"Dick Grayson, W.T.F."
By SKH
©June 2008
Rating: K
Synopsis: A reflection on Dick Grayson/Nightwing's treatment at critical moments in the Bat-Family Battles. An answer to Batman R.I.P.
Disclaimer: characters herein are owned by DC Comics. No profit is realized from creation of stories based on them.
Comments and feedback are welcome to
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You're Fired
Joker: "If I can't kill you, Batman, I'll just kill Junior over here!"
BLAM !!
Robin: "Ow, my shoulder! WTF!" (Blackness descends)
Batman: "Robin, you're fired!"
10 Minutes Later
Bruce: "Dick, this is Jason. I gave him your old job, PLUS I adopted him one minute after I met him."
Dick: "WTF!" (sniff)
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Hunt For Oracle
Nightwing: "Gotta rescue Babs!"
THUD!!
Nightwing: "Ow, my head! WTF!" (Blackness descends)
Bad Guys: "Here, Nightwing. Have a dose of powerful hallucinogenic truth serum and tell us who and where Oracle is!"
POKE!!
Nightwing: "Ow! WTF! Ooh... hey, wow. (Trippiness happens)
CRASH!
Robin: "I'm here to save the day, Nightwing, you since you are powerless!"
Nightwing: "Ooh, I can taste the colors!"
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Crisis-Thingie-Before-Last
Nightwing: "Babs, I need to go help save the Universe!"
SSZZZZTTT!!
Babs: "Hey, where are we? Are those dinosaurs?"
Nightwing: "WTF!! I think we've been zapped back in time!"
Babs: "Let's make out while all the other heroes save the Universe!"
Robin: "What happened to Nightwing? No matter, I'll save the Universe!"
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Bludhaven
Officer Dick: Oh, no! Deathstroke's trying to kill Amy!
BLAM!!
Officer Dick: "Ow, my arm! WTF!!"
Amy: "Dick, I know you're Nightwing. You're fired."
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War Games
Nightwing: "Even the cops are shooting at us!"
BLAM!!
Nightwing: "Ow, my leg! WTF!! Hey, it hit my artery... (Blackness descends)
Alfred: "Master Dick, if you get out of bed, I'll break your other leg!"
Robin, by radio: "That's okay. Batman, Batgirl, Spoiler, Tarantula and I will save Gotham City!"
Nightwing: "Tarantula!! WTF!!" (Passes out)
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Gotham Underground
Batman: "Nightwing, I'll get intel on the Mob as Matches Malone while you dress up like a giant Twinkie and look ridiculous."
Night-Twinkie: "Get here fast, guys, this Twinkie costume is hot!"
BLAM!!
Night-Twinkie: "Ow! My guts! WTF!!" (Blackness descends)
Robin: "Nightwing! I can't find you! No matter, Resurrected-Spoiler and I will save the day!"
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Batman R.I.P.
Nightwing: "In Batman's absence, I'll have to wear the Bat-suit and save Gotham City!"
BLAM!!
Nightwing: "Ow!! My (fill in the blank)! WTF!! (Blackness descends)
Robin (blowing smoke from the barrel of his gun): "Nah-ah-ah! I'm wearing The Suit!"
Damien: "Can I be Robin?"
READERS: WTF!!
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End.