Jenny raced to her locker, a wide grin on her face as she passed a grumpy Anny and a sniffling An, "Right on!" she cried as she opened up her locker. She then held up a sheet of paper in the air and ran around in a circle, "B's and C's for me!" she sang happily, "B's and C's for me!" Anny glared at her, her locker open in front of her while An's lip quivered and she tearfully leaned against her locker door.
Jenny crammed her large round head into her locker, squishing her face as she called into Plankette, who had been sitting in her locker, an open text book filled with images of trees with hearts all around them, a pencil, an eraser, and an acorn. "All that extra tutoring you gave me really paid off, buddy!" Jenny said, smiling gratefully at her cheerful wooden friend.
"Hey Jenny!" Nate said cheerfully, wearing his football jacket, his chest puffed out in pride as he held up another sheet of paper for Jenny to inspect once she yanked her head free, "Check this out!" he said. Once Jenny had pulled her head out of her locker, she read down the sheet, "An A in football?!" Jenny cried out, impressed. She then poked the top of his head, "You sure must have brains!" she said, making him blush. Anny snarled at the two, annoyed.
"Choice!" Karen cried, Anny turned to her, grinding her teeth and clenching her fists at Karen's overjoyed expression as she stared at a sheet of paper in her hand, she was wearing her cheerleader uniform, again, pumping her other hand into the air with a pom pom in it, "I upped my fine arts grade to a C-! Dad's gonna be stoked!" she cheered. Anny shook with rage, wanting to rip the sheet of paper out of her hand, crumple it up into a ball and shove it into her big smiling mouth, but she knew it wouldn't shut her up.
"Curse this present day phooey!" Rachel cried out angrily, making Anny and Karen turn to look at Rachel, who had buried her face into a sheet of paper, she pulled it out, looking nervous, "Rachel will need a new tuchus after Papa sees this…" she said, sweating like mad and shaking with fear for her tuchus. Karen glanced at the sheet, then looked at her foreign friend sympathetically, "Girl, a D in typing? Rough." Rachel threw open her locker and grabbed Karen by the chin, "Almighty-Chinned-Karen Girl!" she cried, yanking her friend's head to look at the typewriter on the floor of locker sitting on two random potatoes that she kept in there. But that wasn't the only strange thing inside, her locker also held a hanging ham, a bag of something called flönk, and a shovel. Why she needed these things in her locker, Karen had no idea. "Of what use is this infernal button box to the Daughter of a Shepherd, Rachel asks you!" she looked at Karen, her body hunched over the sheet of paper in her hands and her eyes wide, as if hoping she had an answer to her question. Karen searched her brain for a response, "Uh…" after a second of thinking and coming up with nothing, she noticed Nate and Jenny comparing papers and called out, "Hey Nate, how'd you do?" she then fled to them, Rachel quickly dashing behind her, joining their conversation. Anny was boiling with rage and grinding her teeth, this sucked!
She looked at An, who was still hanging her head, sobbing with her fingers on the combo-lock on her locker, fuming, "HOW COME THEY GET THEIR REPORT CARDS WHILE SOME BACK-STABBING JERK IS HAND-DELIVERING OURS TO OUR PARENTS?" she demanded to know.
Yes, it was report card day, and everyone was a buzz as they gazed at the results of their hard work so far that quarter, well, everyone except the Ans and Kankers.
An and Anny had been informed in homeroom, after they had been given their report cards for long enough to glance at them and see that they were doing poorly, for them to be snatched back, that since they had done so poorly this quarter, another student would be personally delivering their report cards to their parents. They were horrified and outraged to learn this, mainly because they didn't want their parents to know if they were doing poorly in school, they'd be dead meat, but partly because the only other people who had their report cards send straight to their parents were the Kanker brothers, and they had actually done well enough to avoid that this quarter, but then again, they'd had dodgeball in gym for a month, it got so bad that Double-N would start sobbing the moment she walked into the gym, even though the Kankers never hit the Ans, the game was traumatic for her for some reason. Double-N would have one An sit with her and comfort her while the other was stuck on the same team as the Kankers, watching with horror as they took the other kids out with ease, cackling.
Anny was still fuming about how the other kids laughed at and mocked her and An after the announcement had been made and Karen said that she and An definitely belonged with the Kanker brothers. This had pleased Tee and Jay, but Anny and An slunk into their seats, humiliated and upset.
An stood up straight, a sad pout on her lips and tears pouring down her cheeks as she then wiped a massive amount of snot onto her shirt sleeve and cried out, "LIFE CAN BE SO CRUEL!" and slammed her face into her locker, much to an approaching Double-N's concern. Anny hadn't noticed, she was too busy glaring angrily at the other kids of the cul-de-sac, who were happily chatting and comparing report cards, glancing from one to another, "I mean, what low down miserable two-timing SLIMEBALLwould do something like that?" she snapped, growling at the four kids in front of her, her fists clenched and her back hunched over, as if ready to dash over and start kicking butt and tearing through their belongings to find her and An's report cards.
Double-N smiled nervously as Anny stood in front of her locker, fuming, "Look at the bright side, ladies!" she said, trying to curb Anny's rage a bit, "This could be a great opportunity for the two of you of you to sit down with your parents," Anny snagged Jenny by her back pack and started rummaging through it, tossing out various fruits and vegetables while her brainy friend went on to say, "and find a corrective curriculum to overcome your academic shortcomings." She said cheerfully to her friends.
Anny rolled her eyes, it was easy for Sock-head to say, the girl was the smartest kid in school, she always got A+s, even in gym! (She did extra credit essays to make up for her lack of physical prowess) Heck, their first report card day, the three of them compared their grades to the other kids, after they saw An and Anny's they laughed, then when they saw Double-N's they quickly stifled themselves when they saw that every letter on her report card was 'A+'. The other kids attempted to out do her for the next marking period, but failed to beat her. Needless to say, after that first year of school, no one ever attempted to compare grades with Double-N again, since they all knew that she got what she always got, straight A+s. So she didn't have any problems when it came to report card days. But An and Anny did.
Once Double-N had said her piece, she quickly moved to flee from her friends towards the classroom, sweating profusely and looking nervous and guilty, "Yes indeedy." She said cheerfully, only to slip on an apple that Anny had tossed out of Jenny's bag and fell straight onto her back, her bag bursting open and papers and pens exploding out of her bag and into the air. The other kids pointed at her fall and laughed as the papers cascaded back down on top of her. "Smooth move, Dork!" Karen howled. Anny growled at them as Karen, Nate and Rachel walked to math class, Anny still had Jenny by her backpack so Jenny was still there, An walked over to the pile of papers to help her now- dizzy friend.
An looked down at the pile of papers Double-N was buried in, she then smiled and yanked Double-N up by her hat, "For me? You shouldn't have, Double-N!" she said as she placed her dazed friend to the side and got on her hands and began to chant, "PICK PAPER UP! PICK PAPER UP!" flinging the papers from the open satchel under her legs and up into the air, only to land right back in the pile they had been in before in a giant circle. After a moment to re-orient herself, Double-N's face went from pained to panicked, "No, no, no, no, An!" she said her voice calm but her expression terrified as she scrambled to snatch the flying papers, "Please, uh, let me do that!" she said as she tried to grab her own report card that was floating in the air.
"Double-N!" An called loudly, making Double-N turn to see An holding two pages, one with a note on the back in blue ink, "Your report cards look the same as mine and Anny's!" she said in the same loud tone, tilting them in different directions as she looked at them, smiling cheerfully. Double-N pulled her hands up to her chest, she was sweating excessively and biting into her lip guiltily and glanced over at Anny, who, upon hearing that Double-N had two report cards that looked like hers and Ans', released Jenny's bag, holding an acorn she had pulled out, letting Jenny and Planktte, who had been tugging to get Jenny's bag back, fly backwards onto the ground with a crash.
Anny quickly ran up to An, "Lemme see those!" she snapped, grabbing An's legs and pulling them out from under her, making her fall face first into the ground, snatching the sheets of paper as they began to fall to the ground, while she'd feel bad about that later, An was pretty much unbreakable, Anny'd seen the girl crash through houses and not have a single scratch on her. An was tougher then Superman.
Anny stared at the papers in her hand for a moment, confirming that the report cards were, indeed, her's and An's, then glared angrily at Double-N who backed away from her, holding her arms up as if surrendering. "SO YOU'RE THE BACK-STABBING JERK!" she shrieked, jabbing her with her finger and making her back up against her locker.
Double-N was hurt at the accusation of betraying her friends, but knew that the evidence was stacked against her, if only they could understand that she was doing this to help them. The principal had told her if An and Anny's grades didn't improve, that they could be held back a grade! And she couldn't let that happen! She wouldn't! She was going to have her friends in the same grade with her, even if it meant she had to go behind their backs, although it crushed her to do so.
As Anny thought about it, it made sense, Double-N'd be the last person the other two Ans would expect to deliver their report cards to their parents, after all, she was an An, and the Ans always stuck together. The Principal knew that, heck, everyone knew that, and the jerk ordered Double-N, the biggest pushover/goodie-two-shoes around to deliver those report cards to their parents, knowing that she'd do anything to help her best friends' become better educated. He probably told her that she was helping them, that it was for their own good, and a whole bunch of other bunk, that lying jerk!
Double-N was sweating like crazy, she knew that this wouldn't end well, so she tried calm Anny down, to reassure her that she was not a 'back-stabbing jerk' as Anny had so bluntly put it, "Who, me? Uh, how could you say that? Why, never!" she looked at the report cards in Anny's hands and reached for them, "Perhaps I should hang on to those for safe keeping?" Anny looked at the cards, stunned at her friend's contradicting words and actions.
Anny felt rage boil in her belly, while she wasn't the smartest kid around, there was no way her friend could think that she was that stupid, even if she had seen her report card. She grabbed Double-N by the tie and spun her in the air as she threw the locker Double-N had been leaning on wide open, "IN YOUR DREAMS!" she shouted, furious at her friend, then threw her into her own locker and slammed the door shut.
"May I might?" An asked taking her own report card and holding it up to her face, "I bet I'm doing real good, girls!" she said cheerfully, probably forgetting the humiliation she had endured earlier in the day. She stared at the report card for a second then cried out, "OH! OH! LISTEN TO THIS!" She lowered the paper and revealed her face, which now resembled one of their teacher's.
She now had on a grey haired wig done up in a bun with a pencil shoved in it, big round red glasses (which were upside down on her face), and had smeared pink lipstick on her lips.
All without moving her hands off the ends of the page.
Anny would never know how An pulled these things off, but instead of trying to figure it out, she decided just to kick back and enjoy the show.
An then spoke in a high falsetto voice, "An has difficulty with her ability to concentrate for even the smallest period!" she said, wigging her finger back in forth like a teacher would, she paused, then soon found herself fascinated by her own wiggling finger, "Tick tock, tick tock!" she said cheerfully as she watched her finger go back and forth. Anny began to chuckle, trying to hold it in, holding her belly as she did so, as if it might help, only to burst out laughing, "The teacher's got you pegged, An!" she laughed.
"Deplorable grades do not a joke make, Anny!" Double-N chided her from inside her locker. Anny looked at her report card, all this drama for letters written on a sheet of paper. Well, if they wanted letters on paper, that's what she'd give 'um. An stood next to Anny, her teacher get up now gone as she continued to watch her finger go back and forth.
"Who's got deplorable grades, smart girl?" Anny asked, then smiled as she grabbed An with one hand by her stomach then dashed to her locker, dragging An behind her, shouting out, "NOT US! NOT ANYMORE!"
She threw her locker open, snickering eagerly, she had just the thing to fix this whole mess. Double-N peeked out from her locker, her eyes wide with concern.
"Time to get to work, An." Anny said, moving aside a picture she had of herself in her locker to reveal a small hole in the back. She then yanked a sticker covered guitar case out of it, "A little hand-me-down from my sister," she said proudly and opened it up onto the floor, revealing the insides to be full of stencils, inks, white out, and other office like supplies as well as two tapes with recordings of her parent's voices, in case a teacher called to confirm that they got the cards and that they knew that their daughter was failing, "The good old report card changing kit!" she said eagerly.
Her sister had fooled her parents for many a year with this baby, it could fool her and An's parents too. Anny began to laugh evilly, with this thing, their parents wouldn't know that they were doing poorly and there was nothing the principal could do to change that.
Double-N began to shake, despite what her friends thought, changing their report cards would do nothing but delay any chances of them getting help. Since report cards were, as they were named, reports of the grades they had already received, it didn't matter if Anny or An changed the letters on that page, because it did nothing to the grades that were already in the system. This was bad! At this rate, her friends would have to repeat the grade and she would be without her best friends when she entered high school. Double-N felt bile in the back of her throat at the idea of walking up to Peach Creek High School without An and Anny beside her.
She had to stop them.
She had to get those report cards back and she most definitely hadto deliver them to their parents.
She knew her friends might hate her for it, but it was for their own good as well as her own. She refused to let her friends get held back, the Ans always had each others backs, even if it meant making each other upset.
Double-N's mind raced as to how she could get those report cards back while Anny handed An a tube of 'liquid white' to start changing their Fs to As, Bs and Cs. "Here! Get cracking!"
Double-N stared at her friends, horrified as An took the tube of white out from Anny, a huge smile on her face as she shouted, "ALREADY CRACKED, ANNY!"
To be honest, both of her friends were actually quite capable of good grades, actually, An had an 'A' in gym, but with her strength and stamina, gym was always a cake walk for her, but as for the other subjects, she, as the teacher stated, couldn't pay attention long enough to learn anything. That could easily be remedied if the teachers took the time to help her, but they hardly even tried. They believed that An was simply too stupid to learn, which both of her friends knew was wrong.
An could easily soak up facts about random monsters from the movies she liked. If the teachers had even bothered to try with her, they could find An to be very observant and insightful and holder of multiple artistic skills, but they refused to look past her short attention span, which Anny and Double-N had found plenty of ways to counter, many of which Double-N had suggested to the principal to help her pay more attention in class and explained how skillful An was in the Arts and asked if she could do extra credit projects to help boost her grades by having her create things and use all of her energy into making something fantastic instead of trying to force her into trying to focus on something that wouldn't interest her anyway.
Anny too, had plenty of potential to be a good student, but she didn't bother to learn things that she didn't think she'd ever really use in real life or need to know to succeed, kind of like Sherlock Holmes. The teachers believed her to be lazy or not care about what they were trying to teach, much like her sister. But Double-N knew that it wasn't simply that. Yes, Anny could be lazy, but only because she knew An could handle the heavy lifting and Double-N the heavy thinking, she just needed to be the leader, the one who told them what they were going to do and decided on how they would handle things and held them together, she was very practical like that, if something wasn't needed then she either didn't do it or threw it away, she refused to waste effort on it. This also happened in school, Anny would decide if something the teacher was trying to teach was something she absolutely needed to know or not, if it was, Anny paid attention and asked questions so she could gather more information, if not, she ignored it. It was as simple as that. Again, she was very practical. If she didn't need it, she didn't bother with it. She explained this to the principal as well, explaining that if Anny could see how something she could learn would be useful to her then she'd do better.
That's when it hit her, she quickly pulled out several things from her bag and got to work. Her friends too busy altering their report cards to notice what their brainy friend was doing. "The usual A's and B's," Anny instructed as An brushed white out on the F next to 'Remedial Math', which quote frankly was kind of obvious on the yellow paper the report card had been typed on, but the comments on the bottom were in the same blue ink so they could still buy it. "And throw in a C minus, just in case," Anny added as An held up a stencil, placing the stencil for a capital 'C' over the whited out 'F' "don't want my folks to get suspicious." Anny finished as An took a fancy fountain pen and squirted blue ink onto the page.
"Looky! A 'C' I see, and smart you be, Anny McGee!" An said, lifting the page and revealing the perfect blue 'C' that sat atop the covered red 'F' on Anny's report card.
Suddenly a large shadow overcame the altered report card, the two let out a 'huh?' before looking behind them to see…
The silhouette of the school principal!
"We're busted, An!" Anny whispered, panic pushing her voice up an octave as she stared up at the shadow, whose hands were on their hips, as if waiting for an explanation as to why they were altering their report cards.
"Not good, Anny." An whispered back, terrified of whatever punishment was to come for their trickery, tears starting to burn in her eyes.
Neither of them noticing Double-N quickly slip the report cards from in front of them into her hands and slipping away from her friends towards their first class, shoving the papers into her bag as she silently snuck away.
Anny and An turned around, both sweating and looking guilty, "Uh, Principal, sir…" Anny began, only for her to realize that the 'principal' was just a small cardboard cut out to look like his shadow with a flash light behind it to make it look as if it was bigger. An closed her eyes and started to sob, "I SURRENDER!" she cried. Anny's eyes were wide in surprise as she processed what she was looking at.
There was only one person who would do this, she barely glanced down to confirm what she already suspected. The report cards were gone, she cursed under her breath… "Why that little…" she turned to see her brainy friend dashing towards the classroom, shoving the report cards into her satchel.
"Hey!" Anny cried, running in front of her, cutting her off and pressing her face so it was pushing against Double-N's, stomping towards her angrily, "What's the big idea?" Anny demanded as her advancement made Double-N retreat back towards An, who was wiping away the tears she shed as she contemplated what her parents would do if they found out that she was doing so poorly in school.
Double-N backed up enough so her's and Anny's faces were no longer touching, "I-I've been entrusted with a very important task, Anny." Double-N explained nervously. An's lip quivered, if her parents saw her report card, her life would become a nightmare! Double-N had one hand over her heart and another in the air as she pledged, "And neither rain nor sleet nor you nor An shall stop me from completing this duty." She looked at Anny's clenched fists, her knuckles turning white as she retreated closer and closer to An, who was about to burst.
"I'm sure your parents will be very understanding…" Double-N began, trying to be comforting, only for An, who decided to tell Double-N exactly what her parents would do upon learning that she was doing poorly.
"I'M GOING TO HAVE TO LIVE WITH MY AUNT!" An shouted, making Double-N squash Anny behind her and both girls lean backwards, "SHE HAS A MUSTACHE, DOUBLE-N!" Double-N looked disturbed at the news that An's aunt had a mustache, Anny looked annoyed that Double-N just didn't give them back their report cards so they could fix this stupid problem and be done with it.
"GIMME THOSE REPORT CARDS!" Anny demanded, making Double-N back into An, both leaning back farther then before.
"HER CAT MAKES ME SNEEZE AND SHE NEVER BUTTERS MY TOAST!" An cried, tears streaming down her face as her voice pressed Double-N back into Anny and made them lean backwards, farther then before. Anny scowled and shouted, "THE CARDS! NOW!" Sending Double-N back into An, An's back an inch from the ground. An then got up and wailed, " SHE SMELLS LIKE CABBAGE AND SHE MAKES ME USE TOOTHPICKS!" An leaned forward and shouted so loud that she made both her friends arch over backwards, Anny's back on the ground and Double-N leaning on her friend.
"GIMME 'UM!" Anny shouted, launching her friends back towards the ground, An flat on her back and Anny shouting down at them, Double-N couldn't take much more, as much as she didn't want An to live with her horrid sounding aunt, she didn't want to be alone next year without her best friends. She slipped away from her friends, sweating from the pressure as she dashed away, leaving Anny's head to fall into An's mouth, which she had opened to tell her friend more about her horrible aunt.
Double-N ran down the hall as Anny pulled herself out of An's mouth and the two started to chase her down the hall, only to hear the sound of the bell. Double-N turned around to look at the vibrating bell and smiled, hope filling her heart, "Math Class! Yes! Sanctuary!" she cried, relieved. An and Anny couldn't get the report cards from her in there in front of the teachers! She was safe!
"Math class! Yeah! We got her!" Anny smirked, an upset An right behind her. Double-N was stuck with them, and there was no way she was getting away!
Double-N was dashing to the door from the other side, she quickly opened the door and walked inside, her heart pounding in her chest as she politely greeted the teacher as she closed the door behind her, walking towards her seat in the middle of the front row and settling in. They had math class with Karen, Nate, Rachel and the Kanker brothers.
Rachel was searching thorough her desk for something, most likely her homework, while Tee looked bored and Jay seemed to have fallen asleep, probably bored because An and Anny had yet to arrive in the classroom. The three of them were sitting side by side two rows back from her, Rachel's seat was behind Double-N's and the bored Kankers were to her right and Karen was to her left with Nate right in front of her.
Nate was glancing at his book, so he hadn't noticed her come in, Karen on the other hand, looked at her, annoyed. But then again, Karen was more fond of gym then math so she was probably annoyed with the subject matter they were about to go into, although it was well-known that Karen found the Ans annoying.
Larie however, who was sitting only one row back from Double-N and in front of Jay, looked pleased to see her, he was slumped forward towards his propped open book and smirked deviously at her, licking his lips. Double-N shivered and focused on pulling out her homework from the previous day, since the teacher was probably going to ask everyone to turn it in at the start of class.
Anny and An dashed towards the door and opened it, standing on either side of the door, only to smack into one another when they were trying to open it. As they wobbled apart, Anny managed to open it for them only to wham themselves once more into the other, after another try they quickly managed to get inside the classroom, both playing it cool, as if nothing was wrong as they walked past the teacher's desk. An waved cheerfully at the teacher, as if she hadn't been bawling her eyes out just moments ago and Anny even put an apple on the desk, it had been the one Double-N had stepped on and slipped on, but the teacher didn't have to know that and wreck the few bonus points Anny had just gotten for her 'kind' action. Besides, it served the jerk right for giving her and An crummy grades when none of the teachers even bothered to really try to teach them, they just let them do as they pleased and hardly cared if they were paying any attention or not. Actually, they didn't really try to teach or even control the Kankers either, they just sighed and resigned to the fact that they had five failing students, four decent students and one star pupil. Never bothering to try and help the failing students so they'd at least be decent ones.
Double-N's eyes widened when her fellow Ans took seats on either side of her, then she remembered that they always sat next to one another, it was one of the few ways school seemed bearable to An and Anny was that the three of them were always in the same classrooms for their classes and sat next to one another. And, although it could be troubling at times like these, she was glad that, even though they were at different levels academically, that they were allowed to stick together. Although, the principal had actually had it that way because he hoped that by sitting with Double-N, An and Anny would do better in school.
They didn't, but they behaved better when the three were together so he let them stay together.
An was on Double-N's right and Anny to her left, both smiling widely and staring at the board, only stopping to occasionally glance at her from the corners of their eyes. Double-N began to sweat nervously as she started twiddling her fingers, trying to get rid of the access energy she got from the adrenaline that was coursing through her veins from the knowledge that her friends were most likely not going to let her out of their sight until they got their report cards back. She glanced over at Anny, who, after pulling out her own homework, gave her a wide, wily grin, as if to say, 'good luck delivering those report cards later, cause you're gonna need it.' Double-N gulped, then glanced back at An, who gave her a sad pout, as if threatening to cry if she went through with it.
Double-N wished that the Principal had just called their parents instead of making her go through this torment, she hated being pitted against her best friends like this, but she would not falter nor would she allow herself to lose, she was not going to let them get left behind!
Double-N sat, sweating and twiddling her fingers between her best friends until the teacher called for their attention, then Double-N sat up a little bit in her seat and did so, grateful for the lesson to begin and keep her mind off of her smirking friends on either side. Not noticing the random sausage Rachel had just pulled out of her desk that she was now staring at, confused, as if to say, 'well that's not last night's homework.' Nor did she notice Tee smirk as he pulled out a sling shot, took a pink eraser and launch it at his youngest brother's head, waking him with a start then acting as if nothing had happened while Jay sat there, wide eyed and wondering what the heck just hit him while he had been dreaming about kissing An.
Double-N focused on the chalk board in front of her, watching with sweat pouring down her back as the teacher began writing problems from last night's assignment and hoping that shop class would be a little less stressful.
It wasn't.
But in retrospect, a class where various heavy and sharp things could be found was not exactly a stress-free environment to begin with.
The Ans had that class with Karen, Jenny, Plankette and the Kanker brothers, but the Ans still sat in the front of the classroom, mainly because Double-N enjoyed sitting near the front so she could see the board better, and because the Kanker brothers liked sitting in the back of the classroom.
Double-N was shaking violently as she glanced back and forth at her friends. Anny sat to her left, smiling as if nothing was wrong, working on nothing while An was smiling and holding a wooden board to her right. Double-N sweat buckets as she waited for the teacher to inspect her completed birdhouse beside her, hoping that she could be excused from class early for finishing her work before everyone else. But she had no luck.
Mainly because Jenny freaked out while watching Karen saw a board in half and told the teacher that Plankette fainted and needed to go to the nurse's office and Tee and Larie had glued a board to Jay's head, so he had to go to the nurse's office too. So Double-N was left to endure a second class with her best friends making her feel more and more guilty and anxious for the end of the day when she was to deliver their report cards.
She hoped maybe history would be better.
It wasn't.
Then again, it was a review day for an upcoming test so no one really paid any attention.
The Ans had history with Rachel, Nate, Jenny, Plankette and the Kanker brothers.
Anny smiled at the teacher, as if she was happily listening to whatever she was talking about, An smiled and held her book with both hands. Jay was sitting right behind An in history class, so it wasn't exactly uncommon for her to do, because she'd usually use it as a shield if he felt amorous. Luckily today he was sleeping, but An wasn't taking any chances.
Rachel sat behind Anny, holding the book up sideways and glaring at it, as if it confused her. Jenny and Plankette were passing notes behind Rachel, Nate was reading a book, Larie was holding his head up with his hands, bored out of his mind while Tee was sitting in the back corner, glancing up at the clock and waiting for it to be time for them to get out of that snore fest.
Double-N found herself glancing up at the clock as well, wishing the class could end sooner. She scolded herself for doing so, but she just wanted this school day to be over so she could quickly deliver the report cards and get it over with already.
The bell blissfully rang, informing the students that it was time for the last class of the day before they could all go home.
For the Ans, it was Home Economics.
Which they had with Karen, Jenny, Plankette and, you guessed it, the Kanker brothers.
As for the reason why the Kankers were in every one of the Ans' classes, it was very simple:
Damage control. Basically, if they were in a class with the Ans, they did less damage to the school during the average day.
Not that they did much in this class, in fact, while Double-N was sweating in her apron covered clothes beside the nice turkey she had made, Tee and Larie were shoving a sleeping Jay's face into a bowl of mashed potatoes, startling him and making him wake up to find himself covered in mashed potatoes. Jenny and Plankette were making stuffing and Karen was grumbling as she mixed up another batch of mashed potatoes with a whisk, annoyed that the Kankers had used her hard work to shove in Jay's face.
Double-N's eyes were now glued to the analog clock above, watching as the seconds slowly crept by, feeling her heart race with unease as her best friends scooted closer and closer to her, hearing her sweat drip off her body into the puddle she was making below and twiddling her thumbs in front of her in an attempt to rid herself of her panic but failing. Anny and An just kept smiling and scooting closer and closer, now getting to a point where they were seriously invading her personal space.
One minute until school was over and Double-N didn't know what to do, if she became anymore nervous and squished, she feared that she would soon need a restroom… Her eyes lit up, the restroom, of course!
She burst from between her two friends, who had been squishing her with their sides, smiling vibrantly with her messenger bag over her shoulder and her apron still on as she raised her hand and called, "Uh, Pardon me, sir. But may I be excused to the restroom?" she asked politely, catching An and Anny off guard as they tried to play it cool and act as if they hadn't been squishing their friend between them for the past two minutes while the teacher considered his answer.
Jenny and Plankette looked up from their stuffing, confused as to why Double-N would ask to leave to the bathroom now when they were going to be let out in a minute. Then Jenny shrugged it off, deciding that when someone's gotta go, then they gotta go, and that she shouldn't question it and she and Plankette went back to work. Karen glanced up from her barely mashed potatoes, slightly grateful for the distraction, then groaned and got back to work.
Larie, however, was surprised, he stopped playing with the tongs he had used to lift Jay's face over the mashed potatoes and dropped him in with and stared at her.
Double-N never left class early, no matter what, maybe it had something to do with why she had been so nervous all day and why her friends had just been squishing her a minute ago.
The teacher nodded and Double-N left with a skip in her step as she called out, "Thank you!" and dashed out the door, gently closing it behind her.
An and Anny looked at the door, shocked that the teacher had basically let her leave class early. Anny snarled and curled her fists in front of her, "Sucker punch!" she hissed angrily while An was biting back a laugh, thinking that if Double-N had to leave so urgently, that she probably had to go poo.
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Double-N had quickly slipped her apron into her satchel as she frantically ran down the hallway towards the exit, "Now if only I could just get to the outside before the final bell!" she cried, hoping that with a head start home, she could quickly deliver the report cards and hide in her house until Anny and An had calmed down and would be able to listen to reason without pummeling her.
But just as Double-N touched the handle on the door and was about to push it open so she could flee back to the cul-de-sac, the final bell rang.
As soon as the sound began, she was pushed down by two flip-floped feet.
"WHOO! HOO! RACE YOU HOME, BUDDY!" Jenny called to the hunk of wood in her hands. As soon as Jenny got off of her, she quickly rolled along side the door, only for her eyes to widen in horror as she saw the Kanker brothers coming her way.
Her instincts screamed the same thing her friends did when the Kankers charged towards them, "RUN AWAY!"
But instead of the Kankers charging at her, they dashed out of school, with Tee in front cheering, "MEATLOAF MONDAY, BOYS!"
Larie was right behind him, his eyes wide and eager as he called out, "LAST ONE HOME HAS TO FILE DAD'S BUNYONS!" Double-N felt bile climb up her throat at the thought of the vile act, but she quickly swallowed it as Jay skipped past her, trailing behind his brothers saying, "No bunions for me, I'm on a diet!" Double-N paused at that, thinking that Jay's words were similar to what An would say in that situation. But she quickly shook it off, grateful for the gluttony of growing boys that allowed her to come out of that encounter hickey-free.
The door quickly closed and Double-N pulled herself up off the ground as she wiped off the dirt that had gotten on her clothes when she had been stepped on and when she was avoiding it, not knowing that on the other side of the door, An and Anny were waiting for her to come out of the school.
An and Anny crept up to the outside of the doors, each holding something that they found lying around that they hoped would help them catch their traitorous friend inside.
Anny held a traffic cone she had found near the teacher's parking lot and An had somehow managed to find a net… somewhere around there.
"Weasel-woman's still inside, An." Anny told her tall, dopey friend, "Once she comes out, let her have it! Then I'll grab the report cards." Anny explained, not knowing that on the other side of the door, Double-N was cowering besides the door where her friend's silhouettes came through, wondering how she could counter their plans.
While there were other exits out of the school, she'd still have to pass where her friends were currently standing to get to the cul-de-sac. She'd have to find a way to get past them without getting caught, but how? She stood by the door, shaking and sweating racking her large brain for a solution to her dilemma.
"AN-GIRL!" Rachel shouted, making Double-N leap in surprise so high that her head crashed through the ceiling tiles so only her lower half was hanging from it, which, although it hurt, she was pleased that she had enough strength in her legs to jump that high. Rachel was also surprised at Double-N's high jump, but she quickly tossed that aside, she needed help and the Double-N-An girl was always willing to aid others when needed. She put down her rucksack and yanked the brainy An girl down by her ankles, who, when finally pulled free from the ceiling, collapsed a bit on herself while Rachel explained that, "Rachel asks a favor from you."
Double-N adjusted the strap of her satchel so it was once again over her shoulder, her head still woozy from bashing into the ceiling and stars dancing in front of her eyes.
"Have mercy," Rachel managed while straining to lift a heavy typewriter off of the floor and staggered back by the sheer weight of it before managing to hold it over her sack, "And hold Rachel's rucksack so that Rachel can carry this cursed menace home for further torment!" she begged, her knees shaking under the weight of the device in her hands. Double-N looked at Rachel's rucksack and her mind began to reel, she knew exactly how she could get past her best friends!
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Outside, Anny and An were waiting diligently outside the doorway, Anny smiled triumphantly, she may not be as smart as Double-N, but she did know that this entrance was the closest to the cul-de-sac and that at the very least that she would have to pass this part of the school to head towards home. So there was no way Double-N could get past them without getting caught.
The door wobbled open, Anny glanced at the doors, eager to see the look of defeat on their brainy friend's face when she saw that they managed to trap her. An looked over too, pleased at the sound, and while she didn't like having to hunt her friend down like this, she really didn't want to live with her aunt. And besides, Anny said that once they turned all their Fs into As, Bs and Cs, everything would be alright again. Anny popped out from the side of the door as it opened, brandishing her neon orange traffic cone as if it were a weapon and leaping...
At a very surprised Rachel.
Anny stopped in mid-air, her traffic cone frozen in mid-swing, "Rachel?" she cried, confused. An, however, did not stop and caught both of them, pinning Anny on top of Rachel in the net while she smiled with pride that she caught something. She lifted them up, shifting Anny and Rachel in the net so Rachel was upside down and squishing Anny a bit, her face contorted into a look of pure confusion and shock as her brain tried to figure out what just happened.
Anny's face was contorted into a look of pure rage and frustration as she felt her temper begin to boil.
"I GOT UM, ANNY! GOOD FOR ME!" An cried, ecstatic at what she just did, forgetting that they were supposed to catch Double-N and not Anny and Rachel.
Anny growled, quickly wiggling up so she was at the top of the net, she glared at An, frustrated, "AN, YOU IDIOT!" she howled, then yanked up Rachel by her sweater, "Does Rachel look like Double-N?" she asked.
It was a rhetorical question, but An, being An, didn't pick up on that. Honestly she didn't even know what a rhetorical was, all she knew was that Anny had asked her a question, and usually when Anny asked either her or Double-N questions, she expected answers. An paused for a moment, then pressed her face up against a nervous and confused Rachel's then turned away, tapping on her chin with one hand and holding up that arm with her other hand, leaving the net with Rachel and Anny hovering for a moment in mid-air inside the net only to fall painfully to the ground while An thought about how she would respond to Anny's question.
She smiled broadly as the answer dawned on her and turned around back towards the two girls in pain on the pavement, wiggling her fingers with excitement as she replied, "Maybe with a hat?" then gave them a large, toothy smile. Anny quickly leapt to her feet and glared at her, shaking with rage, before shoving her traffic cone onto An's head so everything above her nose was sticking out of the little hole in the top.
Anny looked at An for a moment, her mouth pulled into a small frown, her eyes narrowed as if she were annoyed, which she was. She was also still mad, but knew An was An, she would mess up, she would break stuff, she would occasionally ruin scams, but An was still on of her best friends and she'd need her to stop her other best friend from delivering their report cards to their parents before they could 'correct' them and fix this stupid mess.
An blinked trying to process what the heck just happened while Anny walked past her and glanced inside, squinting at the glass to see if Double-N was there. Seeing it was empty, she turned and put her hand along side her mouth, although she was loud enough without the need to amplify her voice by any means.
"Hey, Rach! Ya see Double-N?" she asked the blue-haired farm girl scurrying away, dragging her rucksack behind her as fast as she could across the football field.
She glanced back at Anny and An nervously, sweat dripping down her forehead, then looked away, "Double-N-An girl?" she asked, then gave Anny and An a nervous, guilty smile as she continued on to say, "I am an innocent Daughter of a Shepherd! Heh, I know nothing." She assured them with a nervous laugh as she began hefting her bag over her shoulder, "Good bye!" she said quickly, her knees shaking from the weight of the bag's contents, not knowing that the stitches on the back of the bag were slowly beginning to give way to the heavy load inside.
Finally the bottom of her back ripped open and spilled out onto the football field, Rachel looked anxiously back at her bag, then up at the two An girls on the steps leading up to the school.
A school book, various papers, a scythe, an accordion, a broth jug, a dead fish slid out of her bag, only then for a typewriter to come tumbling out of it…
With Double-N sliding out of it as if she was a sheet of paper, her body flat as she rolled out of the machine.
"IT'S THE RAT!" Anny shrieked angrily, leaping up into the air, her legs revving in mid-air as she called, "GET HER AN!" An looked at her, the cone still stuck on her head, apprehensive about chasing their best friend like this, but she really, really didn't want to stay with her aunt.
Double-N leapt from the type writer and began running for her life towards the bike racks while Rachel shouted, "RUN, AN GIRL! RUN LIKE THE WIND!" As if anyone needed to tell her that, but the concern was still nice as she dashed away from an angry Anny and an An.
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Karen was polishing up her bike, eager for her and Nate to go home together as always. But this time it would be different, see normally she would ride her bike home alongside with Nate, who'd be doing tricks with his skateboard beside her. Unfortunately last week it had become a casualty in one of the Ans' scams, which gave Karen an opportunity to get closer to him, making her grateful for the trios' seemingly endless incompetence.
Her plan was to offer him a ride home with her pedaling and him sitting on the handle bars, and knowing Nate as well as she did, he knew he wouldn't make her pedal him home and instead insist that he'd pedal and she could sit on the handle bars.
She was overjoyed that he had agreed to her terms, but then she had noticed a bird dropping on the seat, she nonchalantly polished her bike so it was sparkling before they took it out for a spin, she didn't want Nate to sit in bird dung. She smiled confidently as she turned to him, he was smiling easily at her as she purred, "Choice. Cruise or Lose?" she asked, indicating her now spotless bike. Nate chuckled as he passed, "Hey, cruise or lose! That rhymed!" he chuckled as he leaned back to sit on the now bird-poop free seat, only for Double-N to dash past them, grabbing the handle bars of Karen's bike and pulls it away as Nate goes to sit down, resulting in him landing on his butt, surprised. Karen winced at that, thinking about how that must have hurt while Double-N cried out, "Please forgive me, but this is an emergency!"
Karen scowled, angry, it may be okay when the Ans messed up their own plans, but when they messed up her plans to get closer with Nate, they crossed a serious line. Karen ran after her, shouting, "HEY! GIVE ME BACK MY BIKE!" while waving her fist in the air, ready to pound Double-N for taking her bike and ruining everything, her fury making her vision tunnel so all she saw was Double-N in front of her, pathetically pedaling and panting, she was so focused that she didn't hear An and Anny quickly coming up behind her, An pushing a dolly (a wheeled thing that you use to move heavy boxes) with Anny standing in it, livid.
The other two Ans ran her over, An shouting "BEEP BEEP!" as they did, as if they were passing her on the road while Anny was furiously grinding her teeth. Karen was motionless on the ground, stars spinning in front of her eyes and pain searing through her mangled body. She laid on the sidewalk for a moment, letting the worst of the pain pass as she let her anger ferment.
One thing was for sure, when she got her hands on Double-N, she was dead meat.
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Double-N felt awful about taking Karen's bike, but she really didn't have many other options, she hoped that, after all this was over, she could explain her actions and hopefully not get beaten to a bloody pulp.
Her energy was waning as she pedaled through the construction site, sweat pouring down her back, ugg, she loathed getting sweaty! Although she knew it was the natural way her body cooled down, it made her feel all sticky and gross when the water had evaporated off of her skin.
'Focus, Ann,' she thought, 'you currently have bigger problems that need addressing here.' She glanced back to see if Karen was still chasing her, but she saw no one and she no longer heard her angry shouts so she guessed that she had gotten away. She couldn't find any sign of An or Anny either, so she figured she must have outran them. She felt a small amount of hope in her chest as she made it to the fenced maze that encircled the cul-de-sac, she had a lead and she was nearly there. This horrible nightmare of being hunted down by her best friends would soon be over!
She was still glancing over her shoulder, just to double check that neither An, Anny or Karen were following her only for a homemade blue and purple bead necklace to fall over her head and around her neck, she nearly jumped out of her skin in surprise. She turned around so she could see where she was going, wondering where the necklace had come from. Her eyes widened and she immediately began to break, causing clouds of dust to fly into the air as she skidded to a slower pace…
So she wouldn't run into the 'float' (it was a wagon with a big hunk of wood on it that was covered by a tablecloth, fake flowers covering the 'base', and on top of that were two stools that were made to look like a winged unicorn with a broom tail and a long stick with a white bulb-shaped head and a box on top of the stools to look like the body with wings drawn on the sides.) Jamie was standing on, wearing a crown and lots of bead necklaces while looking quite pleased with herself, although, it seemed very dangerous to stand on such unstable looking thing while it was moving. Sam was pulling it along while riding a tricycle, although Double-N couldn't fathom why he was riding a tricycle when he had a perfectly good bike at home to use instead. But at least he looked happy.
Slowly moving along the road Double-N needed to go through to get to the cul-de-sac before An, Anny and Karen came to beat the living tar out of her.
Jamie took off some of the necklaces around her neck threw them to various stuffed animals and toys that somehow had been propped up so they could be seen from over the fence.
"Throw one here, Lady!" Jamie said, acting as if one of the many stuffed animals had called out to her. "Okay!" she happily replied, tossing more and more necklaces on the toys, "Here you go! Welcome to Sam and Jamie's After-School Carnival!" She tossed a few more necklaces, "Tea and cake for everybody!" she squealed.
Double-N's body flooded with adrenaline, she needed to get past them or she was doomed!
"Pardon me!" she cried, hoping the two kids would be reasonable and that Sam wouldn't try to murder her, "Excuse me! Slow moving vehicles to the right, please!" She then gave a nervous smile that almost screamed, "PLEASE MOVE OR I'M GONNA DIE!"
Jamie flinched as if Double-N hit her and put her hand beside her mouth to amplify her cry of, "Rabblerousers, Sam!" Sam turned around, his face no longer happy and smiling, but now outraged and threatening.
"WHAT?" he shouted angrily, staring daggers at Double-N whose whole body began to shake with fear.
At that point, there was only one thing Double-N could do…
Ride away as fast as she could from the vicious little brat on the tricycle.
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An ran like the wind as they tried to catch up to Double-N while Anny was shouting for their brainy companion to, "GIVE US THOSE REPORT CARDS!"
To Anny's surprise, Double-N dashed past them, her face filled with panic and fear. An hadn't seemed to notice her pass by as she continued to dash forward without a care in the world (since she had forgotten what they were doing again) Anny leapt up the support bars of the dolly and leapt onto An's face, wrapping her legs around her eyes and pointed back where they had came from, "THAT A WAY, AN!" she ordered. An turned her head towards the direction they had came from, making Anny see what Double-N had been fleeing from, her eyes going wide with panic, "Which a way, Anny?" An asked, unaware of the danger they were quickly approaching.
"SAM, AN!" Anny shrieked, panic evident in her voice as she watched the incensed brat quickly pedal towards them on a tricycle, his angry face promising whomever he caught was in for a brutal beat down.
The only thing that made Anny not hop off of An and run for it was the fact that he was riding a tricycle, honestly, how lame was that? He had his own big boy bike at home so why ride that ridiculous thing? Anny was almost embarrassed for him.
Almost.
An didn't bother turning her head back towards her charging little brother, and instead shouted, "SAM NOT GOOD FOR AN, ANNY!" Jarring Anny around on her head a bit. Anny quickly grabbed the handle and angled it so they could do a wide U-turn that destroyed a part on the fence on one side and continue to destroy the fence on the other of the alleyway they were in. Anny cheering, "GO, LUMPY GO!" as An raced to flee from her angry tricycle-riding little brother, making fence posts fling to either side as she ran.
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Double-N cursed her bad luck as she saw Peach Creek Junior High come into view. Thanks to Sam and Jamie's 'Carn-i-val', she was right back where she had started.
'At least I'm safe from Sam.' She thought.
Only for her to suddenly realize that, despite her pedaling, she was going nowhere, she felt oddly unbalanced. She felt her blood turn to ice as she looked down to see Karen snarling at her as she held her bike in the air, the wheels spinning uselessly in the air.
"Any last words before I pound ya?" she demanded, luckily for Double-N, An and Anny, once again, ran Karen over with the dolly, Anny's legs still wrapped around An's eyes so she couldn't see. Anny snatched her friend off of the bike by her leg, causing her to cry out in surprise. Leaving Karen twitching on the sidewalk, pain pulsing through her body and leaving Karen's bike hovering in the air until Sam rode up to them. Then the bike suddenly felt the effect of gravity and smashed Sam into the ground. "BEEP BEEP!" An cried again as they passed, although if it was because they ran Karen over again despite Anny's legs completely blocking her eyes or she felt like saying it was unknown.
But it's An, what do you all expect?
If Anny hadn't been so wrapped up in getting her bad report card back, she'd probably be laughing hysterically at Sam and Karen's bad luck, especially since Sam's eyes bulging out of his head and his tongue sticking out thanks to the wheel that had landed on his head, but Anny knew she faced a worse fate then Sam or Karen if her parents saw that report card covered in Fs!
An blindly dashed across the street towards the forest shouting, "BEEP BEEP!" With Anny clinging to An's head with her feet and one of her hands while hanging on to Double-N's leg, "HA!" Anny cried triumphantly, "END OF THE ROAD MISS DO-GOODER!" she then angrily ordered for her to "HAND OVER THOSE REPORT CARDS!"
Double-N needed to think fast, she quickly shuffled through her satchel, silently praying it had something that could help her in this situation.
Pencils? No.
Paper? No.
Umbrella… Double-N's mind reeled as she noticed an incoming branch that was just a little out of her reach. She quickly pulled out her blue umbrella and caught the branch with it's hook-shaped handle, the branch was sturdy, but so were her friends. Her friends sped forward, Anny held on to Double-N's leg as tightly as she could, stretching her a bit until Anny's fingers began to slip, one by one. Until Double-N was completely free from Anny's clutches. She was then flung into the air by the branch, only, since An had yanked the tree back so far, after it flung Double-N into the air, it launched her friends into the ground, knocking off all it's leaves in the process before righting itself. Double-N opened her umbrella and used it as a parachute of sorts as she drifted away from her friends, Mary Poppins style. An sat up, and since Anny was still sitting on her head, she came with her. Anny angrily tossed the crushed dolly to the side, as if their friend's escape was it's fault. The two Ans then watched as their friend floated away, becoming smaller and smaller in the distance. Both she and Anny were covered in scratches and bruises and leaves, both of their hair were total messes, their clothes were torn and their bodies ached, but they hardly gave it much thought as they stared, dumbfounded, up at their shrinking, floating friend.
"How'd she do that?" Anny asked, amazed at her brainy friend's clever escape. An started to sob beneath her, she then grabbed Anny's legs, "SHE'S TOO SMART FOR US, ANNY!" she bawled as she swung her in the air so she would become flat, then honked her nose into Anny's flat form, covering her in snot. She then held a disgusted Anny upside down by her pants, making her shirt ride up and revealing the top of her white panties with red polka dots as gravity tried to make Anny leave them. "WE'LL NEVER CATCH HER!" An sobbed loudly. She then dropped Anny, who made a face of complete and utter disgust at the layer of snot that covered her entire body.
Anny lay flat on her stomach in the dirt for a moment, processing. If their parents saw their report cards, they'd probably never be allowed see each other again.
'The heck I'm gonna let that happen.' Anny thought with a growl as she quickly wiped the snot off of her and stood up, accidently smacking An right where her chin would be with the top of her head, "Don't count your biscuits before they hatch, Lumpy!" she said, determined while An wobbled from the blow, stars dancing in front of her eyes before she fell backwards onto the ground.
Not that Anny noticed, her frustration over the whole situation was starting to get out of control, she was starting to crack from all the strain of hunting down her best friend and trying to keep her from delivering something that could very well lead to her own murder via her parents.
She didn't wanna die.
Finally, desperation and rage had completely clouded the fact that Double-N was one of her best friends from her mind, it clouded everything except for one thing;
The only thing that was keeping Anny and An from their report cards was Double-N.
"Sock head may be smart," Anny reasoned aloud, pacing back and forth, "But she's weak!" She said, rubbing her hands together. Anny then smiled evilly as she lifted her hands into the air and cried, "AND SHE'LL NEVER DELIVER THOSE REPORT CARDS ALIVE! AHAHAHAHAHAHA!" she laughed evilly. An hopped up off of the ground, pulled a surprised Anny into a big hug and happily cried, "I'M ALIVE, ANNY! I'M ALIVE!" the word alive echoing in the empty woods.
After Anny told her to "put me down." She watched Double-N for a minute, seeing that she was heading towards the construction site while An kept singing how she was alive. Anny then got annoyed and told her to knock it off or she'd fix that real quick, then her mind began to reel.
Death. Funeral. Burial.
Anny smiled, she knew exactly how to stop Double-N in her tracks.
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Double-N glanced about nervously as she finally floated down towards the construction site. When she finally landed by the corner of a fenced off area, she quickly shoved her umbrella back into her satchel, grateful for her mother's insistence on bringing one to school with her every day, even when it wasn't raining. She began running as fast as she could, glancing around wildly like a wounded animal. First her friends call her a traitor and stick to her all day, then they start hunting her for their report cards, then Karen wanted to 'pound' her for borrowing her bike (that she had intended to return unscathed and apologize again for taking it so suddenly and without prior consent to do so) and then Sam wanted to murder her for simply asking for them to move aside so she could move past them.
'What an awful day.' She thought to herself as she huffed and puffed towards the cul-de-sac. When she suddenly heard Anny's voice…
From below?
Double-N skidded to a stop, barely stopping over the edge and nearly fell into an enormous pit as Anny said, "Darla-Do-The-Right-Thing doesn't have a chance, An." Once Double-N had steadied herself, she got a good look inside the pit as Anny told An that, "It's brawn over brains, I tell ya."
Double-N wasn't sure if she was more shocked or confused by the sight.
Anny and An were at the bottom of the pit, An was digging with a hockey stick and a rake, smiling, most likely in her own little world as she worked. Anny looked up at Double-N and smirked triumphantly, "AHA! You're trapped!" she cried, "There's no escaping now, smart gal! Now hand over those report cards!" she demanded, holding out her hands eagerly.
Anny felt pride flood through her veins, how could she have not thought of this before? She was related to a Booby trap whizz for crying out loud, and a pit was the oldest trick in the book. At least, that's what her sister had told her, she never actually heard how one would trap someone in there, she'd fallen into one, but she hadn't really been paying attention to what was in front of her at the time and she certainly was at her sister's mercy from the bottom of that pit. Anny knew from experience that it wasn't easy to climb out of a pit if it was deep enough, not that Double-N could climb very well to start with, or do anything physically straining for that matter. So the two Ans dashed to the construction site first and An started digging. Anny felt like a genius, which, when she got her report card, will make her feel all the more justified to correct it.
Double-N looked down at her friends plainly. Seriously? This was the best plan her friends could come up with to stop her?
This had to be, without a doubt, the most completely and utterly idiotic plan to capture an individual for a certain good that she'd ever seen in her entire life. Honestly, they came up with amazing scams almost every week for a few quarters and this was the best they came up with for getting their report cards back?
If Double-N had any doubts about delivering these report cards before, she sure didn't have any now. If her friends were stupid enough to think that idea would work then they needed to get education assistance they could get as soon as possible and the only way they'd do that is if their parents got involved. She jogged around the pit and continued on her way.
Anny looked up and saw that Double-N walked around the pit and left, "She's getting away!" she turned to An, fuming while the simple girl before her dug deeper into the earth with a smile on her face, not realizing that Double-N had left, all the while chanting, "Dig a hole, dig a hole." Anny's face contorted into angrier and angrier faces as An failed to realize that Double-N had just gotten away before kicking her hard in the rear, launching her into the air.
"YOU SHOULD HAVE DUG DEEPER!" Anny shouted up at her, pointing an accusatory finger up at her. An then crashed down onto Anny's head with her own, pressing their heads back into their bodies, and Anny to wobble around from the possible concussion she and An now both had from the blow to the head. When they finally parted, Anny began pacing again, thinking.
'Come on!' she told herself, 'Think! We have to stop Double-N from delivering those report cards!' she stopped pacing for a moment and rubbed her temples with her knuckles.
'Something that could stop Double-N, something that could stop Double-N…' then it hit her. What was the one thing all three Ans feared more then anything else and they would do anything to get away from?
Anny smirked impishly, "Kankers."
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Double-N rounded a corner, panting and sweating, she was exhausted, but she couldn't stop now, the faster she got An and Anny academic help, the better. She increased her pace, her legs screaming in protest.
'For An and Anny.' She told her fatigued limbs, 'You're doing this for An and Anny!'
Then, to her utter and complete shock, An burst through the fence right in front of her, holding what looked like a giant white triangle in her mouth as she pulled something into the lane in front of her, stopping as soon as her path was block and saying, "Ouch." Double-N skidded to a stop and looked upon the object that was between her and her friend's education redemption.
The Kanker brother's trailer.
Anny was atop the mobile home of horrors, clinging to a weird antenna on the roof, she wobbled for a moment after An stopped, then found her limbs in a knot behind her, latching her to the antenna, her body was twisted and she was obviously in a lot of pain, but her jubilant smile radiated with glee.
"HA! Just like our report cards, you failed!" Anny called down to her.
Double-N stood there for a moment, stunned.
Unlike the pit plan, this one was actually quite ingenious. She would never think about using the Kankers if she was in their situation, and she certainly would never have the guts to go through with it even if she considered the idea, it was far too hazardous. Any An near the trailer park had a high chance of getting caught by the amorous brothers, especially if the Ans were out numbered. Honestly, it was a move that was more likely to reap risk then reward. She had to give her friends kudos on this one. It was truly a brilliant plan. It was also very dangerous and compelling, but those were usually the kind of things her friends excelled at, and unlike her, they ran faster and longer then she could, so even if they had been seen, they could flee more efficiently then she could. It certainly was a gamble just to deter her from completing her mission of delivering their report cards.
And, unfortunately, it was working.
Double-N was torn. It was either go into the Kanker infested trailer and risk Larie tearing her skirt off and covering her with hickeys, or let her friends get held back a year and start high school without her best friends in the whole wide world.
Stay away from her stalker and have to be separated from her friends next year or endure what will most likely be another horrible encounter with Larie Kanker and have them be mad at her for trying to save them from being held back a year. She took in a breath, then let it out, defeated.
She had to do it. There was no other option, and even though she hated it, there was only one thing she could do. Anny looked at her, sneering at her, pleased that she had outwitted the brains of their group. An walked over towards them and began untying Anny from the antenna.
"Well?" Anny asked, wanting to know Double-N's decision.
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The Kanker brothers were happily slurping up platefuls of meatloaf. Meatloaf Monday was a tradition in their household, since the nearby supermarket would have huge slash sales on Sunday nights on the packages of meat that only had a few days left before they expired, so the Kankers would stock up and since their Dad had some time during the day, he'd make his boys a couple meatloaves for dinner. They loved it, it was one of the few days that they didn't have to eat instant noodles or peanut butter and ketchup sandwiches for dinner, but meatloaf. Something normal families ate for dinner on a regular basis. The only thing that would have made it better was if their dad could be home to eat with them, but he two jobs to support the three brothers and they needed every penny he made. After all, they were growing boys, they ate a lot and were getting bigger in awkward spurts.
Tee poked his finger into his meatloaf, then balanced his third helping on his finger and eagerly opened his mouth as he pressed it into his mouth, drool splattering all over his face while his finger was still in his mouth while Larie shoved his plate into his face and slurped his third serving into his mouth and licked the plate clean. Tee then yanked his finger out of his mouth and the two swallowed their dinner, joyful smiles on their faces as they chewed. Jay pulled out a garden shovel and a wrench as he went to eat what would be his fourth serving and was the last meatloaf. Jay was about to dig in, Larie tilted the table, launching the meatloaf into the air and smacking Jay right in the buck teeth, he smiled as he opened his mouth, eagerly awaiting the meatloaf that was coming towards his mouth…
Only for Tee to swipe it in midair as Larie was about to take a bite and shoved it into his mouth, licking his lips.
They sat at the table, rubbing their full bellies when Double-N came in through the doorway, her hand over her eyes, "Oh dear, I hope you're decent!" She said anxiously. The three brothers watched as she crossed the room, wondering why she had her hands covering her eyes, and what did she mean by 'decent?' then it hit them and Tee and Jay gave Larie a look that said, 'Great, now our girls think all of us are skirt stealing scallywags like you, thanks a lot.' Not that Larie really noticed them do that, or really care. He was too busy watching Double-N as she asked them to, "Pardon me, excuse me!" as she dashed towards the kitchen window, her eyes still covered. If he had been thinking clearly, he might ask himself what she was doing in their trailer still wearing her school tie, since she normally removed it once she arrived home, but due to the fact that Double-N willingly entered his home, he wasn't really thinking all that clearly. The Kankers never did when it came to the Ans. (Author: seriously) Larie smiled goofily at the sight of her, he got meatloaf and he was gonna get his Muffin.
Monday was starting to become Larie's favorite day of the week.
"Get back here!" Anny snapped as she and An were giving chase into the kitchen, "You wiry little…!"
Tee smirked and slid out his foot, causing Anny to trip, she caught herself in time and glared at him, "Hey! What's with you?" she asked, annoyed as the brothers began to chuckle, they had been planning on looking for the Ans after dinner, but the girls seemed to have done that for them. An stopped and stood beside Anny smiling nervously and hoping she realized that they were inside the Kanker's trailer!
Tee stood up, smirking, at the sight of Tee's smirk, Anny finally realized that, while the Kanker's trailer was dangerous for Double-N, it was also dangerous for her and An.
"Looks like desserts shown up," Tee said, hardly able to contain his enormous grin on his face, "Just in time, huh boys?" he leaned in towards Anny, "Mmm, shortcake, my fav." Anny cowered as Jay walked up next to Tee and added, "and a tall milkshake!" He looked at An and licked his lips. An pulled up her striped shirt to cover her mouth, hoping if Jay couldn't see it, then he couldn't kiss her. Larie looked around, "Hey, where'd my Muffin go?" he said, annoyed that his brothers were gonna get to enjoy the sweetness of their girlfriends' kisses without him and Double-N. As Anny and An protested, he saw the kitchen window swing out then back in.
His dessert was getting away.
Larie stuck his head out of the window just as she turned the corner into the cul-de-sac, then he wondered how their trailer got here without them noticing, he noticed bite marks on the thing that they used when they wanted to move the trailer but where did they come from? And, while he was asking questions, why did she just abandon her friends here and go on ahead, that certainly wasn't like Double-N, she never abandoned her friends.
Now that he thought about it, all the Ans had acted so weird today, An and Anny had pretty much glued themselves to Double-N all day at school and now her friends were chasing her and seemed pretty angry about her running away. Why? Were they trying to protect Double-N? That would make sense, after all, the Ans stuck together no matter what, but why would Double-N need protecting? And from who? Larie knew only one way he was gonna find any answers and that was to follow her and figure it out, so he leapt out of the window and ran to the cul-de-sac as more questions popped into his mind.
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Double-N's knuckles were almost dragging on the ground when she finally made it to the cul-de-sac, "Tired." She moaned, "So tired." She was so exhausted the weight of her bag pulled her to the ground and she flopped backwards onto her back. She just laid there a while, sweating. "I can't go on." She said, cursing her lack of endurance for the upteenth time today. "Oh, so close!" she said, then she remembered why she was doing this and pulled herself back up, she was not going to let her friends down! She had to do this!
"I must!" she smiled, "I will!" she began racing forward, "I shall!" she made it to Anny's front porch, panting and out of breath, but she had made it! She took in a breath and puffed out her chest and called out to Anny and An, wherever they were, "I COMMEND YOUR EFFORTS, LADIES!" she shouted, "BUT AS ALWAYS," she then lifted up her satchel, "THE SANCTUM OF EDUCATION CHAMPIONS THE DAY!" she finished with a smile on her face, finally, after everything she had been through today, she had finally won. She was about to knock on the door when Anny threw open the door and threw An at her.
Anny and An managed to slip away by flinging a random meatloaf they'd found and throwing it across the room so Tee and Jay could fight over it like wild animals while they escaped.
An got up off of the ground, her face covered in bright pink hickeys and Double-N squashed against her chest, only her face, fingers and satchel were visible on An's chest. An glanced around, trying to find Double-N, but couldn't find her, her face went from determined to concerned as she moved her head from side to side. Anny hopped out onto her front lawn, she too, had hickeys all over her face, and began looking around for their brainy friend. Anny spotted a dazed Double-N crushed against An's chest like an empty soda can. She stared at her for a second, then smiled impishly as she poked Double-N's satchel, "Who's the smart girl now, huh?" she asked, she then dashed around An and banged a fist against her back, making Double-N pop out and her satchel go flying. Anny caught it before it touched the ground and, with a wide smile flipped it open before diving in and tore through it, throwing Double-N's things all over as she looked for her and An's report cards.
Double-N got up and smiled triumphantly as Anny tossed out the last thing and righted herself with the satchel on her head, she squeezed her head out and looked into the bag, panicked, "What the?" she held the bag over her head and shook it up and down, hoping it was just stuck somewhere and she could jar them loose out of the empty bag, "Where'd the report cards go?" Anny asked, confused and concerned, had they lost the report cards through all the running around they had been doing ever since school let out?
Suddenly the air was filled with the sound of a badly played trumpet. Anny turned and looked over to see that Jamie, Jenny, Plankette and Rachel were all in their Urban Ranger's uniforms. Rachel was standing proudly on a small stoop in the middle of the cul-de-sac, red carpet trailed from the steps to the sidewalk a flowered bush on either side of the steps and the Urban Ranger flag waved majestically in the autumn breeze. Jenny, who was the one playing the trumpet badly, and Plankette, who was glad she had no ears, were on Rachel's right and Jamie was on her left, doing the Urban Ranger's salute. Jenny continued to suck at playing the trumpet for a little while until it was obvious that even her fellow rangers could not endure the sound anymore, then she stopped.
"Congratulations, Ranger Rachel!" Jamie said with a broad smile on her face, "On your task well completed!" she reached into her pocket and said, "It is an honor to present to you, the 'Report Card Delivery Badge'!" Jamie said proudly.
"Yes, thank you, yes, that's good, thank you." Rachel mumbled proudly as Jamie pinned the red circular badge with the image of a hand passing a sheet of paper on it to her vest, "Rachel is pleased!" Rachel cried happily once the badge was pinned to her chest, her eyes wide with pride as she did the Urban Ranger's salute.
"Our report cards?" Anny said, confused. While An happily clapped for Rachel's good fortune, not realizing that the achievement she was clapping for was probably going to land her at her Aunt's house.
Double-N popped off the ground, deciding now would be a good time to explain her actions and why she did it.
"Honestly, I just feel sick about all this." She said, truly meaning it. An finally realized that Rachel had just delivered her awful report card to her parents and started to cry. She was going to have to live with her Aunt and her aunt's mustache and her aunt's cats and her butter-less toast. And worst of all she'd never get to see Anny or Double-N ever again! She sat down on Anny's lawn hung her head and began to bawl while Jamie, Jenny and Plankette all bowed down to Rachel in the background.
"But when the principal asked me to take on this responsibility, I had no other recourse other then to accept." Double-N continued as Anny glanced back at Rachel and her worshipers, she snarled angrily and stomped towards her, fuming, "And risk you begin upset for your own good." She added as Anny angrily reached for her, only for a big pair of meaty, male hands to grab them. Anny began to sweat nervously, "Dad?" she squeaked, fear blaring in her voice, "Wait, um, the grades are in Greek this year! I did good, I swear!" she cried as her father dragged her inside to discuss her poor grades. Suddenly a dainty female arm reached out and pinched An's ear, "Uh oh." She said as the hand began dragging her towards her house by her ear, "NO AUNTIE FOR AN, MOMMY! NO AUNTY FOR AN!" An begged as her mother pulled her inside and slammed the door.
Double-N picked up her satchel and quickly placed all of her belongings back to their proper places inside, not knowing Larie had just entered the cul-de-sac and spotted her. "Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear," she said, slipping her satchel over her shoulder, she sighed, "I guess some lessons have to be learned the hard way…" she said softly, feeling awful for this whole mess.
"Ain't that the truth?" a familiar voice asked before cackling deviously. Double-N looked up and saw Karen sitting on the remains of her bike. She froze and began to back away, fear bright in her eyes.
Larie saw this and walked forward, not liking the way Karen was smirking at his girlfriend and clenching his fists.
"Look, Karen, I am very sorry for what happened to your bike…" Double-N said nervously as she continued to back away while Karen casually slipped off of her bike seat and walked towards her, cracking her knuckles.
It was like the last piece finally fell into place. He looked at the beat up bike, then remembered overhearing that chick with the really big round head tell that piece of wood she talks to all the time about some scam the Ans did accidently lead to someone's ride getting destroyed. She must have been talking about Karen's bike! So that's why Anny and An had been sticking to her all day, they were trying to protect her from Karen. But would she only blame Double-N for her bike being broken when the Ans scammed together? He thought about that, then remembered that most of the cool things in their scams were made by Double-N, so Karen probably blamed her since she probably made whatever wrecked her bike. Double-N must have wanted to try and talk it out with Karen in hopes that they could make peace but An and Anny wouldn't let her risk it.
The bite marks must have been from An and Anny moving the trailer to stop her from trying to meet up with Karen for what would probably be a bad beat down instead of a peaceful talk and apology, probably suggesting that she come to him to help her with Karen, but she didn't do that, she ran in and hoped that he was decent, probably so her friends wouldn't freak out when they followed her in, annoyed that she didn't ask Larie for help and instead leaving them with him and his brothers so they'd be safe in case Karen decided to take her rage about her bike on all three of them instead of just her if it went south. Larie let a small smile creep up his face, his girlfriend was so caring and brave to want to face someone who could easily beat her alone to keep her friends safe, it wasn't exactly the wisest thing to do, but it was noble and something she would do for her friends.
"Oh, you're going to be." Karen promised her as she stomped toward her, pushing up her sleeves. Double-N turned and tried to make a run for it, but after running around all afternoon, she hardly got far before Karen tripped her and placed her foot on her chest, "Any last words, dork?" she asked darkly, not knowing Larie was standing right behind her, Double-N's eyes widened and she cried, "KANKER!" Karen put more pressure on Double-N's chest.
"Pftt, yeah right, as if I'd fall for that." Karen spat as she reeled her arm back for a satisfying punch, only for her to feel it twist behind her and yanked back so she saw a very angry Larie Kanker glaring at her.
"Double-N doesn't lie." He snarled, he then tossed her off of Double-N so she would skid into the pavement, he then cracked his own knuckles and got to work.
Double-N pulled herself up into a sitting position and looked towards Karen and Larie, only for her to cover her eyes so she couldn't watch the beating Larie was giving Karen for picking on her. She felt a pat on the shoulder and heard him say, "It's over, you can look now." She moved her hands away from her eyes and saw him standing over her, he held out his hand, "You okay, Muffin?" he asked, sounding legitimately concerned for her well being. She took it and he helped her up, "Yes, uh, thank you, Larie, for coming to my aid." She said politely, letting her hand slip away from his so she could brush herself off.
He said nothing, and watched her do so, when she was finished he said, "If she gives you anymore trouble tell me, alright? I'll take care of it." He said plainly. She looked at him, stunned, "Oh, well, thank you, Larie, that's very nice of you." She finally replied. They stood there for a minute, both a little pink in the face, then Larie couldn't really hold back any longer and pounced on her, pinned her to the ground and covered her in hickeys before heading home. Double-N picked herself off the ground and managed to drag herself home, where she collapsed on the couch, "and to think, for a moment, he seemed like a decent young man." She mumbled. And with that, she snuggled into the couch and fell fast asleep.
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A few hours later, the phone rang and Double-N groaned as she pulled her sore body off of the couch and picked up the phone.
"Hello?"
"Hey Sockhead, it's me and An." Anny said, "Look, our parents told us that our report cards came with a note from the principal that said we're at risk of being held back a year if we don't get better grades next quarter, is that true?"
"Yes. That's why I didn't want you to alter your report cards, a report card tells you what you've already gotten, you can't change what's in the system and all hiding it does is delay getting the help you need. And that's why I had Rachel take them to your parents for me, I couldn't hurt you two like that, but I knew you two needed help with your grades or else we wouldn't be able to go to high school together and to do that, well, your parents had to see your report cards." Double-N explained, pleased that her friends were finally listening, "I am very sorry I did that though, I can see why you thought I was a traitor…"
"My mom said that the note said that the principal said that you said I'm observant and inspiteful." An said.
"Insightful, An, insightful." Double-N corrected.
"You said that I have talents and that I could do good at school if the teachers tried to help me." An continued.
"Yeah, and you apparently told him that unless I find something useful, I don't try to learn it." Anny said, "but that when I think something will be useful to me, I actually try, something about you comparing me to Sherlock Holmes… Then something about showing me how half the junk they try to teach me will be useful will help me do better…" the phone was silent for a minute before Anny said, "I'm sorry I called you a traitor, I was just mad."
"An is sorry too."
"We're all sorry." Double-N said, "But that won't solve this problem, but how about I tutor you two and help you understand some of the material we're going through? Since I understand what you two need to succeed, it seems only natural that I tutor you."
"YAY! AN WILL GET TO SEE HER FRIENDS EVEN THOUGH SHE IS GROUNDED!"
"Sounds good to me too, hey Double-N, could you just do one thing?"
"What would that be, Anny?"
"Could you charge our folks, not a lot, but just enough for us all to enjoy some jawbreakers or fudge or something after we study? I'm grounded too and I can't have desserts for a month and with the fact that An's parents take her stairs away when she's grounded, I think we'll both need a pick me up."
Double-N smiled, "Sounds good to me. We'll start after school tomorrow."
After a few more minutes they all got off the phone and Double-N ate some left over spaghetti and went to bed, pleased that everything turned out all right.
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Larie and his brothers dragged the trailer back to the trailer park. When they came back inside, Tee looked over at his blue-haired brother, "Did you get your dessert?" he asked.
"Yeah, but someone was trying to turn my Muffin into a pound cake." Larie said, "So I clobbered um."
"Why would they do that?" Jay asked. Larie explained his theory to his brothers, who became solemn at the news.
"We need to keep a better eye on them." Jay said, sounding concerned.
"We'll start tomorrow, we'll stick near 'um after school, make sure no one tries anything funny and we'll check out the cul-de-sac on the weekends more often to make sure if something happens that no one will go after our girls." Tee replied. And with that they settled into the couch. Larie looked at the hand that Double-N had took when he had helped her up and smiled.
Yup, Monday was definitely his new favorite day of the week.
Authors End Notes: Holy Gravy boats, Batman, this converted episode was started in December, then I moved into my house and had no interwebs for a month and a half and now I finally finished it. Ugghh! I'm so sorry it took this long! I had meant to finish it before I moved out of temporary housing and upload it but that never happened. So I'm sorry. Hopefully it was worth the wait. I know one fan who has been asking for this particular episode for a while now, so fAnn, enjoy. Anyone else with episode requests either put it up in reviews or PM me. Thank you.
Love,
lolzwaitwhat aka Sam