Bulimia

by skip together

Otogi Ryuuji has a problem. A problem with his image. He thinks he has a weight issue, but he's dead wrong. RxN

The aqua-haired teen sighed as he slumped in his seat in the cafeteria, copying notes from a very large book that seemed to be about religion. He had a test next period on Hinduism, and he had to make sure almost everything was memorized. His lunch sat, disowned, before him. Cafeteria lunches were never that trustworthy anyways, but the test studying was a bit more important than plastic macaroni right  now.

A boy sat down beside him, giving a long, over dramatic yawn. He wrapped an arm around the aqua-haired boy's shoulders, pulling him close. "Hello, hello! And how are you this fine evening, Noa?" Laughing, he pulled away from the boy to poke at the forgotten lunch. "It seems that your food is going to waste." Green eyes shifted through ebony bangs to look at the younger boy. "Studying for that test next period, are you?"

The other blushed furiously, but covered it by looking away. "Yes. And.. yes. If it were open note, I wouldn't have to put so much damned effort into the thing."

"Hmm... I just took it last period. Don't freak out, its nothing, really. I mean, at least I think it is. I slept through most of it..." He grinned, before reaching into his backpack, producing a bag of food. "Mm... time to eat! I've been waiting for this moment all day!"

The blue-eyed boy rolled his eyes, going back to hunching over the large book and scribbling notes in a small notebook as quickly as he could with his lack of lunch period time.

The elder ate his lunch quietly, watching his aqua haired friend. He paused, before humming. "You spelled Hinduism wrong, Noa."

The other didn't even look up. "Whatever. My notes, at least I know what I meant...

"Hm... wait..." he looked closer. "Maybe I spelled it wrong..."

Noa snickered. "Of course you did," He added, before finally standing and pulling off his glasses to stretch. Sitting hunched over a book with extremely unreadable miniscule text was never good for anyone, he noted. The other yawned lightly, cracking his back in one swift sideways motion before plopping back down in his seat and rubbing at his temples.

The elder stuck out his tongue, before going back to his sandwich.

"You're so immature," He noted, sighing. :But that's why I love you.:

"Yeah, I am!" He popped open his soda and took a sip, before smiling.

Noa slammed the book closed, leaning over to put it back into his bag, along with his glasses.

Yawning, the elder leaned against him. "Man, I'm bushed!"

Noa blinked, looking sheepishly over at him. "Ehh..."

"And really, really hungry..." he glanced at Noa's lunch. "Are you going to eat that?"

"…No. But I don't trust it..."

"Mm... I'm hungry enough." He grabbed the food and began to eat it slowly, watching Noa from his place against the younger.

"Mm... why?" He pulled away, looking at Noa. "Do you not like me?"

The other closed his eyes, shaking his head. "I don't like.. to be touched."

"Oh... okay..." The elder seemed to not believe it as he looked away, continuing to eat the food quietly.

Noa smiled and stood, pushing his chair in immediately.

Ryuuji looked up at him, blinking. "Going somewhere?"

"Uh.. umm.. yeah." He avoided eye contact as he pulled his backpack over his shoulder, sighing.

"Where? Hm? Can I come?"

"I..." Noa looked back over at him, sighing once more, scared. "I.. no. You can't."

"O-Oh..." green eyes moved to the floor. "Okay..."

The younger boy shook himself, before turning around and heading out the cafeteria door. "See ya."

"Bye, Noa..."

Noa stopped outside the door to the feild, biting his lip nervously and putting a hand on his forehead. "Ryuuji..." He muttered, closing his eyes. "I.. I need to take a break before I do something stupid..."

The boy stared at the food, not really hungry. Sighing, he piled the rest into his mouth, swallowing. Getting up, he grabbed his bag and headed out of the cafeteria.

Noa swung back around and into the school again, stalking behind Ryuuji in silence; happy he was unnoticed.

Humming, the elder stepped into the bathroom.

Noa stopped, looking up. He decided to stalk the other boy in there to act like he was washing his hands, or something.

Setting his bag down, Ryuuji glanced around to make sure no one was there. He disappeared into a stall quietly.

Noa stepped in after him, moving to set his bag down and stare suspiciously at himself in the mirror, messing lightly with his lighter shaded bangs.

There was a pause, before a small gagging sound. It was followed by a sound that could only be explained as someone throwing up.

Noa blinked as he realized the sound, then shivered and covered his own mouth. That had to be one of the worst sounds in the world. But.. Ryuuji? He seemed like he was okay... it didn't look like he was feeling sick that day. Noa sighed quietly, deciding to talk to the other when he was... done. The aqua haired boy picked up his bag and moved to walk out of the bathroom, standing outside the door quietly.

Ryuuji stepped out of the door moments later, brushing some bangs from his face. He seemed to be fine as he turned, jumping as he saw Noa.

Noa turned and stared at him, eyebrows furrowed. "You okay?"

"Yeah..." the elder replied, giving his best friend a strange look. "Why wouldn't I be?"

The other raised an eyebrow. "Well... you were sick. Are you sure? It wasn't the cafeteria food, was it?"

"S-sick...?" He moved his eyes away. "I wasn't sick... what are you talking about, Noa?"

"Yes you were.. I.. I heard you. Don't lie to me..."

"You... you heard me...?" He nervously played with his school jacket's sleeves. "I... I just don't feel good..."

Noa reached up to place a palm over his best friend's cheek. "You shouldn't be at school if you're not feeling good..."

"I'm fine..." he whispered, still looking at the floor. "I'm just tired..."

The younger bit his lip, dropping his hand. "That's not just tired... you should see the school nurse."

"N-No... I'll be fine, Noa." He moved his eyes to his friend, giving him a weak smile. "Its getting better. I'll be okay by the weekend."

Noa shook his head defeatedly. "..fine."

"Mm... speaking of the weekend... are you doing anything?"

Noa's eyes widened as he looked up with a little blush, before shaking the thought from his head. :We always hang out, it's nothing different.: "No. Why?"

"Mm... you could, stay the night. You know, like normal best friends do."

"Yeah.. uhh... sure." Noa shrugged, looking away.

"Well... you don't have to, you know..." Ryuuji moved his eyes away. "I mean... I know you don't like me or anything..."

"What do you mean, 'I don't like you'?" Noa asked, a bit harsh. "You're my best friend!"

Ryuuji was quiet at that, still playing with his sleeve. He looked a bit guilty, but tried to hide it.

"Why do you think I don't like you?"

"I don't know... no one really likes me... I mean, what is there to like?"

Noa blushed a bit. "There's a lot to like..." He said softly. "I mean, you're attractive, you're nice..." He stopped. "But that's only my opinion, it doesn't really matter.. so!"

"Attractive...?" He looked at Noa, frowning. "Noa, I'm not attractive.. look at me!" He motioned to his body. "I'm ugly, I'm fat..."

Noa's eyes widened. "What?! You're not fat! You're.. you're perfect!"

The elder looked away. "Don't lie to me..."

"Ryuuji, I'm not lying. I would never lie about something like that. You're... you're beautiful..." Noa whispered, looking away and turning. :I.. and that's another reason I want you...:

The bell rang, cutting off their conversation. Picking up his bag, Ryuuji pulled away from Noa, walking down the hallway, his head down.

Noa sighed, running after him to grab his arm. "Ryuuji... never let anyone tell you otherwise. I.. I like you the way you are and you're perfect to me..." :For me..: "Please? I want my opinion to matter to you..."

The elder turned to give him a weak smile. "Your opinion does matter to me, Noa..."

The other smiled sadly. "Are you sure?"

"Yes, yes. I need to get to PE, I'm already late." He paused, before looking at Noa. "Do you.... do you want to stay the night this weekend?"

"Yes, I would love to."

The smile was replaced by a real one, as Ryuuji hugged him. "Thank you..."

Noa blushed, half-heartedly hugging him back. "Yeah... no problem."

Pulling back, the elder smiled, waving. "See you tomorrow, then?"

Noa nodded, swallowing and biting his bottom lip nervously. "Yeah..."

"Bye!" Turning, Ryuuji ran off to his class.

Noa turned around, heading to his Religious Studies class in silence. :What the hell am I going to do with him for an entire night? I thought I was going to take a break...:

Noa stood outside, waiting for the bus quietly.

Smiling, Ryuuji suddenly hugged him from behind. "Noooooooaaaaaaaaaaaa!"

Noa's eyes widened as he squeaked. "Ryuuji-ch-! Ryuuji..!"

The elder laughed lightly. "Did I surprise you?"

"Yes, you did..." Noa muttered shakily, readjusting his bag.

"Aww, I'm sorry. Mm..." He looked around. "Is your bus late?"

Noa nodded. "Yeah."

"Do you want a ride home?"

"I think I'll be okay..."

"...You... you sure?"

"Eh..." Noa pondered it, though roughly unsure. :I really need a break before my crush gets worse, but...: "Never mind, sure, I'll ride with you."

"You sure...? I mean..." he looked over. "Your bus is coming right now..."

"Yes, I'm sure!"

He slowly pulled off Noa. "Okay..."

Noa rubbed at his temples, sighing.

Looking away, Ryuuji shifted his bag, before starting to walk toward the parking lot, waving in and out of the students.

Noa followed him behind silently once more.

Coming up to his car, Ryuuji unlocked the door, getting in. He reached over to unlock Noa's door, before putting the key in.

Noa opened the door and sat down, bag in his lap as he stared nervously out the window.

Starting the car, the elder waiting until Noa had his seatbelt on, before pulling the car out of the school parking lot. The drive to Noa's home was done in silence.

Noa looked up at his house quietly. :Okay.. I didn't do anything stupid this time...:

"Bye..." Ryuuji offered quietly, looking away.

Noa looked back at him nervously. "I'll see you tomorrow.. how am I getting to your house?"

"I'll pick you up when I get off work..."

"What time will that be?"

"Around 2:00 PM."

"Okay..." Noa smiled weakly. "I'll be here.."

Ryuuji gave him a weak smile, before looking away once more.

Noa closed the door and turned around, hips swaying as he shifted and walked up the stairs. :I.. it's not just a crush anymore.. it's love, I know it is..:

Ryuuji pulled the car out of the driveway.

A knock came on the door around 2:30 the next day.

Noa ran down the stairs, slightly worried as he opened the door.

Ryuuji stood, rocking back and forth on his heals.

"Ryuuji, hey." Noa smiled with a little, unnoticeable blush.

"Hi," the elder said, returning the smile.

"Should I go get my stuff? You can come in if you'd like.."

"Mm... yeah, sure." He stepped inside quietly, looking around the house, although he had seen it many times.

Noa ran upstairs and grabbed a small bag, before heading back down the stairs at a faster pace. "I'm ready," He grinned.

Returning the smile, Ryuuji followed him out the car.

"Mm..." Noa giggled, running after him after locking the door.

"Mom said that she's really happy that you're staying the night," the elder told him. "Because it gives her a reason to cook a big meal."

Noa grinned and chuckled. "Yay! I love your Mom's food."

"Mm... me too!" He let out a small laugh, getting into the car.

Noa got in as well, setting the bag in his lap. "What are we going to do, anyways?"

"That's a good question..."

Noa laughed slightly. :Shit. Shit. Shit.:

"Well, mom and dad have this thing they're going to after dinner, and its overnight, so we've got the house to ourselves..."

:Add some more shit.: Noa blushed, shrugging. "Hmm..."

"And all of my video games are broken. My computer is in the shop, and the cable company canceled our TV..." he pulled the car up to a spot sign, frowning. "So... looks like we have to entertain ourselves."

Noa swallowed. :It's all to spite me.: "Well, I.. we.."

"We could walk down to the park... you know, the one we used to hang out at when we were kids?"

Noa nodded happily, remembering them from when they were little. 

"Hey... what do you think a kiss really feels like...?"

"I.. I don't know.. we could.. we could try it..."

Noa blushed, shrugging. "Yes, that sounds good."

"Mm..." He smiled, pulling the car up to his house. "Here we are."

Noa looked up. "Yay."

Turning off the car, Ryuuji opened the door, getting out. He reached into the back to grab Noa's bag.

Noa jumped out happily, sighing as he stretched.

Coming up to the house, Ryuuji knocked on the door, before opening it. "I'm back!" he yelled, slipping off his coat.

Noa followed suit, blushing.

A woman came out of the kitchen, her long back hair pulled back in a bun. She smiled widely, moving over to give Noa a big hug and a kiss on the cheek. "Noa! Its good to see you again!"

The other blinked and giggled. "Ahh... you too, Otogi-san."

"I'm glad Ryuuji got you to come over!" She smiled, shooing Ryuuji off to place the bags down. "So, how is your family?"

"They're.. they're good."

"Good, good!" As Ryuuji came back, she smiled. "I'll leave you two alone, then. Dinner will be ready at seven." With that said, she left.

Noa smiled slightly, looking back at his best friend.

"Sorry," Ryuuji said, with a small laugh. "She never changes, I swear."

Noa chuckled. "So, what to do, hmm?"

"How about that walk, ne?"

"Hai!" Noa nodded, holding his hands behind his back happily.

Smiling, Ryuuji motioned for him, before they headed out the door.

Noa followed him quietly.

The two of them walked down the street up to a small little park closed off by a fence, surrounded by trees.

Noa looked over to a little tree near a corner of the park, scenes flashing in his mind. :He.. we.. we kissed over there, for the first time...: He pondered, seeming distant as he watched the spot.

Ryuuji took a seat on one of the swings, rocking back and forth.

Noa soon came back up to him, setting on a swing right next to him.

"Mm... so many memories..." he looked over at a little slide. "That's where we first met..."

"Hey, are you okay?"

"Those boys were picking on me... they were really mean..."

"Don't worry about them! I'll be your friend!"

Noa looked over, moving his feet to swing the swing weakly. "Yeah..."

Ryuuji's eyes moved to the tree. "And that tree..."

"Umm.. yeah..." Noa looked down to his lap, blushing furiously and covering his face with his bangs.

A small smile crossed Ryuuji's lips. "We were so young then... so innocent."

Noa nodded, swallowing. "Yes."

Green eyes moved to Noa. "Are you okay?"

:No. I'll never be okay.: Noa looked back up, bangs falling back in place. He smiled weakly. "Of course.."

"Noa..."

"Ye.. yes...?"

"Why do you have to lie to me?"

"I'm not lying, I promise I'm okay..." Noa whispered, turning away as he began to cry.

Ryuuji got off the swing quietly, walking over to the slide.

Noa looked up, watching him through teared up eyes.

The elder moved his hand over a little carving in the side of a nearby tree, that read "ORKN."

"Ryuuji...?" Noa questioned as he stood behind the other, wiping at his own eyes.

"You're my best friend, Noa..." he whispered. "We tell each other everything..."

"Yeah. Best friends..."

"Why won't you tell me?" He looked over at Noa, a look of hurt on his face.

"Because I'm scared..." Noa muttered through tears. "Really really scared..."

"Scared of what, Noa?"

"What you'll do, what you'll say..."

"Me? You're afraid of me?"

"No, I... you'll get mad, you'll feel funny and you'll never want to be my friend again!" Noa cried, shaking his head and covering his eyes as he began to sob.

"Noa... I..." he paused, before it finally hit him. "You... you're...?"

I'm sorry, Ryuuji! I'm so sorry! I tried to stop it, I really did..."

"Noa... you... but I..." Frowning, he shook his head. "You... you're sorry...?"

The younger boy turned around, body shaking. "I'm in love with you..."

"But.. why...? Why me, of all people...?"

Tears streamed down the other's face. "Just.. just reject me, please..."

"No, no... Noa... I... I'm not going to reject you... you're my best friend!"

Noa turned around, screaming the next thing. "But that's it! You only like me as a best friend and I don't know what to do!" The other stumbled back, falling. He soon struggled to stand and run as far away from Ryuuji as he possibly could.

"N-Noa! Wait!" Ryuuji cried, reaching after the aqua haired boy, as if doing so would make him stop.

He soon gave up, falling to the grass and crying alone. It was almost dark, and he figured they should go back for dinner soon.

Ryuuji walked up slowly. He had followed Noa carefully the entire way. Kneeling beside the boy, he placed a hand on his friend's shoulder. "Noa..."

"Please don't touch me... please..."

"You didn't let me finish what I was going to say..."

"What were you going to say, Ryuuji?"

"You... you're my best friend. You're like a brother to me. And... and it you want to be more, then I would love it..."

"But that would be forcing you too, and you don't love me the same..."

"You would not be forcing me, and I could love you the same."

Noa sighed quietly, still crying as he moved in to hug the boy, wanting comfort from the boy he loved.

Ryuuji returned the hug, petting Noa's hair.

"Are you sure you want to...?"

"Yes. But... I don't understand why you like me."

"You're nice, and beautiful, and caring... you're there for me when I'm hurting and you were the only person who wanted to be my friend..."

"Aa..."

"Ryuuji, there are so many good things about you, why can't you see them...?"

"I... I don't know... I just don't..."

"You're the most wonderful person in the world, Ryuuji..." Noa whispered, crying still. "And I want us to spend our lives together..."

Smiling weakly, Ryuuji moved to wipe Noa's tears away. "I would love for that as well, Noa..."

The other boy tried to stop his tears, closing his eyes quietly but not letting go of Ryuuji.

The elder pet his hair softly, humming a small tune they used to sing when they were little.

Noa sighed quietly, still scared. "Will you kiss me again, Ryuuji?" He asked.

"You... you want me to, Noa?"

Noa nodded quietly, shy. "Yes..."

"I... Alright..." He swallowed, before slowly leaning toward the other. He placed his lips on top of Noa's for a moment, his eyes closed.

Noa closed his eyes as well, muscles and scared body relaxing under Ryuuji's touch.

After a moment Ryuuji pulled back.

Noa blinked and sighed softly, looking away from Ryuuji. "Thank you,"

"F-For what...?"

"For the kiss when I asked..."

"You don't have to thank me..."

Noa clung to him once more in a tight hug, tears gone.

"We should get back to your house..." Noa muttered.

"Mm... do you want to?"

"I am sorta hungry..."

"Alright..." he slowly pulled from Noa, standing. Holding out a hand for his friend, he smiled.

The elder pulled him to his feet carefully, before he began walking home, still holding the younger boy's hand in his own.

Noa blushed, but didn't complain as he stayed close to the other's side.

They arrived at the house moments later, and Ryuuji's mother greated them with a smile. After washing their hands, they sat down at the table.

Noa sat next to Ryuuji quietly, smiling still.

They began to eat, small chatter going on between Ryuuji's parents. Ryuuji ate somewhat fast, obviously hungry.

Noa watched the other boy quietly, hoping he was feeling a bit better today than he had been at school.

Ryuuji gave him a weak smile, before taking a sip of water.

Noa went back to eating quietly, content.

When everyone was done, Ryuuji's mother took their plates, heading off to the kitchen. Ryuuji gave a small yawn, covering his mouth.

Noa chuckled a bit, looking back at his best friend. "Tired?"

He nodded, before grinning. "Lets head up to my room, ne?"

The blue haired boy nodded quietly. "Hai."

Standing, Ryuuji led them upstairs, to his room. He opened the door and flicked on the light happily. "Make yourself at home! I'll be right back!" With that said he walked off, leaving Noa in his room.

On the desk sat a small book, opened.

Noa blinked, looking over at it and noticing it immediately as something he wasn't supposed to read - even if Ryuuji was his best friend.

It seemed to draw him in, the words written fairly big. From where he stood he could make out the word "weight" and the number "0."

He looked around quietly, before heading over to the little book with silent steps. Looking nervously once more behind himself and out the door for Ryuuji, he turned back and began to read the journal in his mind.

Entry-

Q: How many times do you make yourself throw up a day?

A: After every meal.

Q: How much weight do you want to lose?

A: I won't stop until I reach 0.

Noa's eyes widened and he didn't make to look up and check for anyone as he flipped to the previous page, scanning it over as well with a look of pained worry over his face.

"Noa?" Came Ryuuji's voice from the door.

The younger boy's head immediately shot up, body straightening from it's leaned position. "Ah! Ryuuji!" He practically stuttered, stepping back from the desk.

The elder tilted his head, giving his friend a confused look. "Are you okay?" He slowly walked over to his desk, closing the book. "What were you doing?"

Noa watched him close the book, and made to step back again until he fell into the older boy's bed, falling into a sitting position on it. "N-nothing!"

Ryuuji stared at him for a moment, before shrugging. "Okay!"

Noa sighed, swallowing as he looked at the journal still. It sat there doing nothing, as inanimate objects usually do, but in a mocking sort of way. He was really starting to worry about Ryuuji now, and had no idea what to do. Should he talk to him about it? Ryuuji wouldn't get mad, would he? Or defensive? Noa sighed inwardly with confusion. But... what if Ryuuji died? What would he do then...? "R.. Ryuuji..?"

"Yeah?" The elder asked, as he sat down, reaching back to undo his ponytail.

"What are you doing to yourself?" Noa asked quietly, seriously.

He blinked, looking at Noa as he pulled the rubber band out of his hair. "What do you mean?"

"You know what I mean...." Noa murmured. "You're hurting yourself..."

"I..." Ryuuji broke eye contact, looking at the floor. "I have no idea what you're talking about..."

The younger boy looked at him, frightened as he lifted a hand to his best friend's face, brushing the back of his hand over Ryuuji's cheek and moving some hair from his eyes as well. "Yes you do...."

Ryuuji pulled away, looking up at Noa. "I..."

Noa took his hand away sadly when the other moved.

"Noa, what are you talking about...? I... I'm not hurting myself... I'm perfectly fine..." He rubbed his eyes tiredly at that.

"Yes, you are, Ryuuji. Why are you doing this? What is it that you don't like?"

"i..." He sighed, looking away once more, nervously playing with the tips of his hair. "I don't like myself... I..."

Noa got up, moving to stand in front of the other boy, then kneeling.

Ryuuji's eyes closed at that, as he tried not to see Noa.

Noa stood, touching the other's face again. "You can't do this to yourself..."

"Why?" His eyes opened as he looked at Noa, almost afraid. "Noa, I can't stop..."

Noa stood, looking the other in the eye, hand still on his cheek. "You.. you need help, Ryuuji..."

"No I don't! I'm perfectly fine!" He pulled away, looking at Noa, still afraid. "The only thing that's wrong with me is that I'm fat... and I'm trying to change it, Noa!"

"Ryuuji, you are not fat! Why won't you listen? You've never been fat, you've always been perfect!" He replied. "And you need help before you die!" The younger boy was almost in tears now at the thought of his best friends death. "I.. I'll get your Mother into this, I swear it... then they'll send you away to some sort of weird hospital help center and you'll never see me again!"

Ryuuji's eyes widened at that, and he grabbed Noa's hands. "No, Noa! Please... don't tell my mother..." he had tears in his own eyes now. "You can't let her know... she... she'll think I'm insane! She'll be so mad..." he let go of one of Noa's arms to wipe his eyes again, before looking up at the younger boy. "Please, Noa... if... if you promise you won't tell, I..." he bit his lip, looking away for a second, before looking back. "I'll stop... I swear."

The younger boy knelt onto the bed, moving his hand to cup Ryuuji's on his own. "You promise? I can try to help you..."

The elder nodded slowly. "I promise..."

Noa smiled, and moved to hug his best friend gently.

Ryuuji gave a weak smile, hugging Noa back.

"Please don't let yourself hurt yourself anymore, Ryuuji..."

"I... I wont..."

"Ryuuji, dear!" Came the voice of Ryuuji's mother. "We're leaving now!"

Noa looked up from hugging the other, arms still around him.

She looked in through the door, smiling. "You two have fun, okay?"

"Yes, Okaa-san," Ryuuji whispered weakly.

Noa blushed, chuckling. "We will,"

She gave them a small smile, before heading off. Ryuuji sighed, leaning against Noa.

The other blinked, looking down at him.

"I'm tired..." Ryuuji whispered, closing his eyes.

"Oh, but we were supposed to have fun."

"Yeah..."

Noa chuckled a bit, shifting and moving his arms away from his best friend's waist.

Ryuuji moved away as well, pulling his hair back into a braid.

"Are you too tired, though?"

"I'll be fine. So, what do you want to do...?"

Noa moved to sit on the bed with his legs crossed. "What would you like to do?" He asked. "There are games we could play, neh? However... I don't think we've played hide and seek for a long time..." Noa blushed.

Ryuuji laughed a bit at that. "Its up to you, ne? You're the guest."

"Mm... yes, that's true... but I can't really think of anything..."

"What do you want to play?"

"I'm not sure, but I saw something on TV once that looked like a lot of fun.."

"Well, what was it?"

"I'm not sure.. but this girl was putting her hands in this boy's pants and he really seemed to like it..."

"We could.. do that! Maybe it is fun.."

"Well... we could always, like... hmm... I have no idea." He sighed, before playing with his hair. "I really need a shower, though..."

Noa chuckled. "I could.. uhh.. draw, or something.. while you do that..."

Ryuuji shrugged. "It works for me." He smiled, standing up.

Noa looked at his lap quietly. "But I wanted to spend time with you..." He whispered, mostly to himself.

Ryuuji frowned at that, brushing some hair from his face. "I guess I could shower later..."

"No, if you really need to, go ahead.." Noa sighed, shaking his head with a fake smile.

"No... I'm not, like, dying of dirtiness. I took a shower this morning. I don't need one that much."

Noa nodded. "Do you... do you even like spending time with me anymore?" He asked quietly.

"Noa, I love spending with you!" He knelt down, so he was face to face with his friend. "I just... I've been avoiding you lately to hide... well..." he motioned to his stomach. "So hiding was kind of a first reaction..."

The younger looked up at him sadly. "Do you even still like me...?"

"Noa, I like you. I like you a lot."

The younger looked away. "Yeah..."

"Why would you think I didn't...?"

"Because I'm not interesting anymore, and I thought my loving you would freak you out..." He whispered, pulling his knees to his chest.

"Noa, you are very interesting. I'm  the boring one. And it doesn't freak me out... I mean, its kind of sudden... but... I love you too, in a way..."

Noa sighed, leaning his head into his arms that were on his knees. "In a different way..." He whispered, beginning to cry again but trying his best to hide it.

"Noa, I..." He frowned. "Noa... I... I don't love you the same way, but I can... I just need a little time, is all..."

The other swallowed. "I don't want to force you..."

"You wont be, Noa. Trust me..."

"I can try to not love you, if you want..."

"No! Noa, I don't want you to do that..." He frowned. "If... if I'm going to try and stop... stop..." he swallowed. "Throwing up, then I'm going to need you..."

Noa nodded quietly, looking back down.

"Noa, I love you. Not quite the same way, but I still love you."

"But you can never want me like I want you and that's what hurts..."

"Why do you think I cant?"

"Because to you I'm only a friend..."

"You're much more then a friend..."

"There is nothing more, Ryuuji." Noa whispered behind his tears. "I'm sorry I asked you to kiss me, I shouldn't have..."

"Noa... listen to me. You are more then a friend... I want you to be with me... I love you... why can't you understand that?"

"But we're not lovers, Ryuuji! You are not in love with me as I am you.."

"But I can be, if you'll give me a chance!"

"I'll feel like I'm taking you for granted!"

"You aren't."

The other began crying again, confused and still hurting.

Ryuuji frowned, before pulling Noa into a hug. "I want to love you, Noa. I want to be with you. You are not taking advantage of me in any way."

The younger boy clung to Ryuuji desperately, crying harder as he body shook with his emotions.

Reaching up, the elder began to pet his hair soothingly.

"I love you too much..."

"I love you too, Noa."

Noa sighed shakily, knowing that it was not the same.

"Noa..."

"What?"

"I'm sorry..."

"Don't be, it's all my fault.." He murmured. "I tried to stop it but I couldn't, I tried to leave you alone and I couldn't, it's my fault..."

"No, no... none of this is your fault, Noa..."

"I tried to not love you because I knew it would never work out and I couldn't..."

"It will work out, Noa..."

"You.. should go take your shower, I'm only in your way..."

"We can shower together!"

"Yeah!"

"I bet we'd get clean faster if we were both in there!"

"Noa, you are not in my way..."

"First one in there wins!"

"No fair!"

"I.. am. I know I am."

"Noa... you've never been in my way. I've always been glad to have you around."

"Heeyyy...! That tickles!"

"That's the fun part about bubbles. Especially when you take them in your hand like this -- and make them get bigger by blowing them up."

"Wow! Oooh, can you teach me how to do that?"

Noa sighed shakily once more, moving his arms from Ryuuji's neck weakly.

Ryuuji frowned, pulling his arms away from Noa. "Noa...?"

"It's nothing, go shower."

"No."

"Why?"

"I'm not going to leave you alone when its obvious you are upset."

Noa moved to hesitantly kiss Ryuuji's cheek like they would when they were younger. "Thank... thank you..."

A small smile crossed Ryuuji's face. "You don't have to thank me, Noa."

The other finally decided to bring it up. "Remember when we were little and we used to shower together? And you taught me how to blow bubbles?"

Ryuuji's smile grew. "Yeah."

Noa smiled slightly. "I think that's when I started to fall in love with you..."

"Oh?"

Noa nodded. "Mm..."

Smiling, Ryuuji moved some hair from Noa's face.

The younger looked up at him sadly.

"I miss those times. When we were kids."

"I do too..." He murmured.

"But... I am happy where I am now."

"You shouldn't be."

"Why?"

"You didn't use to hurt yourself when we were younger. Ryuuji, I always looked up to you and I still do..."

"Yes, but now, we are closer then ever."

No we really aren't." He replied. "We're stuck in the same spot except I'm hurting and you're killing yourself slowly.."

"No, Noa. We are closer, even if you don't realize it."

"Then I may never realize it, hmm?" He asked. "I think we were closer back then. We were more naive, we used to be more open and we used to, well.. touch more.."

"Yes, but back then, I didn't care about you as much. You were my best friend. Now... you're my soul reason for living."

"And when your problem is gone? What will I be then?"

"You will still be my soul reason for living."

"Because I am your friend."

"Because you are closer to me then my family."

"But not like I want to be. "

"But it could be like that, if you'd just give me a chance."

"It could be. If I give you a chance and you never fall in love, what will we have then?"

"We will still be best friends."

"And I may as well kill myself,"

"Noa..."

"I do not want you to go into something, have it not work out, make my life worse, and ultimately destroy me!"

"Noa, I..."

"I might as well be dead now."

He looked away, stepping away from the younger boy.

"And you'll leave.." Noa whispered, pulling his knees to his chest as he cried. "You'll never be there and I can be alone like I was, without you there to mock me. If I scare you away, will you leave more quickly? If I give you a chance and it doesn't work out, will best friends ever be enough for me? If I die... would you care? Would you notice those around yourself as you do not now?"

"Noa, listen to yourself... you're going insane. You keep repeating things I've already answered. If you don't want to give me a chance, then dont. Its your choice."

"I will give you a chance. But do not expect me to live when you cannot love me in return."

"I don't think that will happen, Noa."

"What? What won't happen?"

"Me not loving you. I love you already."

"But I could do something stupid, push something too far..."

"The only thing you could have possibly pushed to far was the throwing up, and its already been handled."

"I don't know what to do with you..."

"I don't know what to do with me sometimes either."

Noa moved to stand from the bed, walking over and leaning on the doorframe. "Should I go home?" He asked.

Ryuuji frowned at that. "Do you... do you want to?"

He expression fell. "Only a little."

"Well, I don't want you to..."

"What will we do with our time together, though?"

"We could sit and talk, play some games, or go for a walk..."

"We've already talked and I don't like where talking goes."

"Ah... so... game or walking?"

"Walking would be nice. Can we hold hands?"

"I would love for that, Noa."

Noa smiled only slightly. "Let's go then. And mind you..." He took a nervous glance at the window after rubbing at his tear stained eyes. "I don't like the dark..."

Smiling, Ryuuji reached into his drawer, grabbing a flashlight.

"We don't really need one. I'll have you, right? And there are streetlamps."

"Yes, but we'll take it just in case."

Noa nodded, eyes finally clearing up from the tears.

Ryuuji held out his hand for Noa as he walked up to the younger boy, a smile on his face. He took Noa's hand into his own as they stepped out of the room, closing the door behind themselves.

Noa smiled softly, spirits a bit more risen than before as he blushed.

They headed out of the house, Ryuuji locking the door quietly. With that they headed down the street, still hand in hand.

Noa stayed silently by Ryuuji's side as a small breeze passed them by, light illuminating from only the streetlamps - the little shops were now closed. Noa shivered in the wind, tightening his hold on the older boy's hand instinctively as they continued walking.

They passed by an all night market, where the woman inside waved at Ryuuji. He smiled, nodding to her.

Noa looked over at her, then back to staring at the ground before himself.

They came up to a small privet beach, with a gate. Pulling out a key, Ryuuji unlocked it, stepping out onto the sand.

Noa looked around, not remembering seeing this little beach ever before.

Smiling, Ryuuji opened the gate for him. Once the younger boy had stepped through, he closed it, locking it once more.

"I've never been here before..." Noa whispered, looking around.

"I don't come here often," Ryuuji said, smiling. "The guy that lived next door gave me the key after he moved. This is why I brought the flashlight."

Noa smiled, nodding in understanding and still holding tightly to the older's hand.

The elder began to walk quietly down some stairs to the beach, leading Noa down. They crossed a bridge over the railroad, before coming upon a small beach.

Noa followed swiftly, staying close to Ryuuji's side.

The elder's braid blew in the wind as he sat on a bench, watching the waves. A single person was on the beach, playing with his dog.

Noa finally let go of his hand to stand behind him, nervously watching the waves as well.

"Hmm..." Ryuuji looked up at Noa. "Are you okay?"

"Yes," He whispered sadly. "Of course."

The elder frowned. "Noa... what's wrong?"

"I.. I dunno," He smiled sadly, looking down at the other. "It's just so... romantic.." He blushed. "Eh, I know it's stupid but I've always been into the romantic stuff.."

Smiling warmly, Ryuuji motioned for Noa to take a seat beside him on the bench.

Noa blinked, but didn't question as he moved to sit quietly on the bench.

Leaning on him, the elder whispered: "If it's so romantic, then I'm happy to share it with you."

Noa blushed lightly, smiling softly and reaching up to hesitantly put a hand on Ryuuji's cheek.

Ryuuji leaned into his touch, his smile returning.

Noa sighed softly, dropping the hand and looking back at the waves.

Green eyes shifted to the waves as well.

Noa moved to set his elbows on his knees, head in his hands.

Moving slowly, Ryuuji put an arm around Noa's waist.

Noa blinked, noticing the arm and blushing once more.

The man whom was playing with his dog ran by, laughing a bit.

Noa looked over at him, then back at Ryuuji nervously.

Ryuuji smiled. "He just moved in next door. Him and his boyfriend."

"Ahhh." Noa smiled lightly.

"And that dog... that really, really loud, nice, happy little dog..."

Noa chuckled. "Is that a bad thing?"

Ryuuji grinned. "It depends on if you like dogs or not."

"Ahhh..."

Smiling, the elder was happy just sitting, watching Noa.

Noa looked back over at him quietly.

"You're beautiful, Noa... I wish I could be as beautiful as you..."

A hurt look flashed though sapphire eyes as he moved to hug Ryuuji. "You are beautiful, Ryuuji! You are the most lovely person I'll ever know..."

Ryuuji frowned, returning the hug.

"I would never lie to you..."

"I know..."

Noa pulled him tighter, almost crying.

"I'm sorry, Noa..."

"Why can't you see?"

"I... I don't know... when... when I look at myself, I..."

Noa sighed painfully, softly.

"I see everything I never wanted to be..."

"How? How is that possible? I.."

"I don't know..."

"I see the boy who helped me every time I fell down, who taught me what life was like, I see the most beautiful person in the world, inside and out..." Noa whispered. "I see the boy that I want my first time to be with, the boy who I want to spend the rest of my life with..."

Gasping, Ryuuji pulled away to look into Noa's eyes. "Noa, I..."

Noa looked up at the other, tilting his head in question.

A smile crossed his face. "Thank you..."

Noa blushed, looking down. "It's because I love you..."

"I know... but... thank you, still."

Noa nodded quietly.

"You... you make me feel loved, Noa. Important and... and beautiful..."

"Because you are..." He whispered.

He gave a weak smile, looking back at the ocean.

Noa still watched the other, scared and embarrassed.

After a long pause, Ryuuji sighed. "I suppose so..."

"Yes..."

"Should we head back? Its getting somewhat late..."

Noa nodded. "..yes.."

Smiling, Ryuuji held out his hand for Noa.

Noa took it willingly, still sad but doing his best to hide it.

The elder stood up weakly.

Noa stood as well.

Smiling, Ryuuji headed back up the stairs.

Noa followed quietly.

The elder stopped half way up the stairs, rubbing his eyes tiredly.

"Ryuuji?"

"Y-Yeah...?"

"What's wrong?"

"Just... just a little dizzy, is all..."

"That's.. really not good..."

"I'll be fine... happens all the time..."

"Ryuuji..."

"Yeah...?"

"We need to get you home..."

"Yeah..."

"Come.."

Smiling weakly, he started up the stairs again.

Noa followed, squeezing his hand.

They came up to the gate, which Ryuuji unlocked without a word.

Noa watched him concernedly.

They headed back to Ryuuji's house in silence. Unlocking the door, Ryuuji stepped inside, before all but collapsing on the sofa.

Noa walked quietly up to him, running a hand over his cheek.

The elder slowly opened his eyes to look up at Noa, giving a weak smile.

"Would you like me to carry you to your bed? I bet it's much more comfy."

"Are you sure you can lift me? I'm kind of heavy..."

"I doubt it, Ryuuji. You're probably horribly underweight."

"I... no I'm not..."

Noa moved to pick him up, just to prove it. He blinked at how amazingly light the other truly was. "Ryuuji!"

Yelping in surprise, Ryuuji latched onto Noa's shirt.

Noa looked the other over. "I could probably snap you in half or throw you a couple feet, even! Ryuuji, this really isn't good. Now you're going to eat and I'm going to chain you to your bed, or I'm taking you to the hospital right now and calling your mother."

Green eyes widened. "No... don't call her, please!"

"Would you like to eat, then?"

"I... don't really have a choice, do I?"

"No."

"Then I guess I will..."

Noa set the boy down, dragging him into the kitchen.

Ryuuji followed, shaking lightly.

Noa glanced around, before spotting a box of pop tarts. He pulled one out, handing it to Ryuuji, along with an apple. "Eat."

Ryuuji stared at the food for a long moment, before slowly taking it into his hands.

Noa watched the other impatiently.

Closing his eyes, Ryuuji slowly took a bite of the apple. He chewed it for a big, before swallowing.

Noa continued to watch.

He slowly ate the pop tart, resisting the urge to gag himself.

Noa crossed his arms, leaning against the counter.

He opened his eyes, staring at the apple quietly.

"You have to finish at least half of that apple, or I will grab that phone," He motioned to the cordless that sat on the counter by the refrigerator.

Letting out a choked sound, Ryuuji took another bite of it slowly.

Noa continued to watch him, expression that of one who is either very mad, or very destructive.

He finished most of the apple, before setting it down, laying his head down on the table.

Noa blinked, looking over at him. "You know what you get to do now?"

"Let me guess... its not puking, right?"

"You get to digest the food! Wow!"

Ryuuji let out a sad moan at that, burring his face even further into his arms.

Don't do that, you wimp." Noa glared. "Normal people digest food. I digest food. And you said you liked what I look like. You have to eat to look like this," Noa motioned to his body.

The elder sniffled lightly. "But you're much more beautiful then I could ever hope to be..."

"I feel the same about you,"

He looked up slowly. "Why...?"

Noa smiled, leaning to face the other. "Because everything about you is wonderful," He whispered. "You have the most beautiful eyes.."

Ryuuji looked at him sadly, frowning.

"And I love you more than anything,"

"I know... I don't understand why, though..."

Noa moved to hug the other. "Someday you'll see,"

"I guess so..." he sighed, pulling away to look down at his stomach.

Noa looked down, kneeling and pulling the other's shirt up to kiss his navel playfully. "And your stomach is just fine."

Blushing, Ryuuji frantically pulled his shirt back down, looking away.

Noa hugged him again, giggling.

Ryuuji frowned, trying his best not to be mad at Noa.

"Is something wrong?" Noa asked quietly, noticing the frown as he pulled away.

His only response was Ryuuji looking away.

"Ryuuji?"

"I... I'm just a little bit upset, is all..."

"About what...?" He asked softly. "Are you angry with me...?"

"Noa... you are forcing me to stop doing something that I have thrived on doing for the past two years... of course I'm mad..."

Noa swallowed, nodding. "But you have to.. you have to get healthy! You don't want to die, do you?"

"I won't die..."

"You could die, Ryuuji! Your body needs that protein and those nutrients to live! Sure, starving yourself makes your body burn the fat because it has no carbs, but you could at least diet if you think something is wrong!"

He looked away. "I already tried that... nothing happened..."

Noa sighed. "We'll need to get you back on the right track this time, Ryuuji. But slowly, okay? I'm not going to force you to eat too much at a time or anything, but I'm not going to let you eat junk food and go throwing it up. Do you know what stomach acids do to your teeth? We're going to start you up on a diet or I'm going to drive you to a physician and have some weird woman do this for us."

Ryuuji nodded weakly, his eyes on the table.

"We need to help you before you die..." Noa whispered softly, placing both palms on the other's cheeks.

"I'm not going to die..." he muttered.

"WOULD YOU LIKE TO JUST WAIT AND SEE THEN?"

He cringed lightly at that, pulling away from Noa.

"Would you like to be on life support with a drained and useless shell of a body?"

"Noa..."

"That will happen, Ryuuji."

"Noa, please stop it..."

"What?"

"You... you're scaring me..."

"Good."

He looked away, clenching his eyes shut.

Noa ran his hand over the other's cheek again. "Please, let me help you and that won't happen."

"Y-yeah..."

"And I won't tell your Mother unless you're not listening to me,"

"Right..."

Noa sighed, looking away.

Ryuuji rested his head on the table once more, closing his eyes.

"Tired?"

"Mm..."

"Is that a yes or a no?" He chuckled.

"Its a 'very'."

Noa smiled, leaning over. "Let's get you to sleep then,"

"Yeah..." He slowly got up from the table, rubbing his eyes.

Noa moved to pick him up again, gently.

Ryuuji let out a soft noise, half in protest, half in shock. He curled up against Noa, however, sighing.

Noa carried his effortlessly up the stairs, setting the other on his bed. He put the boy on the side near the wall, taking the side by his bedside table as his own resting place. Noa looked up at him, grinning. "And now you're stuck here until morning. And mind you, I sleep lightly. You move at all to get out of the bed tonight, and I'll know."

The elder remained silent at that, not at all surprised that Noa knew what he was thinking.

"Shall I leash you to the bed as well?" He asked, holding up a finger in a teasing way.

"Goodnight, Noa..."

The other moved to sit on the bed, watching Ryuuji quietly. "Because I gladly will."

"Goodnight, Noa."

Noa smiled, laying back down and into the bed as he shut off the light. "Goodnight!"

Ryuuji did not try to get up the whole night, however, the next morning, his mother shook both him and Noa awake with a small smile. "Wake up, you two! Its almost noon!"

Noa whimpered, holding his eyes shut. "5 more minutes!"

Ryuuji giggled a bit, looking up at his mother. "Morning..."

She smiled. "I'll bring up some breakfast." With that she left.

Ryuuji's entire body seemed to freeze at those words.

Noa smiled. "Thank you!" He called after her as he moved to sit up in the bed.

Ryuuji sat up slowly as well. "Noa... are you going to watch me go to the bathroom as well?"

"If I have to. I'll stand out there, however."

"Good... it would be a little weird if you were in there..." He got up slowly, heading into the bathroom.

"Only a little?" Noa laughed, following him. "Ahh... back when we were children, that didn't used to matter. Remember that one time I convinced you how much more fun it was to run in the sprinkler with no clothes on at all?"

Giggling, Ryuuji closed the door. He opened it again moments later. There had been no strange gagging sounds, or the sounds of throwing up. Grinning, he grabbed his toothbrush from the counter and put toothpaste on it, his mind wandering to how easy it would be to gag himself with the object.

Noa followed him in, watching him quietly.

He brushed his teeth in silence, avoiding looking at the mirror.

Noa sighed quietly, eyebrows furrowed.

Finishing, Ryuuji quickly brushed his hair back into a normal ponytail, before turning to Noa.

Noa smiled at him slightly. "You look absolutely gorgeous," He commented. "As always."

He looked away at that, stepping past the younger out into the hallway.

Noa turned around, saddened. "Ryuuji..."

"Yeah?" He asked, stopping.

"I'm sorry I'm in love with you, if that's what you don't like," He whispered. "I'll stop acting so clingy..."

He sighed, turning to Noa. "Do you want to know what I dont like, Noa?"

"Yes," He whispered.

"I don't like the fact that you think I'll never love you. I don't like the fact that you keep thinking that I'm going to dump you suddenly. I really, really don't like the fact that you think I don't like you loving me."

Noa nodded. "I.. I understand. Are you mad at me, though? For liking what you look like?"

"No."

Noa swallowed, looking back down.

Ryuuji stepped into his room silently.

Noa followed him quietly, smile gone.

Stepping up to his desk, Ryuuji opened his journal.

"Whatcha doin'?"

"You read my journal, didn't you?"

"I.. I.. yes.." He whispered.

"So this... this is how you know?"

Noa nodded, looking away.

Ryuuji looked over at him. "How much did you read?"

"Only.. only the one page that had been open..."

"...ah."

"Are you mad?"

"What do you think? You read my journal..."

Noa nodded as he looked down. "I'm sorry, it was open and I... it wasn't nice of me. I won't do it again..."

Ryuuji sat down on his bed, looking at the floor. "If I had left that damned thing shut..."

"Ryuuji..." Noa decided not to try. "Never mind, you're not going to listen."

Ryuuji looked up as his mother entered with a smile, setting two plates of pancakes on the desk.

Noa nodded to her with a hurt smile. "Thanks," He whispered.

Her smile turned a bit sad, but she nodded, leaving.

Noa looked over at the food. "You need to eat."

"I'm not hungry..."

"Please... take a bite, at least?" Noa asked softly.

His only response was a small glare at Noa.

Noa stepped back. "Never mind," He whispered, falling to the floor and sitting with his knees to his chest. "I'll tell your Mom..."

"Go right ahead. Do you want me to call her up for you?"

Noa looked down, shaking his head. "Do you want me to go home?" He asked, swallowing.

"What, and leave me alone, so I'll start puking again?"

"No!" Noa cried. "That's the last thing I want! But I know I'm making you mad and I don't want you upset!"

"Then you shouldn't have read my journal!" He glared at Noa. "Its personal, Noa!"

"You're my best friend, Noa...We tell each other everything..."

"I'm sorry!" He cried in response, tears in his eyes. "You shouldn't have left it open then!"

"No, I shouldn't have! Because then I'd be perfectly happy and puking my life away, and you'd be unknowing to all of it!"

The younger continued to cry. "But you're hurting yourself! You can't hurt yourself like that! It's scary..."

"Its my body! I can throw up my food if I--" He gasped, turning to look at his mother, who stood in the doorway. She heard all of the yelling from down the hall, her eyes wide as she stared at the two boys.

Noa looked up from his position on the floor near the door, still crying.

"Mom?" Ryuuji whispered, staring at her shocked face. "Mom, I..."

She covered her hand with her mouth, looking at Noa, as if asking him if it was true.

Noa looked away quietly, scared and ashamed.

"Ryuuji..." she whispered. "I... I'm calling the hospital..."

"No!" He cried, desperately. "Mom, please, no... I... I'm stopping! Noa's helping me!"

Noa looked up at him. "You don't even listen to me anymore!" He cried.

Ryuuji looked at him. "I'm mad at you, Noa! I'm still going to eat... I... I'll do anything... I don't want to have to go to a hospital..."

The younger boy stood. "Do you promise?" He asked softly.

The elder nodded, looking Noa straight in the eye.

The other boy sighed quietly, looking at his mother.

She frowned, looking between the two boys. Finally, she nodded slowly.

Noa smiled weakly.

"Thank you..." Ryuuji whispered, smiling. His mother returned the smile weakly, before saying:

"But if I ever catch you doing it, Ryuuji, I'm calling the hospital."

He nodded slowly.

Noa smiled sadly, looking back at the other.

She headed off, and Ryuuji fell to the floor with a loud sigh.

"R.. Ryuuji...?"

"Yeah...?"

"You're more mad now, aren't you?"

"No... that kind of... calmed me down." He looked over at Noa. "I'm sorry for yelling..."

"You scared me," Noa whispered.

"I'm sorry for that too..."

Noa made to rush over to him, hugging him desperately.

Ryuuji returned the hug weakly, smiling.

"Please don't ever scare me again..."

"I'll try..."

Noa smiled sadly. "I'm hungry,"

Ryuuji returned the smile halfheartedly, pulling away from Noa to grab the pancakes, pulling them down onto the floor in front of them.

Noa smiled, bouncing.

Ryuuji handed him his fork.

Noa smiled and went to eating happily.

Ryuuji stared at the food quietly.

"You need to eat too," Noa said, through half a mouth of pancake.

"I know..." he whispered. "But..."

"Mm?"

"Right now, just thinking about eating makes me feel like I'm going to throw up..."

Noa sighed softly. "I will not hesitate to chew your lunch for you and feed you like a bird would her babies,"

Ryuuji looked at him, before sighing. He cut up the pancake with his fork, and ate some of it quietly.

"Now, that doesn't mean you have to eat it all. Only a little.. your body has to get used to food again.."

"Yeah..."

Noa smiled sadly as he ate.

Ryuuji took another bite, seemingly in another world.

Noa watched him after he was done.

Ryuuji ate about half before he put down the fork.

Noa smiled. "Good,"

Ryuuji looked up at him quietly.

Noa moved the plates to hug him gently.

Smiling, Ryuuji weakly returned the hug.

"What shall we do today?" Noa asked.

"I have to go to work soon..."

Noa sighed. "Oh. That's right... I forgot..."

Ryuuji gave him a weak smile.

"Will I be going home then?"

"Its up to you... I mean, do you really want to follow me around a super market all day?"

"Of course!"

"...why?"

"Because you'll be there," Noa said softly.

"Ah... so it has nothing to do with making sure I don't throw up?"

"That too."

"Thought so."

Noa smiled a bit.

Ryuuji returned the smile weakly.

"Can I?"

"I don't see why not..."

"YAY!" Noa squealed, glomping Ryuuji joyously.

Ryuuji laughed lightly, hugging Noa.

"I love you!"

"I love you too."

"Mm," Noa smiled sadly. He knew it wasn't in the same way, but it still felt nice to hear him say it.

"I should take a shower..."

Noa nodded quietly. "..yeah..."

"You can... um..." he frowned. "You wont really be able to hear with the shower running..."

Noa smiled. "I could shower with you!" He grinned. "Just a thought."

Ryuuji blushed at that, coughing into his hand.

"Yeah - stupid thought. Just thinking back when we were little too much, sorry.." Noa looked away quietly.

"No, I just... I'm nervous about my body..."

Noa smiled. "I absolutely love your body, Ryuuji,"

That made Ryuuji blush even more as he wrapped his arms around his waist.

"I..." He blushed furiously. "Yeah. I'm going to stop there.."

"I could leave the door open just enough that you can see the tolit... or something..."

Noa chuckled. "I still think showering with you would be fun. I learned most of life's most important things while showering with you, you know." He laughed.

Ryuuji blushed even more at that, turning away. "Yeah, well..."

"Please?"

"Noa..."

Noa gave the other his best pouting look.

Ryuuji's arms tightened around his stomach. "I... I cant..."

Noa moved the other's arms carefully, shaking his head. "Will you try?"

"I... I cant... I..."

"You don't know that you can't do something without trying," Noa whispered.

"I'm scared..."

"Of what..?"

"I don't know..."

"Exactly," Noa murmured. "Can we try?"

Ryuuji looked up at him.

Noa tilted his head innocently in question.

"Noa..." Ryuuji whispered, shaking his head. "I just can't..."

The other squirmed. "Pleasseee...?"

"Please don't try to force me, Noa..."

Noa sighed, looking down defeatedly. ".........yes." He whispered, looking away.

"I... I'm sorry..."

"No, no.. I don't want to force you.. I just wanted you to try, but that's your choice.."

"But you... you're upset, aren't you...?"

"Only a little. I'll be fine."

"I'm sorry. I just... I... we're not little anymore, Noa... we're teenagers, and, well... it just... makes me uncomfortable..." He wrapped his arms around his stomach again, looking down.

Noa nodded as he looked away, bringing his knees to his chin. "I.. I know... I understand. It's me, isn't it?"

Ryuuji gasped, looking at him. "What? No, Noa! Its not you at all!"

"You probably think I'm going to try to do something weird to you...."

"No! That's not it at all..."

Noa sighed, burying his head in his arms. "I'm sorry,"

"For what?"

"I don't know! Anything that I've done wrong!" He cried, tears in his eyes.

"Noa, you haven't done anything wrong... all you've done is help me, how is that wrong?"

Noa sighed, shaking.

"Are you... sorry that you're my friend, then?"

"No," He whispered. "I don't know. I just wish we could go back to then, before I knew I loved you..."

"Then you're sorry you love me..."

"No, it's not that at all... I just feel like something's always going to be there between us now that I said that and it's going to make everything uncomfortable.."

"There's nothing between us, I just... I don't like myself. It has nothing to do with you..."

"You'll try to love me but you won't try to love yourself?"

"You're different, Noa... You... you're special. I'm just... me."

"You're special too," Noa murmured. "And it's going to take practice for you to see that."

He nodded slowly. "Exactly. My shyness has nothing to do with you. Its just my dislike of myself..."

"You'll never learn to like yourself if we can't deal with your fears,"

"Yes but... I... can't do it right now. I just started getting used to trying to like myself, its just... sudden..."

Noa sighed and pouted, putting his head back down. "I'll just stay here and be quiet. You might want to take your stupid little diary with you too."

Ryuuji frowned. "Noa... why do you keep thinking its your fault?"

"I'm not! I'm not thinking it's my fault! It would just be so much fun, though..." He muttered. "But it's fine, because that's just me being stupid and dwelling on the past again. Go take your shower."

"I'm not going to leave you feeling so bad..."

"You've done it before."

"But I'm not going to do it now."

"I'm just getting in your way again! I'm going to go home," He muttered, but didn't move to stand.

Ryuuji looked away, now annoyed. "You know what? Fine. I keep trying to tell you that its not your fault, but if you don't want to listen, then I give up! Go home! I'm going to go take a shower and go to work." He started for the door without another word.

Noa stood, following and grabbing for Ryuuji's shoulder. "It's not that I think it's my fault! Just.. you wanted to take a shower and I went all weird and crap, and now you're mad and I'm sorry..."

Ryuuji stopped, but did not make a move to look at Noa, still frustrated.

"Please forgive me and take your shower?"

He remained silent still, turning to look at Noa.

The younger wiped at the tears that were in his eyes. "I do not like it when we fight..."

"Why do you always do that?" Ryuuji asked suddenly.

Noa furrowed his eyebrows. "Do what?"

"You always say its your fault, and no matter how much I tell you its not, you keep saying it is. You've been doing it since we were young."

"I.. I don't know. At my house it always is my fault.. Seto's always mad at me for something. He usually gets less mad if I say I'm sorry,"

"But I don't get mad at you for stuff most of the time. I only get mad because you always say you're sorry when it isn't your fault."

Noa swallowed, nodding.

Ryuuji sighed, pulling away from him. "I don't want you to take a shower with me, but... could you... sit in the bathroom? I don't really trust myself..."

Noa seemed quite hurt at that first statement as it flashed through his mind and he looked down, dropping his hand.

Ryuuji frowned at that. "I'm sorry... I just... don't want anyone to really see what I've done to myself..." he motioned to his stomach quietly. "Its somewhat sickening to look at..."

"I've seen it before," He murmured.

"Not when I wasn't wearing anything, though... its... worse when I have nothing on. And I... don't really feel right about it. Sorry, its not you, its just... I don't want anyone looking at me... in the school locker rooms I always hide..."

Noa nodded quietly, turning and staring at the other's torso. He brought his fingers up, running his fingertips up the other's stomach and over his chest. "I still think you are beautiful," He whispered sadly.

Ryuuji pulled away, wrapping his arms around himself as he looked down, as if ashamed. "That makes one of us..."

"I've had many.. well... dreams about you.. and I don't think anything could possibly change my mind..."

Green eyes widened as Ryuuji blushed, but otherwise did not move.

Noa blushed as well, looking away. "You are everything I ever wanted, Ryuuji..."

The elder's eyes closed tightly at those words, as he gripped the material of his pants tightly, trying not to cry.

The other boy watched him sadly. "Please do not be upset..."

Ryuuji frowned sadly, opened his eyes to look at Noa. There was a moment of silence that passed between them, before he sighed. "You... you're going to see me without clothes anyway... and you need a shower... you... you might as well join me..."

Noa smiled, looking up with a blush. "Are you sure?"

The elder nodded, his frown turning into a smile.

Noa laughed, running up to him and throwing his arms around the other. "Yay!"

Ryuuji gave a small giggle, petting Noa's hair.

"Let's shower, neh?"

"Yeah."

The younger boy started down the hallway.

Ryuuji followed, reaching back to undo his ponytail.

The younger turned swiftly to his left and headed into the bathroom, humming.

Ryuuji stepped in behind him, avoiding looking at the mirror or the toilet.

The younger boy turned, shutting the door and smiling slightly at Ryuuji.

The elder weakly returned the smile.

Noa stepped up to him, brushing his hair from his eyes.

Biting his lip, Ryuuji looked away.

"We can't shower with our clothes on," Noa said softly.

"Y-Yeah..."

The younger boy smiled. "Want me to take off my clothes first?"

Blushing, Ryuuji nodded.

Noa chuckled as he moved back a bit to strip himself of his hoodie, followed by a black t-shirt.

Ryuuji's eyes moved away from Noa, only to rest on the mirror. He could not tear them away.

The shirtless boy looked over, before standing in front of the mirror and placing both hands on his hips.

Ryuuji continued to stand there, staring at himself in horror.

Noa lifted a hand, placing it on the other's cheek and pulling his eyes from the mirror.

Ryuuji looked at him, before reaching up to touch his own cheek. "Why didn't you tell me I look like shit?"

"Because you don't, Ryuuji!" Noa responded loudly. "You're so lovely I do not know how you can see otherwise..."

"No, I mean... I look like I got run over by a car." He looked back at the mirror. "I need more sleep..." He motioned to his face, which obviously showed how tired he was.

Noa chuckled only slightly. "We need to shower,"

"Yeah..." Frowning, Ryuuji looked over at him slowly.

The younger blushed a bit, not exactly used to being shirtless.

Biting his lip once more, Ryuuji slowly slipped his vest off.

Noa smiled at that, waiting.

He fingered the edge of his own t-shirt quietly, looking down.

"We're doing this equally," Noa murmured, chuckling.

"I know..." Ryuuji replied, looking down. He slowly slipped his shirt over his head.

The other boy smiled as he looked Ryuuji over, looking back up at his best friend's face. "You're still beautiful. I have no idea what you're so worried about."

Blushing even more, Ryuuji wrapped his arms around his stomach, shirt still in hand.

Noa smiled. "Drop the shirt, Ryuuji."

It feel from his hands instantly.

Noa chuckled, looking down at himself. "I suppose this means I have to take off my pants?"

The elder remained silent, staring at his own stomach. It was obvious that he was underweight.

Noa moved to place his hands under Ryuuji's cheek, lifting his eyes to meet sapphire ones.

Ryuuji frowned at him, shifting uncomfortably.

Noa moved to hug him quietly, smiling at the warmth of the older boy's skin pressed against his own.

The elder returned the hug with a small sigh.

Noa couldn't help himself, pressing further and nuzzling the other boy's neck gently.

Ryuuji didn't move any further, not knowing what to do. His body became somewhat tense as he stared at Noa.

He kissed the other's neck softly, barely pressing his lips against the skin before stepping reluctantly back to undo his belt.

Ryuuji's hand moved up to touch the spot Noa has kissed, as his eyes moved to Noa slowly.

Noa looked up from undoing his belt as it fell to the floor with a small clink.

Tearing his eyes away, Ryuuji looked quietly at the floor.

"Ryuuji? Something wrong?" Noa asked, tilting his head.

"N-No..."

Noa nodded as he carefully and nervously removed himself of his pants.

After a moment Ryuuji did the same, blushing even more.

Noa chuckled as he looked up nervously, shifting.

Wrapping his arms around his stomach again, Ryuuji let his eyes roam over the bathroom. They froze as they fell on the toilet.

Noa looked over, following his best friend's line of vision and sighing as he moved to get the other's eyes in a different place. "Ryuuji..."

The elder squeaked. "Y-yeah...?"

"Get your mind on other things.."

"L-like what...?"

Noa stood in front of him in only boxers, which he was about to take off. "Anything but vomiting, Ryuuji..."

Ryuuji looked over Noa, before blushing, covering his face with his hands.

Noa chuckled, turning the other boy around and slowly walking them to the shower. He laughed as he tilted his head. "Me first?"

"Y-Yeah..."

The younger boy sighed, nervously pulling off his boxers and letting them fall to the floor with a blush as he looked away.

Biting his lip, Ryuuji tried his best not to look as he pulled off his own, letting them fall beside Noa's.

Noa immediately moved his eyes upwards, looking anywhere but below his best friend's waist. "Ahh.. yeah.."

Ryuuji reached over, turning the water on. He held his hand in it until it was the right temperature he wanted, before stepping in.

Noa jumped in after him carefully, blushing and continuing to stare at the other's chest, or face.

Grabbing the soap, Ryuuji started to do what people do in showers: bathe.

Noa watched him quietly, before taking some soap from the boy's chest to blow a bubble with it.

Ryuuji watched him a moment, before giggling.

The other looked up at him, blushing and giggling as well.

Taking some soap, he placed it on top of Noa's head.

"Hey!" Noa protested, still laughing.

Smiling, Ryuuji blew on it, and the soap went flying.

Noa chuckled, reaching up to mess with his own hair with a pout.

Smiling, Ryuuji went back to cleaning.

The younger boy smiled as well, before moving swiftly to hug Ryuuji from behind.

Gasping, Ryuuji looked over his shoulder at Noa.

The younger rested his chin on Ryuuji's shoulder, body pressed closely to Ryuuji's.

Ryuuji blushed. "Noa...?"

"Hai?" He whispered in question, smiling innocently.

"W-what are you doing?"

Noa dropped his arms, stepping back. "Sorry..."

Ryuuji frowned lightly. "I... Its okay. You just surprised me is all..."

The younger blushed. "Ehh.. I dunno what I was thinking..."

Ryuuji blushed as well, missing the feel of Noa's body pressed against his.

"I won't do it again, if you don't want me to.."

"I... I didn't mind..."

"You sure..?"

"Yes..."

Noa smiled softly. "May I do it again?"

Ryuuji nodded slowly.

The younger smiled and moved to walk back over to Ryuuji, wrapping his arms back around the other's waist and pressing their bodies together once again as the faucet ran the warm water over their bodies.

Smiling, Ryuuji closed his eyes, leaning back into Noa.

Noa rested his chin once again on Ryuuji's shoulder, smiling.

"Noa...?"

"Yes?" The younger asked softly, looking up.

"I... I love you..." this time was not like the other's, however. His voice held something different: a different meaning. It was full of real, true love.

Noa blinked, and smiled as his head moved up from the older boy's shoulder. "Really?" He whispered.

"Yes..."

Noa smiled and nuzzled Ryuuji's neck from behind, kissing his jaw line softly. "I love you too,"

Smiling, Ryuuji turned around. He began to wash off Noa's arms.

The younger boy blushed, blinking and giggling as he watched.

Turning Noa around, the elder washed his back.

"Having fun?" Noa asked, still trying to not look at the other's package.

"You're really dirty," Ryuuji stated matter-of-factly.

"…Thanks.." He rolled his eyes, sarcastic. "Hey Ryuuji? Would you mind if I looked? It's driving me nuts?"

Ryuuji blinked, before giggling. "Sure..."

Noa smiled, turning around to swiftly look down, study, and look back up. "I'm good now."

Laughing, Ryuuji quickly dunked Noa's head under the fauset. He pulled out his shampoo and poured some into his hand, before applying it to Noa's hair.

The younger blinked, turning to study him quietly, before closing his eyes in fear of getting the shampoo in them.

Smiling, Ryuuji kissed his forehead, before returning to washing.

Noa blushed, sighing.

Running the water over Noa's head, Ryuuji giggled.

Noa pouted, shaking his head of water.

"You're too cute," The elder told him, grinning.

Noa blushed, looking up through darkened bangs.

Ryuuji reached up, pushing some of Noa's hair away from his eyes.

The other smiled, walking over to Ryuuji to kiss him gently.

Ryuuji smiled lightly at that.

Noa hugged him carefully, this time not pressing their bodies as close together for obvious reasons.

Smiling, Ryuuji slowly moved to clean his own chest.

Noa grinned and moved to help, running his fingers gently over the other's soft and soapy skin.

Ryuuji blushed, giggling nervously as Noa's hand met his stomach.

Noa grinned and moved to kiss the elder's navel, kneeling as his right hand accidentally brushed Ryuuji's penis.

The elder gasped, both from the touch and from Noa's kiss.

The other boy grinned, letting his hand brush over the area again.

Ryuuji let out a small whine of pleasure, pulling away from Noa as best he could.

Noa looked up at that. "Do you not want me to do that? I'll stop,"

Ryuuji blushed. "I just..."

Noa moved up from his knelt position. "Yeah?"

"I'm not really sure, Noa. My mind is all clouded right now..." he looked over at clock on the wall. "And I'm almost late for work..."

"I could go fast if you'd really like it," Noa smirked.

Ryuuji's blush increased. "I'm going to take my shower now..."

"Awww, you're no fun..." Noa teased, hand sliding up the other boy's member.

Ryuuji pulled away, looking at Noa.

Noa blinked, looking at him and pulling his hand away fully. He frowned, feeling guilty. "Sorry,"

Dipping his head under the water, Ryuuji grabbed the shampoo.

Noa swallowed. "I shouldn't have pushed.. "

He poured some into his hand, before starting to wash his hair quietly.

Noa stopped saying anything as he looked away.

Finishing with his hair, Ryuuji turned the shower off.

Noa looked up at him. "Are you mad?" He whispered.

"A little," he said honestly.

Noa nodded. "I understand," He said softly. "I won't do it again,"

"Its not that I don't want you to do it... its just... its not the right time."

The younger boy nodded still.

"Come on, I've got to get to work..."

Noa nodded, stepping quietly out of the shower.

Ryuuji placed the last box of cereal on the shelf, sighing as he looked at Noa.

Noa smiled slightly, bouncing in his step.

"Hey, Noa?"

"Yeah?"

"Are you a virgin?"

The younger boy blinked at such an odd question. "..yes. Why?"

"Why do you know so much about sex, then?"

Noa furrowed his eyebrows, tilting his head. "I.. I don't really know that much..."

"Well, you know more then me..."

"How?"

"Hmm... maybe because I spent the last two years puking instead of paying attention to my own sexuality?"

Noa sighed. "I don't really know anything beyond what I've possibly done to myself..."

Ryuuji was quiet for a moment, before he sighed: "Which is more likely more then I've done to myself." He stepped into a walk, motioning for Noa to follow him.

Noa blinked and followed, wondering why Ryuuji was so interested all of the sudden.

He walked into the backroom, picking up a stack of water bottles. Walking over to the correct spot, he put them down. "Damn, I hate this job..."

"Why?" Noa blinked.

"Because all this lifting hurts my back..."

Noa knelt. "I can help you..."

Ryuuji looked at him, raising an eyebrow. "I don't think you could. You don't work here..."

"So?"

"I can lift them... I'm not weak. It just hurts..."

"I never said you were weak, I only offered to help so you aren't hurting..."

"I'd love the help, and thank you for offering, but I think it might get me fired..."

Noa sighed and nodded. "What time do you get off work, love?"

"What time is it now?"

Noa glanced at his watch. "2:18"

"I get off at seven..."

Noa nodded. "Won't you be tired?" He asked, concerned.

Ryuuji shrugged. "Yeah, probably."

Noa bit his bottom lip with a frown. "Poor baby.."

Ryuuji gave him a small smile at that, before looking at a woman who asked him something. He directed her to the second isle with a forced smile.

The younger watched her, then looked back at Ryuuji. "You look so cute in that apron acting all official!" He squealed.

Ryuuji blinked, before blushing. "Yeah, well..."

Noa smiled, moving in to kiss his cheek.

Giggling, Ryuuji moved some hair back behind his ear, before he went to go straighten some things on the shelves.

Noa teetered along behind his boyfriend happily.

He sighed at a mess some child hade made on the floor, before moving to the back room to grab a mop.

Noa followed. "I'm going to help you this time,"

"You want to help me clean up a mess?"

"Yes," He said, grinning. "And I would have had a mess to clean up earlier if you didn't reject me, but I'm going to suppose it was for the best and keep my little hands to myself. Ryuuji messes are fun and tasty. At least, I would think... they are in my dreams.. of course, that's just my dreams and they could be off..." The younger rambled quietly to himself.

Ryuuji rolled his eyes, grabbing the mop and a bucket.

Noa laughed, clapping as he skipped along next to Ryuuji.

The elder began to quietly clean up the mess, humming.

Noa leaned down, watching him.

He finished cleaning it up, heading back into the back room.

Noa once again followed.

He opened the door to the outside and poured the water out.

"Is this what you do all the time here?"

"Pretty much, yes."

Noa blinked, sighing and hugging him carefully.

"I do other things as well..."

"Oh? Like what?" He asked with a smile.

Ryuuji looked down. "Like make myself throw up..."

Noa furrowed his eyebrows. "Ryuuji..."

"But I'm not going to do that anymore..."

The other smiled, kissing Ryuuji softly. "Good, I'm glad."

Ryuuji gave him a weak smile in return, placing the mop back in its spot.

"Now what do you have to do?" He asked, looking at his watch. 2:29.

"Roam around the store until something happens."

Noa nodded. "Ahh.."

Ryuuji collapsed on the sofa as soon as he walked inside, letting out a long sigh. The day had been filled with stacking boxes and cleaning up isles.

Noa walked over to the tired boy, kneeling and petting his head softly. "Would you like me to get you a glass of water and maybe an orange? Or an apple?"

"Yes... I'm hungry. Thank you."

Noa smiled, nodding. "I'll be right back," He murmured as he stood, and headed off down the living room to go and get an apple from the refrigerator, along with a small glass of ice water. He soon brought them back to Ryuuji with a little smile, holding them out.

Smiling, Ryuuji sat up. He took a bite of the apple with a happy little sigh.

Noa grinned, giggling.

He drank some water, before continuing with the apple, watching Noa.

Noa took a seat on the unoccupied edge of the couch, bouncing in his happiness.

Smiling, Ryuuji offered him a bite of the apple.

Noa held a hand up, shaking his head. "No thank you,"

Frowning, Ryuuji put it down. "When was the last time you ate?"

"Lunch, remember? I just don't like apples."

Shrugging, The elder went back to eating the apple.

Noa continued his bouncing, before stripping himself tiredly of his hoodie and setting it in his lap as he leaned his head back.

Finishing his meal, Ryuuji leaned against Noa.

Noa blinked, blushing, and smiling down at the other.

"I love you, Noa..."

Noa moved to kiss Ryuuji's forehead. "I love you too,"

He let out a happy sigh, closing his eyes. "Goodnight..."

"Ryuuji..." Noa murmured, pulling his chin up. "Sleep in your bed. I can't stay sitting up as your pillow for 9 hours."

"Aww... you're mean, Noa..."

"I need to go home.." Noa muttered.

The elder frowned, pulling away. "Yeah..."

"Not unless you don't want me to, of course," He smiled. "I could stay another night, if it's okay with your Mom..."

Ryuuji smiled, before turning toward the stairs. "Mom!?"

"Yes?" came the reply.

"Can Noa stay another night!?"

"If its okay with his parents."

Noa smiled at that, chuckling. "Got a phone?"

Reaching over to a small table, Ryuuji grabbed the portable, handing it to Noa.

The younger took it with a mouthed, 'Thanks', before dialing his number.

After a small talk of how it was two nights in a row, his mother finally gave in. Noa clapped happily. "Yay! Thank you!"

Giggling, Ryuuji drank down the rest of the water.

He turned the phone off and set it next to himself on another little table, bouncing in his seat again.

"So..." Ryuuji glanced around. "What do you want to do?"

"I thought you wanted to sleep," Noa chuckled, raising an eyebrow.

"Yeah, but I also went to spend time with you!"

Noa chuckled. "Well, I dunno..."

"Hmm..." He tried to sit up, only to fall back onto the sofa with a yawn. "Maybe I should sleep..."

Noa nodded, reaching a hand out to Ryuuji. "Yes,"

Smiling, Ryuuji took his hand.

Noa moved off of the couch to pull his boyfriend up, chuckling.

Ryuuji stumbled as he was being pulled up, and fell onto of Noa, sending them both to the floor.

Noa blinked, blushing furiously and laughing.

Ryuuji blushed, moving to get off him. "Sorry..."

"No, no.. I rather like that position."

He looked up at Noa quietly.

The other blinked at that, tilting his head. "Sorry..."

Smiling lightly, Ryuuji slowly moved to kiss Noa softly.

Noa giggled, reaching up to pet Ryuuji's hair softly from behind, leaning up and into the kiss.

He slowly pulled away to look at Noa with a smile

Noa pouted, but was still glad with the kiss.

"I don't want mom to see," he explained. "She won't let you stay the night anymore if she knows."

Noa nodded, blushing and moving to sit up. "Ah. Yeah.."

Ryuuji got off of him, standing up slowly.

Noa tried to stand as well, laughing. "Bed?"

Ryuuji nodded with a smile, before hopping up the stairs two at a time.

Noa followed him with a little giggle, shaking his head.

Coming into his room, the elder boy collapsed on the bed. He looked over at the desk, spotting his journal.

Noa glanced over, then looked back at Ryuuji.

Getting back up, he reached over, grabbing the small book. He flipped through the pages with a small sigh.

"Ryuuji?" Noa blinked.

"At the start of this journal, I really loved how I looked. Through the whole thing... I... I started to hate myself..." he stopped on a page. "This is the page I wrote after the first time I made myself throw up..."

Noa stepped over, slowly wrapping his arms around Ryuuji's waist and closing his eyes as he held him tightly.

Ryuuji leaned against him. "Do you... do you want me to read it to you?"

"Yes..."

He swallowed, before taking a deep breath. "A-Alright..." Running a finger over the words, he started to read:

"Well, I did it. I finally went and did it. I've been taking about it for such a long time, but I never thought I'd be able to. I forced myself to throw up. And it hurt... god, did it hurt! I can't ever let anyone know... if they ask why I'm losing weight, I'll just tell them I've been working out. Its worth it, though; its worth the pain, and the horrible sound, the horrible taste, everything else... Its completely worth it!

Its so weird to make yourself throw up. I had to use a toothbrush, because I couldn't press hard enough with my fingers. I was too afraid. The toothbrush was the only thing in the bathroom I could use: it was the first thing I saw. I think I ruined it. I didn't get it out of my mouth in time and I ended up dropping it into the toilet. I'll tell mom that I need a new one, and she won't ask questions. If she does, I'll just tell her I already threw it away.

I wonder what Noa would do if he found out? He'd probably be pretty mad. But I don't think he'd understand that I NEED to do this. I hate myself, I can't stand looking in a mirror... I'm horrible looking.

Mother's coming, I'll write later."

The younger boy hummed quietly, crying and holding the other boy more tightly from behind.

Ryuuji let the book slip from his hands as he closed his eyes.

Noa slowly let go to turn the other boy around and hug him properly, this time placing his arms around Ryuuji's neck and sniffling into the taller boy's shirt.

Reaching up, Ryuuji slowly began to rub Noa's back, closing his eyes. "I'm sorry..." he whispered.

"I love you..." Noa whispered softly, nuzzling Ryuuji's neck and slowly pressing the both of them backwards and to the bed.

"I love you too," came the quiet reply.

Noa pressed Ryuuji down and onto the bed, sitting on his lap and kissing him softly.

Ryuuji let his eyes slip shut as he returned the kiss.

Noa smiled, before pulling away. "Ryuuji...?"

"Yes?" He whispered, opening his eyes to look at Noa.

"May I go a little farther this time?" He whispered softly, wanting permission.

Ryuuji was silent for a moment, before he nodded.

Noa smiled as he returned to kissing the other, letting his tongue slip from between his own lips to run softly over Ryuuji's.

Closing his eyes again, Ryuuji opened his mouth, running his own tongue lightly over Noa's.

Noa smiled, lifting his palms to rest them on Ryuuji's jaw line, slipping his tongue further in the elder's mouth, tasting him with a purr.

Slowly Ryuuji wrapped his arms around Noa's waist.

He soon broke the kiss, reluctant, to breath.

Green eyes slowly opened to look at Noa as Ryuuji's own breath came in short little pants.

"Mm..." The other smiled, tilting his head in question.

He gave a small smile, moving up to move some hair from Noa's eyes.

"Shall I wait before I push further?" He asked.

He nodded slowly.

Noa smiled, before hugging him. "I shall, then,"

"Thank you, Noa..."

"It's your choice, too," Noa whispered softly, smiling. "But you're welcome,"

He returned the smile warmly, before: "Lets get to sleep, ne?"

Noa nodded quietly, smiling softly.

Crawling under the covered, Ryuuji held them up for Noa.

Noa smiled and got in the bed carefully, rolling onto his side.

"Goodnight," Ryuuji stated, reaching over to turn off the light.

Noa shifted, before: "Ryuuji?"

"Yes?"

"May I cuddle you?" He asked softly.

Ryuuji smiled. "I would love that."

Noa smiled happily, moving to press his body gently into Ryuuji's side, setting a palm on Ryuuji's chest, along with his head, and closing his eyes. "I love you,"

Smiling, Ryuuji snuggled into him. "I love you too."

Noa yawned, soon falling asleep.

Ryuuji rolled over the next morning, falling straight out of the bed and onto the floor.

Noa winced at the loss of his warmth, blinking and looking up.

There was a pause, before Ryuuji stated: "Ow."

"Ryuuji-chan? Daijoubu?"

He sat up, rubbing the side of his head. "I'm okay..."

Noa leaned over the bed, holding out a hand. "Poor boy..."

Smiling, Ryuuji took his hand.

Noa helped him to stand, still sitting in the mess of blankets on the older boy's bed.

Ryuuji got back on the bed, unwrapping the blankets from Noa carefully with a small laugh.

Noa pouted, grabbing for them and pulling them around himself with a furrowed brow.

Blinking, Ryuuji gave a small grin, before pulling them off Noa again. He curled up against his young love, before wrapping the blankets around the both of them.

Noa smiled, moving to kiss the elder boy.

Ryuuji closed his eyes, returning the kiss with a small purr.

Noa smiled and pressed their bodies together, giggling. "I think we'll need a shower, mm?" He asked, breaking the kiss.

"Oh?" Ryuuji smiled a bit. "Sounds like fun."

"Mm... yes, lets."

He got off the bed, moving over to his dresser to get some clothes to change into.

Noa stood, and glanced around.

Smiling, Ryuuji headed out of the door quietly.

Noa giggled and followed after him, finally dropping the blankets back on the bed and following in his low cut night shirt.

Ryuuji reached back and undid the braid his hair was in.

The younger boy watched with a smile, shaking his head furiously to muss it up.

Smiling at the younger boy, Ryuuji closed the bathroom door after they were both inside. He slipped his night shirt over his head without question.

Noa giggled nervously before doing so as well.

He watched Noa quietly with a small smile, running a hand in his hair.

"Um, well.. shower?"

"Yes, yes!" He giggled lightly, before slipping out of the rest of his clothes and turning on the water.

Noa, naked, continued to blush and look away.

Once the water was warm enough, he stepped in.

Noa followed him, stepping in right after.

Ryuuji purred lightly as the warm water hit him, his eyes closing.

Noa smiled lightly, moving Ryuuji's hair to kiss the back of his neck.

Green eyes opened to look at Noa.

Noa looked up. "Hm?"

"I love you, Noa."

"I love you, too..." He whispered, hugging the other from behind again.

Ryuuji pressed against the younger boy's body with a happy sigh.

Noa let his fingers trail up, making patterns on the older boy's stomach.

"Hey, Noa...?"

"Yes?"

"You... you can go farther, if you want..."

Noa smiled at that, kissing Ryuuji's shoulder and licking the spot. "But.. do you want me to?"

"Yes..."

Noa smiled again. "What would you like for me to do?"

"I... just... do whatever you want to. I just..."

"Yes?" Noa asked softly.

"I don't know how to word it, really..." he blushed lightly, looking down.

Noa smiled. "Try as best you can, I would like to please you," Noa whispered.

"Thank you, Noa..."

"You don't need to thank me. What is it that you cannot say?"

He sighed, before taking Noa's hand in his own. Turning around, he pressed himself against the younger, claiming Noa's lips with his own.

Noa blinked and smiled, kissing him back.

Wrapping his arms around Noa's waist, he pulled the younger as close as he could without hurting him. His arousal pressed into Noa's leg lightly.

Noa chuckled lightly, letting a hand trail down to the older boy's hardened member, fingertips brushing over his smooth skin lovingly.

A small gasp escaped Ryuuji's mouth as he rested his head on Noa's shoulder.

"You like?" He whispered in his love's ear questioningly.

"H-hai..."

Noa grinned, kissing the other boy's neck, before moving his hand away.

Ryuuji let out a small whimper at that.

Noa smiled. "Here, lean yourself against the wall, okay? Or you can sit, either one.."

Ryuuji leaned against the wall with a questioning look.

"I recommend you sit."

With an even more questioning look, he sat on the edge of the bathtub/shower.

Noa smiled as he knelt before the other's cock, eagerly licking at the tip.

Ryuuji let out another gasp, half of surprise, half of pleasure.

Noa smiled as he lifted his hands to hold his lover's waist, licking in teasing trails along the older boy's arousal.

"N-Noa!" The elder cried, closing his eyes.

Noa pulled himself away, looking up and taking his index finger to press it against Ryuuji's lips. "Hush.. your Mom, remember?"

He nodded slowly, whimpering quietly at the loss of contact.

Noa grinned, before dipping down to deep throat the other's entire cock in one swift movement.

Ryuuji quickly covered his mouth, letting out a muffled cry of pleasure.

He hummed along Ryuuji's penis, massaging his silken skin with his tongue in circling motions.

Ryuuji's breath came in small gasps as he moved his free hand to run through Noa's hair.

The younger boy pulled away, just to lick down, kiss the tip, and go back onto his member.

After a few moments, Ryuuji gave another muffled cry of Noa's name, before he came quickly.

Noa smiled, pulling his mouth away to swallow, and lick up what seed was left from the other's penis.

Ryuuji watched him quietly, blushing.

He got up from his knees and leaned down to kiss Ryuuji softly.

Ryuuji returned the kiss, before standing up.

"Did you enjoy that?" Noa asked nervously.

"Yes... very much... thank you."

Noa smiled, kissing Ryuuji's chest again. "Mmm.."

Smiling, Ryuuji pulled him into a hug. "i love you."

"I love you as well, Ryuuji.."

"Now... about getting clean..."

Noa giggled. "Mm... hai?"

Ryuuji smiled, before pouring a bit of shampoo on Noa's head.

The younger boy bounced happily back into Ryuuji's bedroom, smiling. "Onaka ga suite imasu!"

Ryuuji followed with a light smile, brushing his hair back into a ponytail.

"Kimi mou?"

"Iie."

Noa gave the other a very stern look.

Ryuuji cringed lightly under it.

"You'll need to eat a little something..." Noa muttered, still in a towel as he came up to kiss his love's cheek softly.

Ryuuji nodded. "Hai."

"I.. sorta need something to wear.." Noa blushed.

There was a long silence, before Ryuuji started laughing. He moved over to his dresser, pulled out a pair of black jeans, and a red hoodie with a picture of a dice on the front, reading "Las Vegas!"

Noa blinked, smiling and catching the clothing.

Grinning, Ryuuji went back to the task of brushing his hair.

Noa changed himself into the outfit, finding the hoodie to be impossibly large but giggling anyways and bouncing around in his boyfriend's clothes. "I need my hair brushed too!"

Laughing, Ryuuji handed him the brush.

"You do it!"

He blinked, before shrugging and walking over to the bed. Sitting down, he motioned for Noa to sit on the floor in front of him.

Noa hoped over to him, pulling up the hoodie sleeves only to have them fall back down. He sat down on the floor happily, looking up with much difficulty.

Smiling, Ryuuji moved Noa's head so he was looking ahead. He slowly began to brush the younger boy's hair, softly.

Noa purred, closing his eyes joyously.

He continued to brush the younger's hair, separating the darker and lighter aqua.

Noa smiled and bounced a bit, blushing.

"All done!" He stated with a smile.

Noa giggled, moving back and jumping up with a clap. "Yay!"

Ryuuji laughed. "You are so cute!"

Noa blushed at that, chuckling. He moved to sit in his love's lap, kissing him happily.

Smiling, Ryuuji wrapped his arms around Noa's waist. "What time do you have to be home?"

The younger sighed, bouncing slightly. "Anytime as long as it's still light outside."

Ryuuji frowned. "Oh..."

Noa tilted his head. "Something wrong?"

"Well, I have to go to work, but when I get off, its going to be dark..."

Noa hummed. "Can't you say you're sick..? And call in? And we could go out to a movie and lunch?"

Ryuuji frowned. "Noa... as... as much as I would love that..."

The younger looked down, nodding with a saddened look. "I.. I know. Ryuuji, you work too much..."

He frowned once more. "I'm really, really sorry..."

"No, it's okay... I guess that means I have to go home right now, huh?"

"I.. its up to you... I start work in an hour..."

"I.. I'll head off then.."

"I'm really sorry, Noa... its just... they'll fire me if I don't come to work..."

"They make you work too much already!"

"I know, but I can't lose this job! I'm saving up the money to move out..."

Noa blinked, furrowing his eyebrows. "Oh. I.. I understand, then..." He got off of Ryuuji's waist, turning around and starting for the boy's bedroom door.

Ryuuji blinked, getting up. "Noa...?"

"Yeah?"

"What's wrong? What did I say?"

"Where do you want to move to?" Noa asked suddenly.

Ryuuji frowned. "Somewhere around this area. Not far. A little closer to my job."

"You don't even like working there!"

"Noa, why are you so upset all of the sudden? Do you think I want to move away from you?"

The younger stopped, looking away and holding the edge of the hoodie in his mouth.

Frowning, Ryuuji walked over to him slowly. "Noa... Noa I would never want to move away from you! I want to spend the rest of my life with you!"

"But we'll never get to spend time together when you're working 7 days a week!" The boy replied, hugging the hoodie to himself.

"That's only right now! I'm working to make up for all the sick days I took!"

Noa stepped back, wincing at the older boy's tone and nodding weakly.

The elder sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. "Noa... I'm sorry I yelled. I just... I took a bunch of sick days off a while ago, and I'm making up for it. Normally I only work after school."

The younger boy nodded again quietly. "I see... are you mad? Should I leave?"

Ryuuji shook his head. "Only if you want to."

"When will we get to hang out again?"

"I'll see you tomorrow at school. I have some time before I have to start work, we can hang out for a while then."

Noa nodded quietly. "That works, I guess..." He smiled sadly.

Frowning, Ryuuji moved to hug him. "I love you, Noa."

Noa hugged him back. "I love you too... hey.. are we going to let the kids at school know?" He asked, fiddling with the edges of Ryuuji's hoodie on his wrists.

At that Ryuuji smiled. "Of course!"

Noa blushed, giggling. "Yay! I.. I don't wanna leave, though. I wanna stay and I want to cuddle.."

"I still have forty minuets before work, and its only a five minuet drive."

"We can snuggle then?" He asked hushedly, happily.

"Hai."

The younger squirmed happily in Ryuuji's arms in the overly loose hoodie, face flushed.

Smiling, Ryuuji pulled them both over to the bed. They laid down together, cuddled up.

Noa smiled, taking Ryuuji's hand and weaving their fingers, looking up at his love quietly.

Ryuuji returned the look with a smile, kissing Noa on the forehead softly.

"I love you." Noa whispered, staring at their hands with a contented sigh. He snuggled further into the boy's side, nestling himself into the other's body quietly. "I always have,"

"I love you too, my Noa. More then anything in the world."

Noa moved to kiss the back of Ryuuji's hand softly, giggling lightly and in a low tone. "You remember when we first kissed?"

"Yes."

Noa smiled. "How old were we? 6?"

"You were six. I was seven."

The younger nodded. "Mm, yes..." He smiled. "Did I blush?"

Giggling lightly, Ryuuji nodded.

"I thought so," He commented happily. With a rustling of blankets, Noa moved to kiss the other boy's lips softly, then his cheek, and the tip of his nose, before snuggling his head back into Ryuuji's chest.

With a little laugh, Ryuuji moved a hand up to pet Noa's hair softly, smiling.

The younger boy smiled, letting out a soft breath of air. "I'm sorry I avoided you on Thursday," He murmured. "Every time I'm around you, ever since that first kiss, you always gave me this fluttering feeling in my chest when I saw you and I knew I'd melt if I got too close..."

"Oh? I'm flattered, I think..."

Noa chuckled. "It took me a while until I realized it was love..."

Smiling, Ryuuji placed a hand on the younger boy's cheek. "I'm glad it is."

"Are you... are you sure you're in love..?"

"I've never been more sure of anything in my life."

Noa smiled and moved to kiss Ryuuji's palm softly.

Ryuuji smiled once more at that, humming lightly.

Noa moved to drape his arm over Ryuuji's opposite shoulder in a slight hug.

The elder snuggled up against him with a small, happy sigh.

"Will we live together?" Noa asked.

"As soon as I can afford a place."

Noa smiled, chuckling. "That will be nice,"

Ryuuji nodded as well, moving some hair out of his face.

"Will we have pets?"

"If you want them."

Noa bounced a bit. "Yay!"

Giggling, Ryuuji looked at the clock.

Noa sighed and closed his eyes.

"I really have to go to work, Noa..."

Noa nodded, not yet moving from his position as he opened his eyes.

The elder glanced down at him sadly.

"I.. I'm getting up, really."

With a sigh, Ryuuji sat up slowly, pulling away from Noa's grasp.

The other pouted but finally moved, getting off of Ryuuji like a good little boy and being quiet.

"I'm sorry..." The elder whispered, frowning. "But I have to go to work."

"I know! I know you have to go to work, I wasn't protesting anymore!"

"S-Sorry..." He stood up, walking over to his closet, before pulling out his work clothes.

Noa sighed, heading over to him and turning the boy around to kiss him softly. "I'll see you some other time, ne?"

"Yeah... I'll see you at school tomorrow."

"I.. I love you,"

"I love you too, Noa."

Noa smiled, kissing him again and heading out the door.

"Baibai, Noa."

Noa sat at his usual seat in the cafeteria, reading a book quietly with his glasses half way down his nose and his bag sitting idly next to him in a different seat.

Ryuuji came up, falling text to him with a loud sigh.

Noa looked over at him with a large smile, still wearing the enormously large hoodie and hugging Ryuuji instantly.

Smiling, Ryuuji returned the hug. "How are you?"

"I'm good," He commented happily. "Seeing you made my heart do a little flip, though."

With a little laugh, the elder pushed some of Noa's hair behind his ear. "I love you."

Noa moved to kiss him in a pleased sort, licking at the other's lips. "I love you too,"

Smiling, Ryuuji shoved his backpack out of his lap and onto the floor.

Noa grinned and moved to lean on Ryuuji's shoulder.

The elder put his arm around Noa's shoulder with a happy sigh. "I missed you."

"I missed you more."

"Hmm..."

"Nani?"

"I don't think its possible for someone to miss someone else more then I missed you!"

Noa giggled, before bouncing a bit. "You have to eat,"

"Hai, hai." He reached into his bag, pulling out his lunch.

Noa watched him closely, before moving to lay down on the bench with his head in Ryuuji's lap.

Smiling lightly, Ryuuji started to eat, petting Noa's hair.

Noa closed his eyes, happily snuggled.

Finishing his food, Ryuuji leaned back against the table lightly.

"Ryuuji-chan?"

"Hai?"

"I love you,"

"I love you too, Noa."

The younger rolled onto his side, facing the other's stomach and giggling.

Laughing lightly, Ryuuji poked his nose. "You're too cute."

Noa looked up at him. "Interesting view I have here,"

"Oh really? Do you like it?"

"Yes,"

"Well that's good."

Noa moved himself up to hug Ryuuji quietly, snuggling him and nuzzling his neck.

Ryuuji held him tightly, closing his eyes.

Noa purred as he cuddled into Ryuuji, ignoring the odd looks of others.

"I don't have work tomorrow, by the way."

"Really?"

"Really."

Noa smiled, pulling away just to glomp the other again.

Laughing, Ryuuji hugged Noa tightly.

"Does that mean we can hang out?"

"Yup!"

"Yaay!" Noa cried, moving to kiss Ryuuji again, this time pressing his tongue into the older boy's mouth.

The elder was a bit surprised, but moved his own tongue against Noa's.

The younger boy blocked out a couple of odd stares in their direction, smiling into the kiss.

Pulling away, Ryuuji rested his forehead against Noa's with a smile.

Noa blushed, chuckling.

Smiling, Ryuuji pulled away. "I have homework! Neh!"

"Awww! No fair!" Noa whined, pouting.

Giggling, Ryuuji poked his nose again. "Not right now, silly."

"Oh," He giggled, blushing.

Smiling, Ryuuji kissed his forehead. "I'd better go. My next period is on the other side of the school."

Noa furrowed his eyebrows. "But.. that's only in 5 minutes..."

He nodded. "I have to stop by to see Mr. Flatters to ask him about makeup work. Mother is forcing me."

"Oh. Okay..."

"Are you afraid I'm going to throw up?"

Noa nodded quietly.

Ryuuji frowned, before holding out his hand. "You can come with me, Noa."

Noa smiled, bouncing and taking his love's hand.

Smiling, Ryuuji put his own backpack on, before taking Noa's.

Noa blinked. "I can get that.."

The elder grinned. "I know."

Noa blinked again, watching him.

The elder headed out of the lunch room, carrying both bags.

The younger followed along quietly. "Thank you,"

"Hmm? For what?"

"For carrying my bags, silly." Noa chuckled, before wringing both arms around Ryuuji's arm.

Smiling, Ryuuji came up to the classroom with the teacher he was supposed to talk to.

Noa let go of his love's arm quietly.

He opened the door and spoke with the teacher a bit, before heading out, handing Noa his bag as the first bell rang.

Noa took it, before kissing the other boy softly. "I love you, see you after school,"

"Hai. I love you too."

Blushing, the younger boy headed off.

Ryuuji stood beside his car quietly, drawing something on his hand with a pen.

Noa stepped up to him as he bounced, hoodie bouncing with him.

Looking up, the elder smiled, waving.

"Ryuuji-chan!"

"Hi!"

Noa hugged him tightly, jumping the other.

Laughing, Ryuuji held him up, spinning him around.

The younger boy giggled delight, blushing.

Smiling, Ryuuji put him down. "How was class?"

"I missed you..."

"I missed you too."

"What shall we do?"

"Hmm... we could go walk around the mall."

"Can we buy things?"

"Sure!"

"Yay!" Noa clapped, kissing Ryuuji's cheek and squirming happily once more.

Laughing, the elder unlocked the car.

Noa waited before sliding in quietly.

The elder started up the car and pulled out of the parking lot in silence.

The younger boy stared out his window with a tiny smile.

They came up to the mall along with a hoard of other teenagers.

Noa got himself out of the car with little difficulty, stretching and adjusting the hoodie around his thighs.

Getting out as well, Ryuuji locked the doors and closed his, fixing his hair.

Noa bounced over to his boyfriend with a smile.

Returning the smile, the elder took his hand.

Noa blushed and squeezed Ryuuji's hand.

They stepped into the crowded mall together, narrowly avoiding some teenage girls rushing in.

Noa smiled, chuckling and staying close to his love's side.

Ryuuji glanced around the small stores.

"Mmm...."

"Where to first, love?"

"Ahhh... food?"

"We just ate lunch not to long ago!"

"About 3 hours!"

"I'm only supposed to eat three meals a day, and its not time for dinner."

Noa nodded. "Hai, hai."

Ryuuji smiled. "So... where to?"

"Mmm... Hot Topic?"

"Where?"

Noa chuckled, grabbing Ryuuji's hand and making a run.

Ryuuji stumbled along behind him, confused.

They stopped before the store happily as Noa pointed.

Ryuuji stared inside with a raised eyebrow.

"Come!" Noa exclaimed, dragging him inwards.

The elder let himself be dragged, wincing at the loud rock music.

Noa smirked, pointing at things. "Observe..."

Ryuuji looked at them quietly, not saying anything.

Noa tilted his head. "Are you not amused?"

"Not really. Should I be?"

"I dunno. I really like the store.." He muttered, before bringing Ryuuji out of the door again. "I don't really see anything worth it anyways.. so, where do you want to go?"

"I don't know. I haven't been to a mall in a long time."

"We don't really have to be here, it was your choice.. there are other things we could do."

"Yeah, well..."

"Mm?"

"I don't really care where we are, as long as we're together."

Noa smiled happily. "We could go to my house,"

"Yeah, we could..."

"Wanna?"

"Sure."

Noa smiled, hugging him. "Alrighty!"

Smiling, Ryuuji headed for the exit by the car.

Noa followed along behind, bouncing.

The elder got into the car quietly.

Noa moved to get in the car as well, leaning over to kiss Ryuuji softly.

Smiling, Ryuuji started up the car without a word.

"Are you upset? You seem awfully quiet..."

"I'm just tired..."

"Oh. We can nap at my house if you'd like."

"Yeah..." he pulled the car out of the parking spot and headed into the mall trafic.

Noa watched him quietly, eyebrows furrowed.

After sometime they pulled up to Noa's house.

Noa got out quietly, closing the door silently.

Ryuuji got out as well, locking the car and closing his own door.

Noa went back up to him, not as bouncy.

Ryuuji gave him a tired smile.

Noa moved to kiss him, before taking the elder's hand.

Ryuuji brought Noa's hand up, kissing it lightly, before he headed to the door, still with Noa's hand in his own.

He giggled with a little blush, excited as he followed his love to the door.

Coming up to the door, Ryuuji looked at Noa.

"Mm?" Noa blinked, before letting go of the other's hand to open the door.

Ryuuji watched the door as it opened. It had been about a year since he had last visited the Kaiba household.

Noa smiled as he rushed up the stairs, waiting for his boyfriend to follow.

Smiling, Ryuuji closed the door behind himself, following Noa.

Noa met him up in his own bedroom, leaning on the doorframe.

Ryuuji smiled, eyes moving over Noa's body.

The other blushed, grabbing for the older boy's hands.

With a grin, Ryuuji took Noa's hand in his own.

Noa closed his door and moved to kiss the older boy with a small smirk.

Ryuuji returned the kiss, slipping his tongue into Noa's mouth.

Noa grinned and lifted his hands to hold the other's cheeks.

Pulling away after a moment with the need to breathe, Ryuuji looked into Noa's eyes.

"I love you," Noa panted.

"I love you too, Noa..."

Noa smiled and nuzzled the older boy's neck, purring.

Ryuuji ran his hands up and down Noa's back, closing his eyes to enjoy the moment.

The younger began to nip at his neck softly, happy.

Ryuuji purred lightly at that.

Noa licked at the spot, trailing up and to his jaw line.

Ryuuji's watch chose that time to beep.

Noa blinked and sighed.

Ryuuji let out a long groan. "Damn work..."

"What?"

"I have 15 minuets to get to work."

"But.. I thought you didn't have work..."

"Tomorrow."

"Oh… yeah…"

"Sorry..."

"No, it's okay..." He murmured.

Ryuuji frowned, pulling away from him. "I promise we'll spend all day tomorrow together!"

"Really? Promise?"

"Promise."

Noa bounced. "Yay!"

Smiling, Ryuuji kissed his forehead softly.

"We're going to have a lot of fun, neh? And we can cuddle!" He cried, nuzzling Ryuuji's chest.

Ryuuji nodded, smiling.

"I love you,"

"I love you too, my Noa."

"Do you have to leave?"

"Well, you could follow me to work..."

"YAY!"

The elder laughed lightly at that. "We'd better hurry, then."

Noa bounced happily in his hoodie with a happy nod. "Hai!"

The younger followed Ryuuji out of the store after his shift, yawning.

"Mm....You have any threes?" He asked after eyeing his own cards carefully.

Ryuuji rubbed at his eyes, slamming into his car rather then just stepping up to it.

"You don't look well enough to drive, love."

"I can't just leave my car here and walk home..."

Noa sighed. "Mm..."

"And you can't drive..."

"We could sleep in your car."

"True, but then we would have to go to school tomorrow in the same clothes, smelling like my car..."

Noa giggled. "Very true. Then.. we could get you some coffee and hope you'll be awake enough to drive?"

"That works."

"Alright. Then let's go back into the store, and get you coffee."

Nodding, Ryuuji spun around, only to get dizzy and lean back against the car.

Noa sighed. "Maybe we shouldn't let you drive..."

"I'm fine..." he stated, standing up straight again.

"You sure? We could leave the car here and walk back to my house, then take the bus to school tomorrow and pick your car up after school,"

"Yeah..."

"Mm? Would you like to? I don't want you getting in an accident and dying..."

"Yeah, I probably shouldn't drive. Lets do that..."

Noa smiled, hugging him. "And you could stay the night with me, neh?"

Ryuuji smiled at that as well. "Hai."

Noa bounced, reaching for his hand as they began to walk, Noa skipping.

Ryuuji followed along tiredly.

"My poor little lover..." Noa mused. "Would you like me to carry you?"

Ryuuji blushed, thinking about it for a moment. He nodded.

Noa grinned, before scooping the elder boy up in his arms as they walked.

Not long after Ryuuji fell asleep in his arms.

Noa smiled at his sleeping lover, trying his best not to wake him as he opened the door to his house, closing it almost too loudly behind himself.

Ryuuji let out a small groan, shifting in Noa's arms.

Noa walked them up the stairs, this time waking Ryuuji quietly. "Ryuuji?"

"Hai...?"

"Time to get into my bed,"

"Mm...hai..."

Noa chuckled, kissing his lover softly and pulling up the heavy comforter.

The black haired teen let out a soft sigh.

Noa tilted his head to the side. "Hm?"

"I love you, Noa..."

"I love you too," Noa smiled.

Ryuuji crawled quietly into bed, looking up at Noa with a weak smile. "As long as you know I love you, I'm happy..."

Noa blinked. "What are you worried about?" He asked as he slid into the bed next to his love.

"Nothing, nothing..."

"Ryuuji.....?"

"Hai?"

"Please tell me..."

"Lets just go to sleep, okay?"

Noa shook his head, turning and lifting himself up fully to stare at Ryuuji, scared, "Ryuuji, you've got me scared..."

He looked into Noa's eyes quietly. "Noa, its nothing... I just want you to know that I love you."

"There's something more, I know it, please.... we tell each other everything, remember?"

"I swear there's nothing else..."

Noa looked away, crossing his arms. "Ryuuji..."

"I'm serious, Noa! I'm perfectly fine..."

"There is something, I know it!"

He sighed, before looking away. "Do you... do you want to know what it is?"

"Yes," He whispered. "Yes, I do,"

"My mom's really sick, Noa... she..." He covered his face with his hands. "She's dying..."

"Ryuuji..." Noa's eyes widened. "Ryuuji, are you serious?"

He nodded, sniffling.

Noa moved to hug his love, squeezing him tightly.

"I... I didn't want to tell you. I'm so scared, Noa.."

Noa swallowed, petting the older boy's hair softly and trying not to cry. "Ryuuji... god, I'm so sorry..."

"Can... can we just sleep? I don't want to think about it..."

Noa nodded, sighing. "Yes, we can.." He whispered, pulling away gently.

Ryuuji reached over, latching onto Noa as he snuggled into the younger boy.

Noa smiled. "I love you, Ryuuji. And.. I'm very glad you tell me things," He whispered, kissing his lover's forehead.

"Y-Yeah... goodnight, Noa... I love you too."

Noa sighed, falling asleep quietly.

Ryuuji happily rushed up and hugged his car the next day as they walked into the parking lot.

Noa laughed lightly, running to catch up with Ryuuji.

Quickly checking to make sure everything was okay, he unlocked the doors.

Noa rolled his eyes with a laugh.

Smiling, he opened the door and got in.

Noa moved to get in as well. "How have you been feeling?" Noa asked. "I've been meaning to ask."

"Good, good," he said with a grin as he checked over everything inside the car.

Noa furrowed his eyebrows. "You sure?"

He nodded, smiling. "Why wouldn't I be?"

"You answered so quickly..."

"Ah... I'm fine other then the obvious..."

Noa nodded. "Hai. What shall we do?"

"We could go to a movie!"

"That works!" Noa smiled, bouncing in the seat. "Secret Window! I have to see that."

Nodding, Ryuuji started the car, pulling on his seat belt.

Noa did his seatbelt as well, smiling.

Pulling out of the parking lot, Ryuuji headed off to the movie theater.

Noa stared out his window, sighing sadly. "I'm still very sorry about your Mother..."

There was a  moment of silence, before Ryuuji said: "Yeah... I... I'll be alright, though. I just need to be there for her."

Noa nodded, smiling sadly.

After another moment of silence, Ryuuji pulled the car into the theater parking lot.

Noa stepped out of the little car with a small smile, still bouncing in his overly large hoodie and running over to his lover.

Laughing lightly, Ryuuji took his hand, moving up to the theater. He bought two tickets for a show that was almost starting, and headed inside. "Want anything to eat or drink?"

"No, no, I'm okay."

"Alright."

Noa bounced in the theatre, holding Ryuuji's hand tightly in his own. Ryuuji stepped in as well, looking around quietly.

Noa hung on Ryuuji's arm, grinning and moving to kiss him.

Ryuuji happily leaned into the kiss.

"I love you,"

"I love you too."

"May we go to your house or mine now and cuddle? I'm kinda tired... please?"

"I would love that!" He smiled.

Noa chuckled and clapped. "Yay!"

Smiling, the elder put his arm around Noa's shoulder as they walked to the car.

Noa jumped up the stairs, waiting for his love to follow.

Giggling, Ryuuji followed him, rocking back and forth.

The younger went up to his room, bouncing in his step still.

The elder followed with a smile, eyes trailing to watch Noa's body.

Noa stopped at his door as he waited eagerly for his lover.

Ryuuji came up to him, kissing his cheek lightly.

Noa blushed, closing the door as he ran over to the bed.

Following him, Ryuuji watched Noa quietly.

Noa turned back to him, hugging him happily.

Sitting on the bed, Ryuuji let his eyes roam over the room. it looked excactly like his, down to the very places that everything was set. He and Noa had made their rooms look alike when they were younger.

Noa moved to slip into the bed, sitting up and waiting for Ryuuji.

Slipping off his shoes and taking out his hair, Ryuuji slipped in beside him quietly.

"Something the matter?"

"Nothing more then normal."

Unable to move it seemed now, Noa could only lay as a gasping mass on top of the other struggling one. Shudders began to run through his body, sending him scuttling away from the elder with the last of his strength. He collapsed a few feet away, his body going into convulsions as his mind could not understand the situation.

Noa nodded. "Would you still like to cuddle?"

Without answering, Ryuuji curled up against him.

Noa smiled and moved to snuggle into his lover happily. "I'll take that as a yes,"

Smiling, Ryuuji kissed him. "Goodnight, love."

"Mm.. goodnight. I love you,"

"I love you too, Noa. Goodnight."

The rest of the week went by without much happening. Ryuuji worked all week, and all weekend. Wednesday the next week was like the rest: he had to work after school.

Noa sighed as he listened to the teacher talk, nearly falling asleep on the desk.

A girl in the class sighed happily as someone walked by the door, his black hair pulled back into a ponytail.

Noa blinked and looked up, furrowing his eyebrows. As the teacher's back was turned, he stood, running out and into the hall to follow Ryuuji.

Ryuuji stepped up to the bathroom silently, walking inside. He paused at the mirror, looking at himself, before nodding, as if affirming what he was about to do. Quietly he stepped into a stall, not bothering to close the door: no one used the bathroom, it was out of the way of all of the classes.

He kneeled before the toilet, before sticking his finger in his mouth for a moment. There came a gagging sound, before he threw up all of his lunch, coughing a few times after.

Noa heard the noise as he ceased walking, eyes widening. "No... but..." He furrowed his eyebrows and let himself fall to the floor in front of the bathroom door, leaning his back against the wall and staring away from the door, bringing his knees to his chest.

Repeating the action, Ryuuji coughed a few more times, before collapsing against the side of the wall, exhausted.

"Fuck no... he.. he lied to me... again.... what.. what else has he lied about? I bet... I bet he even lied about loving me as well...."

Closing his eyes, the black haired teen forced himself to get up. He stumbled over to the bathroom door, opening it slowly.

Noa made absolutely no move to look up, only stand and begin to walk away.

Green eyes widened as he spotted Noa, and Ryuuji slipped to his knees. "N-Noa...?"

He shook his head, covering his mouth as he began to cry again. "No."

"Noa..." The elder slowly reached toward Noa, coughing again. "Noa, I..."

Noa turned and glared, smacking the hand away and breaking into a run down the hall.

Ryuuji let out a gasp, getting up. "Noa!"

He stopped when he rounded a corner, falling to the floor in his tears again. "Bastard... fucking lying bastard..."

Weakly walking foreword, Ryuuji coughed once more. "Noa... I'm sorry..." he whispered, letting out a choked cry. "Noa..."

"I hate you!" He cried down the hall, pulling himself back into a ball. "I fucking hate you..."

Leaning against the wall, the elder didn't even bother to round the corner. He couldn't even look at Noa. "I'm sorry..." he repeated, his voice cracking.

"Leave me alone, you liar... I bet you lied about your mother, too, didn't you?"

"I... I... yes..."

Noa glared a the wall before himself, standing and making his way over to the other boy. He looked up at him quietly, tears staining his cheeks and still dripping from the edges of his eyes. "What else did you lie about? Your love? I bet you did. I bet you don't even love me. You were using me, weren't you? Because my love wasn't good enough?!" The blue haired boy swiftly raised a hand to make a feirce contact with the older boy's face, shoving him back by the shoulders and storming off. "I NEVER WANT TO SEE YOU AGAIN!"

Moving a hand up to his cheek, Ryuuji let out a choked sob. He made no move to go after Noa, only whispering: "I love you..." before curling into a ball and leaning against the wall tiredly, his eyes slipping closed. He continued to sit there, sobbing quietly.

Noa fell against a wall near the gymnasium, a bit farther away from where the elder was. Sticking his hands in his pockets, something pricked him and he swiftly retreated his hand, blinking at the blood that dripped from his fingers. He smiled at it slightly, before reaching into the pocket to see what the object was. A pocketknife he had forgotten to snap closed. Taking it, he examined it further, looking at the silvery sharpness of it's little blade. He looked to his pulled up sleeves, now staring at his pale white skin, the veins that showed through his wrists as a nice blue colour. He lifted the little knife, placing it against the skin near the middle of his arm, far below his wrist but not too close to his elbow. With a small breath of air the young boy drew the blade back along the skin quickly, cutting apart the skin and piercing into it slightly. Blood began to come up from the small laceration, and he watched it with a very calm expression, before moving to lap it up with his tongue, the metallic taste of blood mixing with his salty tears in his tastes.

Opening his eyes tiredly, Ryuuji coughed once more, a bad feeling washing over his body. He forced himself to get up and began walking, leaning heavily against the wall. He continued to walk for some time, finding himself near the gym, his body ready to pass out. He spotted Noa and remained silent, until he noticed the blood, and the knife in the boy's arms. Green eyes widened once more, as he broke into a run, suddenly full of energy, toward the other boy.

The younger boy was continuing to cut little marks in the underside of his left arm with the blade, humming to himself as the blood made it's slowed trails down to his elbow, where the gravity compelled it to go.

Falling beside Noa, the black haired boy reached out, snatching the knife. He pulled it from Noa's hands, tossing it across the hall.

Noa stared at his hand before registering that the blade was now missing. He did not make any move to look up, however, licking at his self inflicted wounds.

"Noa..." Ryuuji choked, taking the boy's arm. "Look... look at what you did to yourself... you... you're being a hypocrite..."

Noa looked down. "Ryuuji? If everyone in the world were crippled? And they had no hair, no eye color, and they could not walk, could not speak.. and they could barely live... would you finally feel beautiful then? Would you?" He murmured.

Frowning, the elder boy averted his eyes. "Noa..."

Noa stood, leaving a small puddle of blood on the tiles where it had dripped. "I bet you would, you selfish bastard. That's all you think you need. It to feel better than everyone else." Noa glared, before walking off, ignoring the drips of crimson liquid that fell from his fingertips.

"No... you're wrong. Even then I would feel ugly..."

"I tried to help you and my love meant nothing. You did not try to help yourself and for that I'm not sorry. I cannot live without you but it seems I have to. You can kill yourself slowly if you'd like, but I refuse to be in love with you and watch. Because you do not love me back, I know you lied. And for your lies there is nothing I can do but get myself away from you. You might die, but I really don't think I'll care,"

"Noa, no! No... I never lied about loving you..."

"If you loved me, there would be no lies in the first place. Now leave me be,"

"I... I can't help it. Noa, I'm sorry... I just... I can't stop... I thought I could for the longest time, but then I got fired and I didn't see you and... I'm so sorry..."

"Get me my knife back,"

"No. I'm not going to let you hurt yourself because I've been stupid."

"I've been hurting myself for much longer than you could possibly know, Ryuuji. Oh - did I not tell you? Well, I'm sorry then. It must not feel too good to be lied to. And what is this about getting fired? If you were fired, where did you go? Where did you go when you said you had work and I wanted to spend time with you? You cannot love me like I love you. It's obvious now..."

"I was looking for jobs in that time... I... god, Noa... I love you more then anything in the world. Do... do you really want me to go? If its what you want, I will..."

"If you go I will only kill myself more than I've hurt myself. Did you not notice when were showered? There are scars, Ryuuji." Noa reached over to his right arm, lifting the sleeve and running a bloodied finger over lines and lines of jagged and crisscrossed patterns, all the way from his elbows to his wrists. "There are scars everywhere. My thighs, my arms, ankles, legs, hands."

Green eyes slowly narrowed. "So all this time, you were angry that I was hurting myself, and you...?"

"I stopped. I stopped hurting myself when I finally, finally believed you would love me in return,"

"But I do love you!"

"When I wished for you, ever since I was twelve, it started to hurt. It hurt so much that I discovered making myself hurt on the outside, made the hurt on the inside disappear."

"Noa, I do love you. I would never lie about something like that...  you know me well enough to know that..."

"I thought I knew you well enough that you were a wonderful person, inside and out!" He cried, turning around. "I thought you were the kind of person who loved themselves, and would never cover up a lie with another! Making me think your mother was dying was even more serious, RYUUJI! You know what?" He held up his bloodied left hand, flipping the older boy off. "Fuck. You. Just.. go the fuck to hell. If they let you come back, try to understand what real love is like. I may be dead by then."

Slipping to the floor, Ryuuji stared at him in horror, eyes filled with tears. He made no move to reach out for Noa, afraid to make the boy even more upset.

"I'm going to go get my knife back,"

"H-Hai..."

"You.. you really don't care, do you?" Noa asked quietly, crying now beginning again as he fell to the flood in the puddle his own blood created. "That's how selfish you are. You would care less if I were dead. I.. I can't believe I wasted so many of my years wanting you to touch me..."

"You're wrong, Noa. If you kill yourself, I'll be right behind you. But I'm not going to stop you if its what's going to make you happy..."

"It would make me happy if you held me right now, Ryuuji. It would make me happy if you would stop lying and you would let us help you. If you ate, I would be happy. If you spent more time with me, I would be happy. I am in love with you and you don't seem to notice enough to realize how much you hurt my feelings with your lies."

"Noa, I... I'll try to stop, but I need help. I need a lot of help..."

"You never cared about our help. Would you like to go to a hospital? Do you want people putting you on drugs?" He asked, before sadly moving to lick his blood again.

"I want you to be happy, Noa. But... I can't stop on my own..."

"Go to the counselor, then. I'm sick of trying to be there for you. I'm tired of loving you. I need to wash my wounds."

"Noa... you... you just said that you wanted me to let you help me. So that's what I'm doing..."

"I said that would. I meant previously. You made too many mistakes," Noa muttered, standing and making his bloodied way to the bathroom.

Leaning foreword, Ryuuji let his body fall limply to the ground. He didn't move, aside from a sob escaping him every few moments.

Noa soon returned from the bathroom, wounds cleaned with toilet paper and paper towels wrapped around his arm to keep his blood down and at a reasonable flow. He stared at Ryuuji quietly. "I do not wish to go out with you anymore. There are other, more caring people, who I am sure are willing to sit and make vain efforts for you every second of the day."

Not responding, Ryuuji only stared off into space, his eyes distant. He let out another weak sob, his entire body shaking.

"I can still try, if you'd like, but you just can't stop hurting me, I don't know what to do..."

"I love you, my Noa..." was the only words that escaped Ryuuji's mouth before he closed his eyes.

Noa furrowed his eyebrows and fell back to his knees, before the other. He lifted the older boy up, crying once again. "I love you too, Ryuuji. I love you more than anything and I do not want to leave. I do not want to hurt anymore..." He whimpered. "I just want you to be okay again and I want us to both be happy. I want for us to cuddle every night and kiss and never be apart..."

Ryuuji's hands clenched weakly to Noa's shirt, as he tried in vain to pull the younger boy closer. "I'm sorry..." he repeated this for some time, rocking back and forth.

Noa moved himself to snuggle into Ryuuji, crying and shaking his head. "Shhh... I love you and it's all going to be okay..."

His eyes slowly opened half way to look at Noa tiredly. "I love you..."

Noa held the other tightly. "I want to go home. You need to eat and I want to properly dress my cuts so they don't get infected. Then I want to fall asleep in your arms. I would like to wake up there as well, laying quietly on your chest. Your beautiful body..."

"Noa... I..."

"Yes?"

"I don't feel so good..."

Noa furrowed his eyebrows, moving back from his position and sighing. "How so...?"

"I'm tired... I can't feel most of my body... I think I'm about to pass out..." He closed his eyes, before forcing them open again. "God, I'm so stupid..."

"Shh, no. I think we need to get you to a hospital..."

"No, I think I'll be okay. I just need some food and some sleep..."

Noa nodded. "Let's.. let's walk home. I'll carry you."

The elder smiled weakly at this. "Thank you... god... I'm so sorry, Noa..."

Noa shook his head as he stood, moving to pick his lover up. "I would kiss you but I think you'll need to brush your teeth first..." Noa muttered as he began to walk with him, out the back doors of the high school.

Not responding, Ryuuji leaned against Noa, his eyes closing again. "I love you..."

"I love you as well, Ryuuji.."

Ryuuji awoke the next morning to the sound of Noa's alarm clock going off.

Noa moved over to beat the thing down, before cuddling back into his lover's side, still trying to sleep. His left arm rested over Ryuuji's chest, fully bandaged.

With a groan, the elder curled against Noa, ignoring the sounds of the boy's family.

Noa fell back asleep not too long after, happy with the warmth his lover gave off and contented in his small embrace.

Ryuuji gripped Noa's shirt tightly, closing his eyes, trying to fight off the urge to throw up, even thought he had yet to eat.

Ryou coughed, blood slipping from his lips as his body shook. He shifted his eyes to look at Bakura, although he could not really see the elder.

Noa breathed.

"N-Noa..." Ryuuji whispered, shaking the younger boy lightly.

He whimpered and tried to hold his eyes shut.

"Noa, please, wake up..."

Noa finally yawned himself awake, saddened by the pleasure of just being with his love and in his arms. "H-hai..?"

"Will you... will you tie me to the bed, or something...?"

Noa raised an eyebrow, before pondering that. "Exactly why...?" He asked suddenly. "You don't have some sort of bondage fetish I don't know about, do you?"

"No... I just... I'm afraid of what I'll do even you even let me out of your sight. God, I'm scaring myself..."

Noa nodded. "I'm not going to tie you down but I can keep you here," he said, sitting up. "Why are you scaring yourself?"

"I'm so desperate right now... god, its like the bulimia has taken me over..."

Noa sighed, before moving to hug Ryuuji's head to his chest, petting his loose and flowing hair gently.

Ryuuji let out a muffled sob, hugging Noa tightly, clenching his eyes.

"God, I love you..." Noa whispered, petting him with his injured arm.

"I love you too. And I'm so sorry that I lied..."

"No, no, it's.. okay.."

"No its not... lying is never okay, Noa... Its a horrible thing to do..."

Noa nodded quietly, looking away.

"And, god... if I could take it all back..."

"Shh, shhh..." Noa murmured, moving in for a small kiss.

Ryuuji returned the kiss weakly, before curling against Noa, tears in his eyes.

"Ryuuji, please do not be upset,"

"I'm so scared..."

"Shh.. it will be okay, I promise..."

"I love you so much, Noa..."

"I love you as well..."

The elder let out a small sob, his body shaking.

Noa held the older boy tightly and set his chin on the shaking boy's head.

"I'm so glad you're here..."

"There's no where I'd rather be,"

"Y-yeah..."

"Ryuuji, I think it's best we rest laying down..."

"Hai..."

Noa moved them so they lay, smiling sadly and still snuggling Ryuuji into his chest. He moved to kiss his lover's neck softly, biting there.

The elder let out a soft moan at Noa's touch, opening his eyes half way.

Noa smiled and continued to kiss the other boy's neck and collarbone, licking and nipping alternately.

"N-Noa!" Ryuuji gasped, closing his eyes again. "Noa..."

"Want me to continue?" He whispered softly, unsure.

Frowning, the elder pulled away. "I... I'm not sure..."

Noa nodded and ceased action.

Frowning, Ryuuji looked away. "I'm sorry. I just... I feel really sick at the moment..."

"No, it's fine. I understand," He giggled. "I was just seeing if it would make you feel better to take your mind off of it,"

"Are you... are you sure?"

"Of course," Noa whispered. "Just being with you makes me happy."

This made Ryuuji smile warmly.

Noa smiled as well, closing his eyes and snuggling back into his love.

Wrapping his arms around Noa, Ryuuji closed his eyes happily.

"I love you,"

"And I you."

Ryuuji was not in the room when Noa awoke later.

The younger boy looked around, confused and now worried.

His bedroom door was wide open, and there were a few noises coming from the hall.

Noa sighed softly and moved himself out of his comfortable bed to get up and check, peering out from his doorway.

Sitting just outside his room, resting against the wall, was Ryuuji.  He looked over at Noa quietly, giving a weak smile. "Hey..."

"Ryuuji-chan? What.. what are you doing?" He asked softly, before kneeling before him in only the hoodie.

The elder looked away quietly. "I went to the bathroom and locked the door from the inside. Your brother said that you guys have a key somewhere in the house, so I figured if anyone needs to use the bathroom they can use a key... then I sat out here for a while trying to convince myself of how stupid I am..."

Noa smiled softly, before it slowly turned to a frown. "You… you didn't throw up this morning did you?"

Looking at him, Ryuuji shook his head. "No. I locked the door before I could..."

Noa moved to hug him immediately, smiling. "Good. I'm glad,"

Returning the hug, Ryuuji sighed quietly. "I love you, Noa..."

"God.. I love you too, so much.."

"Thank you for helping me, Noa..."

"You're welcome..." He whispered.

Sniffling, Ryuuji moved to push some hair out of his face.

"Something wrong?"

"I'm hungry..."

Noa smiled, standing. Mokuba was at a friends, and Seto was god-knows-where, so walking around in only a hoodie seemed like it would be okay.

Ryuuji stood as well, fixing his silky flame covered pants.

Noa grinned, bouncing and letting the hoodie bounce as well as he headed forward. "Come,"

Letting out a small laugh, Ryuuji followed him.

Noa ran forward, heading quickly down the steps.

The elder followed, reaching back to pull his hair out of the messy braid it was in.

He headed into the kitchen, padding softly over the marble flooring in the area and looking through cupboards.

Taking a seat at the table, Ryuuji watched Noa. He didn't know much about the boy's kitchen.

"We have soup... would you like that? With crackers? Or a cheese sandwich..? Anything you'd like I'm sure we can find..."

"Soup and crackers sounds good to me."

Noa smiled and nodded. "What kind of soup...?"

"Do you have chicken broth?"

Noa looked over the many cans. "Hai!"

"Could I have that? Please?"

"Of course!" Noa chuckled, reaching for the can and grabbing a pot from a hanging wall adornment. Setting it on the gas stove the younger boy made to cross the room and retrieve a can opener as he readied the area for the food he was about to cook.

Smiling, Ryuuji laid his arms on the table, resting his chin on them, watching Noa quietly.

Soon the younger was standing before the soup, stirring it mindlessly. "Would you like some bread or crackers, too?"

"No thank you, love."

Noa nodded, and pulled the pot off of the burner, shutting off the gas and moving towards the sink to grab a bowl and pour the soup into it.

Reaching up, the elder rubbed the sleep from his eyes, yawning a bit.

He made his way over to the table and leaned over, setting the bowl down before Ryuuji with a little spoon.

"Arigato," Ryuuji muttered tiredly, pulling the bowl foreword. After a few words, he started to eat slowly, humming as the warmth filled his mouth.

Noa took a seat across from him and laid his head on his arms with a small blush as he watched Ryuuji.

After a moment, Ryuuji fished it, letting out a happy sigh.

Noa tilted his head in question.

"I don't feel all that well... chicken broth always makes me feel better."

Noa smiled. "Good thing we have a lot of it, then."

This made the elder's smile widen. "Hai."

Noa smiled once more, standing to take Ryuuji's empty bowl.

Ryuuji rested against the table, watching Noa.

Noa set the bowl in the dishwasher, and turned back to Ryuuji, pulling the hoodie down and over his butt with a little blush.

Ryuuji sent him a grin, before hopping out of his seat.

Noa watched him with interest.

"So... now that we're skipping school, what are we going to do?"

Noa blushed, shrugging. "I don't know.." He admitted.

Laughing lightly, Ryuuji wrapped his arms around Noa's waist. "Silly."

Noa blushed furiously, giggling.

"Mm..." Leaning foreword, the elder kissed Noa's forehead. "I love you."

Noa chuckled, slowly moving to hold his hands around the taller's torso. "I love you too,"

Ryuuji rested his cheek against Noa's shoulder, eyes slipping closed.

Noa moved to kiss his neck softly.

The elder purred lightly, a smile on his face.

He grinned and sighed, pulling his left arm away to make sure he hadn't bled on Ryuuji. "I should change these," He said, motioning to his bandages.

A frown crossed Ryuuji's face. "You really should..."

Noa nodded and turned, heading for the nearest bathroom.

Ryuuji sat down quietly, staring at the table.

Not too long after the other returned, arm cleanly bandaged once more.

The elder was half asleep on the table, humming a small song tiredly.

"Ryuuji-chan..?"

"Hai...?"

Noa smiled and moved to sit in Ryuuji's lap.

Blushing, the elder looked at him with a small smile.

"I love you,"

"I love you too, my Noa."

Noa nuzzled him softly, sighing.

Ryuuji pulled him close, closing his eyes slowly.

"I like just staying like this,"

"As do I, love."

The younger shifted, closing his sapphire eyes.

One of Ryuuji's hands came up to pet aqua hair slowly.

"So, what shall we do?"

"Hmm... we could watch some movies and snuggle."

"I like that idea,"

"Hmm... what amine's do you have?"

Noa chuckled. "LOTS. My brother loves to collect them."

"Oh?" Smiling, Ryuuji moved some hair from his eyes. "Lets pick one out, then."

Noa nodded, bouncing.

Heading into the living room, Ryuuji looked over the animes quietly.

Noa got up and followed after him, holding the hoodie down.

Holding up one titled "Pita Ten", the elder gave his boyfriend an old, scared look.

Noa blinked. "Nani?" He asked softly, looking over.

"Its so...cute."

Noa giggled at that. "I'm sorry,"

Shaking his head, Ryuuji went back to looking.

Noa watched over his shoulder, hoodie riding up as he gave it a miffed look.

Ryuuji grinned, watching Noa.

"Nani!?" Noa cried, sticking his tongue out at his boyfriend.

The elder looked up innocently, before putting his arms behind his  back, humming.

Noa pulled the hoodie down once more, still miffed.

Finally, Ryuuji grabbed hold of ".hacksign."

"Mm?"

"This looks interesting enough."

Noa smiled softly and made his way to the couch, pulling a blanket over himself.

After putting the DVD in, Ryuuji sat next to him, pulling out the remote.

Noa sat with his knees to his chest, sighing.

The elder looked at him. "Something wrong?"

He shook his head. "Of course not!"

"You sure, love?"

Noa smiled sincerely and nodded, moving to lean his head on his love's shoulder.

With a smile, Ryuuji started the anime, wrapping his arm around Noa's shoulder.

The younger had fallen asleep on Ryuuji's lap, whimpering.

Frowning, Ryuuji ran a hand in Noa's hair. "Love...?"

He stayed asleep, frown softening and whimpering gone at the movement.

Sighing, Ryuuji turned off the TV and leaned back, closing his eyes.

Noa shifted, turning his head around.

Ryuuji shifted as well, unable to sleep.

Ryuuji continued to sit for some time, just letting Noa sleep.

The younger soon awoke, yawning lightly.

The elder looked down at him quietly, smiling.

"Ryuuji?" He blinked, voice soft.

"Hai?"

"I love you,"

"I love you too, my Noa."

Noa tried to sit up, but was too tired.

Ryuuji moved to pet the younger boy's hair.

Noa purred softly.

The elder smiled lightly at this, moving his other hand up to push some hair out of his face.

"I love you,"

"And I you, Noa."

Noa finally moved up with a little struggle to hug Ryuuji tightly.

Smiling, Ryuuji returned the hug.

"What shall we do?" He asked softly. "It's only 11."

"We could play some video games, or something..."

Noa made a small sound. "Aren't we going to leave the house at all?"

"Aww, but I like your house."

"Maaa."

"Do you want to go somewhere?"

"Mm... Now that I think about it, dressing would be too much effort."

"Good logic, you have."

Noa giggled slightly and moved himself once more to pull the hoodie down.

"So... what was up with that anime, anyway?"

"That's one of those really confusing ones,"

"That Tsukasa boy needs to be shot..."

"Oh? Why's that?" Noa chuckled.

"He was all annoying and whiney... it reminds me of Mokuba."

Noa laughed loudly at that one, nodding. "Very true,"

"Either that or a mix between Seto and Mokuba..." Ryuuji shrugged a bit, before grinning.

Noa bounced a bit and scooted off of Ryuuji to pick up his blanket that had fallen to the floor. He leaned over, ignoring the hoodies riding up again.

Ryuuji watched him with a small smirk.

He grabbed it and held it in his arms, blinking at Ryuuji. "What?"

The elder's smile became that of an innocent. "Nothing, nothing at all."

Noa glared at him in a miffed sort.

Ryuuji stuck out his tongue at that.

"What were you smirking for?"

"Just enjoying the view."

His eyes widened and he threw the blanket at Ryuuji with a laugh, tugging on the hoodie and holding his legs together.

Grabbing the blanket, Ryuuji wrapped it around himself, sticking out his tongue.

Noa crossed his arms, sticking out his tongue as well.

Reaching up, Ryuuji poked the younger boy's tongue, giggling.

He retracted his tongue and moved to invade Ryuuji's lap once more, kissing him softly and pressing his tongue into Ryuuji's mouth.

Purring, the elder moved his tongue against Noa's, his eyes closing.

Noa smiled slightly and placed both hands on the other's cheeks.

Pulling away, Ryuuji opened his eyes to look into Noa's.

The younger boy opened his eyes as well, smiling softly.

"I love you, my Noa..."

Noa nuzzled Ryuuji's neck softly. "I love you as well,"

"I'm so happy... god..."

"Mm?"

"You're with me. That makes me the happiest person on earth..."

Noa smiled softly. "Ryuuji?" He whispered hesitantly.

"Yes, Noa?"

The younger boy bit his lip nervously, holding the other's hand and looking away from him while resting his head on the other's shoulder. "I... I wish for you to make love to me.." He muttered quietly.

Green eyes widened and looked at Noa. "Noa, I..."

"If you don't want to that's fine, I just… wanted you to know..."

"I don't know if I can, Noa..."

He furrowed his eyebrows, moving to look in the other's eyes. "Can?"

"I'm scared, Noa..."

"Scared?" He whispered softly.

"Of hurting you, of going that far, of myself..."

"Yourself?"

He nodded slowly, looking away.

Noa moved the other's head by his chin. "Why are you scared of yourself, love?"

"I don't really know..."

"Then how can you be scared?"

"I just am!"

Noa leaned back, moving his hand from Ryuuji's chin and wincing at his tone with a nod. "Hai," He murmured.

The elder frowned, feeling guilty. "I'm sorry... I just... I'm under a lot of stress right now, Noa..."

"I understand," He whispered softly.

"No... I shouldn't have yelled. I'm sorry..."

"It's okay," He smiled softly, kissing Ryuuji's cheek nervously and laying his head back down.

The elder sighed lightly. "I just... I don't think I'm ready yet..."

"Mm," Noa smiled. "I never said I wanted it right now, I just said I did want it..." Noa whispered, running his fingers over Ryuuji's cheek.

"Yes, we can, someday."

The younger boy closed his eyes, purring happily. "I'm sure it will be wonderful,"

"Yes, it will be wonderful..." one of Ryuuji's hands moved up to pet Noa's hair.

Noa snuggled back into him quietly, happy.

Sighing happily, Ryuuji relaxed, his eyes slipping shut.

"Shall we just cuddle?"

"I would love that."

Noa nodded and moved to cuddle his love, pushing them so they were both laying down.

Smiling, Ryuuji curled around Noa, sighing happily.

"I love you,"

"I love you too, my beautiful Noa."

Noa smiled softly, closing his eyes.

Closing his eyes as well, Ryuuji let out a happy sigh.

The younger awoke from falling asleep on the elder quietly, shifting.

Ryuuji was still fast asleep, a small smile on his face.

Noa watched the other sleep happily.

Shifting, Ryuuji let out a small sigh.

Noa smiled softly.

Opening his eyes, Ryuuji blinked a few times.

"Ohayou,"

"Ohayooooooou."

Noa laughed lightly at that.

Yawning, the elder covered his mouth.

"How are you?"

"Howza wha?"

Noa chuckled. "Mm,"

Rubbing his eyes, Ryuuji looked at Noa. "You're all blurry..."

"I'm.. sorry?"

He giggled, before whimpering. "I'm hungry!"

"Well, we'll go out and get lunch."

"But then you have to get dressed..."

"So?"

"But you're so cute in just a hoodie."

Noa blushed. "Ahh..."

Smiling, Ryuuji got up.

Noa moved off of him.

"Lets get dressed, then, ne?"

"Hai!"

The younger boy walked quietly into the restaurant, smiling.,

Following, Ryuuji bounced lightly.

"Happy?"

"Hai!"

Noa grabbed for his hand with a giggle as the walked into the building.

Smiling, Ryuuji squeezed Noa's hand lightly.

They took their seat, waiting for a waitress.

Looking around, Ryuuji smiled softly.

Noa tapped his foot, looking around.

"So..."

"Waitress..."

"Um... waiter?"

"Nan?"

He shrugged, wondering why both halves of SKIP refused to play the waiter or waitress.

Noa sighed.

A girl stepped up to them, moving her blue bangs out of her face as she handed them the menus. "Hey, I'm Lee and I'll be your server for tonight..."

Noa looked up at the girl with a smile.

"Anything you would like to drink?"

"A coke would be good."

Ryuuji nodded, stating that he wanted one too. Smiling, she headed off.

Noa set his chin in his hands.

"Doesn't she go to our school?" The elder asked, pointing to the waitress.

"I think,"

"I've seen her around...bleh, who cares?"

Noa sighed quietly, shifting.

She came back moments later, handing them each a coke.

Noa took it quietly. "Thanks,"

She gave him a weak smile, pulling out a pen. "Ready to order?"

"Yeah," He muttered, pointing to his choice on the menu and customizing it as he spoke.

Ryuuji did the same and she wrote it down, before heading off.

Noa began to stare out the window.

Humming, Ryuuji pulled out a pen and doodled on the napkin.

The younger looked over, watching him in silence.

Ryuuji continued to doodle for a bit, before looking at Noa with a smile.

"I love you," He hummed in a whispered, leaning towards the elder.

Smiling, Ryuuji ran a hand over Noa's cheek. "I love you too, my Noa."

The younger moved over the table to kiss him lightly

The elder purred lightly into the kiss.

Noa broke it quietly, blushing.

Giving him a smile, Ryuuji pulled back into his seat.

Noa leaned back as well, stretching.

The waitress came up, setting their food down. "Anything else I can get for you boys?"

"I think we're good."

"Alright!" She stepped off quietly.

Noa began eating his meal happily.

Ryuuji did as well, humming.

Owari