WARNINGS: M/M, Non-con/rape, (possible) Character Death.

A/N: Ok, so this is less of a Christmas fic, and more of an anti-Christmas fic. The warnings are strong, however, 'M' being the highest rating, I did have to keep this non-explicit. Hopefully I've done that, but I'm not always aware of where to draw the line. This has been checked and rechecked by me, and double/triple checked by others. It should hopefully be within the 'M' rating. Oh and Reid's a bit of a tart, if you're expecting a cannon-like Reid, you won't be pleased.
Enjoy it as much as you can… though it's really a hard piece to enjoy.

Disclaimer: I do not own the Criminal Minds characters, and I do not make a profit. I do not wish to be sued; a polite request to remove this is all that would be needed. Heck… I don't even own the original character used in this fic, said character belongs to PanicButton. She has kindly allowed me to borrow him for Christmas, and I feel very honoured. And that's me, and only me! So don't even bother asking! -Prances-

Non-dedication: I'd like to dedicate this to the writers… but I don't think they'd appreciate it. It's the thought that counts right?

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A Calamitous Canadian Christmas

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Chapter 1: Tickets To Nowhere.

A crisp burst of air swept through the entrance of the FBI building in Quantico, Virginia as the door swung open. Spencer Reid rushed inside and tried to push the door closed behind him, sealing out the cold air. It wasn't very often the temperature in this area dropped below freezing, but today was one of those days. The unexpected snow storm that was raging outside had caused his lunch break to last a half hour longer than planned, and snow seemed to be sticking to every part of his clothing and hair as he shuffled over to the elevator.

He pressed the button and waited for the small -ping- to let him know the doors were about to open while he bushed as much of the snow off as he could see. This was proving difficult due to the warm temperature of the building fogging up the lenses on his glasses. He sighed, taking them off and stepping into the elevator. He pressed the appropriate button and tried to clear the lenses with the sleeve of his sweater; it only smeared. Another sigh as he waited, semi-blind, for the doors to open again and let him out.

At least it was a Friday, and the Friday before Christmas on top of that. The last day of work before the team was given a break, and then it was just 4 more sleeps until Christmas morn. Reid smiled, it was going to be a different Christmas this year, and he was glad. For once he wasn't visiting his mum and, although he felt a slight twinge of guilt, he knew that for at least one year he needed to do something for himself. Visiting his mum wouldn't be a happy occasion, and he wanted to be happy, he needed to be happy and loved. So this year he'd planned a quiet and cozy retreat to in confines of his living room, with his sparse tree and small handful of gifts. It would just be him and one special guest, his mystery date.

Ok, so it wasn't so much a mystery to him anymore, but that's how it had started. A note delivered to his door, 'Meet me for coffee tomorrow, the staNd arouNd the corNer, 6:00am, F.' Reid had been worried at first but he shoved the fears aside and met the mystery messenger. They'd been seeing each other ever since unbeknownst to the rest of his team, and he wanted to keep it that way.

The elevator doors opened and he shuffled across the hall, hoping he wasn't missing anything important. He stopped in the doorway and took in the sight of the rest of his team, it was clear no work was getting done here. Morgan had somehow gotten hold of a Santa suit and was offering every woman who walked by a chance to sit on his lap. JJ was smiling and laughing, a Santa hat on her head, as she spoke to some other agents, and Prentiss, also wearing a hat, was attempting to corral all the other women in the office away from Morgan. Reid shook his head and sighed with a shiver, rubbing his hand together and breathing on them.

"Coco?" a voice from behind him, very close to his ear,

Reid jumped and turned around to see a smiling Aaron Hotchner with a steaming mug in his hand, "W-what? Sorry."

"Coco?" Hotch asked again, "You look like you need this more than I do. I'll go make myself another." He handed the mug over to Reid.

Reid smiled, "Thank you." He took the mug, brushing Hotch's hand with his. He was sure a blush crept into his cheeks but he knew they were rosy from the cold, and Aaron didn't seem to have noticed. Reid wrapped his hands around the hot container, it was almost painful but that didn't last long and then they were at least semi-warm. He blew on the liquid inside as he walked through the myriad of people to his desk, and then took small sips, careful not to burn his tongue.

He heard JJ call out from across the room, "Hey Spence! A letter came for you, I put it in your in-box."

"Thanks, JJ." he called back, setting the mug down, and then sitting into his chair, dropping his messenger bag beside him. He pulled out the contents of his in-box, two files and an envelope. He looked at the return address and smiled. There was no personal name, only a business name, Delphian Dolls & Démodés, but he knew who it was from. He tore open the envelope with excited fingers, and looked inside. There were a few different items so he located what looked like the letter, and pulled it out. He scanned it once through quickly, locking it away inside his mind, and then again slowly, savouring each pen stroke.

SpeNce,

I kNow you waNted a quiet holiday, just us, but I have a surprise for you. Thought we'd take a trip together. I have a little place I always go to for the seasoN, aNd I'd like you to come with me. I'll pick you up toNight, make sure you pack and dress warm, aNd have your passport with you. We'll be goNe a week.

Yours,
F.

Reid looked at the cursive 'F' and studied every detail that was put into it. When he was done with that he lifted the paper to his nose and inhaled the scent along the edge. He was nervous about leaving with someone he'd only known a few months, and it didn't seem as if he was being given a choice; this ritual calmed him. His eyes were closed as he smiled into the paper, and therefore it was impossible for him to anticipate the hand that snatched the letter from his grasp. He spun and stood in one fluid motion to face Morgan. "Give it back!"

Morgan chuckled, still sporting his Santa suit, and held it out of reach, looking at it above his head, "Spence, huh? This from JJ?" He looked back to Reid.

"I said give it back Morgan, I have work to do!" He made a grab for the letter and Morgan dodged it.

"This doesn't look like work." He started scanning the letter.

"Trust me, it's more work than you'll ever know. Now give it back!" Reid made another snatch for it, but was again unsuccessful.

"Or what, Genius? What are you gonna do?" He looked back at the letter, "F? Who's F? Farah? Faith? Fay? Come on, help me out here, I can't think of many female 'F' names."

"It's none of your business who it is." he growled. He wasn't sure what would be a sufficient threat until Morgan started making a face at him. Then it came to him, and he smirked and stopped trying to fight Morgan for the letter. "Give it to me, Morgan, or I'll… I'll… kiss you."

Morgan paused, raised a brow, and chuckled, "Right, Kid, I believe you." He continued to hold the letter out of reach as Reid took a step towards him. "Try something else, I'll actually believe."

Reid took another step towards Morgan, who matched him step for step, towards the wall. "I'm not kidding. This is your last chance Morgan."

Morgan stepped up against the wall, but was still grinning as Reid came closer. "You wouldn't." He said, though wasn't sounding as confident as a few moments before.

"Try me." Reid replied, closing the distance until they were face to face. Reid reached for the letter again, but was still a little out of range so he clasped Morgan's wrist in his hand.

Morgan was speechless by this point, never having thought it would go even this far. He was completely unprepared when Reid's lips met his. He stood stunned for a full second before he roughly tore his wrist free and pushed Reid back, "What the HELL do you think you're doing, Reid?"

Reid stumbled backwards just as a crash sounded behind him. It was almost muffled by Morgan's yell, but it was enough to catch everyone's attention. Hotch stood near the counter with the coffee and coco, a puddle of hot liquid at his feet and a shattered mug. "Sorry, I slipped." It was a lame excuse but one by one people started going back to their own conversations.

Morgan was glaring at Reid, and Reid smirked back, "I told you so. Now give me the letter."

It was thrown at him and Reid caught it while it floated towards the ground. Morgan shook his head, "That was too much, Reid. Too much." He turned on his heel and stalked away.

Reid returned to his desk satisfied, he could hear Hotch cleaning up the mess he'd made and Reid wondered if he'd seen what had happened. No one else seemed to have been paying attention, or at least no one was mentioning anything so that was good. He tucked the letter back in the envelope and pulled out a pamphlet, Banff Luxury Condo was written across the top. He opened it and his jaw dropped at the pictures, this couldn't be possible. This was where they were staying? A penthouse suite in Banff, Alberta. He flipped to the pricing guide, it was in Canadian dollars, and listed at a per month rate. He found December's and his jaw dropped further, $14,000/month with a minimum 7 night stay. It was the most expensive time of year, judging by the other listed prices.

He put it back in the envelope and pulled out the final items; two first class tickets to Calgary International Airport. Departure time, 11:56 tonight. Reid thought he was going to pass out and he slid them back inside, and took a few deep breaths. This couldn't be happening. What appeared to be a dream vacation, being practically handed to him, what would he have to give in return?

He pushed the thoughts aside, slipping the letter into his bag, and turned to the files. He needed to deal with these quickly and then wish everyone a wonderful holiday, and go home to pack. The excitement coursed through him as he thought of the possibilities, and the worry was being shoved aside. There would be plenty of time to worry once it was already too late to back out, for now he just wanted to enjoy having the opportunity.