A/N: Hey everybody! First really long submitted entry. Yeah, yeah, I know I've got other projects...but this was just begging to be written! I had a dream about this. This story is altered - obviously, for plot thickening - but the basics are the same.

Disclaimer: Naruto does not belong to me. Any and all references to real people, places, or facts are completely for literary purposes.

God, it was cold.

Sasuke lay on blood soaked pavement, heaving with the exertion it took to breathe. The sting of the unrelenting rain felt like a thousand needles against his exposed skin. Before his very eyes, the rain was driving the blood, his lifeblood, into the sewers.

Sasuke Uchiha wasn't an idiot.

The boy knew he would be dead in a few minutes. There was no second chance for the marauding outlaw. He was down for the count, and down he would remain.

Through fuzzy thoughts he registered that his body would not be here by morning. His organization, once they caught wind of his death, would spare no time in locating his body, eradicating it, and wiping his existence out of the system.

Things were finally done and over with. Sasuke the mercenary had bit off more than he could chew. How fitting, he thought, that he would perish in the dark of night.

Sasuke found, to his surprise, that dying wasn't as bad as his victims made it out to be. Sure, he was in mind-blowing agony the first five minutes, but by now, he had lost enough blood to have the numbing in his body overpower the throbbing in his gut. It was a little like falling asleep, except he was sure he would never wake up again.

So he shut his eyes and gave in.

His shortening breaths and thrumming ears were lost to the patter of the rain. But most of all, he could hear the patter of footsteps walking away.

Echoing the patter of unshed teardrops.

When he came to, he was in Hell.

Well, at least that's where he thought he was. His family had raised him Christian. But seeing the way his career choice had panned out, it was not hard to believe that he had put his faith on the backburner. Heaven was not for Sasuke Uchiha, and Sasuke Uchiha was not for Heaven.

He had not expected, however, that Hell was a jungle.

Sasuke got up quite easily, considering he could barely crawl in the dredges of his last moments on Earth. His clothes were still bloody, but he himself wasn't bleeding, nor did he feel any pain.

He was in a small green clearing, no intelligent form of life in sight. The air was humid, sweltering, and he could hear the shrieks of some bird of prey circling above.

Well, this was lovely.

He had to spend the rest of his afterlife, scavenging around like Tarzan? Heaving a sigh, Sasuke began to explore. The jungle was straight like a scene from an Amazon documentary from National Geographic. He could hear frogs ribbit and crickets chirp. It was with some surprise that he noticed how mortal the setting was. The sights and sounds were exotic, sure, but nothing he'd never seen in a photo magazine. Even the flora was normal – spiny backed ferns and spry palms.

But he found, to his surprise, that as he traversed further and further through the jungle, the plants began looking absolutely demonic. Some were like giant Venus Flytraps, but others seemed to be mobile. They pulled themselves by their roots and sported nasty teeth he was certain he had seen only on sharks.

He didn't want to take any chances.

So Sasuke avoided them, trying to find the nearest stream. Though not technically human anymore, he still maintained a keen sense of survival. Water, he was told, was where you went to if you ever got stranded in the wild.

He wandered around for what must have been two hours before finally settling on a – success – riverbed. Bright red mushrooms sprouted near the base of several trees. The area was quiet and calming, an oasis of relaxation for soothing the boy's strained nerves.

Sasuke crouched down and peered into the murky puce water. Were there fish down there?

Probably not.

Feeling put out, Sasuke looked around and spotted a moss-infested log. Sighing, he sat. First he had to think. There were so many questions he wanted to ask, but there was no one to answer them.

First, was he really in Hell? Was there anyone remotely human down here? Would he ever feel hungry, thirsty, or need to sleep ever again? What would happen to him if he died here? Could he die?

He looked down at his pants, fraying at the ends from the rough, woodsy terrain. He was sure that the moving plants had taken a nip at them also.

Sasuke leaned his head back, blinking up at the treetops. The canopies were so thick; he couldn't make out the sun, if there was one at all.

Suddenly, Sasuke's ears pricked.

There was something coming…

Shrieking loudly, its leathers wings smacked Sasuke's temple before he could react. The force of the hit sent Sasuke careening to the dirt.

He didn't even have time to get up before it launched itself again, clawing for his legs. The mercenary winced as it tore into his thigh. Blood gushed forth, exciting the creature further. Reveling in rage, it flitted back and forth in powerful swoops.

Sasuke scrambled to his knees, daunted for a second by its impressive size. Then sheer instinct took over.

His leg was injured badly. There wasn't much he could do. Sasuke bit his lip, mind scrambling to make a decision. Any decision at all would do.

The boy, looking around, jumped into the river. He knew that most things that could fly could not swim, and hopefully that held true for this strange place as well Sasuke held his breath, feeling the water above him toss around as the monster chomped blindly near his head. Then, when he could hold his breath no longer, he reached out and grasped its neck, using all the energy in his arm to pull it into the water. Sasuke dragged it down as a leverage to pull himself up.

He gasped, getting out of the water as soon as his head popped out. That wouldn't deter it for long. To kill it, Sasuke would have held it down longer, but he was afraid for his wrist, which would be in the bat's reach should it take a snatch at him.

Sasuke started with a half hobble out the water. His leg burned like crazy, but he was still running on that adrenaline rush from before. Sasuke pushed the pain to the back of his mind as much as he could. He couldn't afford to limp away. He had to run.

So he did.

He ran quickly, flying into the dense foliage of the jungle to try to lose it. And things got better. Not a minute went by before it was on his tail again. The beast was rabid, snapping its large incisors near his neck any chance it could get. It was only a few centimeters behind…

He cursed a million swear words as it closed in behind him.

Damn it all!

At this rate, his head would be decapitated!

Sasuke's heart jumped as his leg slid into a sizable ditch. The bat flew past him, its momentum too much to overcome in time.

Utilizing his precious chance, the mercenary immediately went on the offensive. Sasuke reached inside his jacket for a gun, and miraculously, he found one. Scrambling up, he heard the beat of its leather wings as it hovered above him.

He spun around and shot it.

Blood exploding from its chest, the monster screeched for the final time and then collapsed to the jungle floor.

Anxious, Sasuke stepped forward to take a closer look. It was bat-like, wingspan the length of a grown man's leg. Just like the flora though, there was something distinctly malevolent in its features. Its eyes were wide open and blood red. The jaws were enormous, large enough to swallow a German Shepherd whole.

Sasuke kicked it over, glaring at its back. There was a ridge-like formation there. It spelled out…

Numbers?

He crouched down to make them out.

Six – six –six.

Suddenly, the creature burst into flames. Sasuke gasped, scrambling back. He pat himself frantically, desperately trying to extinguish the fire eating away at his clothes.

This event had enlightened him to three very important things about his new situation.

One, his bullets worked against those creatures. Who knew what else they would work on? That meant that he could defend himself, at least against the bats.

Two, he could still feel pain. (And oh god, did it hurt)

Three, he was most definitely in Hell.

And then he knew nothing at all; Sasuke blacked out for the second time that day.

Sasuke awoke in a tree.

At first he panicked, how did he get up there? But then he calmed down and took in his person. His leg was still bleeding, but to his surprise, the pain was stemmed enough that he felt like normal again. It was the strangest thing, as he remembered it barely bothering him as he ran through the jungle. He would have to investigate that later.

By way of surroundings, he was eighty feet high from the forest floor. Something must have picked him up and placed him there to eat later. It must've been one of those bats.

Remembering his encounter, the young man shivered. The adrenaline rush had stopped him from realizing it before, but it was truly the most terrifying experience he'd ever had. He recalled the little details about the monster. The jerking bloodthirsty movements, the acidic saliva dripping from its teeth, and the hot breath of death fogging up the back of his neck…

…it was hard to believe that it had not devoured him on the spot. Its fearsome shriek echoed hauntingly back in his mind like a specter, chilling him to the bone. There was no way a creature like that would save anything for later.

Unsure of his now precarious position, Sasuke looked down through the slats of the branches. He gripped the limb he was sitting on; it was wide but not disarmingly so.

Immediately, Sasuke brainstormed a plan to get down. First, he would wait for the bat – or whatever took him – to come flying back. Then, he would hop on its back and pull it by its ears—

Flapping. Now was his chance.

Sasuke jumped.

He grunted when he landed on something thin and unsupportable. The creature dropped down jerkingly, flapping madly to keep the new weight afloat. It was unexpectedly frail, a baby bat perhaps?

Awkwardly, they flew into the frondescence, leaves and twigs assaulting Sasuke's face. The bat only seemed to spiral more out of control as the green foliage blinded them both. Soon enough, cuts were starting to form on his face, his bare arms and legs. Sasuke held on tightly, grabbing fistfuls of dark brown fur.

A scream.

"What's going on?!" screamed a high feminine voice. The boy paused, relinquishing hold of the 'fur.'

He looked down.

It was a girl.

With big, leather bat wings.

"Get off of me!" she demanded. He couldn't see her face, but if the reddening neck was any indication, she was piping mad.

Sasuke sat up awkwardly. Where would he get off? They were still eighty feet in the air…

The girl, obviously not caring, tried to shake him off. She was straining with the effort to keep them both from crashing, and he could tell that the impromptu 'pony ride' was pissing her off to extreme levels.

His eyes widened, ducking under a low-lying branch.

"Damn! Fall already!"

Sasuke tried reasoning with her, "You rescued me. There must have been a purpose. You need me, right? Wouldn't it be a waste if I just dropped to my death after all your hard work?"

"I didn't rescue you," she argued, breathing heavily. "Ugh, so just die!"

Then she upended herself so that Sasuke tumbled while upside down.

He cursed, glaring at the girl's triumphant loop de loop from above. The mercenary was falling fast. He had finally found some human interaction, and she just had to…

A strong pair of arms snatched Sasuke's upper arms and from falling to his death. Another bat winged person, this one male.

"Hey, you…"

Leather wings beating steadily, they only served to enrich the reverent baritone of his voice. With them carried a note of belligerent skepticism, the kind Sasuke was not unfamiliar with. His father had spoken like that, his brother in turn. Did Sasuke also?

"…what's your name?"

Frowning, Sasuke looked up at his savior. He looked human enough. Long black hair and a grumpy disposition, but the white eyes were eerily disconcerting. He was also young, probably Sasuke's age. And even though the young man saved him, he instantly felt a powerful enmity toward him.

He was looking down at him literally, but Sasuke had a feeling it was also figuratively.

The words spilled out of his mouth before he could stop it. "When you want to learn someone's name, you should give yours first."

White Eyes looked bemused. "Are you so sure you should be saying that? I have your life in my hands."

The young males sized each other up, reminding Sasuke of another idiot he had left back in the human world. But he found, to his intense displeasure, it was awfully hard to look threatening when that person was the one suspending you two city blocks high.

White Eyes was carrying him with complete ease.

Then Sasuke realized, to his chagrin, that it was this guy who carried him up to the tree tops. If the girl's denials were any evidence, his theory was also backed up by the fact that she could barely sustain his weight. Why would she bother to fly him so high up?

"Yeah. But you need me, don't you?" he reiterated the words he had spoken earlier.

The other boy paused, glancing down at him momentarily.

"Clever."

No words were spoken, both boys with enough dignity to encompass a ten mile area.

They flew in silence a long while before the girl bat twittered back with a vengeance.

"Tenten."

"Neji, I can't believe you. Do you know how long it took to get him off?" she whined, shaking her head.

Sasuke turned to look at the girl.

Even though she was talking to the male, Neji, she seemed to be flying lower so that she could give him the evil eye.

"Hi, I'm Sasuke."

Spots of red bloomed on her cheeks as she shook with mirth. Neji above him snorted, finally hearing the name he himself asked for.

He watched her with errant disinterest, noting that he had "ridden" on her back a while ago. Tenten had muddy brown eyes that matched her hair color. She had two Chinese buns in her hair, one sort of lopsided.

"Sorry, that was my fault," he said, referring to her disarrayed hair.

She growled.

Now that he looked closer, she also had fresh scratches on her face. Like his, only worse. He supposed she must have taken the brunt of the attack while they were lost in the foliage.

Feeling like it was partially his fault (only partially, mind you), he offered a half-assed excuse.

"I thought you were one of those bat monsters."

Neji interceded, "You mean the judas?" He and Tenten glanced at each other briefly, seeming to communicate a hidden message.

Just as quick they looked away.

"Judas?" repeated Sasuke doubtfully. Is that what they were called? Not exactly a name to strike fear.

"Don't put me in the same category as them!" huffed Tenten. "They're mindless, they only eat and eat - eat each other if they get too hungry."

"Again," repeated Sasuke coolly. "I didn't know." He was getting tired of this Tenten girl.

Was this how you treated a fellow denizen of Hell?

As a matter of fact, Neji wasn't being too gracious either. He held Sasuke like dead weight, sometimes letting his legs swing into branches. Whether it was intentional or accidental was up to debate.

The whole matter was silly, Sasuke thought darkly. Why did he have to be rescued by these two incompetents? But, was he even being rescued? Sasuke's mercenary "doubt everyone" instincts came flying back to him in a flash.

He had questions, but he couldn't ask them. Gritting his teeth, Sasuke realized that he would have to wait and see where they took him.

"We're going up," Neji interrupted his musings.

Startled, Sasuke griped at the already large distance between him and the ground. "What? Aren't we going high up enough?"

"The trees are deterring our progress. It's getting too thick to see properly." explained Neji. Then, he repeated one last time for good measure, "We're going up."

He could've sworn Tenten was grinning.

So up and up they went until they must've gone as high as the Eiffel Tower. Sasuke started sweating uncomfortably. He was a pretty fearless guy in life, so why should this scare him?

Shrieking bats.

Sasuke's eyes widened, recognizing the winged demon, or the judas as it was called, he had fought before. There were five of them, circling together about half a football field away. His first instinct was to run, but he seized up. There was nowhere to run. He was dangling there like fresh bait.

A hand on his shoulder. "Relax. They're not gonna get you." At first he thought it was Neji, but it turned out to be the jibing Tenten. The mock friendly look on her face was gone, replaced with cool indifference. She looked calm, at least as calm as one could be in this situation.

He didn't believe her because, as soon as they rose above the tree tops, the bats pivoted toward them. Sasuke couldn't make out their expressions, but he could imagine their glassy eyes lusting with hunger.

All small talk stopped at this point. Heated tension clouded the air in thick, undulating waves.

Surprisingly, they made no immediate move toward the three teenagers, only watching as if to size them up. Sasuke glanced up at Neji and Tenten. They were staring back at the bats too, not so much cautious as Sasuke was, but with a hint of threat.

The two continued flying in the direction they were going, speed increasing a little. Sasuke was starting to feel nauseous, but he didn't voice it. He knew they were trying to get away from the judas as much as possible.

Sasuke tilted his head back, checking behind them.

Oh, god.

A safe distance away, the judas were eagerly waiting for their foes to drop the human feast they so desired. They were following them.

But how? He hadn't heard a thing! Didn't they usually make loud shrieking noises? Like Tenten said, didn't they only have food on their minds? Unless he had underestimated their intelligence.

Sasuke balked. It was an unexpected slap to the face. He was confident knowing that they were dumb creatures, that he could outsmart them easily. Now, without a gun in his hand and dangling a hundred feet into the air, the doubt was staring to make itself known.

He pushed it back down, reminding himself that there was a limit to how scared he could be. Several reasons. Dozens. Was he not a fearless murderer? Did he not slay in cold blood? Having all that experience in life, how could it be that he would quake so fiercely in death? In the face of an overgrown rodent?

It was unspeakable.

But, Sasuke thought, this was no ordinary situation. Far from it. He was in the throes of the underworld, not earth. The same rules didn't apply here. He was at a disadvantage, stuck in this strange realm of the living dead.

As he brooded, the bat creatures moved still closer. The judas flew in a mountain peak formation, all assessing Sasuke from every angle. He didn't doubt that that they would strike like cobras once the iron was hot.

Fat chance, thought Sasuke stubbornly. On some level, he knew he trusted Neji and Tenten to watch out for him.

Or at least they would until he outlived his usefulness.

The mercenary clenched up his body, rigid and unyielding. If they made a grab at him, he wouldn't let them. Sasuke had too much pride to be squirming around like a worm in the air, helpless as he was.

Eventually, the stalking judas got tired and flew away. Not wanting a fight, they realized that the other demons would not let their prize be taken away.

As the last one escaped from view, Sasuke finally let go of the breath he didn't know he'd been holding.

As another victory, Neji and Tenten descended once again as the trees got shorter. And they fell to a comfortable fifty feet.

Silence.

A beat, then Tenten, "You're such a baby."

Neji smirked.

For the next ten minutes, Tenten made faces at Sasuke while he kept giving her the finger. Then, when he made an extremely rude gesture, Tenten finally decided to take some action.

She conked him on the head, which threw Neji off kilter when Tenten's wing obscured his vision. All three collided painfully into each other, and Neji had dropped Sasuke five feet before scooping him up again.

"Stop bothering her," ordered Neji. His ear was red from where Tenten's elbow had struck. Sasuke glared, noticing that he wasn't chastising the girl bat for any wrongdoing.

But his satisfaction came when Neji, thinking Sasuke wasn't looking, also gave Tenten a warning look. It was like saying 'I'm not giving you the satisfaction of putting you on an equal level with her.'

And that was enough for Sasuke.

After a while, he became very sore of flying like this. He wouldn't have minded if he got to ride on Neji's back like he did Tenten, but his arms being held up like this were very uncomfortable. It was even worse when he looked down and saw his legs dangling like sheets on a clothing line.

"What's the matter? Afraid of heights?" taunted Tenten, unable to hold back.

Her again.

"As if, whore."

"Swine."

"Bitch."

"Scum of the earth human!"

"Both of you, stop talking." said Neji. "We're almost there."

As he mentioned it, Sasuke began noticing that they were progressing toward a medieval castle. It was gigantic, had a moat, and radiated all things vicious and impure.

Sasuke frowned, looking at Neji and Tenten who looked all the world to be harmless, ordinary teenagers (wings and abnormal eye color aside, of course).

Then he looked back at the castle.

"Where are you taking me?" he finally asked.

"Not where. Whom." answered Neji.

"Who then?"

The drawbridge opened slowly, heralding their entrance. Well, that was stupid. Why have a moat if everyone could fly? Stupid demon bat people.

"Who do you think? We're in hell, aren't we?" retorted Tenten. She smirked, baring pearly white canines he hadn't noticed before.

Someone Sasuke would expect to meet in Hell. Well, that was a long list. Bitter people he'd "gotten rid" of, when he'd ask them for their last words, would scream and curse and kick, and then, when choking on that last bit of slippery blood left leaking out their mouths, they would say: I'll see you in hell, you fucking bastard.

No.

Someone infamous, someone known for living down here -

He blinked.

Could it be…?

Before he could voice his guess, they were in the castle and breezing down the hall. It was everything he expected it to be.

Dark and desolate. Old and damp. The creepy factor was upped a couple hundred points though, as he didn't expect there to be tortured screams bouncing off the walls and blood dripping from the curtains. What was behind there, anyway?

"You're surprisingly nonchalant." said Tenten. "Most normal people would faint."

"I'm anything but normal," conceded Sasuke ruefully. "Why do you think I'm in Hell?"

"Still—" she began.

"When are you going to let go of me?" wondered Sasuke aloud to the stony Neji.

"Can't," he grunted. His arms were probably as sore as Sasuke, "You won't be able to catch up with us. Besides, the floor will eat you."

Now that was interesting.

Sasuke subconsciously dipped his foot a little lower, half curious if what Neji said was really true.

"Don't." Tenten stopped him. She pulled his leg back awkwardly, ignoring how Neji had to twist around to accompany her. The girl had a serious look on her face. "He's not lying."

Sasuke scowled indignantly. "I know that."

"Do you? Oh, here we go – right around this corner."

She let go of his leg.

They finally landed on a white tiled landing, red circles reminiscent of a target or launch pad.

Neji finally let go of him.

"Ow."

He tumbled onto his knees. Sasuke trembled, trying to get his land legs back again. His knees creaked. His feet tingled. His muscles were numb. All of his body parts felt unhinged, as if a puppeteer had snipped the strings connecting everything together. Cautiously, and with great strain, Sasuke began testing out his first step.

Meanwhile, Neji and Tenten folded their wings back. They huddled closely, staring at the broken human that had collapsed into their world.

"He's so fragile," whispered Tenten. She saw Sasuke stumble. He grit his teeth, got back up, and tried again.

Neji frowned, placing a hand on her shoulder. "Don't be fooled. Remember? The judas?"

She remembered. Her and Neji were doing the daily patrol…

…And then they saw him.

The typical speed of a judas could be anywhere from forty miles per hour to seventy miles per hour. The one Sasuke encountered was going at least sixty. Not to mention, he killed it with a bullet. Mortal weapons did not work in this dimension, so how did he cause the impossible to become possible?

Finally, he was a healer.

The two demons sent each other a fleeting look.

What have we gotten ourselves into?

The boy walked while he stretched his stiff arms, rubbing his aching biceps. He noticed that Neji was doing the same thing.

As he was finally on level floor with them, he could see how tall they really were. Not counting the wings, Tenten was half a head shorter than him, tall for a girl; but to his disgruntlement, Neji was a whole head taller.

"Come on!" ushered Tenten, taking a few steps ahead. "We'll get in trouble if we don't hurry up." She gestured to the ominous iron doors up ahead.

A flop in Sasuke's stomach.

Now? No! He wasn't ready yet! How did he look? Okay, the blood spatters would have to do for now – would that get him brownie points? Maybe he could pass them off for being someone else's…

"What are you waiting for? Get going."

He massaged his temples, "Wait, I have to prepare myself."

Neji rose an eyebrow. "What do you mean?"

The two humanoid bats waited patiently for his explanation.

"I'm going to meet Satan himself and you think I should just go in there like an idiot with my shirt hanging out?" he gestured to his torn clothes and powerful jungle stink.

Tenten burst out laughing. She held her stomach while tears squeezed out of the corner of her eyes. "Satan? That's a good one. Jeez, we haven't had one of those for years!"

Sasuke fumed, caught off guard by this new development. "Then who am I seeing?"

"Our Congress."

"..."

"The Devil was eons ago. No one even remembers him anymore." She told him. "We've had a democracy since as long as anyone can remember. In Hell, we like to believe in a little thing called freedom. Which I'm sure your God probably doesn't know anything about."

"But…"

Tenten slapped her knee, doubled over laughing as if she wasn't just crushing his hopes and dreams. "Oh, please! You think we're kidding? Greece, France, the United States...where in the world do they get these democratic ideas? I'll tell you where! Us! All us! Montesqieu was given a dream about balance of powers by one of our agents, okay?"

His head hurt. To think Hell was like this. "Then you have the executive, legislative, and judicial branches?"

"We dumped the executive in – what was it, Neji?"

"In your standard of time, 1779." said the white eyed boy.

Right. Thank you, John Adams.

"Fine, let's just go then." He wasn't meeting anyone famous, so why bother prepping himself? The mercenary had actually looked forward to meeting the Devil. There were so many questions he wanted to ask him…

They entered through the tall double doors and emerged into an empty, pristine white office. There were desks and computers and staples.

Oh God.

Staples.

It defied all human precognitions of Hell since the beginning of time. Where were there staples in the Bible?! He demanded to know where!

Clenching his fist, Sasuke demanded, "Okay, who's the boss around here?"

Instantly, lightning crackled and people filled up the empty chairs, looking embarrassed.

"Sorry," said a buxom blonde woman. "We thought you were Gai."

Sasuke scowled, eyeing the humdrum office workers. White collared shirts and ties? Was Hell run by a bunch of bureaucratic pencil pushers?

"You guys run Hell?" he asked quietly. Chillingly.

Were they the government of the eternal pits of damnation? The rulers of a tortured existence - the tortured existence - all living humans cowered before?

Neji and Tenten stood quietly beside him, not saying a word.

A white haired man with his head stuck in a questionable orange book raised his hand.

"That'd be us."

Thanks for reading! Reviewing would be nice, since I've spent all my finals week writing this for you guys.