to her mother's cheek before running out to the car where her sister and father awaited her.
After a 2 hour drive the girls found themselves at the woodland cottage once more and they were delighted with the treat.
"Okay girls I want you to be on your best behaviour for Aunty Shana and Uncle Bill alright?" Their father asked them with a smile and the girls both promised they would be on their best behaviour, kissed their father goodbye and ran up the wooden steps into the cottage. As they heard their father's car drive away they turned in excitement to their Aunt & Uncle who owned the cottage. However upon turning all they saw was their Uncle Bill who was grinning at the two young girls eerily.
He walked across the room and locked the door, which was when the girls began to worry. He then said, "Well girls, you're all mine now."
"Lisbon I think we should leave." Jane said as he looked at her pale, shaken form as she was struggling not to faint.
Lisbon shook her head and Jane walked over to her, "Lisbon I really think we should leave. The team can come back here. We know where it is now."
Lisbon didn't move, she just shook her head and spoke weakly, "We can't if we leave he will know someone's been here and burn the evidence before we can come back."
Jane made to say that it was probably best to leave then, but someone else spoke first, "Well, well little Teresa certainly has grown up."
The voice that came from the doorway made them both jump and turn around. The man looked to be in his late 40's and he grinned at them in the same way he had grinned at the twin girls so many years ago. It was eerily creepy.
He walked in and sighed, "I should have known we would end up here as soon as I found out you became a cop. I had a feeling you might want to avenge Jessica for my treatment of you and her as children, but really it is for the best."
Lisbon stood up in anger, "How dare you say that what you did to us could do anyone good, but you?" Her eyes flashed with anger and she reached for her gun only to find that it wasn't there.
The man chuckled, "Oh I took care of that. You won't be needing a gun where we're going."
Lisbon stared at the man defiantly, "You think you stand a chance against us? There is one of you and two of us and you're not even armed."
He grinned, "Oh I wouldn't worry about that. There isn't just one of me. Boys." He said before whistling loudly and causing 7 men to run into the room each holding a gun pointed towards Jane and Lisbon.
"Try and fight back and I won't hesitate to shoot you. You know I'm not joking don't you Terri? If your sister had just sat quietly and took it like you did then maybe she would be alive right now."
Lisbon made a quick movement forward, but Jane grabbed her and held her back as she growled at the man, "Don't call me that!"
The man laughed coldly, glad to have a reaction from the woman, "Bringing back to much fond memories poppet?"
Lisbon lurched forward again, but Jane tightened his grasp on her, "Jane, let me go!" She yelled at him. He only held on tighter than ever in response.
The man chuckled once more, "I think you need to take some advice from your friend sweetheart. He has the right idea, silence is golden."
With one more eerie grin he ordered his men to bind them and the next thing they knew Jane and Lisbon were losing consciousness.
As the world went black around them Jane and Lisbon were already plotting horrible ways to murder the man that had just abducted them. They both knew that if the chance arose neither would care about enforcing the law, in situations like this all that mattered was justice.
To Be Continued?
A/N- I'm unsure of this fic because its so dark and so AU and so not happy & bubbly like my usual fics so ahh I don't know if you will like it or hate it!
If I get 10 reviews on chapter 1 I will continue, but if not I'll leave it here. So please review if you like guys!