Edward/Bella fic. All human. OOC. I do not own the characters, I've just borrowed them.
Bella was lying in bed the night before her first day back at school, struggling to sleep. She didn't want to go back, she was quite enjoying the peace and not having to study, even if she did miss the routine of school. And although she had seen her friends during the summer break, it'd be nice to be seeing them every day again. Especially Edward.. See, she was in love with him. She had been since they first met and she knew it. However, she had decided that this year would be the year that she told him, that she'd stop denying it when people teased her and she'd embrace her heart's wishes for once. 'Cause she figured, after all, it's the things you didn't do in life that you end up regretting the most.
Though, there was one problem with this perfect plan.. Edward had a girlfriend. They'd been together for about 9 months. Tanya was her name – she was your classic average-looking girl, not particularly smart, smothered with makeup, dyed hair and a sad group of girls that hung on her every word that she calls her "friends". Just one of those fakes that date a boy to play with his heart, not because she loved him. Or even liked him, for that matter. But, for a reason beyond all the nice girls, she had every boy in the year drooling at her feet. Edward just happened to be the one she wished to play with for the time being. And the saddest thing about it all was that he was oblivious. All he saw was perfection, and he was completely in love with it.
Bella sighed and rolled over as she thought of what the next day would bring: New teachers, new classes, new seats and a new schedule to learn. But yet, the things that she wanted to change would undoubtedly be just as they had been last year. On this grim thought, she fell into a dreamless asleep.
The green hue of a typical Forks morning shone through Bella's bedroom window as she shut her alarm clock off and sat up. She was normally quite the night owl, but this morning she seemed to be full of life and she wasn't quite sure why. She hopped off her bed and got ready for school, taking extra time to make sure she looked nice. She had breakfast and headed off to school, so she'd have plenty of time to spare once she got there.
After she arrived, she fetched her schedule and sat in her place on the front steps where the sun was for a change, seeing if she could try to get a head start on learning it. Before long, her little patch of sun was clouded over and it started to rain lightly. Typical. So she got up and promptly bashed her head off an umbrella.
"Ow! Oh!" She smiled as she looked to the laughing Mike, who was holding the umbrella over her, "That was mean!"
He grinned, "Just thought you might appreciate me keeping your timetable dry. And you wouldn't want to wreck that beautiful hair of yours now, would you?" He winked at her and gave her a quick hug, "As much as I'd love to stay, I really gotta go." And with that, he left, leaving Bella chuckling to herself.
Mike was a good friend of Bella who she got to know over the past couple of years. He wasn't the most intelligent, so they weren't in many classes together, but he was still great to have around. The only problem with Mike, was that he had a soft spot for Bella and was not ashamed to share that fact.. He had asked her to a dance or two, to which she politely declined each time. She could see how it broke his heart, but he still hung about anyway, which she admired him for. She'd love to have that kind of courage.
She walked slowly toward the next nearest building to get out of the rain. Although she found that she was getting used to it, enjoying it, almost. She read through her timetable as she walked. All of a sudden, she came to a halt as she walked right into someone. By the laughter that followed, she knew it was Edward that she had bumped into. She looked up and smiled.
"Hello, you!" She said as he hugged her.
"Someone's unusually chirpy this morning. Why's that?" He asked, sounding somewhat distant.
"To be honest.. I have no idea. But I kind of like it. You going to get your timetable?" Bella frowned slightly at his mood. "And what's the matter?"
"Oh.. Right, yeah. Best do that. How was the end of your holiday? Sorry I wasn't around more." He completely ignored her question and headed toward the office.
"Uhm, it was okay, thanks. A bit dull… Am I gonna have to ask again?"
Edward furrowed his brow, "You could do, but it still won't make me answer.."
"What?" Bella squeaked, taken slightly aback. He'd never been this secretive with her before.
He just shook his head. "I know you heard me the first time. I'm sorry, Bells, but I'm just really not in a happy place right now... I'll tell you… uh, we'll probably have a class together today, so, then. If not... at the end of the day. I promise." He took the piece of paper from the secretary and shoved it in his pocket without taking a glance, at the same time taking out his cell phone. He sighed heavily, almost desperately as he looked at it.
"Uhm, okay then. You don't have to tell me if you don't want to, you know." Bella briefly looked at the phone in Edward's hand before he put it back in his pocket again.
"Look, I have to go," He said, his eyes seemingly pleading, "Tanya." He added quietly. As the office door opened and closed next to her, Bella shivered.
"Love troubles?" Said the secretary in a patronising tone. One of those "I'm older and therefore wiser than you" tones.
"Who asked you?" Bella mumbled more to herself than anyone else. That earned a tut from behind the desk, so she stepped outside and scanned the area. Nobody she could hang around with had arrived yet and there was still 20 minutes before the first bell went. This was going to be one hell of a long day.
The first few lessons went by with hardly a word from Edward, even though they were in the same class. She watched him, though, from a distance during first lesson. She saw him take out his notebook, the one he always carried with him. She watched him Tip-ex out where she knew too well that it said "Edward loves Tanya". Then, a few moments later, she watched him take the marker pen that she bought him, and they always used, to re-write her name and his together. She wasn't sure why, but that just added more sting. Bella's pen. Tanya's name. She stopped watching after that.
This lack of contact was unusual for a few reasons. 1, he generally would go out of his way to talk to her no matter what. 2, even if he wasn't talking to her, she was somehow programmed to hear his voice; this meant that he mustn't have been talking at all, or she would have heard him. And Edward ALWAYS talked. And 3, … it just felt so weird without him. Kind of like there was a hollow in the air around her that was his.. and when it wasn't filled, she could feel it.
The bell rang to announce the end of third lesson, and it already felt like it should be summer break again. The students flooded the halls once more with their mindless chatter and laughter, but Bella seemed to be in her own little bubble; her happy mood from this morning had completely disintegrated. She was only half conscious of where she was walking and what she was thinking- neither quite registering in her mind. She had too many thoughts at once and there were too many people around her, too much noise. And above all, she was worried about Edward.
The next two lessons were English and she knew just by the teacher that she would hate it. Miss Glampson. She was possibly the most horrible woman ever to have walked the earth and had an attitude that could rival even the worst teenager's, even though she must have been in her 50s. She made the class line up like they were in kindergarten while she arranged a seating plan, in which Bella and Edward were placed together, which may be the only good thing about this class.
When everyone was settled, the rules were clear, books were handed out and they were set some silent work, Bella pushed a sheet of paper toward Edward:
Will you tell me what's the matter now?
He looked at the note for a while, having a debate with himself as to whether to answer. Eventually he scribbled down:
Can I finish this paragraph? Then I promise I will.
Bella sighed but nodded nonetheless. She needed to get her work done anyway. Shortly afterwards, Edward took the piece of paper and quietly tore it into strips, something he always did when he had a lot to say. It meant that Bella could be reading the first small section while he's writing the next. He wrote, and wrote and disposed of a few strips of paper before sending the first one:
Ok, you know before summer how Tanya and me were perfect? I honestly couldn't have seen myself with anyone else. Ever. You must have been able to see that.. but the break has changed everything.
Next piece of paper.
I don't know how much you know about her, I don't think anyone really knows much, but at the start of the holidays, she started to get really depressed.
Next piece of paper.
Which, naturally, got me kinda depressed. But, when I was depressed, because of her,she started to get pissed at me for being miserable, and she began getting more and more distant.
Next piece of paper.
I confronted her.. and we didn't talk for a day or two. But then all of a sudden she turned from being distant to being really demanding and possessive!
Next piece of paper.
Which, I don't know if you guessed, is why I couldn't go out toward the end of the holidays. And I really am sorry about that.. I don't know what came over me.. you guys should have come first. But.. well.. you understand.
Next piece of paper.
And now we're back at this dump (school, as in) She doesn't want to know any more! I'm left really not knowing what to do. This morning when she sent me that message to go to her, all she did was mock me.
Next piece of paper and Bella leaned into him as a kind of no-armed hug in sympathy.
I'm just.. wow this is going to sound stupid but.. I'm feeling really... unloved... which makes absolutely no sense.
What do you think I should do?
Bella scrunched up the last note and put it in her pocket, almost feeling like she wants to cry for him.. but she wasn't going to. He needed her.. She took a strip of paper for herself and thought of what she would write. She knew it would sound harsh. But harsh was what he needed. She eventually wrote:
Edward, do you love Tanya? Does she love you?
He read the note a few times. A few times too many, Bella thought. He mouthed to her "I don't know.." and put his head in his hands. Bella took one last strip of paper, summoned up every ounce of courage in her body, remembering what she had promised herself before school started, and wrote "Edward.. I love you"
She was just slipping Edward the note when it vanished from beneath her hand – and into Miss Glampson's. Bella crumpled onto the desk, in embarrassment and complete and utter defeat.
"Aww, Edward! Isn't that the cutest thing? She loves you!" The teacher spat the words with a mixture of sarcasm and amusement, before laughing along with the rest of those in the room. "I'll be seeing you both after class."
She walked over to the paper bin and dumped the note into it. "Get back to work, the lot of you."
The rest of the lesson was spent in painful silence; words wanted to be written and others to be screamed. But neither happened.
At the end of the lesson, the class filed out. All but Edward and Bella. They stayed sat at their desk, not daring to say a word, or even look at each other. Bella stared at the table in front of her, examining the pencilled on graffiti.. until it was sat on. She looked up to see Miss Glampson there with a soft expression on her face.
"Not a good way to start the year, guys, eh? Look. I don't know you yet, so I'm just going to let you off with a caution and trust you don't do it again, okay?" The two of them nodded. "Okay, good. Edward, you may go."
"I'll wait for you." He whispered to Bella as he picked up his bag and left.
"Bella.. it probably would have been wise if you had let me know that I sat you next to your boyfriend. He's going to distract – "
"He's not my boyfriend." Bella interrupted in a small voice.
"Ah, I see…" The older lady's eyes crinkled slightly as she smiled and the desk creaked as she got up and made her way to the paper waste, finding the little note and taking it out. She smoothed out any wrinkles and handed to back, bafflingly enough. "In that case, go get 'im." She chuckled slightly before going back to her own desk. "Just remember not to pass notes in my class again, yes?"
"Yes Miss." Bella said, finding her confidence once more, "And thank you." She quickly gathered her stuff, holding the note in her hand, and made her way out of the classroom where Edward was waiting.
"Wow! That was close." He smiled.
"Close?" She asked, as they started to walk.
"Yeah, close – she didn't read out the real notes. Now that would have been embarrassing, hey? It was childish of her to have made that joke though. Bit out of order."
Bella felt her heart sink and that new confidence seep out of her with her every breath. Though her voice was shaky and quiet, she still argued, "But that.. Actually.. Wasn't a joke.. I'd..Really written that.." Her speech cut off in a silent sob, as she looked up at Edward who was paying no attention to her; He had seen Tanya somewhere down the hall.
The note with those 3, stupid words on it slowly shrunk as it was torn into tiny fragments and scattered through the school grounds - along with the heart from which they came. Both left so they cannot be found or fixed. And maybe Bella and Edward were better off for it.
That night, Bella was lying awake in bed, as she could not get to sleep.
She then made the decision that this year would not be the year Edward knew about her feelings; but the year that they shall be eradicated.
She wasn't entirely sure how she was going to do it.
But she did know, that an idea would have to come to her soon. Otherwise, she might just fall apart.
Hope you liked :) R&R? *hint hint*