Hello! This is my first SA fanfic. I was debating on whether or not to publish this, but I absolutely love Hanschen and Ernst, so I just had to share the love with other people. I hope you like!

Just so you know, some of the parts are a bit rough, but please just push through them. I am not fully developed as a writer yet, and am only 14 years old as of four days ago, so please be kind. :-D

Disclaimer: I honestly own no part of Spring Awakening. Sadly. But sometimes people need to face the hard truth. It's life!

Ernst POV

It's not like I have been attracted to other guys all 14 years of my life, it just kind of happened when I met this one boy, Hanschen Robel. That's when it all started. He was 15, about a year older than me, and I instantly liked him as many other people did. It was weird. I remember catching his eye, and I know this is really corny, but it was slow motion. At least for me. I was walking past him to get to my classroom seat, when I accidentally brushed his shoulder and he turned to face me. Hanschen looked at me with question, and I was so embarrassed with everyone looking at me and nervous, obviously, because I had a crush on this boy. I started to blush and decided to get out immediately.

"Sorry," I quietly mumbled, and got the heck out of there. Then he mumbled something back to me that I couldn't understand. Before that, though, he looked into my eyes and stepped back a little. That was the first time he knew I existed, at least as far as I was educated.

Ever since then, I have to say I was hooked. I would stare at Hanschen all through classes, daydreaming about whether he would ever like me back, but quickly brushing that out of my mind. The chances of that were one in a billion. So, as I was looking at him, I would study his face, the way he smiled that gorgeous, dazzling smile, which would take me to another land. The way he would walk; in confidence, and always like he had somewhere to be and do right away, even if he didn't.

Gosh, Hanschen was perfect. He was really tall and handsome, with blond hair and eyes that pierced strait through your skull. I knew Hanschen had a soft side. Everyone does. Hanschen just had a very hard time letting the thick barrier down, but I could tell there was something in him unlike the other guys. Even though he was tough and cool on the outside (not really mean, though, but strong), he had that mushiness in him. I bet no one else saw it but me because I was usually the person to dig deep in someone to get the inner them. That is what I did with Hanschen. I could tell that he didn't show people he was weak. He would suck it up, but then go hide at home or the woods and cry or scream his soul out. That's what I loved about Hanschen. He was just so different.

He was popular of course. But that's alright. It's not like I was going to say anything to him. I was just way too shy to even consider that. Ask anyone I know.

People viewed me as the small and meek kid that goes along with life, having his own thoughts, but never sharing them aloud with anyone.

As I kept staring at Hanschen, sometimes he would catch me, and smile a bit, then turn away and get back to talking with friends. My heart would flutter, I'd blush profusely, and either look down, or freeze up with a shocked look on his face. This would make him undeniably happy. He at least knew the basics of who I was. And that made me happy.

All I wanted to do was tell Hanschen that I wanted to be with him. Thing was, I didn't think he would be like me. I'm sure he could tell I liked him a lot, but I just couldn't find the courage. If he had been a girl, I would have considered starting a conversation, because the paring would be normal, but I knew guys just shouldn't be together in that way, at least that was what my family and the other people acted like. Although it bothered the crap out of me, I decided to just keep quiet and maybe hope he would say something to me. But even that I knew would be far off. Just too far off to count on.

I'd better just try to act normal, I thought, even though I would still have to deal with spacing off in class and drooling on my desk until Moritz or someone slapped me and told me to pay attention.

This is going to be a long year…

Oh, his blond hair, his broad, muscular shoulders, the way he just recited his Latin… ooohhhh… so fresh and amazing…

"Herr Robel. Is there something in your head that is more important than the topic we are discussing? If so, I believe we all would be honored to find out what is so spectacular. Come on, please do share the glory." The professor said.

Damn.

"Uh. Oh! Man, ummm…" I managed to stutter after discovering the whole of class was watching me fail, including my beloved Hanschen. I was so surprised I had nothing to say or do. So I attempted to make something up. "You see I was just thinking… about the Virgil assignment. It is so captivating I studied it all of yesterday afternoon." Hey, it was something… I guess.

"Well, Herr Robel. I have to say I am surprised. It is quite unfathomable that you would consider memorizing Latin texts to be so 'captivating'! If you think this is such great material, I would love to hear you recite the whole monologue right here in front of class, since you studied so much."

No. Way. My mother is going to kill me if she finds out this happened!

"But sir, we were just assigned this yesterday, for reviewing on Friday!" I blurted. It was Tuesday, and he assigned it on Monday.

"Ah, but Herr Robel, you have just expressed that you have already prepared the assignment, so let's hear it. Come on, don't keep me waiting." He was getting more angry and forceful by the second, but still enjoying my expression. He knew I was lying.

Well I guess I could try to recite as much as I can remember learning from yesterday in class…

"Very well, then," It is quite easy to say that everyone in the room was shocked, including the teacher. He expected to grill me for lying, to grill me for spacing out in class, to slap me until I admitted what I was thinking about, and excuse me from class for the rest of the week. But you know what? That was not going to happen! I wasn't going to let it! At least not in front of Hanschen and the other guys. I had actually read through it many times at home, because I don't like waiting for the last minute to accomplish something. Plus, it was easier than many other pieces, and was slightly easy to predict what will happen next because I have a pretty sturdy foundation on the language.

So I started, stuttering in many places, but still making it through.

"Litora, multum ille et terris iactatus et alto Vi superum, saevae memorem Iunonis ob iram Multa quoque et bello passus, dum conderet urbem
Arma virumque cano, Troiae qui primus ab oris
Italiam fato profugus Laviniaque venit".

The room was silent. I truly think that was one of the happiest days of my life. Don't you love proving people wrong? Someone in the back of the room whispered "Wow," which pretty much explained that for the whole class.

I am pleased to say that I was not punished in any way.

When class was over, I quickly walked out, not wanting to speak to anyone about the odd happening in Latin class. I had no where to be, since my parents are out somewhere god knows where. They don't tell me anything. I thought I'd just sit down at the base of a tree and think for a little while.

I was thinking about how the hack I recited that Latin in class today and came up with a single answer. God helped me. I have always been very religious, and when I feel sad or depressed or angry, I always know I can turn to my bible for comfort. I did that a lot, and that is what I did then. God felt like it was my time to shine, so he put the words in my head. I was contemplating this when I heard footsteps behind me.

I turned right as the person began to speak, and instantly recognized his smooth, hot voice even before I saw him.

"Ernst! Hey, I found you. Can I sit?" Hanschen said, as cool as calm as ever. I froze, blushed and started sweating, not knowing what to do. Oh my goodness. He's going to find out for sure. I was freaking out, like no joke.

After a long, awkward pause, I replied. "S-s-sure, H-hanschen. Sit." Man, was I confused.

"So, nice job in class today. I'm impressed. I still don't believe that's what you were thinking about, though. Sadly, I need to know what it was. Please tell me." Hanschen quietly said, with a smirk on his face. He knew what I was thinking about. He just wanted to bother me, or make fun of me. Either one; you can take your pick. I decided to play it confused and helpless, which is me, but just dismiss that fact please.

"Hanschen, I-I h-h-haven't the s-slightest clue what y-y-you're talking ab-bout." Why did I have to be such a terrible actor?

He chuckled. "Ernst, you're stuttering. Something's up. You're a horrible actor. No one just memorizes Latin for the fun of it." Well, he had a point.

"Okay, so you are right."

"I know." He said like he thinks he always is.

"So, what's the p-problem here?" I asked innocently, but still star struck, as I took in Hanschen's eye rolling. He knew full well that I knew what he meant the problem was. I gave him a hard time too. Besides, there was no way in heck I was going to tell Hanschen that I liked and admired him this much. It wasn't proper, easy, and right. He would probably hate me right away and leave, and that would leave me so heartbroken.

"Ernst, seriously. Come on. What were you thinking about? Humm?" He stared into my eyes, and I was instantly lost without too much hope of coming back on my own. I snapped out of it as soon as he nabbed my shoulder.

"Oh, I'm sorry, what?"

"Ernst, what you were thinking about." He spit out with laughter. He knew he was getting to me, and just loved it.

"Hanschen, don't laugh!" I pouted with a pussycat mouth. "Please?"

"You are so different," Hanschen said, calming down a little and smiling, "In a good way, of course." He added, with a cute little reassuring voice.

"Well, thank you then." I honestly meant it. I mean when do you get to have a real conversation with your secret crush whom you absolutely love, that makes you feel like butterflies? Now. That's when.

"Sure. Hey, you want to walk back home with me? I think we should talk."

"Yeah, sweet!" I jumped at the offer with a gleaming smile on my face. He was happy to make me so happy.

He got up, brushing the dirt from our trousers. It wouldn't be good if we got dirt on our school pants and it stayed there. We would have to pay a little extra.

Hanschen offered me his hand, and I took it, obviously glowing with happiness. He looked out toward the lake, admiring its beauty aloud, as I took it in as well. I hadn't noticed it was so beautiful, especially next to my Hanschen who doesn't compare. It really was a sight, though. The blue-tinted water with fish spilled out around the bend, with two willow trees (one of which we were under) around its side, and many lake grasses bursting out, spilling the lake with color.

I loved being there with Hanschen. It just made him and the moment so clear and right. Staring at him, with the glimmering sun on his face and sparkling eyes, as well as the lake backdrop behind him, it really was the first time I thought I could be completely satisfied with me spending the rest of my entire life with him and only him. No wife, no birth children (obviously). It was a beautiful moment that I didn't want to end. It should have gone on forever.

I was absolutely in love with Hanschen at that moment in time. That was the first time I actually thought the words, which surprised me. However, in some odd way it was comforting, knowing I will always have this much affection towards him, and he could rely on me at any time with anything and I would be there. The only other part would be if Hanschen would be just as righteous as I. If he would, I would be the happiest man, boy, in the entire world.

I am in love with Hanschen Rilow.

Ernst Robel Loves Hanschen Rilow as more than just a friend.

Ernst and Hanschen.

Hanschen and Ernst.

Ernst and Hanschen together. How lovely this sounds!

Hanschen caught me daydreaming, again, and raised an eyebrow, wondering what I was doing this time. "Ernst? You okay?"

"Yes. Yes, I am perfect! So, so perfect!" I gushed, overflowing with excitement and serenity. "Thank you, Hanschen!" Any other guy would think of me as a total freak by how I was acting, but not Hanschen. He got me and nodded his head while showing off his perfect teeth.

"You know what? Me too." We waited several minutes, just standing there by the lake not speaking, but in thought. It wasn't awkward at all. It fit entirely, without a question between the two of us. "Let's go." He finally let out.

"Okay. Let's go." I replied simply, repeating some of his words, which he added a smirk to acknowledge.

"I'm still going to find out what you were thinking, though." He added, with a smug look on his face.

"Sure, sure. I'll think about it." Maybe I should tell him. Only if it seems like he's interested too. Otherwise, I don't think so. But I'm not going to think too much right now, because I feel so at peace, with the of my dreams at my side, even if for only to talk. I really am astounded that I am this suitable around Hanschen. I should be mortally nervous, which I am a little, but more comfortable and at rest with him. I warmed up almost too quick for my taste, but I am not complaining at all.

The fact that we were together like this was a sign. I could tel. It was a sign from God telling us we were meant to be together. Well, maybe it is too early, I was telling myself. But deep down, I knew I was right. Hanschen just didn't know it yet.

And at that moment, I didn't want the day to end. I wanted it to last forever, looking into my love's piercing, haunting, radiant eyes.

So I was originally going to make this a one-shot, but I kind of want it to continue. So, please tell me if it was good or bad and whether or not I should make more chapters. I won't if it's horrible.

Thanks for reading. Don't you love Ernst and Hanschen? They rock. Oh, also, I was thinking about having some parts exist in Hanschen's point of view. What do you think? Please reply, it's all we have to get back from spending so much time writing, and lets us know what we should and shouldn't do! It's just the nice and polite thing. Thank you!

Love, Sarah