i don't think you're cute, i just want your calculator
Alfons patted his trouser pockets, frowning. He stuck his hand into one, fingers searching, then checked his sleeve cuffs for good measure. You never knew!
He rubbed the back of his neck with his left hand, using the right to rummage through a grungy-looking pile of papers, covered in equations too big even for his education and doodles of strange swirling circles - the kind of thing one might see inked on some foreign sailor's arm.
"Edward," he said loudly while scanning his companion's notes, leaning in to get a better look at the intricate curls that made up one particularly hypnotic array. "Edward, have you seen my tissue paper?"
A muffled sentence came from the other room, and Alfons sighed, straightening up and pacing across the wooden floor. He pushed the door open with his foot, leaning on the frame. "Have you seen my pack of tissue anywhere, Edward?"
Edward Elric, a pretty little thing with angry yellow eyes and fleshy latex limbs, was in about the same state of sanity as he'd ever be. He was drawing more of those circles in a notebook, making little marks along the edge of his pant leg every now and then. Okay, so he had his hobbies in between being a mad genius, avoiding human contact at all costs, and working on the rocket, but he could at least try not to behave like a vagrant or something in the privacy of their own home. The only part of him that looked like it had been groomed in the past three days was his voluminous golden hair, and even Alfons couldn't tell if the sheen might not be pure grease.
But, as always, Edward Prosthetic-Armed Elric couldn't be anything but a smartass, cleanliness or no cleanliness. "Haven't seen it," he said beneath an accent, hardly looking up. "Find something else to wipe your butt with. There's a pile of old newspaper by the stairs."
"Ha ha," Alfons said, rolling his eyes. "Very funny. It's padding for the rockets we're setting off later." He sighed, crossing his arms and sinking deeper against the doorframe. "Sure you don't wanna come? Bet the kids'll scream if you take off your leg." He pretended to lean over and sniff at Edward's shoulder, making a face that the alchemist couldn't see anyway. "At the very least, get up and take a shower."
"I'll pass on the circus act," Edward replied, obviously in a no-humor zone for the day. After another groan from Alfons, he did stand up, however grudgingly, and agree to clean up. "And stop that," he said crossly as Alfons pinched the bridge of his nose and pretended to pass out at the steps.
Alfons laughed. Even with a stick-in-the-mud roommate, nothing could dampen his humor on a rocket-setting day.
Oh. Shoot. The rockets.
He went back to checking under books and between clothes lying limply about their rooms. Had to find the padding before Edward was finished cleaning up. Maybe if he saw the rocket, how nice it looked, he'd say yes and come to the launch. Alfons would like that. He'd like that a lot.