"You do know that isn't actually how you play hide and seek, right?" Julian asked his boyfriends. "Only one person is supposed to do the seeking."
"It's close enough, my dear doctor, and we think it'll be more fun this way," Garak said smoothly.
"The two of you competing to seek me out," Julian shook his head, and then something occurred to him. "The two of you hunting me down. Like I'm prey!" Neither of their faces betrayed anything. The downsides of dating a Cardassian spy and a changeling constable. "Is this some kind of strange spy/constable thing?"
"Of course not! How many times must I tell you, I'm a plain, simple tailor? Really, doctor, I thought we were past this," Garak said.
The three of them shared a look. It was almost an inside joke between them; the three of them were all well aware that Garak had been a spy, maybe even still was. It didn't matter.
"I'm sure," Odo grumbled. "And I'm a plain, simple humanoid."
"Your clothes are plain and simple, you mean. You know, you are dating a tailor, which means you could dress so much better," Garak chided. "I have the designs in my shop, I could just-"
Julian interrupted before Odo could respond. This was a familiar argument. One of the many familiar arguments in their relationship. "Okay, if we're going to be hunting me down, I have a few rules." Both Odo and Garak grumbled a little at that, but they listened anyway. "No tracing my combadge since I have to leave it on in case of emergency. No using the computer to find me either," Julian took a moment to consider whether or not he had more conditions; he honestly didn't know whether or not either of his boyfriends would listen to those rules anyway. "My next day off is in a week. You can start hunting me at ten hundred hours."
Garak and Odo exchanged looks and nodded their assent. Julian smiled at them and gave them both a quick kiss on the cheek, already figuring out how to evade them.
The first thing Julian did to prepare was borrow some of Jadzia's perfume. It was embarrassing, and she laughed at him, but Cardassians had a keen sense of smell, and he was completely sure that Garak had memorized his scent.
"And don't tell anyone about this," Julian insisted. "It'll give it away to Odo and Garak, and then I'll never hear the end of it from O'Brien if he finds out I'm wearing perfume."
"Of course not, Julian," Jadzia soothed, still smiling at his expense. "I wouldn't want to ruin their fun. Actually, do you think that I could get in on it, too?"
"I don't think that Garak and Odo would agree to that," Julian said. "We don't share."
"They know I'd win, you mean," Jadzia retorted, handing Julian her bottle of perfume and then relaxing back in her chair. "I have lifetimes of training and I know how your mind works."
"And they know me much better," Julian chided her. "I swear, half of the time, talking with the two of them is like being interrogated. Nicely, of course, but still."
Jadzia made a dismissive noise. "But Garak is Cardassian and Odo is a changeling. Trill are closer to Human than either of them. Hiding and hunting are about base instincts, beyond your personality."
"I don't think our species are going to play too much into it," Julian said. "I don't think they'll be able to find me because I'm that good at hiding."
Jadzia just laughed at him again.
His next step was to meet with O'Brien at Quark's the night before the big day.
"I really don't understand the three of you," he said, for about the hundredth time. "They're going to hunt you? And you're excited for it?"
"I always love being the best," Julian replied primly. "Plus, it's just like hide and seek. Surely they played hide and seek back in Ireland!"
"Well, yeah," O'Brien replied. "But not adults!"
"It's just a fun way to spend the day off! No harm done," Julian said. "I want your help, though."
"My help? I don't want any part in this," O'Brien said.
"I just need your help in figuring out where to hide. You know this station better than anyone!" Julian flattered. "That's it. You won't even know when it's happening, so you won't be involved at all."
O'Brien swallowed a big gulp of synthale. "They aren't going to interrogate me, are they? I don't need to deal with another Cardassian interrogating me."
Julian gasped. How could he even think that Garak would hurt him? Over this, at least? "He isn't going to interrogate you," he replied, rolling his eyes a little.
"Are you sure?"
"Miles…" Julian said, exasperated. He had business to get down to, after all.
"Fine, fine," O'Brien finally agreed. "But if I end up in some dark room, I'm holding you responsible."
Julian beamed at him. "Thank you. You won't regret it," he grabbed his PADD and showed it to O'Brien. "Where would you suggest I hide out? I need somewhere where I can't be backed into a corner, and is still fairly remote."
O'Brien showed him a few promising places, and Julian thanked him loudly. He was careful not to look at the dark corner where Garak was sitting, hopefully overhearing the whole conversation. Julian wasn't about to scan for Odo, but he was sure that he was somewhere. He had told both of his boyfriends that he had to talk to O'Brien about something very important, but that he'd be back later.
When he returned back to their quarters, both of them were smiling benignly at him from the couch. Julian smiled right back at them both. He kissed Odo in the gentle, careful way he always did and then turned to kiss Garak, deeper and more sensually. When Garak moved to deepen the kiss, Julian pulled away.
"Nuh-uh," Julian tutted, "I've got to get plenty of rest for tomorrow." He stretched in a way that he knew showed off his ass. The resulting growl from Garak made Julian grin to himself. Instead of replying, Julian took both of them by the hand and pulled them up. "You've got a few more hours until you have to become liquid again, right?"
"Yes, two and a half," Odo said, his voice filled with tenderness.
"That's time enough," Julian replied, pulling them into the bedroom. "Just give me one second to get into my pajamas, and we can go right to bed."
He changed quickly in the bathroom, and was pleased to find both his boyfriends laying in bed with a space for him in the middle. Pleased by the setup, Julian practically dove into bed between them.
Like usual when they were ordered that way, Odo pressed his head against Julian's chest and let him play with his hair. Odo usually kept his hair impeccable (a changeling skill Julian was quite jealous of), but when they were alone, he let it loose if Julian or Garak wanted to play with it. As for Garak, he wrapped his arm around them both as much as he was able, pulling them both in tightly. Julian loved it when they were situated like this. He was pretty sure he was the safest place in the quadrant, situated between his simple tailor and his constable.
Julian closed his eyes, smiling contentedly as Odo traced shapes on his stomach and Garak slipped his hand into his. This was truly the life. And tomorrow, he got to show them both up.
Early in the morning, Julian slipped out of bed. Odo had elected to return to his bucket for at least this part of his regeneration cycle. He noted that Garak's breathing had slightly sped up from when he was asleep. While he didn't think Garak would sneak out and try to find him early (if only because Odo would notice and protest), it was always best to keep an eye on him.
Julian showered quickly and then made his way to the infirmary. Once there, he changed out of his Starfleet uniform and into plainer clothes. No Starfleet uniform today. He also spritzed himself with a little bit of Jadzia's perfume.
He replicated a few things to eat in case the day dragged on, and then proceeded to his hiding spot, which was nowhere near any of the spots that O'Brien had suggested to him the night before. Hiding was a thing he was pretty good at, and early on in his stay at Deep Space Nine, he had searched out cubbyholes and crawlspaces, just for fun. There were always hidden places that weren't on schematics, and Julian Bashir was very confident he had found them all.
The space he had chosen to hide was in one of the secondary docking ports. There was an unmarked and unused water conduit between the port and the cargo transfer isle. In his conduit, he found a little crawlspace just big enough for him to fit in. He slid himself in, and then waited.
And waited.
And waited.
He didn't remember hide and seek being so boring when he was young. Checking the time, it had been two hours since the hunt had begun. While he was smug they hadn't found him yet, he was also a little bored.
Still, Julian stayed where he was. He wanted to take out his PADD to occupy himself, but then he realized that if he turned it on either of his lovers might be able to track him down. So much for that.
He sighed and leaned back. It was clearly going to be a long day. At least he could spend the time planning for their next date. It was hard for Odo and Bashir to get time away from the station at the same time, so the three of them were regular users of the holosuites. They had explored all kinds of places together, even if it was only pretend. But they needed to take some kind of trip soon… Maybe down to some remote part of Bajor for a week or two. That way they would be available in case of emergency, and, unlike in the cities, Garak wouldn't attract quite as many glares.
His thought process was interrupted by the sounds of footsteps below. They sounded like Garak's feet. Julian held his breath as the footsteps paused beneath him and then kept going.
Out of nowhere, he heard a loud squawking noise right in his ear. How the hell had a hawk gotten in his crawlspace? He jumped and inadvertently knocked himself out of his crawlspace. The last thing that Julian heard before passing out was the crack of his skull on the floor.
Julian's head was pounding when he regained consciousness, but he recognized the feeling of a hand in both of his and the familiar smell of the infirmary. What was he doing in an infirmary bed? Oh right, that dammed hawk. Which, he realized, had probably been Odo.
"You were supposed to catch him if he fell, Garak," Odo's voice said. "It was your idea." He started mimicking Garak. "Oh, don't worry, Odo, I'm sure he won't fall. And even if he does, I can catch him!"
"Yes, well, maybe you should have startled him at the time we agreed, not two minutes early," that was definitely Garak's voice.
"You try keeping close track of time when you're a liquid!" Odo complained.
"Shhh," Julian tried to say. Their arguing was not helping his head.
As soon as he made noise, the both of them turned their attentions to him. He pried his eyes open and looked at the two of them, blinking until his vision cleared. Both of them looked very concerned, but Julian just felt a wave of smugness and accomplishment wash over him.
"I won," Julian said, the words actually coming out clearly enough. "You guys had to team up to find me. I won. I beat both of you."
"My dear Julian," Garak said, gently brushing a stray hair away from Julian's forehead, "you will note that we did find you, so, I'm afraid that means that we won. That I won, actually, since it was my sense of smell that detected your rather strange aroma. Why did you smell like Jadzia? Your natural smell is so much sweeter."
"But from the feel of it, you gave me a concussion. Which means I won," Julian retorted, ignoring the question.
"Perhaps we ought to let Julian win this round," Odo suggested, still looking at him with a mix tenderness and concern.
"But Odo, I found him. I'm not going to concede just because our little surprise went awry," Garak said. "That wouldn't be honest!"
Julian smirked and nudged him. "Oh yes, honesty has always been your biggest priority."
"Your scurrilous claims never cease," Garak said, kissing Julian's forehead, "but luckily, I love you. Despite your slander."
Odo harrumphed in response to that. Julian knew that as the newest member of their relationship, Odo sometimes felt a little unsteady about where exactly he stood and needed the reassurance.
"Yes, I love you, too, dearest Constable," Garak said, leaning over to kiss Odo too.
"Now, you two stop arguing for a while so I can get a little rest," Julian ordered. "Wake me up in a few hours."
"We'll be here," Odo promised.
The sounds of their badly hushed arguing made the perfect lullaby to put Julian back to sleep.