Disclaimer: Xena doesn't belong to me
Author's notes: This little piece takes place on the night after Xena
killed Marcus in 'Mortal beloved'.
Tears
Eva
Gabrielle was tired. They were in a safe place and she wasn't cold or anything. So what was it that she couldn't sleep?
They had found a small open spot near the Alconian Lake, where they had settled down after Xena had returned from the Underworld.
Speaking about Xena. she was worried.
The tall warrior hadn't said anything since she had told her that she would always carry Marcus in her heart. She hadn't touched anything of the meal Gabrielle had made and instead of doing her usual sword drills; she had spent her evening staring into the fire, not reacting to anything Gabrielle had said.
Gabrielle had tried to get her to talk about it a bit, but Xena had pulled up those walls around here which she wasn't able to break down yet.
So, now she was lying in her bed roll, gazing past the fire to the silent form on the other side.
***
She had fallen asleep somehow. But currently something was poking at her hazy conscious-ness. She rolled up onto one elbow and gazed around to find out what had caused her to wake up.
Immediately her gaze fell on the thrashing woman on the other side of the fire. Probably having a nightmare.
Gabrielle hesitated. Last time she had woken the warrior up from a nightmare the woman somehow had been embarrassed. A low moan pulled her from her musings and shattered all her thoughts of staying where she was.
She pushed the blankets away and crawled over to the other side of the fire.
She didn't touch the warrior, having been warned that doing might result into getting belted across the campsite. So she settled on calling with a soothing voice. "Xena, wake up. It's only a nightmare. Xena."
She kept calling softly, until sleepy blue eyes peered at her.
"Gabrielle?"
"Hé, you were having a nightmare. You all right?" She moved over and put a hand on Xena's shoulder.
It was silent for a few seconds. "Yeah, I am okay."
Gabrielle studied the quiet form before her. A few tears were flowing down from the pale blue eyes, which were surrounded with red rims. The shoulder under her hand was trembling faintly, but noticeably. And her voice had also been trembling. "You don't look okay to me." she replied.
Silence was her only answer.
"Xena?"
Only silence.
"Xena, please. Talk to me. It hurts me to see you like this."
Pale blue eyes met forest green ones for a moment, then turned to the ground. Xena slowly sat up, keeping her gaze on the ground.
"I killed him." the words were whispered so softly that Gabrielle had big trouble hearing them.
She was silent for a second, trying to understand the words. "What do you mean with that, Xena?"
"I killed him, Gabrielle. I stabbed him."
Gabrielle breathed in sharply. She was silent for a few seconds. "Why?"
"We couldn't take the risk. We needed to make sure Hades would judge him again."
"Marcus knew?"
"He asked me."
Gabrielle nodded and went over this for a few moments. Slowly she started to speak. "I can't tell you that I know how much it hurts. Only that I can imagine it. but think, Xena. I think he was very happy. he got to be with you for a while and finally you could tell each other the truth. And finally, you made sure that he got what he deserved for what he had done. You had to do something terrible for that, but he asked you. And Xena, you told me the death could hear the thoughts of the living. From I saw from Marcus he would hate himself that he put you through this."
Xena was silent, obviously think about what she had said. Finally she said: "What do you think I should do?"
Gabrielle smiled a little. "You need to eat something. There still is some soup. Then you are gonna try to get some more sleep and we will see again in the morning." Gabrielle moved over to poke up the fire to heat the soup, but first she pulled a blanket around the shoulders of the tall, dark figure.
'I have never seen her so. vulnerable.' She glanced over to the woman staring in the fire. 'Thank the Gods she is listening to me.'
***
Xena had eaten some of the soup Gabrielle had given her and had laid down on her bedroll again.
Gabrielle sunk down besides her with crossed legs and placed a hand on her shoulder. "Sleep well, Xena."
Blue eyes looked at her and Gabrielle smiled gently.
"Tell me a story?" she asked.
Gabrielle's smile became wider. "Of course. Now, close your eyes."
The woman before her did what she and Gabrielle started to speak: "I sing of the birth of Aphrodite from the foam of the see." She paused for a second when she felt a hand landing on a knee and she ran the hand that had been on Xena's shoulder gently through the thick, black hair.
Her voice stilled when she recognized the deep, even breathing of sleep. She pulled a blanket over her and lay down on the ground besides her.
Next morning would bring new light and new troubles. But now they needed rest. And maybe a few walls had been broken down for good.
The end
Tears
Eva
Gabrielle was tired. They were in a safe place and she wasn't cold or anything. So what was it that she couldn't sleep?
They had found a small open spot near the Alconian Lake, where they had settled down after Xena had returned from the Underworld.
Speaking about Xena. she was worried.
The tall warrior hadn't said anything since she had told her that she would always carry Marcus in her heart. She hadn't touched anything of the meal Gabrielle had made and instead of doing her usual sword drills; she had spent her evening staring into the fire, not reacting to anything Gabrielle had said.
Gabrielle had tried to get her to talk about it a bit, but Xena had pulled up those walls around here which she wasn't able to break down yet.
So, now she was lying in her bed roll, gazing past the fire to the silent form on the other side.
***
She had fallen asleep somehow. But currently something was poking at her hazy conscious-ness. She rolled up onto one elbow and gazed around to find out what had caused her to wake up.
Immediately her gaze fell on the thrashing woman on the other side of the fire. Probably having a nightmare.
Gabrielle hesitated. Last time she had woken the warrior up from a nightmare the woman somehow had been embarrassed. A low moan pulled her from her musings and shattered all her thoughts of staying where she was.
She pushed the blankets away and crawled over to the other side of the fire.
She didn't touch the warrior, having been warned that doing might result into getting belted across the campsite. So she settled on calling with a soothing voice. "Xena, wake up. It's only a nightmare. Xena."
She kept calling softly, until sleepy blue eyes peered at her.
"Gabrielle?"
"Hé, you were having a nightmare. You all right?" She moved over and put a hand on Xena's shoulder.
It was silent for a few seconds. "Yeah, I am okay."
Gabrielle studied the quiet form before her. A few tears were flowing down from the pale blue eyes, which were surrounded with red rims. The shoulder under her hand was trembling faintly, but noticeably. And her voice had also been trembling. "You don't look okay to me." she replied.
Silence was her only answer.
"Xena?"
Only silence.
"Xena, please. Talk to me. It hurts me to see you like this."
Pale blue eyes met forest green ones for a moment, then turned to the ground. Xena slowly sat up, keeping her gaze on the ground.
"I killed him." the words were whispered so softly that Gabrielle had big trouble hearing them.
She was silent for a second, trying to understand the words. "What do you mean with that, Xena?"
"I killed him, Gabrielle. I stabbed him."
Gabrielle breathed in sharply. She was silent for a few seconds. "Why?"
"We couldn't take the risk. We needed to make sure Hades would judge him again."
"Marcus knew?"
"He asked me."
Gabrielle nodded and went over this for a few moments. Slowly she started to speak. "I can't tell you that I know how much it hurts. Only that I can imagine it. but think, Xena. I think he was very happy. he got to be with you for a while and finally you could tell each other the truth. And finally, you made sure that he got what he deserved for what he had done. You had to do something terrible for that, but he asked you. And Xena, you told me the death could hear the thoughts of the living. From I saw from Marcus he would hate himself that he put you through this."
Xena was silent, obviously think about what she had said. Finally she said: "What do you think I should do?"
Gabrielle smiled a little. "You need to eat something. There still is some soup. Then you are gonna try to get some more sleep and we will see again in the morning." Gabrielle moved over to poke up the fire to heat the soup, but first she pulled a blanket around the shoulders of the tall, dark figure.
'I have never seen her so. vulnerable.' She glanced over to the woman staring in the fire. 'Thank the Gods she is listening to me.'
***
Xena had eaten some of the soup Gabrielle had given her and had laid down on her bedroll again.
Gabrielle sunk down besides her with crossed legs and placed a hand on her shoulder. "Sleep well, Xena."
Blue eyes looked at her and Gabrielle smiled gently.
"Tell me a story?" she asked.
Gabrielle's smile became wider. "Of course. Now, close your eyes."
The woman before her did what she and Gabrielle started to speak: "I sing of the birth of Aphrodite from the foam of the see." She paused for a second when she felt a hand landing on a knee and she ran the hand that had been on Xena's shoulder gently through the thick, black hair.
Her voice stilled when she recognized the deep, even breathing of sleep. She pulled a blanket over her and lay down on the ground besides her.
Next morning would bring new light and new troubles. But now they needed rest. And maybe a few walls had been broken down for good.
The end