Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter and the song is Chills in the Evening sung by V and Tom & Danny of McFly and I don't own the song either.
A/N: Thanks to homeric for going through it for me and I hope you like it.
We lost.
Being with you
Is all that I need
And I don't know why
You were too blind to see
And now your gone
I need you here tonight
"Tonks, you OK?"
I can hear Hermione talking to me, but her voice is distant. Today is Harry and Ginny's wedding day, everyone's talking, laughing, being happy but I can't be, even though I've tried. I can't help being angry when I know it's not their fault. They have all forgotten about him. It's the 23rd May, the anniversary of Remus Lupin's death. Two years ago today he was struck down with the Avada Kedava curse sent at him by Severus Snape. He collapsed at my feet, gone. I could hear Snape laughing at what he had just done, he must have been very pleased with himself, he had finally done what he said he would in his seventh year, kill a Marauder! He had murdered Remus Lupin, the love of my life, my one and only. I could feel all my pain, my anger - every emotion in my body disappear. In that moment, my soul left me. I have felt numb ever since.
Severus Snape didn't last long after that. Harry, Mad-Eye Moody and I all sent the same curse he used on Remus at him. He crippled over, but pure delight at what he had just done stayed on his face. I've never forgotten it. I can't, he haunts me in my sleep.
You know that I can't sleep
Coz I'm terrified
It feels like I'm falling
Down really fast inside
And I'm wishing the night away
Chills in the evening
They won't go away
Hermione is worried about me. She is the only one who has remembered, the only one who cares. Maybe I'm being selfish. Today is meant to be the happiest day of Harry and Ginny's life and they deserve this day, Harry deserves this day after all he has seen and done, he deserves a day of happiness.
Sometimes I feel like
I can't go on living
Theres not much to take
When you've done all of the giving
And now your gone
And I need you here tonight
"Hermione, tell Ginny and Harry I'm sorry."
I leave and when I get outside I start to run, tears falling thick and fast down my cheeks. I can hear Hermione calling me, but I carry on running as if my life depended on it. Leaving everyone. Its my fault, all my fault. Remus didn't deserve to die, not by that cowardly bastard! I stop at a tree not far from where I left. I'm surrounded by trees but it's this tree I want. An Ash tree, our tree. I see where Remus carved our names into its bark, engraving forever the future - our future. One that we were meant to share together. As I run my fingers over the carving I start to cry.
"I can't carry on Remy, not without you." I cry desperately into the night. The light from the moon is highlighting the tree and I know what to do.
And now I need to find away
To stop this pain from getting stronger
And I just can't explain
I don't understand
Why you left me here
I kneel facing the tree and take out the beautiful pen knife Sirius gave to me, he gave it to me for my birthday and I have never needed it until now. I'm crying even harder as I carve into the tree. "I'm sorry Remy," I say to him when I'm finished. My wand is pointed at my heart. I barely whisper the words, but the effects are the same.
Two hours later.
"Ron! I've found her" Hermione screamed, as she stared at Tonks's cold, still body.
Ron, Harry and Arthur ran to Hermione who was now crying hysterically over the body. Harry couldn't move. "She's dead isn't she?" He asked, even though the answer was clear as day.
"Yes Harry, she is," Arthur replied. "Hermione let her go, there is nothing we can do." Hermione was reluctant to let go but did eventually, and buried her tears into Ron's shoulder.
"Who did it? Dad who did it?" Asked Ron who was shaking just as much as his girlfriend.
"Ron, look at the tree." Ron looked and saw the carvings RL+NT FOREVER and underneath:
Remus and I were in love and together we were fighting a war.
We lost.