A/N Hey, guys! This fic is in response to a request from JauntyChick, who wanted a non-angsty Nick story. Well, this is the best I could come up with in a few days, so I hope you all enjoy it! Review please! [Note - This story was reuploaded on May 23rd 2010 due to page break errors]

How the hell had it come to this? One minute he was hitting on the red-head at reception, and the next he was being signed up for a very public humiliation.

Nick walked down the halls of CSI headquarters towards the locker room, glad to be going home at last, and even more glad that he had tomorrow night off. He saw the swing-shift receptionist glance up from her computer as he walked past, and he decided now was as good a time as any to check his messages and check her out a little at the same time.

"Mornin', Joanna."

"Good morning, Nick. Here are your messages." She tossed her long hair over her shoulders and smiled as she handed him a stack of Post-It notes.

"Thanks. How's life treating you?"

"I could use a vacation. How about you."

"A vacation would be good. But I'd settle for a drink with you." He leaned down on her desk so he could get a little closer to her. "You busy tomorrow night?"

He saw her smile fade. "Actually I am. It's the lab's charity dinner tonight, remember?"

"Oh yeah."

"I'm surprised that you're not going."

"Er... Well I really wanted to," he lied, "but there were no tickets left. Guess I was too late."

"Really? Then today's your lucky day, Stokes, because my date can't make it."

"Your boyfriend?"

"My mother."

"Ah. Well how about I do you a favour and accompany you." He smiled as she laughed at his logic. "And then take you out for dinner."

"I thought you only wanted a drink."

"That's not all I want, Joanna." He was trying to gauge her reaction to him being so forward, but was distracted by the sharp finger poking his shoulder. He whipped round to see Catherine standing behind him, clutching a clipboard in one hand and mug of coffee in the other.

"I'm surprised you didn't run out of here as soon as shift ended, Nick."

"I had a few things I had to do first," he said as he glanced over at Joanna, who had gone back to her computer. "What's up?"

"Just wondering if I'll be seeing you tomorrow night. I'm on call, bummer, but it should be good fun."

"Yeah, I'll be there."

"Excellent! I'm organizing it, so do you think you could do me a favour?"

"Sure, shoot."

"I need some... volunteers. And so far I've got only Greg and Hodges."

"Volunteers for what?" He had a right to be suspicious – the last time Catherine organized anything, the lab Christmas party, Ecklie ended up with less hair than he had started with. Nick wasn't vain, but he drew the line at having his hair messed with.

"Just to help people get into the party atmosphere. We want them parting with as much cash as possible."

"Yeah, OK. But as soon as my date starts looking bored, you're on your own."

"Deal."

"I just need you to put your name on this list so I know who I need to chase." She handed him the clipboard and waited patiently, sipping her coffee, while he printed his name on the sheet and gave it back to her. "Awesome. Thanks, Nicky."

As she went on her way towards the break room to round up more unsuspecting employees, Nick turned back to Joanna. "So what time shall I pick you up?"

"Cath will probably want you there nice and early, so how about I just meet you there?"

"Sounds great. See you later." He winked at her and gave her that knee-weakening smile, then carried on towards the locker room before heading home for some well-earned relaxation.

Walking into the private conference room of the Bellagio hotel, Nick was pleasantly surprised at what he saw – Catherine had done a great job dolling the place up. The almost cavernous space was already decorated tastefully (if retro was your style), with heavy red drapes and gold tablecloths, but she had strung fairy lights all around the room that cast a warm glow over everything. The DJ was setting up in the corner, and there was a central uncarpeted part of the floor that had been set up specifically for dancing on – Nick made a mental note to stay away from it after a rather embarrassing, albeit drunken, dance battle between him and Hodges on New Years Eve.

He finally spotted the woman responsible for putting everything together, trying to untangle an extension cord at the back of the room. "Nick!" she called out when she eventually noticed him. "Just the man I need. Could you move those chairs over there? We won't need them."

"Sure – where to?"

"Just leave them outside the door and the janitor will come and take them."

He slipped off his jacket and did as she as she asked, taking three chairs at a time and carrying them out of the room. When he was done he came back in to see what else needed doing. She sent him over to assist the group of servers who were setting up the buffet table, but not before adding: "And don't hit on them."

"Hey, Cath, my date's here. You won't need me for anything else, will you?" He silently pleaded with her using his eyes; now that Joanna had finally arrived, he hoped their wouldn't be any more distractions. He was glad to help Catherine out as she seemed to have done most of the planning by herself, but he was having a hard time keeping the day shift guys away from the bar like she had asked, not wanting to run out of booze before the party even started.

"Um... Maybe later? Have a good time."

He took Joanna by the hand and led her away from the doorway and towards one of the many tables that he had been helping to set up and dress a little while earlier. "You look incredible," he said, looking her up and down, taking in her knee-length blue dress.

"Thanks. You scrub up pretty well yourself."

Catherine walked up to the stage, hitching up her long bronze dress as she tried to manoeuvre the steps in her high heels, and signalled to the DJ to cut the music. He did so, and the few eager couples on the dance floor looked a little disappointed. All heads in the room swivelled to look in her direction.

"Check, check..." she said, tapping the microphone and grimacing at the feedback that came out of the speakers. "Hi, everyone. For those of you who don't know me, and that's probably not many of you, my name's Catherine and I'm one of the brains behind tonight. Before I hand over to Conrad Ecklie, your master of ceremonies for this evening, I just have a few things I'd like to say. Firstly, thank you so much for coming. We're here to raise money for three charities tonight – Las Vegas Society for the Homeless, the American Cancer Research Fund, and an as-yet undecided children's charity. These are, as I'm sure you'll agree, incredibly worthy causes, so lets try to raise as much money as we can. We have plenty of fun organized for you guys tonight. As well as the buffet dinner, there will be a cash bar, a 'Soak the Supervisor' contest, a Crime Lab Quiz, and a Bachelor Auction..."

"Bachelor Auction?" Nick thought, immediately worried about what Catherine had really meant when she asked him to help people get into the party spirit.

"...I'd also like to thank our DJ for this evening, Rick Santiago, and if you'd like to request a song you will be asked for a two dollar donation that will go to the charities. So without further ado, ladies and gentlemen, mister Conrad Ecklie." She handed over the microphone as he stepped out onto the stage from where he had been waiting in the wings. He straightened his tie and smiled into the crowd, many of whom turned to their colleagues and rolled their eyes in anticipation of the lame speech he was probably about to make.

"Good evening, everyone. I'd just like to say thank you so much for coming, and..."

As Catherine came back down from the stage, Nick took her by the arm and pulled her to one side. "I wondered why you were being so secretive whenever we asked you what you had planned for tonight. How did you ever get Grissom to agree to being hit in the face with a wet sponge?"

"I knew he wouldn't be here for Ecklie's speech since he can't bear to listen to the man talk, so he won't know about it until I'm strapping him into the stocks. I can't wait!"

"And I hope you don't think I'll be taking part in the Bachelor Auction. 'Cause if you do, you're outta luck."

"But Nicky," she said with a sweet smile, "You signed up for it."

"What? No I didn't!"

"You did. A word of advice, Nick. Always read what you sign." She pointed over to the door, with the list of 'volunteers' pinned on it – only now it was a list under a heading which read 'It's not too late to sign up for our Bachelor Auction!'.

"You tricked me!"

"I didn't! You volunteered. Besides, no one else wanted to do it." Her voice took on a pleading tone as she gripped his arm a little harder.

"Well I'm not doing it! No way!"

"Come on, Nick, it's for charity! And I bet Joanna will bid on you..."

"Yeah, well she better had, because I'm not going home with Jackie. She's had her eye on me all night."

Nick began to feel his pulse quicken and his breathing grow shallow as he stood behind the heavy red curtain, feeling slightly claustrophobic as he and eleven other men were crammed into the small backstage space with nothing to do but stuff their hands in their pockets and wait for a torturous five minutes, while Catherine introduced the event and gave the very eager women in the audience the rules by which they had to abide, lest they wouldn't receive the man that they had bid their hard-earned money on. He heard Hodges mutter something about 'this whole scenario' being absurd, barely hiding the excitement in his voice at the prospect of a woman actually taking an interest in him. Nick was never normally one to shy away from attention from women, but this wasn't exactly a normal situation for him. These women were rabid, already whooping and yelling before any men had even taken to the stage, and more than a few of them were quite drunk as well. "Hey, Hodges, what do we have to do once they've bid on us?" Nick asked, hoping there would be no hotel rooms reservations involved. He couldn't help but feel a little dirty as he thought about how similar bidding on a man and prostitution were...

"They take us on a date. From what I hear, they pay for the meal or whatever, too. I'm only here for a free meal."

Nick jumped a little as he heard Catherine shout into the microphone: "Let the bidding begin!". She started with Bobby Dawson, who was won by his slightly aggressive-looking date, who gave dirty glances to any woman who so much as looked like she was going to bid on her man. After announcing a few more men that Nick wasn't really acquainted with, he heard a familiar name and the man that it belonged to began to look quite scared.

"OK, next up: He's our trendy Trekkie who'd enjoy nothing more than getting together with you and taking some provocative snapshots... That's right, it's the night-shift AV tech – Archie!" Catherine gestured towards the left of the stage with a kind of vigour that would be envied by even the most seasoned game show host, and a little reluctantly Archie appeared from behind the curtain. The bidding started off tentatively, but after a few women began waving their chequebooks in the air, more followed suit. He was eventually escorted from the stage by Susy, a day-shift lab assistant with a penchant for Dungeons and Dragons.

"Our next Bachelor's many interests include surfing, rock shows, vintage board games, and on occasion he can be 'persuaded' to partake in a little bondage... It's CSI level three, Greg Sanders!" The man himself swaggered onto the stage, took the microphone from Catherine, and slurred: "Don't all shout at once, ladies, there's enough Greggo to go around!" That statement seemed to put off a few of the women, but after a pity-bid from Joanna, a few more women bid on him. After a short back-and-forth between Jackie and Mandy, the latter woman won and went up to the stage to collect him, making sure he didn't fall down the stage after having watched him knock back a fair amount of alcohol.

"Well, ladies... Or gentlemen, depending on your preference... I hope you've put some money aside to bid on our next Bachelor. He describes his perfect woman as someone happy, with a wicked sense of humour and a well-turned ankle. He also said, under duress I might add, that the old saying is true – everything is bigger in Texas... It's graveyard's very own Nick Stokes! Let's start the bidding at ten dollars."

Nick froze behind the curtain, momentarily unable to move – being publicly humiliated was not the way he wanted to spend his night off. However, he stumbled out onto the stage thanks to a hard shove by Henry. A few women cat-called as he straightened himself up, and many more shouted out bids (plus a few requests to remove some of his clothing)..

"Ten dollars!" Joanna started off the bidding, like he hoped she would, but she was very quickly outbid.

"Twenty!"

"Fifty!" Jackie shouted, seeming to have brought her live-savings along with her.

"Fifty two dollars!"

He looked from the last woman who bid, a cop named Miranda, to Joanna, who was shaking her head and looking up at him apologetically as the amount got closer to a hundred dollars.

"Why isn't she bidding?" Nick thought, beginning to panic that he really was going to end up going home with Jackie.

"I don't have enough money, Nick!" Joanna yelled up to him as he stood on the stage, blinking as the spotlight hit him. A cheer erupted from a group of women in the corner as they heard what his date said over the commotion, and they each clamoured to be the next to bid. He would have been willing to pay for himself it it meant he wouldn't have to stand up there any longer, being mentally undressed by almost every female in the room.

"One hundred and three dollars and seventy two cents!"

"One hundred and twenty!" It was Jackie again, who had now pushed herself to the front of the crowd that had gathered in front of the stage. "Catherine, I'm determined to take him with me!"

The blonde laughed at the distraught look on her team member's face and began trying to quieten the women down. "OK, ladies. I know we want to make as much money as we can, but we don't want to be here all night. Going once..." Some of the hopeful bidders groaned, realising that they didn't have enough spare cash to spend on the hunky CSI.

"Going twice... Sold! To that very lucky women, Jackie Franco!"

She trotted up the steps and onto the stage to a round of applause, and Nick pecked her on the cheek as she reached him. Taking his hand, she pulled him back down again and onto the dance floor. "Go easy on me, Jackie," he said, not entirely sure what she had in store for him.

"Relax, Stokes. I'm married, so nothing risqué is going to happen. It would just be nice to be taken out by a gentleman for a change."

"Oh. Well ma'am," he replied, turning on the Southern charm, "Let me buy you a drink."