CHAPTER ONE – Life as a Soldier

EPOV

It just didn't feel right standing here, when I should be back on the front lines with the rest of my unit. The crisp, fresh air that I was breathing in, wasn't thick or saturated in dust. What should have been sand and rocks under my feet, was green grass and paving. Bright sunflowers that Bella must of planted while I was away blurred my vision, instead of the hot Afghanistan sun. This just didn't feel right.

My Commanding Officer informed me last night after I got back from night duties, that I was being issued two weeks leave. So here I was coming home to see my family before I was to return and resume my mission. Now I stood , standing at the front door to my house on base and I couldn't find it within myself to go inside.

The house was dark, but that didn't surprise me since it was 0200 and Bella and the kids would be asleep. I always missed my whole family while I was away. I missed my parents and there undying support. I missed my brother Emmett and his wife Rosalie, however I doubt that she missed me since she didn't really like me much.

I wanted to see my twin sister Alice the most. Since we were kids we had, had this connection that made us closer than most people. I was also a little worried about her since her husband and my best friend Jasper was currently serving in Iraq. Unlike Bella and Rosalie, who had the kids, Alice was alone and I needed to know that she was alright.

But most of all I missed Bella and the kids. It was always hard and painful whenever I came back after long tours. I haven't been present for any of Bella's pregnancies, nor have I been there for any of the kids births. I have missed most of all their firsts. First steps, first word, first day at school. I have missed so many birthday's and Christmas' that I have lost count of how many. It breaks my heart to see how old they've gotten since I've been gone. To see how much time has passed.

Inserting the spare key that is hidden under the pot plant at the front, I turn the door knob and go inside. Placing my duffel bag on the floor near the front door, I quietly creep up the stairs and stop at the first door on the left. Pushing the door open, blue light spills out onto the carpet in front of me. My sons night light sends starts sprinkling across the walls. My eldest, Anthony Charles Cullen, laid curled up underneath his blankets.

I still can't believe at times, that he was nearly eight years old already. Bella fell pregnant with him just weeks before I was to deploy for my first tour. We weren't trying, so he came as a big surprise. I didn't get to watch Bella grow with him and I wasn't there when she brought him into the world. He was already three days old, when my Commander came and told me that I was the proud father to a son and that mother and baby were doing well. The first time I actually got to see him in person and not through photographs, he was already six months old.

I could see his mothers dark brown hair peaking out from the tops of the blanket and behind those closed eyelids, I knew my green eyes hid. Leaving my son sleeping, I closed the door and walked across the hall and peaked into the second bedroom, where my six year old daughter slept, splayed out over her Pink My Little Pony sheets.

Billie Elizabeth Cullen came into the world while I was away on my second tour. Bella was five months pregnant when I was deployed. At least, with Billie I was there for some of Bella's pregnancy. I had just gotten out of a fire fight when the news came that I had a daughter. Billie had my unruly bronze hair, but she had her mother's beautiful brown eyes. I left her hugging her teddy bear and drifted down the hall.

To my left was my sleeping sons and to my right was my sleeping wife. Turning to my left, I opened my son's room and gazed in at their innocent faces. Matthew Rowan Cullen or Baby A as he was called until his birth was asleep on the bottom bunk. I couldn't even see him he was buried down into the blankets that far. Both the twins had my bronze hair and green eyes, but Matthew had Bella's features. William Michael Cullen or Baby B was eight minutes younger than his brother and was the spitting image of me.

Bella fell pregnant before my third tour, however I was already deployed by the time she found out. I was stationed in a really remote area at the time, so I had found out that I was going to be a father again by mail. I found out everything by letters that we wrote to each other. This was the way that I found out that we were having twins, what their sex's were and when they were born. Bella and I even had to decide their names through letters and that was no easy task when it takes weeks to get mail out there.

I couldn't believe that was three years ago now and the boys had grown so much. I left my boys sleeping in their bunks. Closing the door, I walked over to the last door on the right, where I knew my wife was sleeping. I hadn't seen Bella in 14 months. A phone call here and there and a couple of letters was all the contact we had since my deployment for my fourth tour.

Our marriage hadn't been a happy one for some time now. I still loved Bella and wanted to spend the rest of my life with her. But I knew that this life was starting to wear on her. The rules, the expectations, the loneliness that I knew she felt. Bella was essentially doing everything on her own.

I also knew that Bella was starting to feel restless. Bella gave up her dreams of going to college and becoming a teacher to stand by me while I lived out my dreams. She thought it was about her turn and that it was time for me to do the same for her. She is right, but I just didn't want to stop and that was causing Bella to become resentful.

Opening our bedroom door, I stepped in to gaze at the woman I love and even after all these years she still took my breath away. Bella was curled up underneath the comforter on the left side of the bed. Her side. My side was empty and waiting for me.

I was hesitant to get in. I wasn't sure how I would be received by her. The last time that we had seen each other, we had fought. I had promised Bella that I would be home for awhile and I could help her out with the kids. But I was offered the chance to do a fourth tour and I just couldn't turn the opportunity down. Bella was not happy. I had broken my promise to her. It was just one of the many promises over the last years that I had broken to her.

I took my skives off and slid into my side of the bed with just my boxers on. The mattress under my back felt like heaven after 14 months sleeping on ground or rock hard bunks. I shuffled over so that I was spooning Bella's tiny frame. Moving her hair behind her ear, I stared down at her beautiful face. A heavenly sight after everything that I have seen. I peppered kisses along her shoulder and along her neck. Bella murmured in her sleep and snuggled back into my embrace. After about five minutes of repeating the same path up and down her shoulders and neck, her eyes opened. Sleepily she turned in my arms and for the first time in 14 months I looked into her doe brown eyes.

" Edward?"

" Hi love, I'm home"