Nanao Ise was annoyed. Why, on today of all days when the stack of papers on her desk was so high that she couldn't see over it, did Captain Ukitake have to be hanging around the Division 8 office?
She looked down at her paper, then up at the man who was rocking back and forth in his chair, then back down again. "Well, it's like I said, Captain, I really don't know where Captain Kyoraku is right now. He never really showed up this morning."
Jushiro Ukitake sighed. "You wouldn't mind if I waited here for a few more minutes, would you? I just, I can't go back to my division yet."
"Why is that?" Nanao asked through a clenched jaw, struggling to maintain a civil tone.
"It's Koetsu-san and Kotsubuki-san! They are driving me absolutely insane today!" he confessed. "It's always 'Captain Ukitake, I'm going to finish all of this paperwork myself because Kotsubuki-san is an ape-faced moron' then 'Captain Ukitake, I'm going to finish all of that paperwork before she does because Koetsu-san is a scrawny weakling' and in the end, they never finish anything! I cannot spend one more second with the two of them. I just wish that they had someone else to bother!"
Kind of like I'm wishing right now, Nanao thought. Luckily at that moment, Captain Kyoraku arrived.
"Good morning, Nanao-chan! Hey Juu-chan, what brings you to the 8th?"
"Captain!" Nanao practically jumped up from her chair, narrowly avoiding knocking one of her stacks of papers over. "Where have you been? I was looking for you everywhere!"
"Did you miss me Nanao-chan? Sorry, I fell asleep under that tree outside. I just woke up because Captain Kurotsuchi and his daughter were really going at it, you could hear them yelling at each other across the whole ." He then turned to Captain Ukitake "Hey, you want to go get a drink?"
"Shunshui, it's not even lunch time yet."
"Exactly! I like to get an early start. Nanao-chan won't mind, will you? I'm sure you don't want us in here annoying you while you're trying to work."
"Of course," Nanao said, "You two go on and have fun!" Finally, some quiet time alone, she thought as they left. Now she would be able to work in peace. Thank goodness that Captain Kyoraku and Captain Ukitake had each other so that they had someone else to bother. Wait, someone else to bother? Wasn't that just what Captain Ukitake had said? Suddenly, Nanao had the perfect idea of how to get everyone in the Gotei 13 to get along. But she was going to need some help. Good thing she had the perfect partner in crime in mind.
"Nanao, that's an amazing idea!" Rangiku told her friend. "I've had it up to here with my captain complaining about the paperwork, and I would absolutely love to set him up on a date! Then he'd have some other girl to bother and something else to think about."
"Exactly what I was thinking! But I don't know how we're going to be able to convince everyone to participate."
"Well," said Rangiku after a moment, "The way I see it, we'll have to go straight to General Yamamoto; he's the only one with the authority to make everyone do something."
"How are we going to persuade him that this is a good idea?"
"Well, I happen to know that Vice-Captain Sasakibe just went through a really nasty breakup; he's in the bar practically every night. He just needs the right woman to take his mind off his troubles. Don't you think General Yamamoto would appreciate having a sober lieutenant around to do the paperwork?"
Nanao smiled, glad that she was lucky to have such a helpful friend.
"Abarai! What is this paper on my desk?"
"It's orders from General Yamamoto, Captain Kuchiki. We all have to participate, "for the cause of peace and brotherhood", in this dating service. Apparently, he thinks it will help us all get along better."
"Well, just make sure you fill out my form or whatever. I'm way too busy to be bothered with something like that."
"Yes, sir," Renji muttered under his breath.
"There is no way I'm filling that thing out! I have better things to do!"
"But Captain, General Yamamoto said that we have to!" Ikkaku Madarame insisted. He turned to his friend Yumichika Ayasegawa, who was already engrossed in filling out his own form, for back-up.
"It's not that bad, Captain. Look, I'm even using a purple pen, that way my form will be the most beautiful."
"I don't have time for this!" Kenpachi Zaraki thundered. He turned and stormed out of the office.
Vice-Captain Yachiru Kusajisji chose this moment to pop in on her fellow Division 11 members.
"What did you guys do to Kenny? He looks really angry."
"The captain won't fill out his form, and now I'm sure we're going to be in trouble with the General!" Ikkaku said.
"I want to fill it out!" She wasn't allowed to participate in the grown up game, but Yachiru though it seemed fun. Maybe she could help Kenny find a nice lady friend. She stole a pink pen off Yumichika's desk and grabbed Kenny's paper.
"Okay, name. Kenny. Division, 11th , the best one ever! Hobbies/interests…."
"Okay Nanao, this is the last of them," Rangiku said as she entered Nanao's office carrying a box stuffed with papers. "And I have my captain's right here," she said, putting one last sheet on top.
"How'd you get him to fill that out?" Nanao asked. She still couldn't get Captain Kyoraku to sit still long enough to finish his.
"Oh, I just put it in one of the piles on his desk. When he gets to down to business, I don't think he even reads his papers that closely. He probably never knew what he was signing himself up for."
Nanao laughed. "So," she said, looking around at the forms that had joined her paperwork "how are we going to match everyone up? It'll take us forever to sort through all of these."
"Well, I actually have a few ideas about that…."