I OWN NOTHING OF THE SORTS BEING MENTIONED IN THE SHORTS!

ALPHABETICAL SNIPPETS OF LIVES OF PERSONNEL OF THE USS ENTERPRISE:

*Here are some short snippets of the lives of the crew man of the Enterprise, some you'll recognize and some you wont but here is where a cracked-out round robin done by friends and me. Enjoy!

A- Allergies

"Godammit Jim, is there anything in the universe that you are NOT allergic too?" Bones yelled at him in the mess hall, the heads of the crew turned and saw their Captain running away from their Chief Medical Officer brandishing a hypo-spray.

"Stay away from me with that thing Bones. I am not a fucking donkey you can pin a tail to!" was Jim's response, weaving in and out of the tables and the people in the mess hall, using all his skills to escape his best friend.

"Apples, Pears, Gramicidin, even fucking penicillin & metronidazole, and so many other freaking things. Your medical history is making my life miserable Jim! Get back here, so I can figure out what to give you!" Bones yelled, surprisingly keeping up with Jim's erratic running motions

Jim turned his head and panicked a bit and made a jump out of the mess hall by leaping off a table in to the hallway like a gymnast. Bones ran faster and caught him in mid-air and stabbed him with a hypospray. "Screw you Bones! Stop attacking those hypo's on my neck!" Jim sulked out, giving sad eyes and stomping out. Bones smiled and followed after him, before sticking his head back in and making the announcement that everyone would dread and spread around.

"Starting in two weeks, to this day begin the ship wide mandatory physicals of all senior bridge officers and crew members, no exemptions alright?" he drawled out sadistically in an upbeat and very southern accent. The dozen or so crewmembers in the mess hall became deadly silent and one female officer released a wail.

"Does this normally happen on here?" the newest ensign Remus Keeler asked his bunkmate Ensign Phillip Boyce. Philip looked at his friend and sighed, "Yes and a lot of weirder things my friend, the admiralty like call us the Island of Misfit toys but it's always entertaining".

B- Blasphemy

There were several things that were considered sacred to one Lt. Co Montgomery Scott. The ship he was assigned to be was to be his love, his life and what he would spend 24 hours keeping in running order, Friends were essentially to keeping his sanity but with his friends…the sanity part was hard to keep, a good whiskey, a good woman, keeping in contact with loved ones, a decent sandwich.

Today was Mister Scott's No Good, Horrible, Very Bad Day because 1) some stole his whiskey that his mam sent from Scotland, 2) His best engineer, Gailia was in med-bay with a terrible terran flu, 3) the replicator was broken and not making sandwiches and most of all there were Engineers toying around with his ship, making loud and banging noises.

Scotty stood in horror, as they were touching and playing around with his lady, the Enterprise. He felt violated and looked towards his Captain, who looked amused and upset that these "non-Enterprisians" were playing around. "Go ahead Scotty, I let the them look to appease Starfleet Command, and so do your thing".

Scotty's eyes light and responded with an "Aye" before marching down to the hull, screaming holy hell, and starting off with what would describe to his senior crew "A War cry that would make William Wallace proud and started with multiple shouts of BLASPHEMY! BLASPHEMOR! SACRELIGIOUS! UNHAND MY SHIP YOU FIENDS!"

C- Cake!

Everyone who was everyone knew that the birthday calendar in the mess hall was too sparkly, too avant-garde for a ship of the Enterprise's caliber but seeing the happy face of one Ensign Pavel Andreivich Chekov and the threatening faces of Lt. Uhura, Lt. Sulu and Captain Kirk, if any word was said.

Today on the birthday calendar stated that it was Lt. Uhura's birthday, along with Yeoman Janice Rand and throught out the halls and through their shifts, they received warm wishes and loud shouts of "Happy Birthday's" and even a rousing rendition of "Happy Birthday" sung through out the communication system. Janice Rand smiled through out the whole day as she grabbed her birthday buddy's hand and told her that Chekov had something for them.

As she dragged her from her station on the bridge at the beginning of her break and to the mess hall, The two women gave sweet smiles at the young ensign who stood holding a small non-replicated cake, with the names Nyota and Janice in red icing.

"Happy Birfday my friends!" he said "Tradition for friend to receiwe small gift, you like?" was the next thing that came out of his mouth

Nyota Uhura looked at Janice Rand and asked "Cake or Death?"

Janice laughed and said "Cake!"