Author's Notes: With the help of our friend Agent Racketeer Dr. Patrick Football Princess Carrot Crotch Guitar, we are making another one-shot on this marvelous site of fan-fictions. This time, however, we are not making a romance story, although we will continue our series of them. Toki-Hime and Rainbow Ramen present you with this spectacular tale called Can I Have Your Number? Please be kind and don't flame.
P.S.S.S. This particular story is actually from a television show. If you guess correctly on what we are referring to, which in other words means the name of the show, Crescendolls will write a story dedicated to any topic of your choice, except lemons, yuri, and SasuSaku.
P.S.S.S.S. We aren't spelling things wrong because were stupid, it's just the way he talks…
Disclaimer:
Rainbow Ramen: How many people are out there?
Toki: About one-hundred, two-hundred, whitey hatin', chrome packin', ready to bust a cap in any white boy's ass who ain't bringin' that shit!
Agent Racketeer: Yeah, at least.
Rainbow Ramen: Well, one thing is for sure. A mouse is a rat outside of the house, and we don't own Naruto!
Can I Have Your Number?
Gazing into the darkness of the current room he was in, perse eyes quickly found a vacant seat in the middle of the theater. Deidara eagerly skipped to his seat, excitement affecting the movement in his legs. Thoughts that drifted in and out of his mind were mostly on the subject of his ongoing activities; he was about to see the movie "Pride and Prejudice."
A strange, distinct sound was heard echoing in the hollowness of the theater. "Dayum!" Curiosity getting the better of him, Deidara decided to angle his head so he could see the perpetrator of all the unnecessary commotion. A young brunette adorned in an orange mask was spotted relaxing a few rows behind.
Deidara chose to ignore the outburst and slumped back into his lush seat. "Dayum! Oh, Dayum! OK, OK, OK. Ahem. 'Scuse me, can I talk to you for a minute? Excuse me; can I talk to you for a minute?"
Out of habit, Deidara turned around and said, "Um, yeah, what's up?"
Tobi took this as his opening to court the young beauty in front of him. "Uh, um, yeah, my name's Tobi. It's spelled 'toe-bih', but it's pronounced 'toe-bee.' Uh, yeah, I just wanted to let you know; the back of yo' head is ridick-ahlus."
Deidara unconsciously touched his high ponytail. "Uh, thanks." That surprisingly was the only response he could manage at the extremely awkward moment. Tobi happily stared back, completely unaware of the growing suspicions in Deidara's mind. "Yeah, you ah' welcome!" A question popped in Tobi's conscience thoughts, so he ran up right beside Deidara and poked his head in between the space above his shoulder.
"Where's yo' boyfriend?" Deidara grew weary at the sound of the upcoming question. "Yo' boyfriend? Where yo' boyfriend at? Is he gettin' you refreshments? Is he tall? Is he getting' you Mike N' Ikes? Oh, you like Mike N' Ikes? Is he hefty? Is he comin' back? Where yo' boyfriend at? Where yo' boyfriend?!"
Tobi frantically looked around the room, eyes widened at the attempt of finding Deidara's boyfriend. Instead, he heard the reluctant reply from the blonde-haired victim. "I…ah…don't have a boyfriend."
If even possible, Tobi's eyes widened a fraction and a stupid grin spread on his already goof-ish looking face.
"Oh, you don't?! Oh, you don't have a boyfriend?! Oh-okay, okay, okay. That's cool." Another idiotic question was literally screeched out at Deidara, deafening him for a moment. "So, listen! I was wonderin'; can I have your number? Can I have your number?"
"Uh…no. I don't give out my number in theaters…when I'm about to watch a movie."
Tobi furiously licked his parched lips. "Oh…okay, okay…that's cool. I get it. You know, you all into ponderin' like cinemas and make-believe and celluloids. Okay, okay…me too, me too. Alright, I respect that. Okay, Ms. Chalet, Jean Chalet."
Tobi walked away from Deidara, but ran around to the other side of him and once again asked, "What's your name, delicate?"
Instincts caused Deidara to jump out of his seat a couple of inches from the recent scare. "WOAH! Um…Deidara."
Tobi scooted closer to Deidara's private space. "Oh Deidara?! Oh, Day-um! Hold up. That's a French-ass name! Deidara…yeah! My lil' croissant, my lil' cheese on my croissant! Yeah, okay."
Tobi began to nod his head and smother his lips with saliva once more. "So listen, can I have your number? Can I have your number?"
Giving his best attempt to convince the crazy man in front of him to bestow him with the honor of peace, Deidara replied, "Well, it's my day off and I just want to watch this movie……alone. I'm sorry."
Deidara stared at the stranger for the response he was looking for. He watched with relieved eyes as Tobi stood up and took a few steps. "Okay, okay, I get it. I respect that."
Abruptly and a bit too quickly for anyone with a sane mind's liking, Tobi spun around. "So I can't have it?!"
Deidara's young face contorted into the one sure sign that he was starting to get annoyed; a scowl replaced his once calm demeanor. "NO!!"
"OH, okay, okay. I get it. You bein' all selective because you've got a pony-tail! Right, right? You think a lot of men can't handle the regal ness of the up-do. Right, am I right? You all like Grace Kelly? Grace Kelly? Grace Kelly? Grace Kelly?"
Nodding his head, a few words escaped the latter's mouth. "No, I am not being anything because I have a pony-tail."
Tobi's eyes widened ever so slightly. He frowned and shook his head. "Oh, Dei, Dei, Dei, Dei, girl. Dei, Dei, Dei, Dei. Don't be insecure, girl. Own that pony-tail. Work that up-do!"
Nervously laughing, Deidara tries to appease him. "Okay, I will."
Tobi was grinning once more. "Oh day-um! You kinda sexy when you takin' my advice! Girl, I like that! Yeah! So, um, so listen! Can I have yo' number? Can I have it? Can I have it?" Tobi was sounding abit too desperate and looked frantic for the second time.
"Can I please receive the secret code that will telephonically pass me through to you that will be your beautiful-ass number?" Deidara was scooting farther away but to no avail. Tobi just kept following him.
"No." Deidara was adamant. "Can I have it? Can I? Can I? Can I? Can I have it? Can I have it?" Tobi sniffed Deidara twice. "Can I have it?"
He just pitied Tobi now. "No. The previews are about to start and I like to… ponder them- alone. So, but thanks anyway."
Tobi stood up, silently understanding. "Oh. Okay, okay. That's cool. That's cool. You wanna, like, do all the intricacies in the cinema. Okay, yeah. So I'm- You just keep doin' your thang, you know, just keep doin' yo' thang, Deidara Chalet. Deidara Chalet. My lil' bri. Yeah. Okay. Alright, alright, alright. I'm gonna miss you, though. I'm gonna miss you. Alright." Tobi started walking away. "You enjoy your day girl…. I love you."
Seemingly exiting the theatre, another sexy person walks in. Black hair and crimson eyes. Basically 'Dayum' would be a word to describe him. Turning on one heel, he follows the smexy person and the story continues….
Fin
A/N: Who would give Tobi their number? We would! R&R you little whores!
Don't forget our promise either! We guarantee that we'll write a story dedicated to YOU!
Author's Dictionary:
Day-um: Slang for the term 'Damn'
Ridick-ahlus: Pronunciation for the term 'Ridiculous'
Celluloids: Who knows?
Wise Words:
"If at first you don't succeed, cheat. Repeat until caught. Then lie." –Some random chick
"Jesus is coming—HIDE THE PORN!" –Someone cool