The rights to Mary Poppins belong to Walt Disney and to the estate of the late P.L. Travers. Those to Harry Potter belong to J.K. Rowling. Those to Rex Milligan belong to the late Anthony Buckeridge. Those to the Dana girls, Linda Craig and others to the Stratemeyer Syndicate. Those to Once Upon a Time are held by Edward Kitsis and Adam Horowitz. Other rights belong to the BBC, DC Comics/Warner Brothers/Hanna-Barbera, Marvel Comics, Terrance Dicks, Jim Butcher, Joss Whedon, the estates of the late Enid Blyton, the late Charles Addams, the late Malcolm Saville, the late Ian Fleming, the late Peter O'Donnell, the late Gerry and Sylvia Anderson and more. I own nothing and make claim to the same nothing.

Nowhere, Nowhen

"That Yule Ball is going badly for Harry Potter in yet another reality," said the elegant tall brunette in Edwardian apparel. "This time I intend to interfere…"

"No!" growled the great lion. "We shall! The Wizard Son of Adam is to be bonded to his soulmates by True Love's Kisses. The first bond shall drive out the abomination from his scar. That vile taint being gone should give him an advantage in battle…"

"What about the Slytherin locket?" asked the blonde lady wearing blue trousers held up with yellow braces and a white jacket opened to reveal a blue top with a rainbow band across the middle. "Harry won't be a parselmouth when it needs to be destroyed.

"Perhaps," the tall elderly man, white-robed, white-haired and white-bearded, noted, "some gifts can be given him and his bonded earlier."

"Maybe, Mithrandir, we can upgrade some of the bonds too?" Mary Poppins mused, to nods from the Doctor, Aslan, Cole Hawlings, Matilda McPhee and others. The Powers That Be had decided! In this reality, Harry Potter would have a very different Yule Ball…

Christmas Day, 1994

"Harry, do you want another dance with me or not…?"

Harry considered the situation for a moment, unaware of the Powers influencing his thoughts from a Realm Unseen. Cho and Cedric seem happy together. Parvati is pretty and sweet-natured. Why not?!

"Sure, Parvati. I would love another dance."

This time, Harry concentrated on the girl in his arms during the waltz. "So, Parvati, what do you and Padma do during the holidays? Do you go back to India?"

"Back to…? I'm from the Anglo-Welsh borders, Harry! My parents are Indian natives and I am named after a Hindu goddess, follow Hinduism and speak Hindi and other Indian languages. Whilst I am proud of my heritage, I see myself as British-Indian."

"I'm sorry, Parvati. That North-West accent should have given the game away! At least, I now know more about you.

"I'm raised in the muggle world by relatives who hate me. What do witches and wizards not named Weasley do during the holidays?"

"What?! Who would hate you?! Harry, you are one of the kindest and sweetest boys that I know.

"Speak to Dumbledore, Harry. Longbottom, Bones, Abbott, Macmillan, Greengrass, Davis and Patil are the traditional Potter allied houses. We would take you in like a shot. Padma might take some pacifying though if you invite Ron over."

"I must speak to Ron, Parvati. Padma doesn't deserve this. Neither does Hermione, quite frankly."

"Well, back to the holidays, Pads and I regularly meet up with Lav, Sue Bones and Han Abbott to sunbathe by a pond in our back garden. It is good to get into our bikinis on hot summer days."

"I think that you would look hot in a bikini."

"Thank you, Harry. I wouldn't mind seeing you in swimming trunks for that matter…"

After another couple of dances, Harry found himself enjoying the evening. Parvati was vivacious, charming and funny, not to mention an absolute stunner. In fact, they got on so well that they shared a quick kiss under the mistletoe during a stroll in the gardens after their fourth dance.

"Wow! You are a good kisser, Harry! I felt like… Have you heard of a True Love's Kiss?"

"It sounds like something out of Sleeping Beauty, Parvati."

"I'm sorry, Harry. Who was Sleeping Beauty?"

"As in the… Of course! Wizards presumably have different fairy stories.

"What stories did your mother tell you and Padma as children? Sleeping Beauty is a muggle one, about a princess cursed by a wicked fairy to sleep for a hundred years. She was awakened when a handsome prince found her and kissed her. Is this something like that?"

"Sort of, Harry. Can you kiss me again please? Only longer and with tongues this time."

As the couple kissed, Harry felt a presence enter his head and then felt a pain in his scar. There was a black smoke coming out of his forehead, then he thought that he heard an intense scream. After that, he felt nothing from his scar at all.

"Are you OK, love?" Parvati asked after they had finally come up for air. "Something happened to your scar."

"Never better, Parvati.

"There was a feeling of you in my head and then of something else being driven out. I felt peace for the first time in my life.

"Parvati, I love you. Will you be my girlfriend?"

"Of course, my darling Harry!" she said, before kissing him again.

"Monster!" came a scream from nearby. Harry and Parvati went to explore and found Pansy Parkinson trying to push Theodore Nott away from her. Her clothes were torn in a way that made it abundantly clear what he had been attempting. Nearby, Millicent Bulstrode, Tracey Davis and Daphne Greengrass were tied to trees. Harry stunned Nott and vanished the ropes securing the three bound girls. As he did so, Parvati pulled a terrified Pansy into a tight comforting hug.

"Are you OK, Pansy? I take it that bastard was trying it on with you again?!"

"Yes, Parvati. Neither of us are old enough for that yet and, as far as Nott knew, I am still with Draco. After he repeatedly made goo-goo eyes at Tori, I dumped Draco an hour ago.

"Nott saw that the four of us were sitting quietly by the trees here, before casting Incarcerous at Millie, Daffy and Trace. Once they were tied up, he jumped on me before I could reach my wand. Oh Merlin, if you hadn't… If you hadn't…"

"You saved Pans' virtue, Pot… I mean, Harry." Daphne's use of his given name surprised him.

"Yes, thank you Harry!" Pansy not only used his forename but hugged him. The other three Slytherin girls then took it in turns to embrace him too. Parvati merely pulled him into a long kiss.

"Meet my soulmate, girls!" Parvati gushed.

"We should threaten you with dire consequences if you hurt her, Harry Potter," Daphne told him. "As long as you don't, welcome back to the alliance, Harry."

"My sweetheart mentioned that we are old allies, Miss Greengrass…"

"Call me Daphne please, Harry! In private, my friends call me Daffy. I would be honoured if you and your missus did the same. Someone who saves Pans from a fate worse than death has that right."

"Missus?! I would love to marry Parvati one day, but we are too young for that yet."

"Magically, we are wed already, my love. All we need is the ceremony and the consummation. Not that I am in a hurry for either, particularly as we are both still under the Age of Consent."

"In that case," Harry held Parvati close, "I had better speak to your father. I need to formally ask him for your hand in marriage." He kissed her tenderly on the lips.

"A true bond, that's rare," Millicent commented. "I think that the confirmation spell is…" She cast an incantation Harry didn't recognise accompanied by a combination of wand movements that he was unfamiliar with as well. "What the bloody hell…?!

"Harry, you have romantic soul bonds forming with the four of us as well as Parvati and another in Hogwarts, plus one far away. All bonds between us are fully mutual, too. In addition, there are a few platonic familial bonds forming. One seems to be with Padma. No surprise there, as identical twins invariably have strong bonds."

"Thank Merlin for that! If all romantic bonds are fully mutual, I'm glad incest is off the table!"

"You and me both, Parvati, assuming Tori isn't the other Hogwarts one!"

"If I can call you Daffy, you can call me Parv! Considering that we are all going to be shagging at some point, you all can.

"Harry darling, if you can snog Millicent, I'll snog Daffy, and Pansy and Tracey can snog each other."

"OK, Parv…" He was cut off by Millicent smashing her lips against his! Once again, he felt a presence in his mind. If Parvati was exotic and alluring, Millicent was pugnacious and yet strangely sweet. I'll have fun being married to… Hang on…

"There are certain situations in which polygamy is legal in the wizard world, Harry. Multiple romantic soul bonds are a magical blessing and thus you are considered married to both Millicent and I now."

"Anyone who can address Daphne as Daffy can call me Millie, Pansy Pans and Tracey Trace, Parv!"

"Thank you, Parv.

"Hang on. I didn't ask that question out aloud. I was snogging Millie at the time! How did you know what I was thinking?!"

You thought it, Harry. She heard it as you are hearing me – in your mind.

Millie? Parv? You can hear my thoughts?

Yes, dearest, we can. There should be other benefits too.

Cool, Parv!

Harry smiled at the girl in his arms. Millie Bulstrode was a big girl, true, but her tall muscular build and prominent jaw seemed pretty from close range. Her bust and bum may have been large for a girl still in her early-to-mid teens, but both were perfectly proportioned. There was not an ounce of fat on her. Her long raven hair was silky smooth. A beaming smile on her face enhanced her beauty. "You are gorgeous inside and out, Millie! Welcome to the family, darling!

"I'll snog Pans this time; I think. Daffy, you can snog Millie. That leaves Parv and Trace."

Before too long, first, Pansy, then Daphne and finally Tracey were all in the bond. Whilst Daphne, a tall slender brunette, and Tracey, a petite redhead, were both conventionally beautiful, Pansy's pug-nose seemed cuter from close range and her long legs, jet black hair and megawatt smile were most attractive indeed.

"Well, we need to get Nott to the teachers before the stunner wears off," Harry decided. "Should we take you to Madame Pomphrey, Pans? Just in case he…"

"I was rescued before he inflicted anything other than a few bruises, Harry. I still have my maidenhead in place too!

"You are the only man that will ever have me, Harry darling!"

"You are an absolute arse, Ronald Weasley!" Hermione was yelling in tears as Harry levitated the still unconscious Nott into the Great Hall. Padma was standing beside her, clearly sharing the same high opinion of Ron!

"Professor Dumbledore!" Harry yelled. "Nott here tried to force himself onto Pansy! As one of my bond mates…"

"Bond mates, Harry?!" the headmaster asked. He cast the same spell that Millie had. "I see…"

"No, Headmaster," a voice said from behind him. Professor Dumbledore turned around but did not see anyone. Six feminine figures appeared out of nowhere, all in white robes in the Classical Hellenistic style. "I am Athena, and these are Aphrodite, Artemis, Hecate, Hera and Hestia. Yes, we are the ones worshipped as goddesses.

"We shall take over the educations of Harry Potter and his Coven of Hecate from now on. Farewell!" As Athena said this, she, Aphrodite, Hera, Hestia and several Hogwarts Third, Fourth, Fifth- and Sixth-Year students disappeared. "Don't worry, Dumbledore. They shall be back for the Second and Third Tasks. In the meantime, farewell!" With those words, Hecate also vanished into thin air.

Harry was surprised to find himself on a beautiful island paradise, alongside his girls, Fred, George, Ron, Ginny, Angelina, Alicia, Katie, Hermione, Padma, Lavender, Neville, Susan, Hannah, Astoria and a Ravenclaw girl with protuberant blue eyes and dirty-blonde hair who seemed to be friends with Ginny. There was also a pallid brother and sister about his age with raven hair and Goth fashion senses, a tall muscular brunette and a tall well-built man with a white streak in the centre of his red hair, as well as the six goddesses. Sirius Black (as Padfoot), Remus Lupin and a woman with pink hair were also there. A gigantic lion was chatting to a strangely-dressed woman who was stood by an old-fashioned police box.

"Bonjour! My name is Wednesday Addams," the sister said. She was tall and slender, with long hair in pigtails. Her brother was well-built with his hair closely cropped. "This is my brother Pugsley.

"I am here to join the soulmates of Harry Potter."

"We are to be your tutors," Athena said, "alongside Princess Diana of the Amazons and Jason Blood over there. Aslan the Lion of Narnia, the time-travelling alien known only as the Doctor and others shall provide specialist tuition as necessary. We intend to use you as the start of a new generation of mages.

"For the next few days, we shall concentrate on building relationships, rather than academia. Millie, Pansy, your fathers are each going to formally disown you shortly. Harry, do you agree that they are bonded to you in love? Do you acknowledge them as two of your wives?

"I do so agree and acknowledge them both as such," Harry declared, unsure of where the words came to him from.

"Then both Magic and Law acknowledges that both girls now and forever more are full members of Clan Potter. Harry, Millicent and Pansy Potter, embrace each other as brides and groom!" They did so with gusto. Pansy whispered to Harry that his sixteenth-birthday present from her would be her virginity, which earned her a long kiss.

"So, Ginny Weasley, step forward please." She did so. "You are Harry's remaining soulmate from Hogwarts."

"Err… Hi, Harry," Ginny said hesitantly. "I didn't ask for this. Yes, I have a crush on you…"

Harry cut her off by kissing her passionately. "No, Ginny dearest. You are in love with me and I with you. Trust me, darling. I know a True Love's Kiss by now!

"I may not have fully realised it, but I think that my feisty redheaded firecracker drew me to her like a moth to a flame." He kissed her again. "Neville, I'm sorry. I hope that…"

"We went as friends, Harry," Neville laughed. "I'm sure that there is someone out there for me…"

"There is, Neville Longbottom. There are two pretty Hufflepuff girls and an equally pretty Gryffindor a few feet away from you. Kiss Lavender, Hannah and Susan passionately to form the bonds." He did so. The three girls then shared their own kisses before snuggling up to their new bonded husband.

"What about me?" Ron asked. "Do I get a pretty girl or two?"

"You are soulmates with Hermione Granger and Padma Patil."

"Is it a three-way bond?" Padma asked. "At least I get to snog a brainy beauty whilst Ron learns how not to be an absolute arse if so!"

"Well, I'm up for a snogging session to find out, Padma dear," Hermione said, kissing her friend. "This brainy beauty is very happy to be bonded to her fellow brainy beauty. If Ron ever pulls his head out of his arse, I think that the three of us should be very happy together."

"The question, Hermione, is whether Ron is capable of reaching full maturity or not. Well, if the two of us take him under our firm hands…"

"I give in! The sight of you two kissing is hot!"

"We would like apologies, Ron!"

"Fine! Hermione, Padma, I apologise for being an absolute arse!"

"That will do. Padma, he's your date. If you want to kiss him first…?"

"I would be delighted to, Hermione darling!" Within minutes, the happily bonded trio were sharing a three-way cuddle.

"So, Wednesday," Harry said, "if we are to be married, we need to get to know each other first. How old are you and Pugsley? Who are your parents? You are Americans, yes?! What is your school like?

"I mean, all seven of us others are Hogwarts students, even if I didn't really know Millie, Daffy, Pans and Trace until just before we bonded. We do need to get to know each other.

"Ginny darling, you need to kiss Parv, Millie, Daffy, Pans and Trace to complete your bonds with them."

"Well…" Ginny was cut off by Parvati pulling her in for a long kiss. Once their lips had finally parted, Ginny found herself snogging Pansy. This girl can really kiss!

Why, thank you, Ginny.

That's OK, Pansy. Merlin! We can snog and chat at the same time. Cool!

With that attitude, being married to you should be fun!

Thank you, Pansy. I think that we are going to really bond as a family.

Once the two had finally come up for air, Ginny quickly discovered that she enjoyed kissing Millie, Daphne and Tracey as much as she did Harry, Pansy and Parvati.

"Well, mes cher amis, I was born on 12 February 1980. Our parents are the lawyer and entrepreneur Gomez Addams and the socialite and former model Morticia Addams nee Frump. We live with them, our Grandmama and Uncle Fester in our house at 0001 Cemetery Lane. We are Goths and proud of it.

"Pugsley and I attend Ilvermorny. He is in Wampus House and I in Thunderbird. It isn't an exact match, but I believe Wampus is the equivalent of Gryffindor and Thunderbird Slytherin."

"We lions are getting outnumbered in Clan Potter," Parvati noted. "Still, Harry and Ginny are pretty sneaky lions and Millie and Daffy are bold serpents, so we should balance each other out nicely."

"My favourite toy is Marie Antoinette, my headless doll. Mom's is hers, Anne Boleyn.

"I love all the usual feminine pets, such as reptiles and spiders, especially my black widow Homer and my pet lizard Lucifer.

"My favourite colour is black. I am proud of my pallid skin tone and raven hair, befitting the daughter of Morticia Addams nee Frump."

"OK," Harry replied, uncertainly.

"Now, you know me, mon amours…" With that, she pulled Harry, Ginny, Pansy, Millie, Parvati, Tracey and Daphne in turn into prolonged passionate kisses.

"I'm sold!" a stunned Ginny mumbled.

"Sis here is a force of nature," Pugsley explained. "Whatever Wednesday wants, Wednesday gets!"

"Exactly, mes amis."

"Oi! What about us?!"

"Well," Aphrodite said, "Fred, you are standing next to Alicia and Katie. They are your soulmates…"

"But I went to the Yule Ball with Angelina…"

"Who is George's soulmate."

"Are we not good enough for you, Fred?" Katie asked crossly.

"Apparently we are not, Katie."

"Err… There's no right answer to that, is there?!

"Well, I'll try saying that I am sorry and also that I am glad to be bonding with you."

"That was probably the best answer that you could give, Fred. Well done."

"Thank you, Katie."

"We need to seal our bonds, Fred. You have two hot chasers to kiss."

"And we get to see said two hot chasers…"

"George! I am the only hot chaser that you should be interested in!"

"Sorry, Angelina darling…"

"That's better! We have finally tamed the Weasley twins, girls!"

"I don't think we want them entirely tame, Angie."

"Alicia's right, Angie. We want them still the fun-loving pranksters that we know and love."

"The four youngest Weasleys are off the market," Ron mused, as his brothers kissed their chasers into their bonds.

"What about Pugsley, Daffy's sister and…? I don't know you, sorry."

"That's Luna Lovegood, Harry. She's a Ravenclaw in my year. As she lives only a short walk from the Burrow, she's a good friend of mine, although she doesn't get on with her fellow Ravenclaws."

"I like her, but I know that others bully her quite horribly."

"Thank you, Padma. Some of the other Ravenclaws let the Nargles steal my stuff, Harry Potter."

"No, Luna. They steal your possessions themselves. Unfortunately, Marietta Edgecombe is the best friend of Cho Chang and thus she and her gang of bullies get away with anything shy of murder.

"Cho is a sweet girl, Harry, but she blindly thinks the best of her friends. Hopefully, Cedric Diggory can bring out her essential kindness and, well, decency."

"I'm sorry to hear that, Luna. Any friend of Ginny and Padma is a friend of mine.

"That said, what are Nargles?"

"Luna can explain later, Harry. In the meantime, can you all share a group hug?" They did as Hecate requested. "Now, Aslan!" As she spoke, the lion roared. The group were all bathed in light. "Now, you are not only soul bound to your loves, but to each other as one extended family. We shall discuss that more later.

"In the meantime, you have had a long night. Pugsley, Luna and Astoria, your mates are coming here in due course. For the moment, it is bedtime."

"Each bonded family has its own labelled wizard tent," Hestia said. "You shall be sharing bedrooms and bathrooms, although there are screens for changing behind if you aren't comfortable with the others seeing you in the nude. Pugsley, you have your own wizard tent. Luna and Astoria, you are to share another tent.

"See you all in the morning. Clothes, including underwear, nightwear and swimwear, are in labelled wardrobes in your bedroom. The kitchens in your respective tents have full larders. The spells that protect this area of the Bermuda Triangle allow those of you below seventeen to use magic without triggering the Trace, nor can anyone outside the wards know where in the world that you are.

"We won't be starting your training until the New Year. Spend the next ten days or so swimming and sunbathing. Lounging around in swimwear should be a good way of spending time with each other."

"Your training will include physical exercises and armed and unarmed combat," the tall brunette who the goddesses had called Princess Diana said. "Swimming is a good way to get into shape.

"Remember, it is harder to hit a constantly moving target. Stamina is key to outlasting an enemy. To prolong a fight is to increase your chances if you are the fittest."

"Thank you, goddesses, Princess and everyone else," Harry said. "See you in the morning, everyone who isn't my soulmate."

That night, Harry slept in a comfortable bed. In beds nearby, his seven True Loves also slumbered. As they slept, further plans were developing that would see the Second War against Voldemort last much less than it did in standard realities…

Author's Note: For this AU to my main Storyverse, I swapped Wednesday's Date of Birth from Lisa Loring's to Christina Ricci's, making her nearly six months older than Harry, rather than over twenty-two years. Both actresses were inspired casting as the original Goth Girl.