Disclaimer: I don't own Captain Jack Sparrow (though I wish I did) or Pirates of the Caribbean (though I wish I did) or the song "Gump" (sigh).
I was rather bored when I wrote this, but it's still pretty good.
Jack
Jack stood alone in the Port Royal town
"Me kohl is running," he'd say with a frown
Putting on more kohl and drinking some rum
He found out that Gibbs is his long-lost mum
He's Jack, he's Jack
He's just so cool
He's Jack, he's Jack, he's Jack
He robbed a school
Jack was the best pirate around
He stole his hat from the Lost and Found
He drinks a lot of rum because
He told himself drunken is as drunken does
He's Jack, he's Jack
He's got the Pearl
He's Jack, he's Jack, he's Jack
He's not a girl
His buddy Will is a eunuch man
His mutinous first-mate frightened Peter Pan
His good friend Gibbs likes to sleep with pigs
He often gets chased by idiots in wigs
He's Jack, he's Jack
He's quite a guy
He's Jack, he's Jack, he's Jack
He'll steal your pie
Rum... rum... The rum's all been burned now
Rum... rum... Why's all the rum gone?
Rum... rum... But why's the rum gone?
Rum... NO! (Jack falls to his knees screaming "NOOOOOOO!" in anguish)
Did this Jack steal from his mum?
I think so
Did this Jack act like a bum?
I think so
Did this Jack drink lots of rum?
I think so
And that's all I have to say about that.
Well, "that's all I have to say about that". Now review! (Please)