Prologue: Un apagón inusual.
I, out of habit, once again took my phone and opened the SpeedTest app to test the speed of my internet connection before trying to log into GTA: Online in my trusty PS3 and… The results were more disappointing than usual: Ping of 583 ms, download speed 783 kb/ps, and an upload speed of 83 kb/ps. I know CANTV's my ISP but… Verga, I can't believe how slow this shit is.
"Who is downloading something or in a video call?" I loudly ask to anyone in the house
Promptly, my aunt Dubisay and my cousin Javier answer.
"Ay mijo, I am talking with your aunt Elena who left for Chile! I hope you don't mind!" She loudly answers from one of the living rooms
"Sorry panita, I'm downloading a game" Javi nonchalantly answers leaning against the wall, next to the router, and with his Canaimita netbook and a notebook on his lap
"Marico, can't it wait?" I ask him, annoyed
"No chamo, there's no internet at my house, some marditos stole the lines of my street, so I'm taking the chance to download this and do my Cátedra homework" He says as he's writing down something
I groan in annoyance and resignation.
"Bah, coño e' la madre… Okay, How much does that weigh? I wanna play GTA: Online"
"Not much, 258 megas and it's already by should be done in an hour y pico"
"Okey. Tell me when it's done so I can resetear the modem, this verga is slooooow right now" I add
"¿Cómo? But my download's flying!" He counters
"Chamo, you guys pay for the un mega plan, but I pay for the diez megas plan, and ahorita this is slower than a morrocoy"
"Either way…" I take a seat next to him "What are you downloading?"
He quickly shows me the page from where he was downloading the game, and the first thing I see are four anime girls posing for the camera against a pink background. Vaya vírgen.
"Otaku 'er coño" I tease him
"Váyase pa' la verga. I'm downloading this game because there is a boom with it right now, it's trending on the English communities of the internet and I'm being flooded with memes of it" He explains
"¿Y cómo porqué?" I try to dig deeper
"Yo no sé. I haven't looked deeper and my online friends tell me I should just play it, and that spoilers would ruin the experience"
"Verga. Sounds interesting, pasáme the RAR file later okay?"
"Gimme the pen drive de una pues"
I fetch my pen drive from my PS3 and pass it to him.
"If I find it infected with the recycler virus again. Te parto a coñazos" I threaten him, recalling the last time I borrowed him a pen drive
"Formatié this thing last weekend, it should be clean" He reassures
"It better be coño e' tu madre, when my PC got infected I had to install Windows Vista because of your cagada"
He shudders at the mere mention of that OS.
"Verga, I get it, too much suffering si la cago"
You also might be wondering who I am, and I'll answer that one question for you: I'm Luis Quero, Venezolano, Maracucho, college drop-out of 19 years of age who stands at a meter with 76 because he is sedentary as shit, and is better off than most because he knew that shit was going down here in la patria querida. My eyes are set on emigrating to Chile because the situation is worsening, and I'm pretty sure that in 2018 it'll be unbearable. I'm very deeply involved in the foreign currency black market and I'm earning a nice buck from this, so I'm investing it in skirting around the bureaucracy that wraps this country so I can leave as legal as I can.
And with this, I just retreat to my PS3 once again, and since I can't play GTA: Online I'll just play Just Cause 2. Gotta topple Pandak Panay yo!
Eventually, time passes, I get bored of Just Cause, and Javi's download finishes, but Dubisay is encadenada talking with aunt Elena, so I take an interest in Javier's newly-downloaded game.
"Doki Doki Literature Club?" I ask perplexed as I look at the folder he created for the game files
"Yep, that's the name of this thing" He blandly replies
"Verga, sounds cheesy, but I don't think that's why this is a meme"
"Bueno primo, there's only one way to find out why…" He just double-clicks the executable after saying this
He boots the game and, guess what? He gets a screen that basically works as a disclaimer that tells you that you should be older than 13 to play the game and that it's not for those who are easily disturbed.
"Ya va. What?" I blandly say, with obvious confusion on my voice
"We're going to tell this… That we accept… It's like a EULA" Javi mutters to himself as he clicks one of the two prompts on the screen, and the background picture suddenly fades into color, revealing the four girls we saw on the download page, then it fades into white and… Really childish music starts to play.
This game is not suitable for children or those who are easily disturbed. An ominous warning read as the music played
"Marico, I can't help but get the feeling that we're getting into something macabre" I say, a bit nervous
Doki Doki! The four girls from before suddenly pop into view, with the brown-haired one extending her hand to us, the men behind the screen, and inviting us to begin the game
"Pana, this can't be macabre at all, it could be pornographic, it's a visual novel after all…" He clicks the 'New Game' button and he is prompted to enter a name "Ehh… How should we call our character?"
We think about it for a second before saying our idea at the same time.
"Marico!"
We laugh at our antic for a while before simmering down once again.
"Ha~ What are we? Five-year-olds?" Javi suggests
"Hey! I still can't get over Maduro multiplying the penises!" I chime in
"Cierto, but 'Marico' will be his name"
"I couldn't agree more…"
And with that he hits 'OK', and we go down the rabbit hole…
Later…
"¡Pana! ¡Las tetas! Go for Yuri! She has an amazing pair of tetas!" I suggest somewhat loudly to Javier
"Man! But tetas grandes just fill your hand! Natsuki's flat chest will fill your heart" He counters, showing his true colors
"Verga, you turned out to be an asaltacunas" I tease
"I just like cute and small women!"
"Call the LOPNA! We have an asaltacunas in our family!"
"¡Calláte mardito!"
"¡Se picó!" I chant victorious
Even later…
"Verga, Sayori's breaking into my heart…" I weakly say
"Chamo, who could guess that she has depression?" Javi tells me, at a loss
"Pana, we must protect Sayori"
"Teneís razón. Forget the others, the priority must be Sayori"
"Amén a eso mi pana"
When the shit goes down…
"AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH" Javi screams frantically at the mere sight of Sayori's body hanging from the noose
"Coño… ¡Coño no! ¡COÑO E' LA MADRE NO! ¡¿VERGACIÓN PORQUÉ?!" I scream in despair
THE END.
Javier and I are at a loss for words, Sayori killed herself and there was nothing we could do due to the fact that we realized about her depression too late. We feel… Broken, empty… Evil. And all of this for a videogame character out of all things.
"Verga pana… How unjust" Javi tells me after he has calmed down
"No digaís… I feel like I just got stabbed right into the feels" I state, feeling really down
"Hey… Wanna give it another shot?" He proposes
"Claro primo, Sayori didn't deserve that"
He grabbed the computer, clicked and waited for the home screen to appear, and when it did... He just got mad.
"¡Marico! ¡¿Y SAYORI?!" He said in rage
"Coño, what are you talking about-" I take a peek at the screen, seeing an amalgamation of the remaining girls in Sayori's place on the main menu "¡¿Y DÓNDE COÑO E' LA MADRE ESTÁ?! ¡¿QUÉ ES ESTA VAINA CHICO?!"
We also notice the corrupted 'New Game' button.
"¡Pana! What happened with this game?" Javier asks
"¿Que voy a saber yo chico? I wouldn't be surprised if the game's corrupted, after all, CANTV's internet is sucking today" I answer, trying to get the best explanation out of the situation
"Well, I'm just going to load a previous savegame…" He tries to do what he says, only to stumble upon a 'Corrupted savegame, starting a new game' message "¿Qué verga?"
"A la… Bueno, it's starting a new game anyway"
And the game continues it's corruption.
"I think that you might have been right with the macabre shit" Javier admits
"¿Marico? You think?" I counter sarcastically
Some scary shit later…
We were shaken, stirred, and everything in between with what we saw, from Natsuki's neck snapping, to Yuri's eyes becoming photorealistic, passing through Monika's name ominously popping left and right (Making us suspicious), to virtually everything else that freaked us out. Now Yuri's confessing her deranged love to us, and we ain't having any of that.
"Primo, in normal circumstances I'd tell you to accept her confesión, but this is anything but normal, click no" I advise Javier, who has the power this time around
"With pleasure" And then he does what I said
Javi clicks 'no' and then Yuri starts laughing, and laughing, and laughing… ¿¡ESPERÁTE!? IS THAT A KNIFE?!
And well… I guess you know the rest. Javier skipped to the part where the other girls arrived and… We honestly kinda expected Monika's attitude toward the situation, I think her name popping everywhere kinda gave it away /s.
"Bueno… Now what?" He says after being fifteen minutes into Monika's talk
"I mean, I wouldn't mind hearing Monika talk a bit more…" I say, paying almost no attention to him and reading Monika's dialogue, she's now talking about religion and stuff, and I'll be honest: Her viewpoints are pretty great and reasonable
"Marico… We gotta make the game go forward" He says blandly but with authority
"Okey… So, what do we do?"
Monika then starts talking about her .chr file. Javier is the first to notice it.
"I've got an idea…"
We then move on to delete her, pressing Alt+Tab, going to her file, and sending it to the recycle bin, we then watch as she agonizes and pronounces her last words.
"I still love you…"
"Mood" I blankly say
"Well, that's that then" Javi says in the same state as me
"Aguanta, the game is starting up again"
The game then starts again… With every girl but Monika in the splash screen at the beginning.
"Bueno, let's just do it one. More. Time" I say as I drive to cursor to the 'New Game' button and press it
One emotional closure later…
"And if I don't know how to love you~… I'll leave you be"
THE END.
"Coño e' la madre, Monika is a fallen angel… Honestly, every-single-one of those girls is a fallen angel of sorts, they didn't deserve any of that" I say, breaking up in tears
"Cierto… Also, what a graceful fall from Grace by Monika… Still: Natsuki best girl" Javi quickly assures himself with that, but I know he's broken as I am on the inside
"Vergación. Vaya brevas. Why are you two crying over a videogame? Santísimo Sacramento" Aunt Dubisay says, finally done talking with aunt Elena
"Mami, we're crying because it was an emotional, shocking, and unexpected experience" Javi tells aunt, and she still doesn't believe it
"A ver cuerda e' brevas. How about I play this game you guys have been playing for the last six hours?" She proposes defiantly
"Trato, but it's in English, so we'll have to translate it for you" I add, clearly hopping onto this boat
"Install it on your PC though, my Canaima's about to die" Javier adds
"Sure, give me the pen drive with the files"
Javier gives me the pen drive, and I get on it. It doesn't take too much time though, considering it's just a RAR file ready to be decompressed. I start up the game, ready up my English-Spanish translating skills, and give the computer's office chair to my aunt so she can sit down.
"Alright mami. Luis is going to start up the game, are you ready?" Javi tells his mom
"Stop giving largas to the matter and let's do this brevera"
I double click the executable and it runs as expected but when the disclaimer screen shows… It's different from before…
"¿A ver brevas? What does that screen say?" She says, obviously impatient
"Do you pledge to protect, serve, and love each one of these girls?" I read carefully
"¡Pfft! Que buena brevera. Let's just get this over with" Aunt Dubisay quickly grabs the mouse and hits the 'Yes, I pledge' button, setting the game in motion
The music starts to play, the warning shows up, but now it reads 'Dokis coming your way', the Team Salvato logo shows up and then…
The lights go out.
We can only hear as the neighborhood goes up in unison.
"MADURO COÑO E' TU MADREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE~"
"Verga, how anti-climatic" Javi says out of the blue
"Coño, how precise…" Aunt Dubisay quips and then looks for me "Luis! Turn on your phone's flashlight so we can go unplug stuff, give me the time, then add four hours to it"
"A ver…" I start the flashlight and then look at the time "It's 6:04 P.M, lights come back at ten"
" 'Joda… light up my way, we gotta unplug the AC, TVs, and the fridge" Dubisay gives bits of advice of what should be done as per usual
"I'll stay around here for a second though mami, I gotta turn off the Canaima" Javier says as he retreats to the only source of light other than my phone's flashlight, his Canaima netbook
"Bueno pues, let's get going" Aunt mutters to herself
As we're disconnecting some devices at my mother's room, we hear a loud scream from Javier, followed by a ray of light coming from where he was.
"Javi?! What's going on? ¿Llegó la Luz?" Aunt says worried
"¡MAMI! ¡LUIS! COME HERE NOW!" Javier screams scared, making us recklessly run so we can assist
"¡¿QUÉ PASA?!" Both aunt and I scream as loud as we can so we can be heard
"LOOK! THE PC!" Javi says as he points toward it
Aunt and I take a look at the PC and… We couldn't believe it. The thing was turned on even though the voltage regulator was off because there was no electricity. The PCs monitor was pure white, and the CPU was working at full speed since I could hear the fan of the cooler working at its limit to avoid overheating. We don't know what's going to happen, but the best bet is getting the hell out.
"JAVI! COME HERE! LET'S GET OUT OF HERE!" I scream in instinct, to which both of my companions respond with complying
We run towards the entrance and as we got out I closed the door behind me, we get out through the gate and once we get to the sidewalk on the other end of the Street, we look back. We couldn't see anything, but something was going on.
BANG!
We hear something exploding inside, but it isn't the typical explosion ignited by fuel, it sounds like… An LCD screen being plowed through and the short circuits that come with such an act.
"¡A la verga! What was that neighbor?" One of my neighbors: Alejandro. Scantily dressed with just a pair of shorts, asks
"¡Ni idea! Want to help us find out?" I ask him
"¡Ya voy! Stay in there Luis!"
After a minute, he comes to us fully dressed with a striped polo shirt, a pair of jeans, and a pair of white sneakers.
"Vámonos Luis, let's see what happened"
We enter through the gate and we open the door and… The house is full of smoke, I turn on my phone's flashlight one again, it increases visibility ever so slightly.
"Cable quemao, smells like cable quemao!" Alejandro yells at us, but since he's right behind me my ears are ringing
The smoke starts to clear, and we approach the place where my PC's at.
"This must be the epicenter" I state
I light up the computer desk and… The monitor is blown, it looked punched from the inside, but there's no-one who could've done that obviously, the CPU looked fine, but the computer chair was covered in pieces of the LCD screen, I light up the floor in front of me and I see…
Four girls, one with peach hair adorned by a red bow, other with pink hair, one with long, dark hair, and one with brown hair, kept together by a sizeable white bow. All of them in Japanese High School uniforms.
La nota: Hi everyone, Lima here. I know I haven't even finished my other DDLC fanfic, but this is just a little story (No longer than 10 chapters I hope) I decided to make during a programmed 6-hour power cut and a (hopefully momentary) lack of inspiration to complete Adrian's story. The premise is perhaps the most (un)original thing I could have come up with: The Dokis ending up in crisis-stricken Venezuela out of all places at the care of a guy that wants them off his back as soon as possible so he can become a part of the Bolivarian Diaspora. There will be struggle, despair, disregard for human life, corruption, politics, and most importantly, humor! It's set on Venezuela after all.
Now. Perhaps the most unique thing about this story is the abundance of Venezuelan Spanish phrases and slang used throughout the dialogue, and after each chapter, there will be a section explaining the meaning of each phrase and/or slang, take it as a glossary:
Verga: Lit. Penis. In the context used it means shit or damn, overtly used as a filler word in Maracaibo.
Vaina: Non-vulgar filler word. Normally used to replace 'Verga'.
Vergación: Stronger version of "Verga", commonly used in Maracaibo to denote frustration and/or awe.
Encadenado(a): Lit. Chained. In the context used it means a person who just can't shut up
Mijo: Diminutive of "Mi Hijo". Meaning "My son" in English.
Pana: Friend, partner.
Marico: Lit. Queer. In Venezuelan Spanish, it can either conserve its original meaning as an insult or be used to address a friend.
Primo: Lit. Cousin. In Venezuelan Spanish, it can also mean "friend".
Cagar, cagada: Lit. Take a shit and turd respectively. In the context used it means 'fuck it up' and 'fuck up' respectively.
Breva, brevera: Breva is used to undermine a person who isn't very attentive to the world surrounding them, whilst brevera is used to insult the activities they make.
Mardito: A damned thing or person.
Asaltacunas: Lit. Baby stroller jumper. In the context used it means an older person who likes minors sexually.
Nojoda/'Joda: A word to express disappointment, and/or unconformity.
Picarse, picó: Getting salty and/or touchy after friendly banter hits too close to home, picó is in the past tense.
Formatiar/formatié: To perform a hard reset on a device or formatting a flash drive, formatié is in the past tense.
Resetear: Same as above, sans the formatting part.
Megas: Used to refer to Megabytes and Megabits.
Largas: Delays/Delaying something.
CANTV: The unreliable, slow, state-owned internet service provider.
LOPNA: The Venezuelan ministry of protection to minors.
Cable quemao: Burnt wires/wiring.
Llegó la Luz: Lit. Lights have arrived. In the context used it means that electricity has returned after a blackout.
Coño de la madre/Coño de tu madre: The former is used to express that something isn't okay, whilst the latter is used to call someone a son of a bitch.
This glossary can and will be extended on future entries.