The words in Italics are flashbacks
- It's been a long time since I came around. Been a long time but I'm back in town
Kurt put down his heavy suitcase and slammed the trunk of the cab shut. His boots sank into the fresh snow and he cursed loudly, lifting his suitcase and starting to make his way up the driveway towards the porch that Carole had decorated with dozen of multicolored lights, snowmen, reindeers and elves.
He heard the cab driving away just before the front door was pulled open and Burt walked out with a smile on his face. "Kurt! Finally!" He pulled his son into a tight embrace, squashing Kurt's suitcase between them.
"Dad, Dad, I can't breath," Kurt protested, but his arms were still tightly wounded around his father. He hid his face against Burt's neck and took a deep breath of the familiar scent of beer, car grease and cheap cologne.
Burt pulled away but kept his hands on Kurt's shoulders taking him in. His eyes scanned him quickly, trying to see if Kurt was taking good care of himself. Finally, he smiled and nodded and took Kurt's suitcase before sliding his arm around Kurt's neck to stir him inside. "It's been so long, son."
"I've been busy, you know," Kurt offered the old answer to the old argument.
Before Burt could start one of his long speeches about work not being everything, Carole came out from the kitchen and hugged Kurt in that way only a mother could do.
"Hey, Carole," Kurt said smiling once he was released.
"You look great, Kurt. I told your dad that you could look after yourself." Carole smiled warmly and winked at him. Kurt knew that his father was always worrying about him and Finn, but knowing that Carole was there to ease Burt's concerns was reassuring.
Kurt looked around the tacky decorated house, the garlands hanging on the staircase, the Christmas tree in the living room, the stockings on the fireplace, and a smile broke on his face. It had been two years since the last time he had come to visit, he was busy with his fashion line and charity events and parties, and he had ended up spending the last two Christmas alone in his New York apartment.
He turned around and hugged his father and Carole again and then asked about Finn. He noticed how Carole darted a quick glance to his dad and how Burt adjusted his baseball cap like he always did when nervous.
"What?" Kurt asked, an uncertain smile on his face. "What's going on?"
"Finn is in Columbus, at the airport," Carole added after a brief pause.
"Is Rachel coming, too? She could have called and we would have taken a flight together." Kurt sat down on the couch and started undoing the strings of his knee length boots, missing the look of concern that his parents shared. "How long is she staying?"
"Kurt, honey, Rachel is not coming," Carole said quietly. She looked at Burt silently beckoning him to explain.
"Then what is he doing at the airport?" Kurt asked distracted. He pulled one boot off and started working on the other, mentally cursing his decision to wear them in the first place. They were great for fashion, but they were uncomfortable and he could barely feel his fingers.
"He's picking up Puckerman," Burt blurted out. He saw Kurt still his movements and waited for his son to start demanding what they were thinking they were doing. He was surprised when all Kurt did was whisper a quiet, "Oh," before sliding his second boot off.
"Noah comes back every year for Hanukkah but this year his family is away so we invited him over even though he doesn't celebrate Christmas."
Kurt nodded, glad that he had his back turned to his parents so they couldn't see his hands clenching into fists or the pained look on his face "Okay," he murmured, before getting up from the couch. "I'm going to take my things upstairs. When... when are they arriving?" He cleared his throat when he heard his voice wavering.
"It shouldn't take them long," Carole said, sighing at the expression on Kurt's face. She wanted to cross the room and hug him but she knew him well enough to know that in that moment that was not what he needed.
Kurt nodded again, picked up his boots in one hand and the handle of his suitcase in the other and made his way upstairs. His room, the second on the right, was still just like he had left it when he had left for college, and in that moment, Kurt felt like tearing down all his posters and throw away his CDs and the pictures hanging on the wall. He closed the door with his foot and dragged the suitcase to the closet and left it there before walking over to the bed to throw himself down.
He stared up at the ceiling and tried to stop his mind from wandering to a certain boy he had tried to forget for the last two years.
- You taste like whiskey when you kiss me, oh
Even after a year, Rachel's skills at hosting parties left a lot to be desired. She tried to keep the alcohol away because last time had been a bit of a train-wreck with Finn, Kurt and Blaine, but it turned out that at eighteen, karaoke and wine coolers were less funny than at seventeen.
She asked Puck to break into her fathers' liquor cabinet when Quinn said that it was time to go and Tina, Mike and Mercedes had all nodded in agreement. This time they skipped spin the bottle because Rachel had nothing to prove to Finn and because no one wanted to risk having to kiss Brittany in front of Santana.
They ended up dividing into groups and drinking together, Quinn with Santana and Brittany, Rachel with Kurt, Blaine, Finn and Puck, and Tina, Mercedes, Mike and Sam in another corner. Kurt had never been good at holding his alcohol, it was why he was always the designed driver, so he had refused the red cup Blaine had offered him and told Finn to drink since he wasn't going to.
A few minutes later, when Rachel and Finn started making out and Blaine started dancing to a song that definitely wasn't the one playing, Kurt decided that being sober sucked. He felt Puck nudge him with his shoulder and turned around to find him smirking.
"Are you sure you don't want anything?"
Kurt shook his head but smiled. "Someone needs to keep control." His eyes fell to Puck's cup where dark liquid was swinging around. "What are you drinking?"
"Wiskey," Puck lifted the cup under Kurt's nose and smiled of that dopey smile of his. "Do you want a taste?"
The strong smell of the spirit assaulted Kurt's nostrils making his shook his head and lean away from the cup. "That smells awful."
Puck rolled his eyes but didn't make any joke about Kurt being a girl like he would have if Finn was in Kurt's place. They had been around each other enough that Kurt knew most of the time what Puck would do, and Puck surprised him from time to time saying things like that the girls bathroom smelled better so he used that one, or that they should totally do a cover of Jonas Brothers or that Lady Gaga wasn't really that bad.
They had been friendly enough already when Puck had joined glee club three years before, but now that Finn was living with Kurt, every time Puck wanted to see Finn he had to see Kurt and being around each other outside of school had changed lots of things.
"I'm going to find some water," Kurt said, getting up to his feet and wiping invisible dust off the back of his jeans. He didn't wait to see if Puck had heard him. He made his way upstairs crossing the living room and heading for the kitchen.
As much as Rachel's bedroom was tacky and gave Kurt a headache every time he went there, the rest of the Berry's house was tastefully decorated. The kitchen had a big marble counter and a wooden dining table, and a shiny big fridge next to the stove.
He walked over to the fridge and retrieved a bottle of water and when he turned around, he found Puck standing behind him. He yelped and jumped back and his back hit the edge of the counter. "Damn," he swore and felt Puck's hands closing around his arms to steady him.
"Sorry, I didn't want to scare you."
"It's alright." Kurt massaged his back sure that there was going to be a bruise in a few hours. "What are you doing up here?" He asked, noticing the way Puck was staring at him.
They were still standing closer than normal, the point of their shoes touching and one of Puck's hand still around his arm.
Puck didn't answer. He took a deep breath like Kurt had seen him doing before picking up Beth, a gesture Kurt had started to associate with Puck being nervous. He searched Puck's eyes for an answer, but Puck just stood there, looking determined, his brow knitting in concentration.
"Puck?"
And then Puck finally did something. He took a step forward and his eyes fell down to Kurt's parted lips for a moment and then darted back up to Kurt's eyes searching for a sign that he had to stop, that Kurt was freaking out, but all he saw was Kurt staring at him with open curiosity. He gulped loudly and then leaned forward, his lips connecting briefly with Kurt before he pulled back and looked at him again.
Puck waited to be slapped or for Kurt to run away but all Kurt did was blink slowly and the bottle of water he was holding fell down on the floor. And Puck leaned in again, this time his lips more firm against Kurt. He took a step forward, the hand he still had around Kurt's arm sliding up until he was cupping Kurt's face in his hands just as Kurt's arms tentatively wrapped around his waist.
Kurt felt Puck's tongue licking his bottom lip and he opened his mouth, the taste of wiskey suddenly invading him. He tightened his hold around Puck and wondered if they had been building up to this moment for the last year.
#
Kurt closed his locker and tried to keep up with Rachel who was talking a mile a minute about how great the party was and Blaine making out with Brittany and 'where did you disappear to?' but his mind was still focused on that kiss shared with Puck in the kitchen, and how Puck had smiled at him before going back downstairs.
"Kurt, are you even listening to me?" Rachel's irritated voice pulled him out of his thoughts and Kurt nodded.
"Yes, Rachel."
She started talking again as if she had never interrupted herself but Kurt was saved by a hand closing around his wrist and tagging him away. He looked up finding Puck smiling at him while dragging him towards one of the empty classrooms.
"What are you doing?" Kurt asked, glancing over his shoulder to see if anyone was watching them. He saw Rachel stop walking and turning around, her eyes narrowing when they settled on them. "Rachel just saw us."
"Doesn't matter." Puck pulled him into the Spanish classroom and closed the door. He looked at Kurt with his trademark smirk and a little bit of apprehension. "I wasn't that drunk last night. I know what I did."
"Good," Kurt said because he had no idea what he was supposed to answer to that.
They stood in silence for a moment, Kurt raising an eyebrow silently asking what they were doing there. But before he could voice his questions, Puck took a step forward and said, "So, I tried this relationship thing a few times and I was always dumped so I probably suck, and we are going to fight and you are going to regret it. But I want you and not just in empty classrooms or Rachel's kitchen but down the halls and at dinner with your family." Puck paused and grinned, slipping back into his false bravado. "I didn't care about people's opinion when I was with Lauren, and I'm not going to care this time."
Kurt was sure he couldn't have refused for anything in the world.
#
The hot water of the shower felt like heaven against his shoulders. After being on a plane and then driving to Lima, he was feeling tired. He wanted nothing more than to just finish his shower and crawl into his bed. The last thing he wanted, was having to face Puck especially in front of his family. He wondered what Puck had been doing for the last couple of years, if he was seeing anyone, if maybe he had gotten married even though they were still young.
He wondered if seeing him again was going to have any effect on Puck or if after all this time, Puck was now completely indifferent.
Kurt heard the front door slam shut and Finn's loud voice announcing, "WE ARE HERE!" He shut off the shower and squeezed his eyes shut. Two years later and he was still in love, he could still remember and feel everything as if time had never passed. He wanted to find whoever had said that time heals all wounds, and punch him in the face.
He stepped out of the shower and dried himself off deliberately moving slowly to buy himself some time. He could hear Finn's voice and Carole's laughter and he started singing to drown out the noise. He pulled on a pair of black jeans, a red shirt and a white cardigan and slid his feet in his slippers before putting away the dirty clothes and towels in the hamper. He tied up the bathroom and then looked at himself in the mirror. He leaned closer and inspected his face as if he could have wrinkles at twenty four. He styled his hair and then finally admitted that he had to go downstairs and face his past.
Kurt could hear his father's voice coming from the living room. "You are doing great. This town didn't have anyone famous and now there's you and Kurt."
There was silence after that and Kurt stepped into the living room with a smile on his face that even he knew looked fake. His eyes fell on Puck right away and took in all the changes, the shaved head, the darker skin, the broader shoulders and the eyes looking back at him with disinterest. He told himself that this was exactly what he wanted and made himself say, "Hey, Puck."
He ignored Burt and Carole's gazes on him and made his way towards Finn who stood up and pulled him into a tight embrace. "Hey, Kurt."
"Hi, Finn."
They pulled away and Finn dragged Kurt on the couch next to him making Kurt sit between him and Puck.
Kurt was painfully aware of the thigh pressing against his or how tense Puck felt next to him. He tried to come up with something to say but ended up staring down at the floor while Burt kept asking Puck about how was Los Angeles.
"I'm starting my first big tour on February and I told my manager that I wanted to come here too." Puck laughed, deep and rich. "He said I was crazy but I have to do it, you know?"
"Of course," Carole agreed.
Kurt wasn't really listening because Puck's hand brushed against his and he thought back about the summer of their senior year and lying on that same couch while Sesame Street was playing on television.
- Sit back down on the couch where we made love the first time
"Can you believe that they are getting married?" Kurt asked, his eyes fixed on the television where Bert and Ernie were celebrating their marriage.
"I can't believe that we are eighteen and watching this stuff," Puck joked, his hand running lazily up and down Kurt's back who was lying on top of him.
"Shut up, this is important." Kurt reached back with his hand and found Puck's making him raise it enough so he could thread their fingers together.
They had spent almost every afternoon like that ever since they had got together. Every time Finn didn't have Rachel over, Puck and Kurt would lie down on the couch and watch TV until Burt came back home and cleared his throat loudly while smiling amused. Kurt was sure that Burt would never have liked someone like Puck as his son's boyfriend but it turned out to be the opposite.
"You think they will show them having kids?" Kurt asked, pulling himself up on his elbows and looking down at Puck. "That would mean a lot too."
Puck shrugged and his hands stopped their wandering, settling in Kurt's back pockets. "Who knows? Maybe."
Kurt smiled softly at him and then leaned down, kissing Puck softly at first and then with more passion when he felt Puck open his legs so he could settle between them. He let his hands travel across Puck's chest, fisting his worn out t-shirt when Puck's hands squeezed his ass.
"Okay, we have to stop," Puck said, pulling away from Kurt's lips and taking a deep breath. A deep moan escaped him when Kurt started sucking on his neck. "Kurt..." His hands slipped out of Kurt's pockets and slid under Kurt's shirt. Puck could feel the muscles shifting under his hands as Kurt slowly thrust against him. "Kurt," he repeated and felt Kurt's lips curve into a grin against his skin.
"Do you really want to stop?" Kurt asked, his voice was low and husky and when he looked up, Puck could see his eyes darker than usual, in a shade of blue he had become familiar with in the last few months.
Puck shook his head because he had been ready for a long time waiting for Kurt to feel like the moment was right before they could take that new step and if Kurt was ready, Puck was pretty sure he couldn't have stopped it from happening if his life depended on it.
"No," he murmured and Kurt kissed him again while his hands grabbed the hem of his t-shirt.
#
"Kurt?"
Kurt looked up startled and found Carole staring at him with concern. "Are you alright?"
"Yeah, just a bit tired. I think I'm going to skip dinner and just go to sleep." He got up from the couch and kissed his father goodnight before making his way upstairs.
- It's been two years since I let you go, I couldn't listen to a joke or rock 'n roll. Muscle cars drove a truck right through my heart
Around midnight the house was finally silent and Kurt tossed and turned in bed. When his stomach growled, he finally gave up on trying to sleep and made his way downstairs. He felt stupid stopping every few steps to check if anyone was coming but he couldn't help it. He glanced towards the door of Finn's room where he knew Puck would be sleeping and sighed heavily. When he left New York, all he wanted was to finally spend some time home with his family but now that Puck was there, everything felt so complicated.
He went into the kitchen and opened the fridge finding some leftovers from the dinner. He took them out and heated up the turkey. He pulled himself up on the counter and waited for the microwave to ring. He was so engrossed in his thoughts that he didn't hear anyone coming down until he heard a soft, "Hey."
When he looked up, Puck was standing in the doorway wearing flannel pajamas that made him think of cold nights in a shitty apartment in New York.
"Hi," he greeted back, feeling uncomfortable.
Puck stared at him for a moment before walking over to the table, pulling out a chair and sitting down.
The microwave rang and Kurt jumped down from the counter. He could feel Puck's eyes following him while he took the plate out and then retrieved a bottle of water from the fridge.
Kurt turned around and debated for a moment whether he should just bring his plate up to his room or try and talk with Puck. Puck's question took the matter out of his hands.
"How are you?"
"Good." He sat down at the table across from Puck and kept his gaze fixed on his turkey sandwich. "I have a new line and..."
"I know," Puck cut him off. "I've read about you and sometimes I ask Rachel or Finn."
"Oh." Kurt took a bite of his food and chewed slowly feeling a complete stupid because he had no idea what was going on in Puck's life. Whenever a rock song came on the radio, he changed station, he had stopped listening to the rock'n'roll albums Puck had left at his place because everything reminded him of Puck. He hadn't listened to one of Puck's songs in the last two years and every time he saw a muscle car down the street, he couldn't help but think back to that horrible car Puck had bought on their second year in New York.
Puck cleared his throat and ran a hand over his head. "Did you hear any of my songs?"
Kurt shifted in his seat and shook his head. When he glanced at Puck, he saw the hurt look cross his face and cursed himself. "I..."
"It's okay." Puck got up from the table and walked out of the kitchen. Kurt thought about asking him to stay, but the words never came out.
"What the hell happened between you two?"
Finn was shoveling the driveway while Kurt sat on the stairs of the porch. He had told his father that he was going to keep Finn company but the truth was that Puck was inside watching TV with Burt and Kurt had no wish to share the room with him. Ever since they had had that brief talk in the kitchen a few days earlier, they were always trying to avoid being in the same room unless they had to during meals.
"You left for New York together and then two years later, Puck goes off to Los Angeles." Finn plunged the shovel in the snow and looked at his brother. "When was the last time you two talked?"
"Two years ago," Kurt answered automatically. He looked away from Finn's bewildered glance. He already had Rachel reminding him of what a fool he had been, he didn't need his brother getting on his case too. "We decided to part our ways and I've never been to Los Angeles so I don't see how we could have seen each other again."
"If you had bothered to come home the last couple of Christmas."
"Finn, cut it off, alright?" Kurt got up from the cold wood of the porch and walked inside the house before Finn could ask anything else. He was so riled up that he didn't pay attention to where he was going and so ended up running into someone. He knocked his head against Puck's and swayed backwards. "Fuck," he swore, rubbing his forehead.
"You should watch where you go," Puck told him in a cold tone, but his hands were still around Kurt's biceps to keep him upright.
"Sorry." Kurt pulled himself away and ran up the stairs but he was still able to hear Puck cursing and kicking the wall.
- On my birthday you sang me A Heart of Gold with a guitar humming and no clothes
Kurt's 21st birthday was the first one he didn't spend with his father. He was stuck in New York because of finals and he spent the day with Rachel and Puck, having dinner together before Puck told Rachel to go back home because after dinner it was up to him to keep Kurt entertained.
They made love on the secondhand couch in their tiny living room and then again in their bedroom. Afterwards, Kurt got in the kitchen to get a slice of the cake Rachel had baked for him and when he walked back in their room, he found Puck sitting cross-legged at the center of the bed, holding his guitar in his lap. He grinned at Kurt and then started singing.
"I want to live, I want to give. I've been a miner for a heart of gold."
Kurt shook his head smiling. No matter how many times he had thought about his future, the thought of Noah Puckerman singing to him naked on the day of his birth, had never crossed his mind. He put the cake down on the nightstand and crawled across the bed. He pulled the guitar out of Puck's hands and straddled his lap.
- It's been two years since I let you go
Kurt could still remember when things had stopped working. They were starting their third year of college when Puck got the first positive response to one of his demos. He had only sent one demo to Los Angeles, to a little independent label, he said that LA was too far away and he was just doing it to taste his luck but that nothing was ever going to come out of it.
Three months later he got a phone call telling him that they were waiting for him in Los Angeles. It was the only label that had showed interest and Kurt wasn't going to let him waste that chance. The first day Puck spent in LA was so great he didn't call Kurt and when he did finally call, it was to say that they wanted him to stay a month.
The month had turned into two, then three, by the time spring break came around, Kurt had let him go. Rachel had called him a fool almost every day after that but then she got swept away from Broadway and he from his internships.
"Kurt?"
He looked away from his magazine to find Carole smiling at him from the doorway of his room. "Can I come in?"
Kurt nodded and Carole walked inside sitting down next to him on the bed. "You are leaving in a few days, right?"
"I have to get back by the fourth," he said. Christmas break had passed away quickly and as much as he had been looking forward to go back to his apartment the moment he had seen Puck, now that his last day was nearing, he wanted more time.
"Noah is leaving in two days," Carole told him, her eyes completely focused on him. "Did you two have a chance to talk?"
"Yes but there's not much to talk about." Kurt got up an walked over to the desk starting to rearrange his products. "It's been two years, we have both moved on and..."
"You never had a boyfriend, Kurt."
"I'm very busy. You don't get so successful at my age without working for it," he shrugged and then added, "I had to sacrifice something, I needed to focus."
Carole shook her head and got up. He walked over to Kurt and put her hands on his shoulders looking at him through the mirror. "Kurt, I don't believe that for a moment but Noah probably does. You're both older now, maybe you should talk." She squeezed his shoulders and left a kiss against his temple before walking out.
Kurt sighed heavily and sat down on the edge of the bed.
"Is that true?"
He turned around startled finding Puck glaring at him. "What?"
"What you told Carole. Did you dump me because you needed to focus?"
For one brief second, Kurt thought about lying, but then he remembered Puck's words that day in Mr. Schue's classroom, "I was always dumped so I probably suck, and we are going to fight and you are going to regret it" and shook his head.
"I wanted you to stay in Los Angeles and I knew I couldn't give up New York and I couldn't ask you to have a long distance relationship, it would have been selfish."
Puck's hands closed into tight fists and his eyes narrowed. "What the hell, Kurt? You think that taking the decision on your own wasn't selfish?" He shook his head and took a deep breath. He reminded himself that he wasn't anymore the angry kid he had been in high school, that he had actually started facing things. "If you had bothered to listen to my music..."
"That was exactly why," Kurt cut him off. "It would have been about us and I didn't want to think about us." He watched Puck stepping closer and instinctively backed away. "What are you doing?"
"You always go for these stupid big scenes. Couldn't you have fucking talked to me? Dammit, Kurt."
Puck stared at him, and then shook his head and left. Whatever Kurt had thought was going to happen to them when they had started dating, that was not it.
- This time I'm not leaving without you (Something, something about the chase. Six whole years.)
Puck closed his suitcase and sat down heavily on the bed. His flight was in just a few hours and this time he knew that if he left without Kurt, that was going to be it, no more chances. He asked himself if he was alright with chasing after Kurt again. After six years, they were back to square one; he wanted Kurt and Kurt wasn't going to make the first move.
He had no doubts that it was worth it, that Kurt was worth it, and he wasn't a kid anymore, his pride wasn't the only thing that mattered and he had learned that sometimes you have to take a chance. He had swallowed his pride and made the first move once already and he could do it again.
"Man, are you ready?"
Puck looked up and saw Finn standing in the doorway. He nodded and got up. "I have to talk to Kurt."
Finn smiled. "He's moping down in the living room," he said.
Puck smiled in thanks and went downstairs finding Kurt lying on their couch watching an old rerun of Sesame Street.
"Are you still watching that?"
Kurt's eyes quickly focused on Puck and then he shrugged. "I like it."
"I know."
Puck walked over to the couch and sat down, picking up Kurt's feet and putting them in his lap in a familiar gesture. "What you did was stupid."
"I know," Kurt murmured. He pulled himself up so he was sitting, his legs still across Puck's thighs. "I'm sorry. I was trying to do what was best for us."
Puck shook his head. "I still love you," he said determined and Kurt wondered if he had spent days cursing it like he had done.
"Noah..."
"Listen, what you did was wrong and I can't believe that it was you who took the easy way out. I was sure that I was going to be the one screwing things up but it was you."
"I'm sorry, okay?"
Puck sighed and looked straight at Kurt. "I want to try again, Kurt, and I don't care about you living in New York and me living in LA. We can manage, we won't be the first people to do it."
"What if you meet someone and..."
"Kurt, it's been two years. How many boyfriends did you have?"
Kurt shrugged. "I was busy," he lied, and knew perfectly well that Puck would see right through him.
"Well, I went back to sleeping around at first because I kind of hated you." He gripped Kurt's legs tighter when he felt the man trying to get up. "Then I just started writing more music. This time we have to make this thing right, we are going to fuck up just like anyone else, but I don't care. No matter what, you don't run away."
Kurt didn't say anything for long moments, he felt hope and happiness surging inside him. "You forgive me?" He finally asked quietly.
Puck sighed and rolled his eyes before nodding. "I wouldn't be here rubbing your feet otherwise."
Kurt couldn't fight off the smile that broke on his face. He scooted closer to Puck and looked right into his eyes. "I still love you too," he murmured and then raised his hand, cupping Puck's cheek. He hesitated for a moment before closing the gap between them and kissing the boy he loved for the first time in two years. He felt Puck's hands slid up his legs and coming to rest on his hips and he pulled back.
"I can take a few more days off," Puck said, "and there are labels in New York too, you know."
"There are designers in Los Angeles too but I can't move, not right now anyway."
Puck's thumbs rubbed comforting circles in Kurt's hips. "It doesn't matter, we will figure something out. But this time I'm not leaving without you."
"Come to New York with me, then?"
Puck nodded and kissed him again. They were going to be okay.
The End