Author's Note: Final Fantasy VIII is not my property, it's what is now known as SquareEnix's now. I am simply writing about the characters. Remember that I am a male yaoi author, so my style is different (read: above and beyond!) from that of female fanfic writers. This is an AU fic, so while you may think characters are "OOC", they aren't really, since this fic takes place a year after the year the game did, and the characters have matured since then. And if you care to flame me for any reason, including Zell's new look, feel free to. I desire any and all forms of feedback! My e-mail is malachite84@yahoo.com while my website is .
-*-
Zell grunted as he forced his aching arms and legs to keep moving, propelling himself forward in the swimming pool. 'Ugh…last lap…come on…' As he reached the deck, he gasped in relief, hauling himself out and rubbing his burning shoulders. "Ouch…maybe that was a few laps too many." He reached for his towel lying on the rack mounted on the wall, briskly drying his tightly muscled body as he walked off towards the men's showers. The blonde sighed as he stepped into the stall and turned on the hot steaming water, his tensed muscles relaxing at the sensation. Slipping off his bright blue Speedos, he rinsed off the chlorine thoroughly. His fingers slid through his hair, undoing the plain elastic band that pulled it back into its tight ponytail. Trying to speed swim with long hair unbound could be a bit irritating, he'd found out firsthand. At least he was finally over the days of his "chicken" hairdo. It wasn't that Seifer's teasing finally drove him off the edge…he just felt like a change. So he quit the gel and grew his hair out, keeping it tied back neatly most of the time. Being on both the swimming and wrestling teams kept him extremely active, not to mention his hyper personality forcing him to run around. Well, not forcing him, but…allowing him to have the energy to.
As Zell washed the chemical-laden water from his hair, another person came into the shower room. "Hey, Chi…" Seifer Almasy, star quarterback of Balamb High school, in loose pale blue boardshorts on the way to the pool, stopped in mid-taunt, his green eyes locked on Zell's nude tight buttocks. Zell glanced behind his shoulder, rolled his eyes, and went back to washing his hair. He was ignoring the teasing, as usual; something he'd learned actually worked instead of blowing up, especially since he now knew he did not look like a chicken. And it helped that he was too tired to get mad. Of course, that didn't stop Seifer from trying to get a reaction out of the shorter boy. The football player smirked as he stepped behind Zell, caressing the boy's shoulder with one large hand as he bent down and pressed his lips against the side of Zell's neck. "Trying to seduce me, chicken? If you weren't such a small guy, I'd consider taking you right here, right now".
Zell shook his head as he firmly pushed Seifer back, wrapping his towel around his waist. "Go away Seifer…I'm too worn out to do anything…sex, fighting, or otherwise". He tossed his Speedos at Seifer's face as he headed back to the locker room, snickering at the angry shout from the young man. He unlocked his locker, grabbing his plain white t-shirt, briefs, and tight blue jeans. Slipping into his clothes, he grinned as a glowering Seifer stomped back in and threw his Speedos back at the short blonde. Zell caught them nimbly, wrapping them in his towel and stuffing them into his duffel bag. "Thanks. Wouldn't want to have to buy another pair".
Seifer shook his hand and leaned against a row of lockers, tilting his head and licking his lips. "Zell…you're crazy".
Zell shrugged and slung his bag over his shoulder. "Yeah, most people think so".
As Zell tried to head towards the door, Seifer's massive frame blocked his path. "Zell, I…need to ask you something…" Seifer's voice was softer than usual, its husky tone hiding something in it. At Zell's arched eyebrow and motion to go on, Seifer cleared his throat. "When…did you, er…come out?"
"To who? My mom, my friends, the school, the world…" Zell pulled a comb from his back jeans pocket, running it through his soaked hair.
"Any of those. And how did they react." Seifer crossed his thick arms over his smooth chest, obviously not going to move unless the shorter blonde boy answered him.
"Well…I told Ma last, a year ago. So I was…17. She totally freaked out. Went on and on about grandkids and…well, other disturbing things. She's a little better now…but she still cries sometimes, I think, especially when I tell her about, er, guys. I feel bad, but there's nothing I can do about it. I told Squall as soon as I knew myself, and the school knew about the time…"
"When you got the ponytail…you were caught with that foreign exchange student, ditching world history to make out in the halls." Seifer nodded, his eyes narrowed in intensity. "Were people angry? Like…your teammates?"
"The swim team didn't really care…Squall made sure of that. The wrestling team…well, Nida gives me a hard time, but most of the other guys are pretty cool about it…which was so weird. You'd think they'd freak over a gay guy having them in a choke hold." Zell shook his head as he pulled his hair back with one hand, and then skillfully wrapped the elastic band from his wrist around the new ponytail.
"Oh. That's…cool…" Seifer bit his lip and shook his head violently. "I've…gotta go…do my laps".
Zell nodded and then suddenly smiled his usual bright smile. "Don't worry Seifer…you don't have to…come out".
Seifer would have looked shocked, except he knew that Zell was almost positive Seifer liked other guys too. "I know. But…it's killing me inside, lying all the time. I can't keep this up. I've got to tell people…soon". Seifer suddenly stepped forward and wrapped Zell in a rib-cracking hug. "Thanks, Chicken. You…helped".
"You're welcome" Zell patted Seifer's chest firmly as the other slowly removed his embrace. "And Seifer…I know what you feel like. And…I can tell you by experience…no matter what awful things come up because of your coming out, it's still worth it".
As Zell vanished through the doorway, Seifer ran a hand through his short hair and sighed. 'I hope you're right Zell…because every day is getting harder. Soon, my secret's going to have to come out…and I might lose everything'.
-*-
Squall was the first one out of the door of chemistry class when the lunch bell rang. He headed straight for his locker, ignoring the clamor of students behind him. As he shoved his chem book into the locker, a sweet female voice in his ear caused him to frown slightly.
"Squaaaaall…" As the dark-haired boy turned around, he was faced with a beautiful raven-haired girl smiling prettily. "I made us some lunch so we can avoid those nasty lines in the cafeteria." Rinoa held up a large powder blue cooler covered with flower prints.
Squall nodded as he slammed his locker back shut and slung his backpack over his shoulders again. "Cool. Can we eat it outside?" Zell would be in the cafeteria, and he'd want to talk…talk about things that Rinoa wasn't allowed to hear. Seifer would be there too, and he didn't feel like a fight on an empty stomach.
"I guess so. But it's a bit chilly out there." She dropped the cooler in Squall's arms and took off for her own locker. "Stay put while I get my jacket!"
Dropping the cooler carefully on the tiled floor, Squall gazed down the hallway at the double glass doors that led outside. 'She'd better hurry, or else someone might…'
"Heya, Squall!" Squall rolled his eyes as Zell ran up beside him, practically jumping up and down with hyper energy. Anticipation of hot dogs at lunch, no doubt. "Why aren't you in the cafeteria yet, man? We aren't gonna be able to find seats…"
"Zell…" Squall glared mildly at the blonde, attempting to shut the boy up so he could talk. It didn't work.
"I saw the hottest guy before school, outside the auditorium! I think he's a senior too. He had these gorgeous hazel eyes and these huge arms! You could see the muscles of his six-pack through his…"
Rinoa turned the corner, now clad in her light blue denim jacket, walking back towards Squall. She twisted her pink-lipsticked lips in a sort of slight pouty frown, her dark eyes glaring pointedly at Zell.
"…muscle shirt! And his ass!" Zell's mouth snapped shut as Squall covered it with a black leather-gloved hand.
Squall cut in smoothly. "Zell, I promised Rinoa I'd eat with her today. We're going outside now. You know I'd love for you to come, but…"
"She hates me. I know." Zell shrugged it off. "She's your friend and your problem. Not mine. Later, dude."
Rinoa stood next to Squall as they watched Zell run off, shaking her head as she murmured darkly "Fag".
Squall bit his lip at the ugly word, thankful that Zell didn't hear. He watched Zell's tightly pulled ponytail fly behind him as he vanished around the corner, on his way to get his usual plate of hot dogs for lunch.
Rinoa grasped Squall's hand in hers, pulling him towards the door while the boy lugged the cooler. She chattered absently, no hint of the ugly word escaping her mouth seconds ago. "So I told Selphie that the gymnastics team needs me more than the cheerleading squad. I mean, it's like, way too hard to do both! I can't imagine someone trying to do two sports at once…even you, Squall! You're only the captain of the swimming team. I doubt anyone could do two different things."
Squall pointed towards a cluster of picnic tables as he walked next to Rinoa. "Zell's in wrestling and swimming."
The young woman smacked Squall's arm playfully. "He doesn't count! Oh, look! The benches aren't even iced over! How lucky!" She brushed at the stone bench before sitting down carefully, smiling at Squall.
"Uh huh." Squall sat down across from Rinoa, digging through the cooler and taking out what Rinoa had packed. Soon, a large bag of sour cream and onion potato chips, an extra large thermos of hot chocolate, and a pile of plastic wrapped sandwiches lay neatly on the table. "Oh."
"See, turkey and Swiss sandwiches. All your favorites!" Rinoa gushed a bit as she poured Squall and herself cocoa in the Styrofoam cups she'd packed.
"Yeah, thanks." Squall offered a small smile as he opened the bag of chips and munched on a handful.
"You're welcome. I thought you needed something to cheer you up. You've been looking kind of sad lately." Rinoa tilted her head, her eyes on Squall's. "What's wrong?"
Squall sipped his hot chocolate carefully then took a big bite of his sandwich. He chewed thoughtfully, then took another drink before replying "Mostly my mom. She's been really ragging on my dad a lot lately. I don't know why! I've never even known him…if I hear about how he left her when she was pregnant for me one more time, I'll scream. It's really weird. She tells me in this strange choked voice 'You look so much like Laguna', then either gets all sad or angry."
Rinoa shook her head as she took a bite out of a chip. "Your mom is just being strange. Is she going through menopause? Or is it just her time of the month?"
Squall coughed loudly, blushing slightly at the uncomfortable mention of feminine hygienic matters. "I don't know…I hope that she's going to stop this soon. It's so annoying."
"Are you sure that's all? That's bothering you, I mean." Rinoa smiled warmly. "You can tell me…we're friends, Squall. We've known each other over five years!"
"It's nothing, Rinoa. Really." Squall took another large bite of his sandwich, his inner monologue buzzing. 'I just really want a boyfriend. I really want to stop hiding who I am from you and Mom. I want everyone I know to stop being so homophobic. Ugh. I wish I could talk to Rinoa the same way I talk to Zell. But she'd freak.'
"Squall, I know you're talking to yourself." Rinoa giggled softly. "But it'll be okay. I'm sure your mom will be back to her normal sweet self soon."
"I hope so…I've almost cleaned out our medicine cabinet of all the things that treat headache." Squall took a gulp of hot chocolate, crumbling up his sandwich's wrapper.
Rinoa laughed again and poured Squall some more cocoa. "Don't get addicted, druggie."
"I won't." Squall sighed softly and ran a hand through his messy hair. "You too cold?"
"Nope. It's actually kind of nice out here. Oh yeah! I wanted to tell you about what Selphie told me first period. You know Raijin, right? Huge muscular guy, sounds kind of stupid. Well, Selphie told me that Quistis told her that Irvine said…"
Squall sighed inwardly and zoned out, nodding absently as his supposed best friend droned on and on. He was tempted, as always, to just come out and say something that was totally out of character for him. Like 'Raijin? Oh yeah! My eyes were on his crotch when we were watching football practice. Man, I bet he's got at least 10 inches of cock in that jockstrap of his.' But Squall wasn't one for taking risks, so he just let Rinoa drone on and on.
-*-
"Hey, Seifer!" Raijin wrapped a massive arm around Seifer's shoulders, grinning brightly. "What's up?"
The two were walking down the halls on the way to football practice. The hallway was practically empty, despite the bell ringing a mere four minutes ago. Highschool kids just weren't up for staying in school a second longer than they had to. Of course, the jocks didn't have a choice when it came to practice. "Nothing, man." Seifer slapped Raijin's back harder than necessary, but still friendly enough. "Just practice, right?"
"Yup. Oh, coach is gonna be really shocked. I actually got those two new plays memorized, ya know?" Raijin beamed proudly.
"Hey, that's great man." Seifer clasped Raijin's shoulder firmly, offering the young man the encouragement he needed. It usually took Raijin at least two weeks, but he'd done it in three days. "I hope you didn't skip that essay we had for English in order to memorize football."
"Naw. Fujin helped me with that last night. She's so smart! I wonder why she isn't in the advanced classes, ya know?"
Seifer shrugged. "She's weird." Actually, he knew the real reason why. Fujin wanted as many classes with Raijin as possible. Without her help, his grades would have slipped below C's and he'd be booted from the team.
As they turned the corner to get to the men's locker room, Raijin grumbled something under his breath. "Seif, me and Fu have been worried about ya lately. I mean…we can tell something's really wrong. You can tell me, ya know?"
Seifer stopped in his tracks and leaned against a wall, glowering darkly. His friends knew him too well. "It's the usual."
"Boyfriend." A soft feminine whisper caused Seifer and Raijin to both spin around and gaze wonderingly at Fujin, in her cheerleading outfit, smiling sadly. It was so unlike her, Raijin rubbed at his eyes to make sure it wasn't some good twin version of the silver-haired girl. "Come out."
Seifer groaned and ran his fingers through his short blonde hair again. "Man, you know I can't, Fujin."
"HAPPY. OUT." Fujin nodded firmly, then shoved Raijin towards the locker room door. She obviously wanted to talk to Seifer alone for a minute. Raijin shook his head and vanished through the doorway.
The tall blonde's cold green glare met the equally cold crimson glare of the shorter girl. "Fujin, I'd lose everything. I'll get cut from the team, lose my scholarship, get kicked out of home…I have no money, I have no job, and I'll have nothing if I lose what I got now!" He was ranting, and he knew it.
"But you're not happy." Fujin tilted her head and slapped Seifer's chest with surprising power. "You'll know inside when it's the right time to stop lying to everyone." With that she turned on her heel with a swirl of a much too short skirt and headed off towards the field and cheerleading practice.
Seifer slowly walked into the boys' lockers, his mind buzzing with opposing thoughts. Everything would collapse, but if he found a guy in that time, maybe it'd all be worth it. But he knew that coming out wouldn't make a boyfriend magically appear at his feet, much less a boyfriend who he was attracted to. He tried to forget it as the sight of Raijin's naked ass in a jockstrap met him as he walked in to the locker room. He slapped the exposed skin with his palm and smirked at the yip from Raijin. 'Heh…yeah, things will be fine.'
-*-
"I can't believe it! You didn't say a word in thirty minutes and she didn't even notice!?" One of Zell's blonde eyebrows was arched as he sipped his root beer float. He was hanging out with Squall at the ice cream shop down the street from Balamb High after school, and had just been told what happened at lunch.
Squall nodded as he stirred his oreo shake with a straw. "Uh huh. I don't even remember a single thing she said. Usually she stops and asks me my opinion."
"How annoying. Especially when you consider that you could have been talking with me instead." Zell smirked.
"Talking? More like watching you stuff yourself with hot dogs all lunch period." Squall rolled his eyes and sipped at his shake.
"Hey! Not through ALL of lunch." Zell growled a bit.
"Whatever."
"So. You wanted to tell her the real reason you're out of it. Which is because you want a boyfriend. Something I've heard a million times already." Zell smiled again.
"Whatever." Squall sighed. "Hey, do you know what other guys in school are…uh…"
"Gay. It's okay to say it Squall. Uh, I don't have the best gaydar either. I know of at least two other guys, and one more who's bi…" Zell looked thoughtful, then shook his head. "I sorta promised one guy I wouldn't tell anyone. He's even more closeted than you, which is insane. Anyways, I'm pretty sure Nida is gay and Irvine is bi."
"NIDA!? Holy Homo Hater Nida? The same Nida who edits the opinions section of the school paper and manages to always have some sort of gay bashing in every issue!? He's always talking down to somebody. He's an idiot! There's no way he could be!" Squall's gray eyes flashed angrily.
"Oh, he is. He's more in the closet than you and…er…the other guy I know combined. It's a defense mechanism. If he acts phobic, there's no way anyone will find out who he really is. And, there's no way his worst fear will become a reality."
"Which is?"
"A guy approaching him, of course." Zell nodded firmly.
"Wait…how do YOU know?"
Zell blinked. "Uuuuuhm…."
Squall leaned forward, an unbelieving look still on his face. "Did…you…do…something with him?"
Zell put down his glass and shook his head. "Not even. Well, what happened was that I was going to go and bash him for that article against same sex dancing at the prom. So, Quistis tells me that Nida's in room 103. You know, that really tiny computer lab with the ancient PCs that still have Windows 95. And he's all alone, which means I could punch him out without any witnesses, which is always a plus. So, I walk into the room and…guess what he's doing?"
"Writing Gundam Wing yaoi under his pseudonym of "Shinigamilover2000, of course."
Zell shot Squall a dirty look. "He was jacking off. He was in some yahoo group and had the pics there on slideshow. I was there in the doorway, all quiet, and he hadn't noticed me. Nida's actually quite built, got a lot of definition…and he's hung. Anyways, he came all over, gazing at this naked tanned bleached-blonde surfer dude posing on a surfboard. Right after that I walked in and slammed the door. He jumped like ten feet in the air and stared at me like he was at gunpoint! That boy was SO scared! He almost fainted. Anyways, he totally freaked out."
-*flashback*-
"You…you can't tell anyone!" Nida hastily zipped up his pants and fixed his t-shirt to cover his crotch area. "No one can know, ever! My parents would KILL ME!"
"Just because you're gay? Man, Nida…it's really not that big a deal." Zell was conveniently forgetting his own mother's reaction to his coming out.
"You don't know my parents! Zell, don't you know the reason why I write all those things for the paper?" Nida's voice rose higher with desperation.
"Because you believe them?" Zell didn't understand how anyone could write such horrible things about people like themselves.
"Well, kind of. Mostly it's because…well, my parents are very anti-homosexual. To the most extreme conservative right wing. I can't let anyone know what I am…not even myself." Nida rubbed at his eyes angrily, stuffing newsclippings and folders into his backpack.
"Nida, babe, you're ranting." Zell tried to put a reassuring hand on Nida's shoulder, but the other boy brushed him off roughly. "Nida…"
"Stay off of me! The last thing I need is to meet a nice gay guy! Can't you see that I need hatred, Zell? If I have love…then…my life will fall apart, and my parents' lives will too." He scrambled to his feet and grabbed his backpack, his dark eyes shadowed. "Promise me, please…from…one boy who likes boys to another…don't out me."
Zell sighed, realizing the boy was still freaking out. "Alright…any exceptions?"
"You can tell Squall. He won't tell anyone. And…I like him." Nida almost smiled and nodded at Zell as he slung his backpack over his shoulder and vanished through the doorway.
-*end flashback*-
"NIDA likes ME!? Whoa. But I don't like him at all!" Squall shook his head in disbelief.
"You don't have to like him. I don't even like him." Zell wrinkled his nose as he stood up and rubbed his bare arms. He was getting goosebumps from the ice cream.
"Man, he's really messed up. I have to concentrate on my own problems though." Squall got up as well and wrapped his arms around Zell, giving the boy a brief but strong hug, savoring the warmth of their bodies pressed together. "Zell, you're a great friend. Thanks."
"Anytime, dude." Zell wrapped an arm around Squall's shoulders as the two walked out.
"What do you think would happen if Rinoa saw us together?" Squall grinned as he thought of the various reactions the girl might have.
"She'd flip. Especially if we were being normally friendly. Like this." He leaned over and kissed Squall's cheek softly, then smiled. "She'd be like, 'Ewwwwww!'"
Squall nodded and laughed quietly. "She's been my best friend for so long, but…I don't know how for much longer, with her making hater comments all the time." He sighed softly and squeezed Zell's hand firmly. "Promise me you'll never turn evil on me."
Zell went bug-eyed and shook his head violently. "Never!" The two boys both laughed and walked down the street towards Zell's house, standing much too close than most people would, but more comfortable than most people as well.
-*-
"Captain Fujin!" The ever bouncy Selphie Tilmitt, a sunny smile plastered on her face, ran up to the cheerleading captain, who had already changed into blue jeans and a plain gray t-shirt. "Are you waiting for Seifer and Raijin again?" At Fujin's nod, she smiled wider. "Oh, good! I wanted to invite the three of you out for a burger afterwards! The boys will be hungry, and I'm famished from all those…"
"NO." Fujin tapped at the concrete of the bleachers, obviously wishing the two males would hurry up and finish practice already.
"But why not? It'll be fun! I'll even pay! Trust me, this place has really yummy food." Selphie stepped closer to Fujin, her green eyes practically glittering with good will. "Pleeease?"
"Begging is for losers." At the sight of a very sweaty Raijin in a tattered practice uniform walking up, she promptly turned her attention to him. "Done?"
Raijin shook his head as he swiped at his forehead, sweat flying to the grass beneath. "Nope. We've all still got to shower, ya know? Just had to tell you that." With a good natured grin he waved to Selphie then trotted off towards the rest of team, heading to the showers.
"Are you two going out?" Selphie squinted her eyes as she watched Raijin head off. "Or maybe you and Seifer, as cliché as that would be." She shifted her gaze to Seifer, who was just beginning to come in from the field. A small giggle escaped her lips as she gazed upon the blonde in his cut-off jersey, hardened rippled stomach showing for the world to see.
"NO." Fujin shook her head firmly. "Just friends."
"Maybe I'll ask him out." Selphie teased, but still looked thoughtful, as if she may very well do it.
Fujin shrugged. "Don't care."
Selphie pouted. "How did you get to be the captain of the cheerleading squad anyways? You're mean! And you barely talk."
Fujin narrowed her crimson glare, Selphie striking a nerve. "I'm captain because I did the best at tryouts. I don't talk a lot because there's no need for me to. Breaking the cheerleader stereotypes is one of my goals. The other is for our squad to win every single contest we're in, and for us to motivate the crowds and football team up to the championship." With that she headed off towards the vending machines, leaving a rather shocked Selphie standing there alone.
"Wow." Selphie shook herself out of her daze, brushing the short skirt of her uniform absently. "Well, there's more than one way to get what I want. I'll go ask Raijin out right now! And Fujin and Seifer are gonna come with us, to my favorite hamburger shop!" At the thought of the amount of sweat pouring off Raijin, she reconsidered. "After the boys are done cleaning up, of course." She ran off towards the girls' lockers to change out of her uniform and put away her pompoms. 'And I have to fix my hair and makeup too. Fujin makes us sweat almost as much as the guys with those routines!'