Okay, here's a little something for Christmas, for all of those of you who want something to read over the holidays...though this might give you nightmares once you're done, I'm warning you, hehe. This is what is called a Round Robin story, where one person starts it, another continues it, followed by another, and so on. This story was written by a number of different people, as is probably self-evident, heh. I do Round Robin games every so often, and I was trying to figure out how to incorporate some of them, as well as write something for Christmas...so, here you go! Enjoy, and be disturbed.

Disclaimer: I don't own Fullmetal Alchemist, and after this fic, I probably don't want to take credit for it anyway, hehe.

Twas the night before Christmas,
The streets covered with snow,
When here came Santa Claus,
His main elf in tow.
They sauntered along,
Over his shoulder slung a bag,
He "ho hoed" and "ha haed"
Causing the elf's face to drag.

The elf groaned and snapped angrily, "WILL YOU STOP WITH THE RHYMING ALREADY?! Just focus on keeping the sleigh steady!" The elf then groaned again, realising what he just said. "Now you've got ME rhyming!"

In response to the elf's little outburst, Santa Claus himself had to come up with one of his own, which consisted mainly of, "HO HO HOOOOOOOOO!!!! That's the Christmas spirit! Why, I remember a Christmas a long time ago in which my father went and gave all the families in his neighborhood..."

"I've heard that one already," interrupted the elf.

"Well, then have I ever told you about the time when my grandfather went and...?"

"Heard it," said the elf.

"What about the time...?"

"HEARD IT!" said the elf emphatically.

"Okay, so you've heard it," said Santa Claus.

The elf sighed and pointed ahead of them. "Look, here's the last stop we have to make. But please, PLEASE make sure to not to land too hard or HO HO HOOO so loud that you wake up the residents like last time."

Santa blinked in surprise and looked squarely at his elf. "I was just trying to spread some Christmas cheer to that household. How was I supposed to know that it belonged to a grumpy old lawyer who possessed a rifle which he kept beside his bed at all times?"

The elf slapped his face and slowly worked his hand back down to the reigns on the sleigh. "Honestly, how did you ever get to be Santa if you don't know things like that? And how did I ever get talked into working with you?"

"Well," began Santa, "The head elf told you to come work with me, because he said that an amazing elf such as yourself would be a most excellent partner for helping Santa deliver all the gifts. Also that he would make sure you drank milk for a week if you didn't accept the job."

"The jerk," said the elf, whose identity had not been revealed outright, but whom everyone was quite aware by now of his identity regardless, "How did he ever get to be the head elf anyway? It's not fair, I don't want to play an elf!"

Santa shrugged nonchalantly and continued looking forward as he said, "He threatened to melt the North Pole if he wasn't made the head elf, so we let him."

The elf, er, Ed, since we might as well use his name since everyone knows exactly who he is, glared some more at nothing in particular and his grip tightened on the reigns as though about to strangle them to death. "Why the heck do we even care about the North Pole? No one even lives there! You don't honestly think you're really Santa Claus, do you?"

"Of course I am! At least, for now." Ed simply sighed and shook his head. "Where has all your Christmas spirit gone?" asked Santa.

"What are you talking about? I never had Christmas spirit to begin with!" Ed yelled.

"Shh! If you're not quiet you'll wake up everyone in the neighborhood!" said Santa.

"As if you should be telling me this." Ed said.

Finally, the two stopped the sleigh in front of the house that they were supposed to make a delivery to. Ed couldn't help but wish that just for this one night, that they actually did have Santa's sleigh so that they could fly away without getting caught, since he hated to have people see him in this stupid outfit, but such a thing was not to be. Santa still enjoyed very much the prospect of breaking into people's houses, but seeing as how chimneys were usually far too narrow to do so safely, he generally employed the window method, or when all else failed, he would use his special alchemy technique that had been passed down through his family for generations. Yes, this was bound to be a terrifyingly long night.

"Remember, quietly!" Ed whispered. "What was that?" Santa asked. "Quietly!" Ed whispered louder.

"I still can't here you. Speak up!"

"Go in quietly!!"

"What?"

Ed sighed, irritated, then said, or rather, yelled, "GO IN QUIETLY!"

The two stiffened as they heard the sound of dogs barking, and a light flickered on in the house. "Hide!" Ed said.

Santa blinked stupidly and stared at Ed as the elf tried to scramble down from the sleigh, which wasn't the wisest maneuver, seeing as how the dogs were on the ground and really couldn't get up into the sleigh, but go figure as to the way elves think. "Hide from what?" said Santa.

"The Fuhrer!" said Ed, a little louder than he probably should have, considering how he was trying to hide, but not doing a very good job at it, "The Fuhrer's going to kill us for breaking and entering. We're dead, we are so dead!"

"But...haven't we been paid to do this?" reminded Santa.

"Oh...yeah," said Ed, stopping in his tracks to think on that concept. Unfortunately, stopping in place like that made him an ample target for the dogs, who were quite happy add to their life experiences that of mauling an elf.

Roy Mustang was walking down the streets in the cold, frigid air. He could see his breath in front of him as he would exhale, and the sight just made him feel even colder. If only there was something to distract him from this chill. Of course, as fate would have it, it answered his wish. Just then, he heard footsteps behind him, and soon a small body leapt up onto his back, saying in an annoyingly cheerful voice for a day like this, "Hey Roy! What's up?"

Roy reached a hand up to grab one of this person's wrists and pull them off of him. What he discovered surprised him. "An...elf?" "Yep Yep!! I've come from the south pole to try and grant the wishes of people here!!"

"A wish granting elf? Never heard of anything like that before." he stated, calmly.

The elf only laughed at him, and said, "Well...you get to have a wish so choose something!"

"Hmmmm..." Roy said as he rubbed his chin in thought, "What's the catch?"

The elf paused for a minute, like it had to think too, since it was obvious that it hadn't had much practice. "Um...you gotta give me a kiss?" At seeing Roy's disgusted look upon this remark, the elf waved his hands frantically and said, "Just kidding, just kidding! There's no catch. I'm just a happy, friendly, idiotic elf that grants wishes for no logical reason and doesn't even realize that he's getting the raw end of the deal in doing so."

Roy stared at the creature in perplexity for a moment, and then said, "If you really don't know all that...then why did you just say it?"

"WILL YOU WISH ALREADY!!!" shouted the elf, getting quite impatient. That was an experience Roy didn't care to repeat. Never tick off an elf.

After Roy got over his mild shock, he thought for a brief moment more, then said. "All right. I'm ready."

"Well then, go ahead and say it!" exclaimed the impatient elf.

"Okay, okay. I wish to be Fuehrer!" he said. The elf smiled and for a moment, the world spun. When everything was still again, Roy looked around, confused. "What just happened?"

"Your wish has benn granted." the elf laughed, and then, it disappeared.

Roy looked around dazedly at his surroundings. Did he really get his wish? Was he really Fuhrer? There was only one way to find out. He walked along the cold street until he found himself back at the military headquarters. He had to find her. "Lieutenant Hawkeye!" he called, but didn't receive an immediate response. Well, duh...she's not likely to be waiting just inside the door for you, Roy. He made some inquiries around and found her location, so he marched right to the room where she was and slammed the door open in mock rage. "Lieutenant Hawkeye!" he demanded, "Why aren't you in uniform?"

"Sir?" she asked, confused. "Where is your miniskirt?"

"My what?" he asked, confused.

"Your miniskirt," Riza repeated. Roy thought for a moment. Did he hear that right? The word rang in his head a couple of times before he realized he heard right. Miniskirt? MINISKIRT? He had to control himself from shouting out with happiness. He really did hear miniskirt! Riza gave him a weird look as she watched him grinning and mumbling to himself for no reason.

"Sir? Are you all right?"

"Yes!" he shouted. "Yes yes yes yes yes!!!"

Roy dancing around the room. Riza was shocked and feeling slightly tramatized. "Uh... sir?" She asked, but Roy was just way too busy dancing to care.

Riza stood and stared at her commanding officer for a moment. She didn't know he could dance like that! Before she could ponder it any longer, however, she could hear some bickering just down the hall.

"Al, I promise, just one punch-"

"Brother, we've been over this. You can't beat him to a pulp and you know it."

"B-but, Al-"

"No! Just because you were stupid enough to let those dogs get you isn't reason enough to beat up the Colonel over it."

"You're no fun." Edward grumbled under his breath as he reached for the door handle. He opened it and began walking through the door. Ed gave one glance in Mustang's direction, stared a second, and sat down. Roy continued to get his groove on as Al came in. The teen stared in what seemed to be a mix of trauma and confusion. He sat down next to his brother, giving Riza a glance. She grimaced and shrugged back at them.

"Brohter, is it just me or…"

"Al," Edward said quite frankly, "Mustang has always been this way, you know that."

Al stared a slight bit longer at his older brother before turning his head to look at the Colonel. "Yeah, right..."

The Colonel shook his rear, making Ed twitch and shiver in horror. "However, that's a new one." He muttered as Al shielded his face.

Lieutenant Hawkeye pulled her gun out of its holster and clicked off the safety, aiming it ready and loaded for Mustang's head. "Colonel, sit down." She ordered, but he didn't stop. Sadly, he didn't stop and just proceeded, grinning and singing and dancing. Prancing about happily.

Riza stared a bit longer before giving up and sighing, dropping her hand to her sides, then putting the safety back on and shifting to put the gun away.

Another bizarre bottom wagging movement from the Colonel changed Hawkeye's mind at the last moment. In one smooth motion, her hand came up, the safety snapped off, and she fired.

Roy stopped short, snapping to attention as if he were the subordinate and not the other way around. A single button from his uniform hit the floor in the reigning quiet that followed the shot. So silent was the room that the occupants could hear all three pieces of the button hit individually as the button bounced and split apart. Roy opened his mouth to speak.

"R-Riza..." he said, still in a state of shock.

"Where is your miniskirt?" she repeated her question from before Roy started dancing. Ed and Al's jaws dropped to the floor. Roy looked more shocked than before.

"W-what are you talking about? I have to...?" Riza only nodded, and Ed burst out laughing while pointing at Roy. Roy turned to glare at him and saw Alphonse looked shocked. Not only that, but he was trying not to laugh himself.

Roy stood erect, embarrassment flushing over him and running off in a ripple effect to everyone else in the room. Him? Miniskirt? "N-No, I thought that-"

"You know the rules," interrupted Riza, "All male personnel in the military must wear miniskirts."

Roy's jaw dropped and he felt like he was melting into the floor. Something had gone wrong with that wish, very wrong. How he wished he could just melt into the floor for real...wait a minute, he WAS melting into the floor for real! "Help!" he cried out, reaching out his hands in every which direction to try and grab something, "I'm melting, I'm melting!"

Everyone stared at the seemingly melting Mustang. Ed looked at Roy then at Riza and then he looked at Al. "Why does this remind me of the Wizard of Oz?" He asked.

Al shrugged his shoulders. "I don't know brother. Truthfully, I don't recall ever seeing the film, but..." He trailed off as Riza seemed to stare at Mustang with confusion written all over her face.

"Sir...uh...sir?" She started before the door opened again.

"Hey, chie---waaaah!? Hawkeye, what the heck is going on?!" A dirty blond man with a cigarette hanging from his lip shouted in shock. Second Lieutenant Jean Havoc had just entered!

Ed gave Havoc a snort of acknowledgement. "I've been waiting all day for this." He got up and marched over to his distressed superior. "Knock it off stupid Colonel!" He hauled back a fist and aimed it at the melting Mustang's face.

"Blub!" said Roy in response, no one quite sure whether that was a cry of alarm, pain, or even a statement that he had enjoyed getting punched in the face. Regardless, he continued the melting process as though he had been completely undisturbed, and soon was nothing more than a puddle spread all over the carpet.

Anyone curious as to who the stupid idiots were that wrote all this? If I can remember correctly, those stupid idiots' FF names were: agent000(yes, me), DEMONICfang, SakuraSagura, Ishte, AutoMailAlchemist, and The Demonic Winged Wolf. If I can find a way to incorporate the other Round Robin that I did recently, then I'll have to include the names of Ayumi Elric and StormxKira, but I can't include them yet until I post that particular story, hehe.

Anyway, feel free to leave some reviews if you want the madness to continue. As it is, I'm honestly not sure of the response, heh, but I'd love to see what it is and if it's worth continuing to do. Also, if any of you want to help(?) create more scenes for this stupid Round Robin story, let me know, and I can see if we can schedule a time for us to chat online to create it, heh.

Hope to hear from you all soon!