Title: Behind The Scenes, Act I
Author: dietcokechic
Season: Season 5
Rating: PG-13/R for language.
Category: Humor. Serious humor.
Summary: A short series of vignettes told from some unlikely observers of SG-1.
Spoilers: 216- A Matter of Time, 317- A Hundred Days, 403- Upgrades
Author's Notes: Apparently I have a penchant for looking at our favorite guys
through the eyes of observers (Daniel's Barista) or dealing with everyday "simple"
earth situations (Buying a house in Imbroglio). Lol. Does this make me a voyeur??
I just think there are oodles of Stargate stories out there written solely for and about
SG-1 and I like the idea of being a little different.
I can't quite recall exactly when the idea for this hit me, but it was sometime during
my trip to Europe last fall to attend an SG-con in France. Louise, Kath and Lucy all
heard various versions of this idea of mine (and believe me, there are LOADS of
different scenarios!), and all encouraged me to get it down on paper. The idea here
is to write four completely different vignettes from the point of view of individuals
you just might not think about. The first one will center on Jack, the second a
person I bet you never considered with regards to Sam, the third an obvious choice
for Daniel (Thank you Julia!) and the last a very, very comical look at Teal'c. Sort of.
Act 1 is for Louise.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Act I – The Colonel Returns
"Hey George, he's back." Frankie yelled back to his partner as he heaved up another
plastic garbage can and emptied it into the back of the truck.
"You mean, the Colonel?" George replied from the relative warmth of the cab. It
was a week before Christmas and damn cold out.
"Yep." Frankie said eyeing the two burgeoning trashcans and Glad© plastic bags at
the end of the block.
"It's been a while this time, huh?" George said musing aloud.
"Couple of weeks." Frankie confirmed as he finished up with one last bag and
jumped onto the side of the garbage truck. He hit the side of the truck twice to
indicate he was ready to move. Slowly the truck drove down a few driveways and
stopped.
Closer to the Colonel's now, George could sure enough see several overflowing
garbage cans and large plastic bags. Shaking his head in exasperation, George also
noticed three stacked bins full of recyclables.
"It's been god-knows how many years, and the guy still can't remember that
garbage day is different than recycle day!" George yelled out the window.
"You know he probably just does it all at once." Frankie replied squinting a little to
try and see what the Colonel left out this time. "You know, before he leaves again."
"I suppose." George said moving the truck another few feet forward.
He and Frankie had been driving the East Springs route for over four years now and
had been keeping an eye on "The Colonel" for well over three of those years. Like
most garbage guys, ("Sanitation Engineers" George told himself derisively) he and
Frank were damn good observers and had fun making up theories about various
houses along their route. The "weird guy at the end of the block" had become a
topic of conversation soon after they had started their route.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"I'm telling you Frank, the guy's just plain weird. I mean have you looked at the
truck oh his? We're talking serious bucks."
"So he's an eccentric rich guy living in the 'burbs. So what?"
"Don't you think that's odd?" George continued. "And what the hell does he do
anyway? I mean, he's gone for weeks at a time and then comes back and throws
out all his rotten food…"
"And orders pizza." Frank finished for him.
"I still say undercover Fed." George said with assurance as he sipped his beer.
"With that truck? Definitely not under cover." Frank said shaking his head. "What
about a crime lord or something?"
"Living in the suburbs of Colorado Springs?!" George said incredulously. "Right."
"Well, whoever he is, he's got expensive taste in whiskey." The pair was so deep in
conversation that they didn't even notice the two other men listening in at the bar.
"They've gotta be talking about the Colonel." Said the first one.
"Definitely." The second agreed.
"Excuse me?" George asked turning around to get a good luck at the interlopers.
Who the hell were these bozos? Wait a sec..
"Hey, I know you." His partner said beating George to the punch. "You guys work
the south side, right?"
"Yeah. I'm Hank and this is my partner John." Hank said reaching out his hand and
giving Frank and George a firm handshake. "Sorry to eavesdrop there, but you guys
have gotta be talking about the Colonel."
"What do you mean "The Colonel" Frank asked confused.
"The Colonel." John said agreeing with his partner. "That eccentric guy at the end
of the 17 route in East Springs."
"Well, that's the right area- but how do you know who the guy is?" Frank asked.
"We worked that route for two years before heading south." John explained.
"And I betcha we can clear up a lot of questions for you boys about the mysterious
guy at the end on '17." Hank moved his stool closer to the other two men.
"Hank, quit being a shit and just tell them!" John said shaking his head and slapping
his partner on the arm.
"Fine, fine." Hank said good-naturedly. "This is a good one fellas, but we might
need another round.."
"I got it." George said waiving a waitress over to their table. He ordered another
pitcher and an order of hot wings.
"And an O'Douls." John added.
"How can you drink that shit?" George said wrinkling his nose at the alcohol-free
beer.
"Beats o.d'ing." John said with a shrug. Hank only really gave him shit about his
lack of drinking when he himself was drunk- which wasn't all that often thankfully.
John had been in Narcotics Anonymous for 6 years now and although some guys
with substance abuse problems did drink alcohol, John didn't want to take the risk.
Not with a son in middle school and a baby girl on the way.
"Quit stalling," Hank said. "Tell us what you know of this mysterious "Colonel".
"Well first, you gotta understand that we don't normally go snooping through guys'
trash." Hank said warming up to the notion of storytelling.
"Of course not." George said rolling his eyes. "God, you south-end guys talk a lot!
Get on with it already!"
"Well, as you know, there's always a house or two on a circuit that is just weird
enough that you keep an eye on…"
"Oh yeah!" Frankie said laughing at the thought of Mr. O'Leary and his Victoria's
Secret boxes.
"Well, there was this one guy.."
"The Colonel." John added.
"Who we really wondered about." Hank finished.
"How so?" Frank asked curiosity getting the best of him.
"The dude was never home!" Hank said a little too loudly. Unlike his teetotaler
partner, he enjoyed a good beer. Or six.
"That sounds like our guy." George said agreeing. It was always a little creepy to
see that empty house for weeks at a time, followed by overflowing garbage cans and
recycling bins.
"But," Hank said continuing, "When he is home, we know it."
"Beer bottles?" Frank asked remembering the occasional stacks of glass bottles by
the garbage cans.
"Sometimes." John said nodding. "But every now and then there's whiskey."
"Or scotch." His partner said knowingly. "Really good, high end scotch."
"And beer. Lots and lots of beer bottles."
"But then there will be nothing…"
"Weeks of nothing but this empty rambler at the end of the block."
"But then the guy would come home.."
"And we'd see garbage."
"Lots of take out and pizza boxes."
"And beer. The guy liked his beer."
"Don't forget his mystery guest!"
"That's right!" John said remembering. "When Hank and I first started driving the
route, the Colonel had a house guest for a while."
"We saw them one day."
"The Colonel?" George asked.
"Yeah. And his boy toy." Hank said.
"What?!" Frankie said coughing up his beer.
"Ah, cut it out Hank." John said uncomfortably. "The guy's a vet for christ' sake."
"Don't ask, don't tell John." Hank said smugly.
"What?!" George said completely confused now. "Will you guys stop fooling around
and just tell us how you know who the hell he is?"
"All right." Hank said putting down his nearly empty beer glass and looking first at
Frank and then George. "It happened almost 5 years ago." Hank said in a stage
whisper.
"Dark and stormy night, right?" Frankie said with a laugh, trying to ease the
tension.
"Moron." His partner said giving him a shove. "We pick up between 4 and 8 AM."
"*Anyway*," Hank said continuing. "It was fucking cold out and the guy appeared
to be out again.."
"No truck." John added.
"But, he'd obviously remembered it was trash day, as he'd thrown out several bags
worth of trash."
"But he hadn't sealed them that well.." John said picking up the story thread.
"Some dogs or something had gotten into the bags and scattered garbage across the
road."
"Hate it when that shit happens." George said shaking his head.
"Now normally, we'd just leave it.."
"Let the suburbanites and their kiddies pick up the trash…"
"BUT, we had no idea when this guy would be back and we didn't want our
supervisor to be called with complaints from the neighbors."
"Lazy little shits." Hank added pouring himself another beer.
"So we decided to clean it up."
"And that's when we hit the mother-lode."
"You ain't kidding there." John said shaking his head. "I don't even want to think
about what I would have done with those had I been alone."
"What the hell are you talking about?" Frank said completely baffled by all of this.
"We found drugs." Hank said.
"Prescription drugs." John added with a knowing nod. "Really good, strong, high-
end prescription drugs."
"And apparently our guy barely touched them." Hank shook his head in disbelief.
"What sort of guy doesn't take pain killers? I mean obviously he must have been
really fucked-up, right?" George and Frank just nodded.
"He didn't take the drugs, but he did touch the whiskey." John added.
"Oh yeah." Hank said nodding. "The garbage might have contained several bottles
of Percocet, Demerol, and even that trendy anti-depressant stuff that was popular a
few years ago…"
"Prozac." John filled in.
"Right." Hank said. "All sorts of unopened drug bottles. But it was his recycling bins
that made us stand up and notice."
"Whiskey."
"And bourbon."
"Don't forget the scotch." John said remembering the scary number of empty bottles
sitting on the side of the driveway.
"There must have been over a dozen bottles in there. AND he had taken out both
his garbage and recycling three weeks earlier. So in a damn short period of time.."
"The Colonel must have gotten hit by a truck or something and then felt the need to
get very, very drunk."
"So spill it!" Frankie said not able to put a damper on his curiosity. "Who *is* this
guy?"
"According to his prescription bottles, the guy's name is Jack O'Neill; Colonel Jack
O'Neill- USAF."
"And he's a vet?" George asked.
"Yeah. After we found the bottles.."
"I was curious and had my kid do an Internet search on him."
"Decorated officer in the Gulf." Hank said grudgingly recognizing the Colonel's
service to his country.
"And he's listed at having received a bunch of medals in the 80's, although they
didn't say what for."
"He's a fucking hero apparently." Hank said finishing his fifth beer and contemplating
another.
"Wow." George said leaning back. This put a whole new spin on the mystery guy at
the end of the block.
"So what does he do?" Frankie asked.
"Not a fucking clue." Hank said lifting up a hand and ordering another round.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Since then, George and Frank had kept an eye out for their Colonel. They knew he
had been gone for several months back in early 2000. They had even caught sight of
what could only be the Colonel's "boy toy" a few times. After much discussion, it
was determined that he was definitely not the Colonel's lover. Nephew maybe. Or a
guy he worked with?
Both George and Frank were actually routing for the Colonel having a thing with that
pretty blonde lady that they saw pick him up one morning. George overhead a bit of
their conversation and was disappointed when he heard the Colonel call the woman
"Major". Frank insisted it was just some sort of kinky name calling thing, but George
was pretty certain the pair only worked together. After all, they had watched her
pull up *to* the house early in the morning, not leave it.
Later that summer, George and Frank "met" both boy toy and the Major as they
exited the Colonel's house together. Which of course led George to believe that it
was actually those two who were the couple and not she and the Colonel. Poor guy.
No wonder he drank so much! Apparently his best friend got the girl and all he got
was a couple bottles of whiskey!
But Frank quickly revised his hypothesis as the couple had been arguing (the good
natured, early morning, what the hell am I doing up kind) led Frank to believe that
they must be brother and sister. Looked a bit a like even. Their conversation on the
other hand made sense what so ever. Something about how this was all A-knee's
fault and that he (Boy Toy) hoped he could convince the owner to let them back into
O'Malleys. To which the woman (Sam) argued that they were all culpable and she
just wished the virus would dissipate already so they could get back to work. Major
Sam definitely had seen a college or two with all those expensive words she spoke!
Boy Toy (Daniel) went on to say that Jack had made the right call in having them all
spend the night. To which "Sam" had grumbled something about "That's because
*you* got to sleep on the bed!" Boy Toy (Daniel) had laughed and then politely said
good morning to both George and Frank before getting in the car with "Sam" and
driving off in search of coffee.
The pair had caught sight of the Colonel a half a dozen other times over the years,
usually as the Colonel was leaving and they were pulling up. He almost always wore
sunglasses (even when it was cloudy!) and baseball caps. And usually casual,
comfortable looking clothing. He might be an officer, but it certainly didn't look like
he was on active duty or anything.
Occasionally he would leave apologetic notes on his garbage saying, "Sorry there's
an extra bag this week." Considering that half of the time he didn't put out anything,
the guys didn't really fault the Colonel for putting out extra when he was home.
They sure wished he would remember to empty his fridge before he left though…
"Hey Frank!" George whispered as he watched the door open and a silver-haired
Colonel exit his home. He held two cups of steaming something in his hands. "Get
down here, the Colonel is coming out!"
Frank got out of the truck and watched puzzled as the Colonel made his way over to
the two men.
"Good morning." The Colonel said handing over two cups of hot coffee. "Thought
you might appreciate something warm."
"Thanks." George said accepting the hot liquid. He took a sip and sighed. "This is
good coffee!" The Colonel laughed.
"Yeah, a friend of mine insisted I stop using Folgers© and try something a little more
upscale."
"This is great Sir." Frank said taking his own sip.
"Sir?" The Colonel asked raising an eyebrow. Frank shrugged and immediately
came up with a perfect excuse. "I was in the National Guard." He explained. "You
have that officer look to you."
"Hmmph." The Colonel said running a hand through his rumpled hair. "Lucky
guess." The two men looked at him expectantly. Just what did this guy want?
"Here, these are for you." The Colonel said reaching into his pocket and pulling out
two envelopes.
"What's this for?" George asked holding out the envelope.
"You guys have been picking up after my sorry ass for four years now. I just wanted
to say thank you." He paused and shoved his hands into his pockets. "And wish you
a Merry Christmas." With that he gave them a small smile and headed back into the
house.
"Well who would have thunk it?" George mused as he stood in the early morning
sunshine sipping his coffee.
"Yeah." His partner said nodding.
"The Colonel really *does* have grey hair."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
More Authors' Notes: I haven't given up on Barista writing; this is just a little break.
Jack is done and I think Sam will be next. Or maybe Daniel. Teal'c is definitely last
as that one will make all of you cackle in your fruit loops! Review please! Let me
know what you think of this new series!
Author: dietcokechic
Season: Season 5
Rating: PG-13/R for language.
Category: Humor. Serious humor.
Summary: A short series of vignettes told from some unlikely observers of SG-1.
Spoilers: 216- A Matter of Time, 317- A Hundred Days, 403- Upgrades
Author's Notes: Apparently I have a penchant for looking at our favorite guys
through the eyes of observers (Daniel's Barista) or dealing with everyday "simple"
earth situations (Buying a house in Imbroglio). Lol. Does this make me a voyeur??
I just think there are oodles of Stargate stories out there written solely for and about
SG-1 and I like the idea of being a little different.
I can't quite recall exactly when the idea for this hit me, but it was sometime during
my trip to Europe last fall to attend an SG-con in France. Louise, Kath and Lucy all
heard various versions of this idea of mine (and believe me, there are LOADS of
different scenarios!), and all encouraged me to get it down on paper. The idea here
is to write four completely different vignettes from the point of view of individuals
you just might not think about. The first one will center on Jack, the second a
person I bet you never considered with regards to Sam, the third an obvious choice
for Daniel (Thank you Julia!) and the last a very, very comical look at Teal'c. Sort of.
Act 1 is for Louise.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Act I – The Colonel Returns
"Hey George, he's back." Frankie yelled back to his partner as he heaved up another
plastic garbage can and emptied it into the back of the truck.
"You mean, the Colonel?" George replied from the relative warmth of the cab. It
was a week before Christmas and damn cold out.
"Yep." Frankie said eyeing the two burgeoning trashcans and Glad© plastic bags at
the end of the block.
"It's been a while this time, huh?" George said musing aloud.
"Couple of weeks." Frankie confirmed as he finished up with one last bag and
jumped onto the side of the garbage truck. He hit the side of the truck twice to
indicate he was ready to move. Slowly the truck drove down a few driveways and
stopped.
Closer to the Colonel's now, George could sure enough see several overflowing
garbage cans and large plastic bags. Shaking his head in exasperation, George also
noticed three stacked bins full of recyclables.
"It's been god-knows how many years, and the guy still can't remember that
garbage day is different than recycle day!" George yelled out the window.
"You know he probably just does it all at once." Frankie replied squinting a little to
try and see what the Colonel left out this time. "You know, before he leaves again."
"I suppose." George said moving the truck another few feet forward.
He and Frankie had been driving the East Springs route for over four years now and
had been keeping an eye on "The Colonel" for well over three of those years. Like
most garbage guys, ("Sanitation Engineers" George told himself derisively) he and
Frank were damn good observers and had fun making up theories about various
houses along their route. The "weird guy at the end of the block" had become a
topic of conversation soon after they had started their route.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"I'm telling you Frank, the guy's just plain weird. I mean have you looked at the
truck oh his? We're talking serious bucks."
"So he's an eccentric rich guy living in the 'burbs. So what?"
"Don't you think that's odd?" George continued. "And what the hell does he do
anyway? I mean, he's gone for weeks at a time and then comes back and throws
out all his rotten food…"
"And orders pizza." Frank finished for him.
"I still say undercover Fed." George said with assurance as he sipped his beer.
"With that truck? Definitely not under cover." Frank said shaking his head. "What
about a crime lord or something?"
"Living in the suburbs of Colorado Springs?!" George said incredulously. "Right."
"Well, whoever he is, he's got expensive taste in whiskey." The pair was so deep in
conversation that they didn't even notice the two other men listening in at the bar.
"They've gotta be talking about the Colonel." Said the first one.
"Definitely." The second agreed.
"Excuse me?" George asked turning around to get a good luck at the interlopers.
Who the hell were these bozos? Wait a sec..
"Hey, I know you." His partner said beating George to the punch. "You guys work
the south side, right?"
"Yeah. I'm Hank and this is my partner John." Hank said reaching out his hand and
giving Frank and George a firm handshake. "Sorry to eavesdrop there, but you guys
have gotta be talking about the Colonel."
"What do you mean "The Colonel" Frank asked confused.
"The Colonel." John said agreeing with his partner. "That eccentric guy at the end
of the 17 route in East Springs."
"Well, that's the right area- but how do you know who the guy is?" Frank asked.
"We worked that route for two years before heading south." John explained.
"And I betcha we can clear up a lot of questions for you boys about the mysterious
guy at the end on '17." Hank moved his stool closer to the other two men.
"Hank, quit being a shit and just tell them!" John said shaking his head and slapping
his partner on the arm.
"Fine, fine." Hank said good-naturedly. "This is a good one fellas, but we might
need another round.."
"I got it." George said waiving a waitress over to their table. He ordered another
pitcher and an order of hot wings.
"And an O'Douls." John added.
"How can you drink that shit?" George said wrinkling his nose at the alcohol-free
beer.
"Beats o.d'ing." John said with a shrug. Hank only really gave him shit about his
lack of drinking when he himself was drunk- which wasn't all that often thankfully.
John had been in Narcotics Anonymous for 6 years now and although some guys
with substance abuse problems did drink alcohol, John didn't want to take the risk.
Not with a son in middle school and a baby girl on the way.
"Quit stalling," Hank said. "Tell us what you know of this mysterious "Colonel".
"Well first, you gotta understand that we don't normally go snooping through guys'
trash." Hank said warming up to the notion of storytelling.
"Of course not." George said rolling his eyes. "God, you south-end guys talk a lot!
Get on with it already!"
"Well, as you know, there's always a house or two on a circuit that is just weird
enough that you keep an eye on…"
"Oh yeah!" Frankie said laughing at the thought of Mr. O'Leary and his Victoria's
Secret boxes.
"Well, there was this one guy.."
"The Colonel." John added.
"Who we really wondered about." Hank finished.
"How so?" Frank asked curiosity getting the best of him.
"The dude was never home!" Hank said a little too loudly. Unlike his teetotaler
partner, he enjoyed a good beer. Or six.
"That sounds like our guy." George said agreeing. It was always a little creepy to
see that empty house for weeks at a time, followed by overflowing garbage cans and
recycling bins.
"But," Hank said continuing, "When he is home, we know it."
"Beer bottles?" Frank asked remembering the occasional stacks of glass bottles by
the garbage cans.
"Sometimes." John said nodding. "But every now and then there's whiskey."
"Or scotch." His partner said knowingly. "Really good, high end scotch."
"And beer. Lots and lots of beer bottles."
"But then there will be nothing…"
"Weeks of nothing but this empty rambler at the end of the block."
"But then the guy would come home.."
"And we'd see garbage."
"Lots of take out and pizza boxes."
"And beer. The guy liked his beer."
"Don't forget his mystery guest!"
"That's right!" John said remembering. "When Hank and I first started driving the
route, the Colonel had a house guest for a while."
"We saw them one day."
"The Colonel?" George asked.
"Yeah. And his boy toy." Hank said.
"What?!" Frankie said coughing up his beer.
"Ah, cut it out Hank." John said uncomfortably. "The guy's a vet for christ' sake."
"Don't ask, don't tell John." Hank said smugly.
"What?!" George said completely confused now. "Will you guys stop fooling around
and just tell us how you know who the hell he is?"
"All right." Hank said putting down his nearly empty beer glass and looking first at
Frank and then George. "It happened almost 5 years ago." Hank said in a stage
whisper.
"Dark and stormy night, right?" Frankie said with a laugh, trying to ease the
tension.
"Moron." His partner said giving him a shove. "We pick up between 4 and 8 AM."
"*Anyway*," Hank said continuing. "It was fucking cold out and the guy appeared
to be out again.."
"No truck." John added.
"But, he'd obviously remembered it was trash day, as he'd thrown out several bags
worth of trash."
"But he hadn't sealed them that well.." John said picking up the story thread.
"Some dogs or something had gotten into the bags and scattered garbage across the
road."
"Hate it when that shit happens." George said shaking his head.
"Now normally, we'd just leave it.."
"Let the suburbanites and their kiddies pick up the trash…"
"BUT, we had no idea when this guy would be back and we didn't want our
supervisor to be called with complaints from the neighbors."
"Lazy little shits." Hank added pouring himself another beer.
"So we decided to clean it up."
"And that's when we hit the mother-lode."
"You ain't kidding there." John said shaking his head. "I don't even want to think
about what I would have done with those had I been alone."
"What the hell are you talking about?" Frank said completely baffled by all of this.
"We found drugs." Hank said.
"Prescription drugs." John added with a knowing nod. "Really good, strong, high-
end prescription drugs."
"And apparently our guy barely touched them." Hank shook his head in disbelief.
"What sort of guy doesn't take pain killers? I mean obviously he must have been
really fucked-up, right?" George and Frank just nodded.
"He didn't take the drugs, but he did touch the whiskey." John added.
"Oh yeah." Hank said nodding. "The garbage might have contained several bottles
of Percocet, Demerol, and even that trendy anti-depressant stuff that was popular a
few years ago…"
"Prozac." John filled in.
"Right." Hank said. "All sorts of unopened drug bottles. But it was his recycling bins
that made us stand up and notice."
"Whiskey."
"And bourbon."
"Don't forget the scotch." John said remembering the scary number of empty bottles
sitting on the side of the driveway.
"There must have been over a dozen bottles in there. AND he had taken out both
his garbage and recycling three weeks earlier. So in a damn short period of time.."
"The Colonel must have gotten hit by a truck or something and then felt the need to
get very, very drunk."
"So spill it!" Frankie said not able to put a damper on his curiosity. "Who *is* this
guy?"
"According to his prescription bottles, the guy's name is Jack O'Neill; Colonel Jack
O'Neill- USAF."
"And he's a vet?" George asked.
"Yeah. After we found the bottles.."
"I was curious and had my kid do an Internet search on him."
"Decorated officer in the Gulf." Hank said grudgingly recognizing the Colonel's
service to his country.
"And he's listed at having received a bunch of medals in the 80's, although they
didn't say what for."
"He's a fucking hero apparently." Hank said finishing his fifth beer and contemplating
another.
"Wow." George said leaning back. This put a whole new spin on the mystery guy at
the end of the block.
"So what does he do?" Frankie asked.
"Not a fucking clue." Hank said lifting up a hand and ordering another round.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Since then, George and Frank had kept an eye out for their Colonel. They knew he
had been gone for several months back in early 2000. They had even caught sight of
what could only be the Colonel's "boy toy" a few times. After much discussion, it
was determined that he was definitely not the Colonel's lover. Nephew maybe. Or a
guy he worked with?
Both George and Frank were actually routing for the Colonel having a thing with that
pretty blonde lady that they saw pick him up one morning. George overhead a bit of
their conversation and was disappointed when he heard the Colonel call the woman
"Major". Frank insisted it was just some sort of kinky name calling thing, but George
was pretty certain the pair only worked together. After all, they had watched her
pull up *to* the house early in the morning, not leave it.
Later that summer, George and Frank "met" both boy toy and the Major as they
exited the Colonel's house together. Which of course led George to believe that it
was actually those two who were the couple and not she and the Colonel. Poor guy.
No wonder he drank so much! Apparently his best friend got the girl and all he got
was a couple bottles of whiskey!
But Frank quickly revised his hypothesis as the couple had been arguing (the good
natured, early morning, what the hell am I doing up kind) led Frank to believe that
they must be brother and sister. Looked a bit a like even. Their conversation on the
other hand made sense what so ever. Something about how this was all A-knee's
fault and that he (Boy Toy) hoped he could convince the owner to let them back into
O'Malleys. To which the woman (Sam) argued that they were all culpable and she
just wished the virus would dissipate already so they could get back to work. Major
Sam definitely had seen a college or two with all those expensive words she spoke!
Boy Toy (Daniel) went on to say that Jack had made the right call in having them all
spend the night. To which "Sam" had grumbled something about "That's because
*you* got to sleep on the bed!" Boy Toy (Daniel) had laughed and then politely said
good morning to both George and Frank before getting in the car with "Sam" and
driving off in search of coffee.
The pair had caught sight of the Colonel a half a dozen other times over the years,
usually as the Colonel was leaving and they were pulling up. He almost always wore
sunglasses (even when it was cloudy!) and baseball caps. And usually casual,
comfortable looking clothing. He might be an officer, but it certainly didn't look like
he was on active duty or anything.
Occasionally he would leave apologetic notes on his garbage saying, "Sorry there's
an extra bag this week." Considering that half of the time he didn't put out anything,
the guys didn't really fault the Colonel for putting out extra when he was home.
They sure wished he would remember to empty his fridge before he left though…
"Hey Frank!" George whispered as he watched the door open and a silver-haired
Colonel exit his home. He held two cups of steaming something in his hands. "Get
down here, the Colonel is coming out!"
Frank got out of the truck and watched puzzled as the Colonel made his way over to
the two men.
"Good morning." The Colonel said handing over two cups of hot coffee. "Thought
you might appreciate something warm."
"Thanks." George said accepting the hot liquid. He took a sip and sighed. "This is
good coffee!" The Colonel laughed.
"Yeah, a friend of mine insisted I stop using Folgers© and try something a little more
upscale."
"This is great Sir." Frank said taking his own sip.
"Sir?" The Colonel asked raising an eyebrow. Frank shrugged and immediately
came up with a perfect excuse. "I was in the National Guard." He explained. "You
have that officer look to you."
"Hmmph." The Colonel said running a hand through his rumpled hair. "Lucky
guess." The two men looked at him expectantly. Just what did this guy want?
"Here, these are for you." The Colonel said reaching into his pocket and pulling out
two envelopes.
"What's this for?" George asked holding out the envelope.
"You guys have been picking up after my sorry ass for four years now. I just wanted
to say thank you." He paused and shoved his hands into his pockets. "And wish you
a Merry Christmas." With that he gave them a small smile and headed back into the
house.
"Well who would have thunk it?" George mused as he stood in the early morning
sunshine sipping his coffee.
"Yeah." His partner said nodding.
"The Colonel really *does* have grey hair."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
More Authors' Notes: I haven't given up on Barista writing; this is just a little break.
Jack is done and I think Sam will be next. Or maybe Daniel. Teal'c is definitely last
as that one will make all of you cackle in your fruit loops! Review please! Let me
know what you think of this new series!