Rocko's Modern Ouija

Chapter 1: Yard Sale

Wednesday morning dawned on O-Town, USA, and all its residents slowly arose to begin their day. All except for one…Rocko, the wallaby. He was still asleep in bed. He had the day off from his job at Kind-of-a-lot-of-Comics, and he wanted to catch up on rest since his hours at the comic store were so demanding.

His white dog, Spunky, however, had other ideas. Instantly, he jumped on Rocko's bed and began to lick Rocko. Rocko grunted at first and turned over. Spunky was persistent, and he continued to lick Rocko. When Rocko still did not wake up, Spunky barked and then gave Rocko a big lick on the mouth.

Rocko certainly was aroused by that! He started spitting, and his eyes slowly creaked open. There, Spunky was in front of him panting and wagging his tail. Rocko sat up in bed and stretched. "Good morning, Spunky," he said. "I see you didn't want to be alone, did you? Well, now that I'm up, let's get you a nice breakfast."

Rocko got out of bed and went into his closet and got dressed in one of his famous blue shirts with millions of purple triangles. He then slipped into his comfortable orange sneakers. Afterwards, he left his room and walked down the stairs to feed Spunky.

Spunky darted down the stairs and raced into the kitchen. He sat by his food dish on the black-and-white tile kitchen floor, where he waited to be fed. Rocko creaked into the kitchen and bent down to the cabinet underneath the sink to get Spunky his favorite treat, Lockjaw Lollies. He then walked over to Spunky's dish and poured nearly the whole box into the bowl. Spunky dived into the Lockjaw Lollies and began making a big mess on the floor.

"Spunky, try not to make a mess…" Rocko started. Spunky apparently wasn't listening. Rocko sighed, "Well, I guess I'll have to clean this up later. I'll go get my breakfast."

Rocko opened the cabinet above the refrigerator and got a box of Hefferos. One of Rocko's best friends, Heffer, who was a fat steer, decided to make a cereal once. He gave Rocko a free sample, but Rocko hadn't tried any of it. Rocko had no other food to eat, so he decided to try Hefferos to see how it tasted. He went to another cabinet above the sink and got a bowl and then to the refrigerator for some milk. Rocko poured the Hefferos into his bowl, followed by the milk. Rocko put the milk back in the refrigerator, and he grabbed a spoon from one of the drawers. He sat down at the wooden kitchen table to start eating.

Rocko took a spoonful of Hefferos, only to spit it across the room. "YUK!" he yelled. "What is this…?" Rocko looked into the bowl. There, he saw what he thought were old cut up banana peels, bolts, and possibly dried up crap. "Nasty!" Rocko exclaimed. "I'm not eating this!" He shoved his bowl across the table.

Suddenly, he heard knocking at his door. "Who could that be?" he wondered. Rocko exited the kitchen and went to his front door, where he saw Heffer and his other best friend, Filbert, the turtle, who was somewhat nerdy and wore glasses.

"Hey, Rock, Filbert and me are going to a yard sale that the Bigheads are having! Wanna come?" Heffer asked.

The Bigheads were Rocko's cane toad neighbors. Ed Bighead was very grouchy toward Rocko, and he was always complaining about having him as a neighbor. Bev Bighead, his wife, was much nicer to Rocko, but she often got in big fights with Ed. Rocko had ambivalent feelings about the Bigheads, but he decided to go to their yard sale anyway. "Sure, why not?" Rocko said.

"All right!" Filbert yelled.

The three of them left Rocko's house and went next door to the Bigheads' well-kept yard. There was a big wooden table with all sorts of old junk that could have dated back as far as the 60s.

"Rocko, look at this really old computer," Heffer said.

Rocko walked over to the end of the table and looked at it. "This looks like one of those computers where you type stuff in. I remember those. They were the first personal PCs around," he said. "Don't really want it, though, as my PC is much more modern."

"I'll take it," Filbert said. "How much does it cost?"

Suddenly, Ed Bighead rushed over. "How much does it cost? It costs $10,000!" he shouted angrily.

Ed cast a dark shadow over Filbert. Filbert looked very intimidated all of a sudden. "Uh…(gulp)…never mind, Mr. Bighead, sir." He then tip-toed out of Ed's shadow.

Meanwhile, Rocko was looking through a cedar chest on the ground that was full of old clothes. "Hmm…" he said, pulling out a disco suit. "This looks pretty interesting. I always heard disco was coming back." He set it aside and pulled out a clown's wig and an astronaut suit. "An astronaut suit? Did Mr. Bighead ever work for NASA?" Rocko shrugged and put everything back in the cedar chest.

"Rocko! Filbert!" Heffer called. "Look at this!"

Rocko and Filbert ran to where Heffer was, and they saw that he held a wooden board in his hands.

"What is that thing?" Rocko asked.

"It's a…it's a…ooo…I…ga," Heffer said. "Wonder what that is?"

"No, Heff, that's pronounced WEEja!" Filbert said. "That's a Ouija board! It's a tool used for communicating with the supernatural! I've heard some very bad things about those things…"

At that moment, Ed stormed over. "What are you three doing here? Is that my Ouija board you're playing with?"

"We were just looking at it, Mr. Bighead," Rocko said.

Ed snatched the board from Heffer. "Well this thing's no toy! I communicated with ghosts with it two decades back. It gave me a bigger curse than I could ever hope to bear! It's horrible!" Ed said. He calmed down. "It'll cost you $20."

"Awesome!" Heffer yelled. He shoved his hand into his pocket and handed Ed a $20 bill.

Ed shoved the board back into Heffer's hands. "Don't say I didn't warn you!" he yelled. "Oh, and don't forget your planchette," he said, handing Heffer a wooden triangular piece with a circle near one of the points.

"Thanks!" Heffer said.

Ed grumbled and walked off.

"Hey, Rocko, you can keep this if you want," Heffer said, giving the Ouija board and planchette to Rocko.

"Thanks, Heff. I've got an idea! Let's have a Ouija board party at my house tonight! We can stay up as late as we want and communicate with ghosts," Rocko said.

"Great idea, Rock," Heffer said.

"I don't know, guys…" Filbert said. "Those things are very unsafe. I've heard instances where people have died using those."

"Relax, Filb. Those are just stories. Everyone knows the Ouija is just a game," Heffer said.

"Well…okay…" Filbert said. "I guess I'm in."

"You guys can come over at…say…10:00 at night. We'll start then," Rocko said.

"Okay, see you, Rock," Heffer said, waving. He left the Bigheads' yard.

"Bye, Rocko," Filbert said, following suit.

Rocko didn't realize he was still in the Bigheads' yard. "ROCKO! GET OUT OF MY YARD!" shouted Ed.

Rocko was startled. He looked around, forgetting that he needed to go back home. "Y-yes, sir. Sorry," Rocko said. He took his Ouija board and planchette with him as he went back to his house next door.