Title: Baby of Mine
Summary: This was where everyone else in Emma Swan's life had gotten it wrong. Everyone else had left her to deal with her heartbreak by herself. But not now and not Snow; she refused to be one more person in Emma Swan's life who abandoned her.
Spoilers: Up through 5x11, "Swan Song."
Characters: Mama Snow and Emma Swan, with a cameo by Daddy Charming.
Rating/Warning: K. Angst and comfort, ahoy!
Disclaimer: Once Upon a Time and its characters were created by Eddie Kitsis and Adam Horowitz and are owned by ABC. I'm just playing in someone else's sandbox.
Author's Note: I've had this little plotbunny in my head since hiatus started and only just now managed to get it out on (digital) paper. For reasons unclear to me, I'm not thrilled with it but I'm hoping that's just me being my own worst critic. :) Feedback makes my little day! Enjoy. :)
Snow White had wanted her daughter back more than anything in this world or the next but she'd never dreamed that getting her back would come at such a terrible, terrible cost.
As she held her sobbing daughter and murmured soft comforts into her ear, she wished more than anything that she could take all of Emma's pain away. That she could keep Emma from feeling any of this. That she could rewind time and find another solution that didn't involve Hook's sacrifice at all, never mind at her baby girl's hand.
That she could somehow prevent Emma's shattered heart.
For a long moment, Snow and Charming just held their baby girl while she cried. Her entire body shook with sobs. Snow felt her own heart breaking both for her daughter and for the man who'd given his life to save them all.
Snow felt more than saw poor Emma's gaze gravitate to the patch of grass where Hook had fallen, the dark pool of his blood a stark reminder of his sacrifice. She exchanged a glance with Charming and he nodded in response: they needed to move her.
"Come on, baby," Snow murmured to her still sobbing daughter. "Let's go home."
It took another minute or so for them to coax Emma into walking away from the banks of the pond. As they turned away, Snow caught Regina's eye. The two mothers conducted a silent conversation and reached the same conclusion: Regina and Robin would take care of Henry for the night while Snow and Charming took care of Emma.
Henry – sweet, loving Henry – protested. "I want to stay with her," he insisted through his own tears. Emma, too, struggled against her parents' grip at Henry's voice, a silent protest at being separated from her son.
Regina was the one who calmed both of them. "Emma needs rest, Henry, and frankly, so do you. This is just for tonight. Maybe we can all meet for breakfast tomorrow morning at Granny's," she said, once again glancing at Snow.
"That sounds like a wonderful idea," Snow agreed even though she highly doubted Emma would be in the mood to go out by breakfast. The plan seemed to soothe them both, though, so Snow let it stand for now. They could revisit it in the morning if need be.
After making a quick pit stop to pick up baby Neal from Granny's, mother and father took their baby girl not to the house she was supposed to share with Hook but back to the little apartment they shared as a family. A still sniffling Emma's shoulders slumped in relief when she realized she wouldn't have to face that house tonight. Tomorrow she could deal with the house or perhaps the day after but she'd been through more than enough tonight. She did not at all have to walk back into that house knowing that the dream she and Hook had shared would never come to pass.
Snow wasn't surprised when Emma refused an offer of food. (Hell, her stomach was probably doing backflips; food was likely the last thing on her mind.) Charming made her a mug of cocoa but she didn't drink it. She simply sat on the couch with the warm mug in her hands and stared down at the brown liquid, her mind miles elsewhere.
When the mug turned cold, Snow gently slipped it from Emma's hands. "All right, sweetie, why don't we get you upstairs and into bed, hmm?" she said, setting the mug down on the end table and holding her hand out for her daughter to grasp.
Emma just nodded and wearily pushed herself to her feet. She did not take Snow's hand, nor had she said a single word since …
Snow heaved a worried sigh. She could practically see Emma's walls shooting right back up again.
That was not going to happen, though, not if Snow had anything to say about it. She was not about to let Emma retreat back behind her walls.
This was where everyone else in Emma Swan's life had gotten it wrong. Everyone else had left her to deal with her heartbreak by herself. But not now and not Snow; she refused to be one more person in Emma Swan's life who abandoned her.
Once upstairs in the little loft bedroom, Snow turned down the covers on Emma's bed while Emma kicked off her boots and shrugged off her jacket. She didn't bother changing into pajamas; she just sank down on the bed in her jeans and sweater. Fighting tears of her own at her poor baby's pain, Snow drew the covers around Emma's shoulders. "I'm just going to get your brother settled," she murmured, tucking a lock of Emma's hair behind her ear, "and then I'll be back up to check on you."
Emma gave another nod as she snuggled deeper under the covers.
Snow bent down and dropped a kiss on her daughter's temple. "I'll be right back, baby."
It was her hope that Emma would be asleep by the time she got back. It was clear that her poor little girl was utterly exhausted. She hadn't slept during those weeks as the Dark One and the events of the past few hours had drained what little energy she'd had in reserve.
Snow knew quite well the exhaustion that mourning caused. She knew quite well the exhaustion and turmoil that guilt caused. And she hated more than anything that her sweet baby girl was going through both of those emotions right now. She'd just had to sacrifice the man she loved! The mere thought of having to sacrifice Charming made Snow's stomach lurch.
Her poor, poor baby.
She crept back downstairs to find that Charming had gotten Neal changed and settled into his crib. "How is she?" he whispered to Snow when he spotted her, both to avoid disturbing Neal and so Emma wouldn't overhear him.
A shake of his wife's head was the only answer he needed. He briefly closed his eyes against his own tears, tears for both Hook and Emma, and then pressed a kiss to Snow's forehead. "I've got him tonight. Go take care of her."
"Thank you," Snow whispered back, giving her wonderful husband as big a smile as she could muster. She said her good nights to her baby boy and then tiptoed back up to the loft to take care of her baby girl.
Since she'd only been gone a few minutes, Snow was surprised to find that Emma had been somewhat active in the time she'd been downstairs. She was now curled up on top of the covers, her back to the room, and she was wearing a black jacket that was too big for her.
What on earth …
And then light dawned. Oh, Emma, Snow thought, tears leaping into her eyes. The jacket was Hook's. He must have left it up here at some point before the Dark One mess had happened and now … now it was all Emma had left of him.
Snow crept over to the bed, not wanting to wake Emma if she'd managed to drop off to sleep.
Her baby must have been able to sense her presence, though, because she mumbled, "I'm still awake."
Those three words were her first since everything had happened. Snow simultaneously felt a sharp sense of relief at hearing her daughter's voice and a deep ache at the weary pain in her tone.
Emma turned onto her other side to face her mother. Her eyes were puffy and rimmed in red and she looked drained. "I don't want to be awake anymore but I'm afraid to sleep."
The admission was so honest and she'd sounded so young and vulnerable that Snow's heart shattered in her chest. Still fighting tears of her own, Snow settled down on the empty side of the bed and grasped her daughter's hand tightly. There again was that sharp relief when Emma squeezed back. "Why are you afraid to sleep?"
She just shrugged. Still, Snow could guess. Weeks as a Dark One culminating in having to take the life of the man she loved was certainly an experience that lent itself well to nightmares.
For a beat, the two of them lay in silence and then in a small, empty voice, Emma asked, "Mom? If I try to sleep, will you stay with me?"
"Of course, sweetheart," Snow replied, giving her daughter a comforting smile. "Close your eyes. I won't leave unless you want me to."
Emma nodded and did as instructed. Snow ran her thumb along the back of her little girl's hand, hoping the soothing motion would help her sleep.
It did indeed help, and true to her word, Snow stayed, even when Emma's grip around her hand finally went lax. After observing her sleeping daughter for a moment, she switched off the bedside lamp, slid her pillows down flat, and closed her own eyes. She would stay all night if that was what her baby needed.
Snow woke to soft whimpering. With her still half-asleep brain assuming it was her baby boy who needed her, she started to climb out of bed. Halfway up, she realized that the cries belonged not to her son but to her other baby.
She snapped on Emma's bedside lamp and sure enough, her poor daughter was squirming under the covers in the midst of a nightmare. "Emma, sweetheart," Snow murmured, giving her daughter's shoulder a gentle shake, "wake up."
The nightmare was stubborn, though – almost as stubborn as Emma herself – and it refused to release its hold on her. Poor Emma whimpered again and the sound tore through Snow's heart. Tears pricked her eyes as she once again tried to shake her daughter awake.
In the end it was the nightmare that woke Emma and not Snow. Her eyes snapped open, her breath coming out in ragged pants. She scrambled upright, her frantic gaze darting around the room as she fought against the remnants of the nightmare.
"It's all right," Snow murmured. She hoped a calm, gentle voice would help coax clarity into her daughter's eyes. "It was just a dream, Emma."
After another beat of frantic drifting, Emma's gaze finally locked on Snow. Clarity came a moment later. Her shoulders slumped in relief as she realized that she'd been dreaming.
"There you are," Snow said with a tender smile. "Are you all right?"
Emma nodded.
"Do you want to talk about it?"
A shake of her head.
The memory of Emma practically catatonic from the darkness overwhelming her in Camelot surfaced, making Snow's stomach turn a somersault. She'd let Hook and Henry take over then but … well, she was sure as hell going to be there for her baby now.
She took Emma's hand and tried to get her to lie back down on the pillows. "No," Emma muttered, struggling against her mother's efforts. "I don't want to go back to sleep."
"You don't have to," Snow assured her, "but you do need to rest."
Though mother knew daughter was too wiped to lie down without falling asleep, Emma herself seemed satisfied with being told she didn't have to sleep if she didn't want to. She stopped struggling and curled up on her side again, burying her nose in Hook's jacket.
Snow's heart clenched in her chest. Her poor sweet baby.
"Please don't leave," Emma murmured, her voice muffled by the thick leather.
"I won't," Snow promised.
Once again, Snow lay down with her, grasping her hand and holding on tight. She didn't speak any words of comfort because there were no words to give. Her baby had just had to sacrifice the love of her life; there was nothing Snow could say to make that better.
So she did the only thing she could. She held her daughter's hand and just was there for her.
They lay in silence for a little while, Emma staring off into the middle distance and Snow keeping a watchful eye on her while continuing to hold her hand. Then Snow's poor baby girl said something that surprised her: "Mom, I'm sorry."
"Oh, baby, there's no need for an apology," Snow said, tightening her hand around her daughter's.
"But–"
"No, Emma. You took on the darkness because you're the savior. And in Camelot, you embraced it because you were trying to save Hook – Killian – in any way you could. If anything, I'm the one who should be sorry. I-I should have tried harder to help you in Camelot. Maybe this wouldn't have happened if we could have figured it all out sooner."
Emma shook her head. "There's no need for you to apologize, either," she sniffled. "I know you did everything you could."
Snow gave her wonderful baby girl a tender smile.
They let the moment lapse into silence. Eventually Emma's eyelids began to flutter closed. She fought it for a little while but the tug of sleep was much too strong for her to resist.
Snow waited until she was sure Emma was out completely before pressing a kiss to her temple. "You'll get through this, sweetheart," she murmured to her, "and we'll be with you every step of the way."