Electric Indigo

Rating: Ehh... Teen?

Disclaimer: I DON'T OWN THEM.

Summary: "You're holding me with something locked behind your eyes and I've been waiting for it all to take control. You're setting me right. You've got something that I need… something I can't find."

A/N: SO THIS IS MY FIRST JOHN AND MONICA FIC. I FINALLY got around to watching season 8 and 9 of The X-Files. I've been putting it off hoping it would come back one day and I WAS RIGHT. Haha. So I fell in love with these two, naturally.

This is kind of an alternate ending to Audrey Pauley. It's also dedicated to Rachel (my second mamma) as a late birthday present and to Julia (my twin) because they've been waiting forever for me to join the John/Monica ship.

Sorry for any grammar mistakes. The fic's title is from a song by a band called The Paper Kites. Sorry for any grammar mistakes!

He walks around the front of his truck to open her door and let her out. There wasn't a snowball's chance in hell that he was going to let her drive herself home after being released from the hospital. She gets out of his truck and comes around to face him, her eyes stuck on his lips in hopes that maybe… just maybe, he'll get it right this time. There's no doubt that the question in both of their minds was 'What if?'

What if he hadn't been such a coward and afraid to let her love him, would he have kissed her that night? Would kissing her somehow delay her departure from his home and ultimately prevent her from nearly dying?

He wasn't sure if he could handle being responsible for Luke and Monica's death. He could only imagine the spill she'd force on him, trying to convince them that it wasn't his fault… that there was no way he could have known.

"Goodnight," he firmly says, never taking his eyes off of her. It's hard to hide the disappointed smile, but she manages.

"Goodnight," she iterates and heads for her stairs. He doesn't make a move to leave, doesn't even think about getting back into his truck until he's seen with his own two eyes that she's made it safely into her apartment building.

When she reaches the top of the stairs, she turns and the look she sends him nearly breaks his heart in half. He was sure that she'd want to catch up on rest after the traumatic experience she had just been through. And he wasn't sure that he could be much help if he had stayed; constantly checking up on her to make sure she was okay.

She disappears behind the door's curtains and after hearing it lock behind her, he begins to walk for the driver's side of his truck. His hand wraps around the handle and before he knows it, he's thrown back into the night he almost kissed Monica Reyes.

In the words of his new found love interest, maybe it was the universe giving him some sign that it should have happened; that maybe it's why she's alive… to give him some kind of second chance at happiness.

He shakes his head.

No. He had gotten lucky, was all. Lucky that Monica hadn't been hurt worse and lucky that she hadn't died.

'Then what are you doing still standing here,' he asks himself, staring at his hand that's wrapped around his truck door handle and making no move to pull the door open.

—

She had unlocked her apartment, hung her keys up, and shrugged out of her jacket. She had finally unpacked everything from the move into the apartment and it was finally starting to feel like home. Except for it was a little too spacious for her liking. Back in New Orleans, she had lived in a studio apartment just big enough for her bed and a piece or two of furniture.

The thought of her old home had made her miss the big city. She told herself that if she ever had an opportunity to take John to see the city, she would.

She takes a few steps and comes to stand in the exact spot where she had reached up and wiped at the corner of John's mouth not a few months ago. He had come to help her move and so gratefully brought her a 'house warming gift', as he had called it. Hotdogs.

He had looked so handsome that day, she remembered. Although, couldn't remember what had compelled her to reach up in such an intimate way and wipe off the leftover mustard from the corner of his mouth in the way that she had. He hadn't stopped her, hadn't backed away, hadn't made a big deal about it… only gave her grief when she mentioned plates.

She laughed softly out into the empty apartment.

The door behind her suddenly opens and she spins on her heels, reaching behind her for her gun, but realizes she doesn't have it on her. It makes no difference though, because it's John standing in her doorway with the spare key to her apartment between his fingers.

She swallows hard when she gets a glance at his face. He must have run up the flights of stairs, because he's red in the face and his chest is heaving.

"John," her voice is shaky and she knows if she says another word, it'll betray what she's truly feeling. "What… what-"

It doesn't take him long to close the door behind him and stalk across the room to where she stands. His hand comes up from his side and slides across her cheek, his fingers cradling the back of her head as his thumb caresses her cheek.

He's careful to avoid her injuries from the accident, but still manages to pull her body close to his as his lips descend to hers. Their first kiss is everything she imagined and more. His lips are so soft and gentle against hers. She grabs hold of his waist with both of her hands to steady herself when she feels her knees start to grow weak. His other hand comes up to frame her face as they continue their kiss.

It's not until he starts to release her lips that she presses harder into his body and parts her mouth. She catches his bottom lip between her teeth and encourages him to continue kissing her. His hands drop from her face and snake around her waist, both of his hands pressing up against her lower back to keep her close to him.

She tilts her head to give him better access, but when his hand passes over a bruised area on her back, she winces into his mouth.

He pulls away instantly, not wanting to cause her any pain, but she's got her lips pressed together in an attempt to dampen a wide smile that's starting to form, despite her pain. With arms still around one another, she's the first to break the silence.

"Dare I ask what compelled you to do that?" He says nothing, but smirks. "Well… whatever it was… I'm glad," she confesses. At her words, he dips his head again to claim her lips once more. It's a new found high, being so close to her and having her in his arms.

There had been a time when he thought he'd never find happiness again, especially after Luke and Barbara, but there was hope with Monica Reyes smiling into the kisses he was pressing against her lips.

"I shoulda kissed you in that car," he confesses. "I can't help but think that maybe it woulda' stopped you from getting hurt."

"John, you had-"

"I know, I know. 'I had no idea. It's not my fault.' Yada, yada." She smiles at his impression of her. "But out there…" He points to where he left his truck in front of her apartment building. "Tonight… that look you gave me." She knows that this isn't like him; not one to talk about feelings and what he's thinking, always coming off as the tough guy. "Monica, I couldn't help but think that I've been given a second chance."

She's grown quiet now, taking in this moment, one that she's waited a long time for.

"A second chance? At what?" She catches the way his eyes flutter down to her lips and she can all but guess.

"I think you know." She opens her mouth to say something, but he's cut her off. Their arms had fallen away from one another at some point in his little confession, but she doesn't mind the absence. Just being close to him like this is enough to satisfy her. "After seeing you in that hospital bed… and feeling so helpless, like there was nothing I could do, I realized something." His eyes are nearly burning into hers. "There are very few things I care about in this world, ever since I lost my family, but you are one of them… and I needed you to know that."

"I-"

"I know there's no going back after this. I know that. But… I'm willing to give this a shot if you are, so… whadda ya' say?"

There's a small jolt of electricity that shoots through his body when she reaches down and slips her hand through his. Even in the dimness of her apartment, she can see the small grin spread across his face.

"I say… you help me out of these clothes so I can take a shower and get ready for bed."

"I can do that," he promises, taking the lead and pulling her into her bedroom where he'll carefully help her out of her clothing, noticing the aged bruises and cuts on her flawless skin. It's not until she's standing before him in a black lace bra and matching underwear does he take her pile of clothing to the hamper in the corner of her bedroom. "I'll be right here if you need anything," he says after pressing a kiss to her forehead and watching her disappear into her bathroom.

When the sound of running water hits his ears, he falls back against the chair near her bed and sighs.

It's later in the night after she's come out and dressed, when they're laying together in her bed, when she turns to him.

"You know… for this to work… you're going to have to let me in." There's a look of apprehension on his face, so she calms him. "I'm not talking about telling me what you're feeling every hour of the day, but… you have to trust me."

"I can do that," he promises again, tightening his grip around her.

A/N: OKAY SO THERE IT IS. I plan to make this a little multi-chapter fic, but not super long. I'm sure there's hundreds of fics out there like it, but whatever :) Sorry for any grammar mistakes, let me know how you liked it! Review! :)