Reminiscent
Cool, refreshing waves of air blew into my face, bringing a smile to my lips. It was quite a welcome relief for my dampened body, I could feel beads of sweat making their way down my back like little ants on a march. I opened my eyes to stare down at the city below my bare feet, and I leaned forward until I felt just a tad unbalanced. With a smirk I swung my legs in the open air, wondering if people who jump from this height got any thrill, any sense of brief and uninhibited joy, before realizing they had made a permanent mistake.
Ah, if my parents could see me now, my mother would probably scream. Well...Actually, she wouldn't. I know her gaze would pass right through me, and in a flash the smile I had worked so hard to achieve vanished. A frustrated growl escaped me as I kicked my leg out, wishing I had something more solid to hit than the empty chasm beneath me. Huh, a city is beneath me, that's a funny way to look at it. Not just any city either, the grand New York City in all its grey and disappointing entirety lies before me. I'm lucky to live on the edge of it, in the middle of nowhere, where everybody knows nobody and the art of invisibility is a favorite past time. That, and escape.
"Lizzy! Lizzy, over here!"
My dozing thoughts snapped to attention at the sound of my name, a hand passed over my eyes to peer through the sunrays for the source of noise, and the grin visited once more.
"Hey, Catherine!" I called out to a figure across the street.
The girl, teetering in the middle of her teenage years like myself, but taller and more slender than my own petite curvy form, waved her arms in that frantic manner of greeting she is so fond of.
Raising my free hand in a returning wave, I pulled my feet up from the edge of the roof and let out an 'oof' as I flopped on my stomach. My face and arms now free to dangle high above the street, I asked as casually as if I were sitting with her in a living room, "What's up?"
"Not much," she replied, "just gettin' ready to have dinner with Daddy. Wanna join us? It gets a little lonely with just us. Three's better company than two, especially with you around!"
Her mismatched eyes, one blue and one brown, shimmered brightly in the diminishing daylight as she waited for my response, the expression on her face one of tireless happiness and patience. You knew from one look at her that she was the kind of person to find the good in every situation, she couldn't withhold her rare form of kindness if she tried. And she never did.
Her offer took the chill right off of my downcast mood, but I shook my head sadly. "I can't, I'm sorry...Dad made me promise to have dinner with them this time."
Catherine nodded once, her smile lessened but no less warm. "That's ok, I understand. You know you're welcome to come around any time you like."
"Thanks for the offer, Catherine." I said with a merry swing of my legs, "Tell your dad I say 'hi'!"
"Can do! Have a good night, Lizzy. See you tomorrow!"
I crossed my arms on the ledge and rested my chin on them, watching from my vantage point as my best friend disappeared inside her apartment building. A sigh escaped from deep inside of me, and with it that distinct brand of happiness Catherine carried with her wherever she went. However, a kindling of warmth remained, as always. It would never be blown out, not as long as I had her to bring it life. She is the sister I never had, I'm truly lucky.
Shifting my body underneath me, I turned my gaze upwards once more to the now dusky sky. A shiver ran down my spine as the once-heated air took on a chilly temperature, but I still didn't feel like moving. Not yet. Memories danced around my head as they were awakened by the familiar scene that I had been a part of moments ago, and I chuckled at the similarity.
Many years ago, (though it seemed a lifetime past, one that belonged to a completely different person than the one I claim to be now), a younger me had been in this very same spot, talking to a girl across the street who seemed very strange to me then. Darkness fell across my emerald eyes, and through the lens of memory I saw a child with golden hair in twin braids that framed her chubby features. Scenery fell into place, along with the sparse clouds of a day like today, all swirling into reality from the depths of my mind. Deeply inhaling the open air, I let myself drift back to that fateful summer afternoon.
Her head arched back to stare straight up at the sky, a little girl with dark chocolate hair counted the clouds for as far as she could see. The other kids at school said you can see shapes in the clouds, like a horse or an ice cream cone, but she couldn't. Clouds were made up of water droplets, they can't become ice cream any more than a person could, it's not possible. But when she told them this, they only called her a retard and laughed at her. That was today at lunch time, and lucky for them the bell rang at that moment, because she was ready to pounce on the closest child she could grab.
"Retard, retard! Retards are stupid, that's why you don't have any friends, retard! You're too dumb to make friends!"
The school kids sang that every time she passed by, and Lizzy hated it. When they first started calling her a retard, tears would well up in her little emerald eyes and stream down her cheeks. Now that she was used to it, she only got more and more angry, balling her tiny fists up in rage and threatening to bash the skulls of any kids who got near. That scared them enough to keep away, but that never stopped them from teasing her at a distance.
"Ohhh, why do they have to be so mean!" Lizzy exclaimed in her shrill voice as she shook her fists at the clouds. "It's not fair, I didn't do anything. Why do they pick on me, why can't they at least leave me alone..."
The little girl blew out a huff and hugged her knees closer to her chest. At least it was a nice day today, she thought to herself. Summertime was fast approaching, driving spring back farther with each day, and already the air smelled different. She could never place her finger on it, but summer smelled like sunshine mixed with freshly cut grass and dry concrete. Reaching down to feel the roof beneath her hand, a smile tugged at the corners of her mouth as the rough surface filled her fingers with sun-baked warmth.
On most days anymore, the only place Lizzy found relief was 'her spot' on the roof of her apartment building. Inside with her family only brought more discomfort to the girl as her mother persistently ignored her, and her father said not a word except to sternly remind her to keep quiet.
"Keep quiet, your mother is working. You know she works hard at home from the computer, you should know better than to pester her."
"But she's always working. And then you always go away in your police car..." Lizzy mumbled into her knees. Even in the comfort of her self-declared sanctuary, away from her warmth-absent family and the relentless kids at elementary school, loneliness and sadness still haunted the little girl like a dark cloud over her head.
The metallic clang of a door being slammed shut roused Lizzy from her sniffling gloom, and she wiped a rough hand over her eyes as she peered over the edge of the roof. Across the street, a moving van puttered out from the driveway, leaving behind a lawn littered with empty packing boxes and stray Styrofoam peanuts. Little Lizzy let out a small 'huh' to herself, it seems the new neighbors had finally finished unpacking.
Squinting her eyes so as to get a better glimpse of what potential friend or foe she might have to face, she soon fixated on a small figure sitting cross-legged in the middle of the driveway. It was a girl, not much younger than Lizzy, sitting simply munching a cookie. Her attention seemed to be focused on the ground directly in front of her, as her intense stare never wavered except to occasionally sprinkle crumbs on the concrete.
Lizzy shook her head and sighed. That girl was odd for sure, even to a socially-challenged child like herself. Yet curiosity was getting the better of her, and since she truly had nothing more exciting to do, Lizzy shrugged half-heartedly and decided to give the new girl a chance.
Nimbly maneuvering the rusty steps and numerous landings of her apartment's fire escape, she let out a huff as she leapt to the ground. The miniature neighbor didn't seem to take notice when Lizzy approached her driveway, or if she did she did not bother to look up from her fixation with the concrete. Increasingly hesitant, her shy introverted nature getting the better of her with each step, Lizzy continued her patient advance until she stopped a few paces from the girl.
"Hi." Lizzy stated, puffing up all the confidence her tiny frame could muster.
The cross-legged girl calmly lifted her head and, upon meeting gazes, Lizzy's mouth dropped open, rather rudely, at what she saw. The girl was ordinary enough, with golden hair divided between twin braids and a fair complexion sure to develop into eternally youthful grace, but the only flaw she possessed was a pair of mismatched eyes. One eye was the color of rich chocolate and the other was a clear icy blue. Lizzy, being as young as she was, had never encountered such an abnormality, and she continued to stare in bewilderment.
Yet the girl appeared accustomed to this sort of reaction from strangers, for she merely offered a warm innocent smile and said, "Hello, you're my neighbor right? I saw you on the roof over there. It looked like fun sitting in the sunshine, but I'm afraid of heights, so I can't go up there. I'm Catherine, I'm almost seven years old. What's your name?"
After a handful of confused moments, Lizzy blinked and said awkwardly, "I-I'm Elizabeth. Lizzy." Crossing her arms in an attempted display of superiority, she added proudly, "I'm eight-and-a-half years old. I can read and write better than all the kids in my school."
Catherine smiled again and reached a chubby arm out to shake her new neighbor's hand, an adult mannerism so out of place in her current state of being. "Nice to meet you, Lizzy! Wanna sit down with me? Mommy and Daddy are still inside putting stuff away."
Lizzy nodded quietly, and she took up a similar cross-legged position next to Catherine. She watched out of the corner of her eye as the new girl continued to drop crumbs on the concrete before she abruptly held out half of a cookie.
"Would you like to share?" asked Catherine. "I've had one already, they're Mommy's special recipe."
Lizzy accepted the offering with a small smile at her generosity, and she took a bite. Emerald eyes widening, she spoke with a hasty mouthful, "Dith ith oatmeal raithin! I love oatmeal raithin!"
"Really? They're my favorite too!" Catherine said as she clapped in delight.
Wolfing down the rest of the cookie, little Lizzy brushed the crumbs off her yellow tee-shirt and let out a content sigh. She turned to Catherine, and the shy smile brightened as she said, "Thanks. You're a little funny, but you're nice."
Catherine returned the smile. Pinching a handful of crumbs in her fingers, she sprinkled them once more on the driveway.
Lizzy, puzzlement etched into her features, asked with tilted head, "Why do you keep doing that?"
"For George." Catherine pointed to a black ant skittering towards the fresh pile of cookie leftovers, watching delightedly as he hoisted a crumb before returning the way he came. He repeated this action multiple times, until the pile was gone and Catherine replenished it. "He looked lonely, so I helped him. I've got no more cookie though, so he'll be gone soon."
Lizzy nodded once, mumbling another 'huh' to herself. Suddenly stiffening, she urgently batted Catherine's shoulder and directed her attention to a manhole situated a few feet away in the street. Both children listened intently as Lizzy made a shushing motion, holding their breaths as a subtle scrape and rattle emerged from the heavy manhole cover. It lifted mere centimeters off the ground before quickly settling back down, as ordinary as it had been moments before.
"What was that?" Catherine whispered in her small voice, her eyes wide as saucers.
"I don't know," Lizzy breathed back, "but it happens sometimes. Nobody believes me, but you saw it too, right? Maybe there are ghosts under there…Sometimes I even see eyes, like animal's eyes at night, but less scary…"
Shuddering as a shiver ran down her spine, Catherine shook her head in a motion that sent her golden braids twitching. "I don't wanna talk about ghosts, I don't like 'em. They better stay down there. 'Cause I'm staying up here in the sun."
"Me too." Lizzy agreed.
The two girls sat side-by-side with knee-scraped legs stretched out to warm in the sun, both mutually enjoying each other's company in that simple way of children.
"I like your eyes, they're cool."
"Thank you! Mommy said she gave them to me, she has my eyes too. Daddy's are both blue."
"My parents have greeny-brown eyes, but I got green like my grandpa."
"I like green eyes, they're like grass and trees and bushes."
"Yeah, and blue eyes look like sky and water, but like a glass of water and not like river water, it's too muddy."
"I've never seen a real life river, but I swam in a pool before."
They continued to happily chatter on until the summer sun arched towards the west, elongating shadows that were soon to melt together in a common dusk. Lizzy lifted her head upwards towards the painted sky, and a faint sadness crept into her eyes. "I should go, Mom and Dad will be eating dinner soon…" she mumbled.
Catherine nodded in understanding, and the two girls picked themselves up off the rapidly-cooling concrete. Turning towards her neighbor with that familiar genuine smile, Catherine said, "You're my first friend here, my first real friend really. I hope we can see each other lots. Maybe I can sit on your driveway next!"
Lizzy grinned, a reflex which hadn't been exercised often before but that suddenly seemed so natural in her current setting. "Ok. You're my first real friend too, today was fun!" With a wave she dashed across the street and called over her shoulder, "Bye Catherine, see you later!"
"Bye Lizzy!" Catherine shouted, waving her arms in a manner she would never quite grow out of.
I opened my eyes to a dusky sky pricked with the faint stars of early evening, and I sat up into a stiff cross-legged position. I may not be as flexible and tolerant of hard surfaces as I was, I chuckled to myself, but I still enjoy these moments I can lose myself on my rooftop sanctuary.
I will never forget that summer day Catherine and I first met, almost an exact nine years ago, nor the countless days of friendship we spent after that. Upon moving here she started attending my same school, and with someone to call a friend by my side every day, the teasing from the other kids suddenly seemed much less impactful. Unfortunately, they turned their cruelty on her as well for the gift of mismatched eyes they seemed so determined to turn into a curse. Yet since I was a friend by her side as well, she never seemed to take notice, and she shook off their insults like water on the wings of a swan. I envy her effortless confidence.
I also envied the way she quickly passed me up in height, slenderness, and feminine grace. I felt I never quite shed the childish chub from my features as she had from hers, but my athletic figure soon filled in properly enough. No matter how mature we grew though, on days when we were feeling child-like and mischievous, sometimes we would rekindle the legend of the manhole cover. We always laugh it off as something borne from the overactive imagination of children, but whenever we pass over one of those covers, we still hold our breaths, listening and watching. We never openly admit it, but there are days when the sun is just low enough on the horizon that we swear we can see eyes peering out from the depths. Without enough evidence, however, it remains a haunting story to be whispered during sleepovers.
Some things hadn't changed. My mother was still absorbed in her work day in and day out, and my father still worked changeable hours for the station, which left me unattended as a ghost in my own house. I don't mind as much now though; we live together as a family, which I soon learned was not a blessing granted to all. It may be half her life since Catherine lost her mother, but she was never the same carefree girl after that. In a way, I lost a motherly figure as well, and I mourned her with Catherine as I would alongside a sister. We've grown up together, shared our lives across the street together, and I hope whatever life throws our way we will be able to face it together.
Lifting myself from the ground, I looked up one last time at the deepening evening, and smiled. I was young and invincible with a best friend by my side, life was methodical but ever-promising. Little did I know our predictable worlds would soon be turned so completely upside-down by forces we never dared imagine, but that's a story for another day. For now, I turned and headed for my apartment door, looking forward to all the days Catherine and I would have ahead of us.