It's almost time- Hux thinks as he checks his phone for the tenth time that afternoon. He's not nervous. Well only slightly. He's not the one about to be interviewed on live television, but he may as well be given the uneasy sway of his stomach. Perhaps he's been infected with Kylo's jitters. Kylo, he knew, hated interviews, as they reminded him of tests and made him nervous. Nerves, Hux now shared.
"Boss?" said Mitaka, startling him from his thoughts. "The band's interview will be starting soon, if you want to watch it they have a green room…"
"Here's fine." Hux replies looking towards the small set and the crew bustling about around them. He folds his arms decisively, aware it's best to remain close, in case of issues.
Mitaka nods wearily. "Yes Boss. Should I get you a mineral water? You look a little flushed."
"It's this heat." Hux complains, "Please." He adds before dismissing his assistant.
With Mitaka gone, he turns to watch the show's preparations. The show is a live television broadcast of the biggest summer music festival, intercut with short interviews with the bands. Headlining the festival [and to a lesser extent this television appearance] is practically everything Hux has been working towards since he became Kylo's husband and manager. He has worked hard to make his sweetheart a star. Everything has to go well. No better than well. Fantastic. Hux blinks and realises he has unconsciously dug his fingers into his palms. Relaxing his grip, Hux focuses properly on the set and realises they're currently on a break, making Hux their only viewer.
"Ready?" Asks the Director talking to a pair of beautiful baby faced presenters who nod back.
"Yes! Yes we're ready Ma'am!" They chirp together, their heads bouncing up and down eagerly. Sitting side by side the male and female hosts look like a perfect couple. It's almost nauseating how cute they both are- Hux thinks looking at the twenty somethings. As he watches the girl takes her co-star's hand in her tanned hand and squeezes it reassuringly, as they wait for their show to start. Her co-host smiles back warmly. God I wish I was with Kylo holding his hand- He thinks, before wondering when exactly he turned into such a sap.
"Lights!" Someone shouts, which seems- unnecessary, given that they're outside in the blistering summer sun. But- he supposes, the British weather is anything but predictable. Which is probably why they have umbrellas on standby. Hux watches as the male host accidentally gets make up on his dark skin as he kisses his co-star. Ugh. Hux frowns, quickly looking away from the public demonstration of affection. That is definitely inappropriate and nauseating. Hux is not a prude, not exactly, it's mostly that watching them together makes him miss his Kylo, which is ridiculous since Kylo is just in the tent across the way. When he finally turns back a make-up artist is fixing the host's face.
The hosts have been presenting this show for about a week and a half. And the fans just love them. They're a hit on twitter and that other thing that's popular. At least according to Mitaka whose main job is to know the things Hux can't be bothered to learn and keep Hux calm. Thank Sith for that man- he thinks, before wondering why the hell his drink is taking so long.
Resisting the urge to check his phone again, Hux straightens his posture and clasps his hands together, one hand cradled tightly in the palm of the other. His thumb finds the soft underside of his ring finger and his wedding ring. He rubs his thumb over the smooth metal and reminds himself it's only a fifteen minute interview. It'll be practically over as soon as it starts.
"Cameras!" The Director yells, startling the camera man who was playing with his phone. He puts it away and focuses on the squares of hay and the hosts sitting on them. Why can't they just have sofas or chairs like normal people instead of that stupid Hipster shit? Hux frowns, and he looks at the monitor nearest him. Up close the presenters look slightly familiar, why though was a mystery as they don't watch this channel- except maybe one or two comedy shows. Mostly they curl up in bed and watch Netflix.
Hux casually tries to look closer at the pair squinting at the screen…
Then the female presenter twists her head and Hux notices her hair is done up in three stupid buns. He knows that look. I know her. Fuck. He reaches for his phone. He has to send Kylo a quick text and hopes he has a chance to read it or else things could get messy and quick.
In the few years since he'd seen her last, his adopted sister in law seems to have hardly changed. Rey has the same ridiculous hairdo and a terrible dress sense, wearing a bright yellow shirt and black tights under shorts. But with that healthy tan it doesn't really matter. Overall she looks great, which means- Kylo is going to be furious. Especially since Hux is the one who made him agree to do this interview for the exposure.
Wait. Double fuck. He thinks as he looks back at the male presenter sitting beside her. Yes, that is Rey's boyfriend Finn sitting next to her, looking neat in a dark top and white jeans.
Hux smiles- Finally good news, he thinks as Mitaka returns with his promised drink. Hux grabs the nearest cup from Mistake's tray and takes a large sip.
He gags mid drink and spits sending orange beverage everywhere.
"What is this? Carrot juice!?" Hux growled, throwing the rest of the disgusting drink to the ground. Why was everything going wrong today?
A few technicians give him dirty looks, and Hux stops. He closes his eyes and takes several deep breaths. It's not Mitaka's fault he's incompetent. "Are you trying to poison me Mitaka?" Hux asks trying to keep his voice at an acceptable level.
"No Boss!" Mitaka snivelled, shaking his head frantically.
"Then why did I just drink that foul concoction when I asked for water?" He asks pinching at his nose. Temper, temper.
"It,-it was my drink…" Mitaka mumbled anxiously holding out the other cup.
"Ah," Hux blushed embarrassed by his mistake. "Get another. My treat." He said handing Mitaka some cash and taking his water. Mitaka took the money and ran.
"Annnnnnnd we're live in three, two one…" Says the Director counting down. Hux turns his head and spies Kylo and his band members, standing just out of camera frame looking nervous. He can only hope Kylo looked at his messages. He bites his lip to stop himself calling out to his husband. It wouldn't be professional, he reminds himself aware of his minor mess up. His stomach churns and he wonders if Kylo has noticed yet exactly who is about to conduct his interview.
"..And that was the sound of the Guavian Death Gang performing their hit 'Money Heist' and their new song 'Death by Rathtars'." Finn says welcoming back the viewers and pretending to have actually heard the last band, which had been playing across the field, far away from them on the main festival stage.
"As you know performing later this evening is the infamous band, the Knights of Ren on the Purple stage." Rey says which would be helpful, except the only people watching this show are the ones too poor to afford to be here in person. Although hopefully not too poor to download albums off ITunes.
"Right now though we're honoured to have lead singer, Kylo Ren here in the studio with us!" Hux watches as Kylo is roughly pushed by his band members into the camera shot, while cowardly waiting out of sight for themselves to be announced.
Hux tries not to sigh, as Kylo stumbles and stares awkwardly at the hosts who are waiting for him to sit. "Aren't you going to announce my friends?" Kylo asks, after an awkward lengthy pause.
It was something Hux had been wondering himself, quickly searching for the booking details on his phone. Yes, right there. Kylo Ren and associates. It was even underlined.
The hosts look up at Kylo confused.
"It's a group interview isn't it?" Kylo asks turning back to his band for assurance. The Knights of Ren seem to take this as their cue to enter, barging in behind him like a mob of uncivilised Nerfherders.
Rey coolly tucks a strand of hair behind her ear, subtly touching the miniature headphone in her ear as she does so. She better be getting shouted at.
"Apologies dear viewers, I meant to welcome the entire Knights of Ren to the studio…" She pauses, as if uncertain of their names.
Fortunately Finn comes to her rescue. "Kylo, Tim, Zack and Leslie!" he says, just a little too loudly.
Tim smiles and waves at the camera as they shuffle over to the makeshift hay sofa. "With an introduction like that it feels almost like we weren't wanted." He jokes. "The rest of us can go if you want an exclusive with pretty boy Kylo." He adds slapping Kylo playfully on the shoulder.
"No, no, it's lovely to have you on the show! Please sit down." Rey says plastering a fake showbiz smile across her face.
Kylo and the rest of his band sit awkwardly on the hay and for a moment Hux isn't sure if Kylo even recognises Rey. After all it's been a long while since they've seen each other- Hux shudders remembering the sibling's big fight, and how Rey had begged him not to marry Hux… But then Kylo removes his shades and says, "Well this meeting was unexpected, Scavenger. Did being a temple priestess not work out? Did you get tired of all the ritual sacrifice?" He taunts childishly, apparently ready to reignite their so called bitter feud.
Finn starts, "So how are you- ?"
"-We're great! We've been up early enjoying the festival, listening to the different bands from backstage." Zack replies excitedly cutting in before Finn can even finish the sentence.
"So you're enjoying the festival?" Finn asks, fiddling with the prompt cards in his hands.
"Oh yeah. I love going to them and performing at them. It's great. We've been here since Friday." Zack grins. He sounds like a twelve year old on too much candy. He's wearing a t-shirt with what looks like cartoon robots having sex on it [although Hux is only 80% sure]. Beside him Tim isn't much better wearing ugly mud splattered wellies and plain black t-shirt. Both of them must be sweating in their skinny jeans. He closes his eyes and prays no one else notices how badly dressed they are. Not that anyone really cares what anyone is wearing at festivals. [Hux himself is slumming it today albeit in a loose shirt and smart mint chinos].
"So talk us through your festival attire? Some would say it's more casual look than you're used to. You usually prefer performing in black don't you Kylo?" Rey asks sounding as if she disapproves of the band's fashion choices.
"I'm comfortable with my body, plus I'd rather not get heat stroke." Kylo says biting at his lip, a sign he's uncomfortable with the question. Personally Hux doesn't get why Rey is being so insulting, Kylo looks very handsome in his red lumberjack shirt, which shows off his muscular chest. The short black shorts, look great too, especially since Hux had held Kylo down and waxed his legs.
"I think our fans won't care what we wear, they're here for the music." Leslie cuts in, and Hux can tell from her body language she's upset no one has mentioned her flowery jumpsuit or the ocean blue earing's. Of the group she's the best dressed, but then she always is.
Rey nods and smiles. "Of course."
"I just hope that everyone is dancing and having a good time." Zack says before going on to say something about the band's fanbase that Hux doesn't catch because Mitaka chooses that moment to return with a green smoothie.
"That looks foul." Hux hisses quietly, watching Mitaka take a sip.
Mitaka frowns sadly. "You know Thanisson put me on a diet for the wedding."
"So Knights of Ren are you festival virgins?" Rey asks reading off her card and looking at the group curiously. Hux chokes on his water. Who on earth wrote this trash? Surely it was far too early to mention such a word on television, if at all.
Leslie politely laughs. "I think I can safely say none of us our virgins..."
"Oh? No?" She says sounding far too surprised considering half the group is married.
Hux cringes and hides his head in his hands, remembering belatedly that there was a reason why they never did live interviews anymore. They almost always ended up causing controversy. Honestly it stressed Hux out. It was at times like this Hux wished he'd decided to be manager of his coffee shop empire [the one he shared with Phasma] instead of Kylo. Hux turns ready to strangle his assistant Mitaka who was in charge of the booking. How he could mess it up on such a colossal scale. For some reason Mitaka was smiling. It was annoying and made Hux want to kill him all the more. Thanks for nothing, you useless reptile Mitaka.
"This is great Boss! The internet is going crazy. Everyone is loving Kylo and his band." Mitaka whispered showing him, his phone.
Oh. Well. Good.
Leslie opens her mouth to say more, but Kylo interrupts. "Of course not. We've done a lot of festivals. I even spent my honeymoon touring with the band, and Hux of course. It was the best summer."
"That does sounds great!" Finn smiles, a proper professional.
"It was, unless you had the tent next to them." Tim murmured with a smirk.
Everyone laughs at that.
Next to Hux, Mitaka's phones starts vibrating in his hands, as the internet explodes again.
Rey however leans in closer looking ready for a fight.
"I don't want to make you feel nervous but it's a predominantly rock event, how does that make you feel about getting up on the stage later?"
What a bitch. -Kylo please be professional. Remember you're on television.
"Why would we feel nervous?" Kylo frowns. "We are a rock group. It's an honour to perform at this festival. We're looking forward to performing."
Good boy.
"Plus we're very cool. People want to see us." Adds Tim un-ironically.
"So you don't feel intimidated by the older long haired rockers?" Rey questions determined to push the topic.
"Of course not. They're totally cool. We went for ice creams with Darth Maul." Leslie boasts, "He totally wants me bad."
"That dude is super chill! We took a bunch of selfies!" Tim blurts eager for some attention.
"Besides we're used to hanging out with old rockers, my Grandpa's Darth Vader."Klyo reminds Rey unnecessary.
"Right, yeah no, I just thought you might have felt out of place amongst the other big names, performing this weekend because you know, you're on the weirder side of the genre..."
"Weirder side?" Zack squeaks indignant.
Leslie cuts in, slapping a hand over Kylo's stupid face before he could say anything. "Well we don't agree."
Tim continues. "Our songs aren't weird, they're relatable. About real life, things people experience."
Kylo nods eagerly, Leslie's hand still tightly clamped on his face. What must the viewers' think? Hux wonders trying not to laugh at the spectacle.
"What about that song, about space?" Rey queries.
"Which one? I've written a whole album." Kylo replies having wriggled out of Leslie's grasp by licking her hand.
"Exactly. And space is hardly relatable to real life." Rey retorts with a nasty grin.
"Rude. Technically we live in space. It's awesome. And if you understood my music you'd know it's an analogy to do with dealing with the future and uncertainty. Plus lasers are cool. "
"Riiight."
"So, um, Death Star- It's a great album." Finn interrupts, trying to get the interview back on track.
"But,what was your main inspiration when you wrote it?"
"Hux. You know. My Husband."
"That's sweet." Finn chirps.
"No, I mean, he bugged me to write another, so I did just to shut him up..." Kylo continues. Mitaka quietly tries to stifle his laughter, pressing his drink to his face to hide a grin.
Lovely. I feel soooo loved, you dick.
"Kylo will be sleeping outside the yurt tonight." He declares.
"Does he always pressure you? Into writing music I mean?" Rey asks sounding genuinely concerned.
"Boss…"
"It's fine Mitaka." Hux already knew what Rey thought of him.
Kylo shakes his head. "Stop Rey. You're twisting my words. Hux is the best husband in the world. He brings out the best in me. He loves me and wants us to succeed. We're a team. Sometimes we fight yeah, but. Every couple fights. If it wasn't for him, my band would still be playing at the local pub. He's my inspiration."
"He's my inspiration, my everything." Zack repeats clasping his hands together mockingly while Leslie makes kissing noises.
Tim groans, "God you sound so gay!"
"I am gay! Shut up you dick." Kylo growls turning towards his band mate. "You're just jealous I have someone who loves me. All you have is your right hand."
"Whoa- dude." Stutters Tim, "I do not, many people find me attractive!"
"People!? Who?" Kylo laughs.
"Guys please stop!" Leslie begs.
"Well, at least I didn't marry the first person who batted their eyes at me, scar face" Tim hisses.
Behind the cameras Mitaka grabs Hux's arm to stop him running over and punching Tim in his stupid face. How dare he insult his beloved?
"Don't you dare bring in Hux's perfect eyelashes into this!" Kylo retorts getting more and more annoyed with Tim.
"We're live on air, please don't fight." Finn chimes in, looking concerned.
"Stay out of this Finn! It's none of your business. I'm tired of your attitude Tim. Don't you dare insult my husband!"
"You wanna fight? Cause I'm ready to go!" Tim yells loudly.
"Just try me." Kylo growls clenching his fists.
The two stand up, and without warning start shoving each other trying to knock the other down.
"Shouldn't we try and stop them?" Rey asks looking worried as Kylo knocks Tim to the ground and starts shoving hay down his shirt.
Zack shrugs. "They always fight. It's normal."
"We are banned from so, so many places because of these idiots." Leslie adds with a nod and a sigh.
"Right well, um, I'm afraid that's all we have time for viewers, please enjoy the sounds of Feral Ewoks!" Finn says taking action. He walks in front of the fight, waving goodbye to the viewers.
As soon as the cameras turn off Hux is on the move, storming towards the band. "That was the worst interview yet Kylo." He says smiling warmly at his idiot husband. "That fight's all over the internet." He adds helping Tim up.
"It went well then. So Ice cream?" Tim asks picking hay off (and out of) his outfit.
"Yeah." Kylo agrees turning to look over at Hux, "Babe do you want to come get ice cream with us?"
"Yes. A triple Strawberry cone." Hux punches him playfully. "I wish you'd tell me your plans in advance idiot."
Kylo shrugs. "I want the fights to seem realistic babe." He explains wrapping his arms around Hux and pulling him into a kiss. "You should have told me that Rey was a part of it. She seemed so mean."
Hux bit his lip. "Um. Sweetheart? That was all her. She wasn't in on it. She just works for the studio."
"Oh. Then…" Kylo turns and glances over his shoulder at Rey whose still gaping at the destruction they had caused to the set. "I still hate you sis. So much. You know that right?"