(Kawaiikitty-chan told me not to go back and edit ANYTHING or hit backspace, so this story is filled with 93489234 typos and grammar errors! but thats the point ohohohraddfd)
Gold got plane tickets to Kanto, Hoenn, and Sinnoh. He deiced to go to Sinnoh first because he hurd it was full of amazing pkmn, when he got there he saw diamond at the air port selling parsnips for 5 dollars. Gold, being the homo he ares, asked for diamonds number age date year and name of curse. Then he saw Dimonds right hand man, Pearl, who quickly stuck out his arms for no reason and threw a parsnips. Gold felt as though he felt rejected in the presensce of pearls quick natured pounders. Gold walked around sinnoh and met a girl named platinum, who he later kidnapped and stuffed into a bag. She later died of suffocation in the bag along with a togepi. After her tragic death, everyone in sinnoh became rly sad and everyone commited suicide by drwoning themslevs in grape jelly and blowing their brains up with huyper beams from their beroved pokmans.
Next stop was Hoenn, when he rode around on his supposedly skateboard he saw someone familiar. Oh it was ruby, he asked ruby, 'hey have I seen u before' then ruby screamed because gold was so dirty from skateboarding, ruby bought him a shampoo and a brush and ran to his mastr Wallace. Gold ate the shampoo and brushed his foot hairs with the brush, then that's when sapphire walked along and stepped on his pancreas. He cried but when he saw Sapphires rly funny hair he sighed. He used the nasty brush to knock her out and stuffd her in the same bag that he stuffed platinum into. Lucky for sapphire she didn't die but she eneded up breaking gold's back by biting him in 6 areas that are impossible to bite, but she did it.. she did the impossible… also she ran to ruby who ran to Wallace who ran to winnona who ran to a bird who ran into a jet engine.
Last stop was Kanto, when he arrived nothing had changed from before, except for one thing. Swine flu x 3333333 had struck the area and everyone was dying, including yellow. Who could HEAL everybody, but she was dying, and he couldn't do anything cus his back was broken. So he ignored her and walked around kanto with a broken back. Red was teaching Pikachu how to swim, that's when Gold remembered the last time he swam, tht was the tragic day he lost his typlosion who later appaeard in commercials. Silver appared from no where and gave Gold a pat on the face, and then Blue came and told him if u want to cure evyrone u need to do 5 jumping jakcs on a rotom while rotating 82 chairs at the same time cus If u don't it will spread to hoenn and sinnoh AND johto. But it was imposible, he had a broken back!!! What was he to do, that's when green came and told him abut the mystical pokean tht could reverse it. Was it celebi? Maybe, but It was also dialga. What was gold to do, he can't find celebi and dialga at the same time… that's when steven and Cynthia appared from no where riding a dialga and dialga was crying and it sounded like church bells from a horror movie. Gold thought it was strange but convenient so he lopped over to them and asked for the dialga. Steven broke Gold's arms and Cynthia broke Gold's legs. The world was doomed…