Disclaimer: Kishimoto owns Naruto, no doubt 'bout it. 'Kays? 'Kay.
Note: Dedicated as a Christmas gift for another one of my secret santa victims, Laura. Laura, hater of Deidara! xP
Deidara, Humiliated.
Oh, curse that Itachi.
Why did he have to be such a perfect person? His scarlet nails were painted with no blemish, his eyelashes curled to a perfection ('ha, how feminine!' Deidara though), and even that scar on his headband revealing the fact that he was a Rogue ninja was flawless. Whose headband scar could possibly be scratched with a single perfect, oh so perfect mark, after all?
And why did Itachi have to be the (almost) only person in the history of Deidara's lifetime to be able to humiliate Deidara?
For this, Deidara disliked— no, hated Itachi. Yes, he hated Itachi.
It was years ago, when Deidara had just joined the Akatsuki, a secret organization of rogue ninjas that Itachi had made the young blonde artist feel such deep shame. For the second time, that is. For Itachi had humiliated Deidara when he forced Deidara to join the Akatsuki in the first place. Why, that Itachi stopped at nothing to embarrass people—even unknowingly!
Young Deidara had been sat down by the stern Konan, to be taught about exactly why the Akatsuki had been formed, what their next move would be, and so on. Konan-sempai had just finished explaining how Deidara would be paired with a more experienced member, Sasori of the Red Sand, when Itachi strode over.
At that very moment, Deidara yawned. It wasn't to annoy Konan or Itachi, it was just because… he was tired. And bored. After all, who likes to listen to Konan ramble on and on about the Akatsuki? No one. Exactly.
But Konan, with her narrowed eyes, noted Deidara yawning, and frowned. "That's enough for today," she said sharply, an edge to her voice, "Now you go get some dinner for all of us." Thinking this would be a suitable punishment for yawning after her lesson, she smirked slightly. After all, their current hideaway was located at the very top of a rather steep cliff, overlooking the ocean. Where was anyone to get food? Especially if one didn't know about the village lying in the valley not so far from the hideaway… it was a village that was hard to find, and yet the only source of fresh food around. Unless one wanted to catch their own meals, of course. And Konan had not yet covered the geography of the Akatsuki hideouts when Deidara yawned, ticking her off.
"Yes…" Itachi remarked in that aloof, proud way of his, "Newbie Akatsukis should get dinner for his seniors."
Deidara glared at the two older shinobi, a fierce gleam in his eye. "I'll show you," he muttered under his breath. Yes, he knew that it was hard to get food around here, and no, he didn't know about the village.
Nodding his head curtly, still with the angry, yet expression faintly on his face, Deidara turned his back and strutted off out of the hideaway. Itachi was suddenly there, next to him. Deidara fought to hide the the fact that Itachi had startled him in appearing suddenly there, and stopped in his tracks.
"Your Kisame-sempai likes shark meat," he whispered into Deidara's ear slyly, "Catch some shark meat for us and you'll get on everyone's good side. Especially Kisame… he does get angered easily, and if you win some favor with him now, he may give you some voice in the organization and win you more favor with all the other members…"
Deidara paused for a moment, thinking of the older Akatsuki member. Kisame, with the enormous sword forever strapped to his back, the slits on the sides of his cheeks, and the bloodthirstiness living in his narrow eyes. Yes, great good would come of earning his favor.
With that, Itachi disappeared again, and Deidara continued on his way. The young blonde scrambled over the cliff rocks, down to a small overhanging over the ocean around ten feet. Now he proceeded to make clay models, turn them into fishing machines that exploded once they caught and brought back the prey, and set them to be attracted to sharks. Half an hour later, the teenager climbed back into the hideout, shark slung over his shoulder.
Itachi, sitting casually on a chair, playing cards with Konan, Kisame, and Sasori at that time, looked over and spotted Deidara.
"Hey, our youngster's brought back our dinner." He announced, grinning in the direction of Kisame.
Kisame glanced up at Deidara, then his eyes hardened.
"You dare," he said softly, menacingly, "You dare bring back shark for us to eat… and expect me to be pleased?"
Deidara, shocked, nearly dropped his shark. "But…" he stammered, "I thought you liked eating shark!"
Kisame narrowed his eyes, hand moving slowly towards his sword, the bandages on it shifting.
"He's a new member of the Akatsuki, and doesn't know a thing," Sasori said quietly, eyebrows lifting. "Why, no one even told him where to get food for us!"
Deidara looked gratefully at Sasori, even more grateful that this sand nin was to be his partner, not…. Itachi. To the other man, he glowered. Itachi had messed him up on purpose, no doubt.
Kisame calmed down a bit, and listened to Sasori's quiet voice persuading him not to get too angered by Deidara. Then hard bread and yellow cheese was brought out, and they sat down to a plain, nearly tasteless meal.
Itachi was seated next to Deidara, now and then making remarks about how it was Deidara's fault that they now had to eat such a bland dinner. Then he spoke, whispering in Deidara's ear again.
"Now you compliment the origami designs and puppets you see lying around, saying that they are true art. If you really want to win their favor, that is. Seeing that you screwed it up the first time—I did tell you not to catch shark, didn't I?"
Caught up in anger towards Itachi, Deidara looked daggers at him. "You, you made me anger Kisame on purpose!"
Determined not to do a thing Itachi bid him to, thinking—no, knowing that what would win him favor was the exact opposite, he raised his voice.
"My, those weird paper designs are ugly! And the puppets over there, what kind of art is that?" Deidara went on, criticizing the origami and puppets. Now Sasori himself stiffened, the puppets leaning against the wall twitching slightly. Deidara, catching Sasori's eyes, saw coldness, pure iciness, making him shiver. Konan was giving him a dirty look now, too.
"You dare…" one or the other of them said, "You dare to criticize my artwork"
And so no one was left to speak up for young Deidara… and, well, he learned his lesson—he would never trust… or distrust Itachi.
No, he had to not trust Itachi! But where had that gotten him? Two people glaring at him. But trusting Itachi sounded even worse, although only Kisame had gotten mad at him, and Sasori had defended Deidara.
Well, Deidara debated with himself what to do about Itachi for the rest of his days. Forever humiliated, and would be forever humiliated by Uchiha Itachi.