The Ballad of Gee Ray
AN-I OWN ABSOLUTELY NOTHING
Chapter One: In the Beginning
It's been a very long time, like a real long fucking time since we have seen any limelight, and now, dad is a fucking celebrity. No shit. I never thought I would live to see the day people looked up to a murderous family, well, I guess the day is here (mind you we were thrown to Canada, as long as we stay in this motherfucking icy tundra the whole world is happy. God knows Canadians are so nice they even let crazy fucking bastards like ourselves run around their country. Drink all their syrup, steal their free health care.) I suppose I better start in the beginning, so all you fucks know the truth.
Remember the fun little flick: Seed of Chucky? That shit actually happened. Except it happened like 10 years before Hollywood glamoured it. Don't ask me how, I was only like 9 fucking years old when that shit came out. Despite the absolutely horrible ratings that thing got, it started something magical. My family became an instant cult-classic. My dad's following spread like the black plague, and the rest of us were not doing so bad ourselves. But like all good things, they shut up for a while. Until now, in 2013 my dad was offered a chance to go back into the spot light and well, how could he refuse? Now we're all back!
A quick back story on myself if you are still sticking around. On July 3rd 1995 after some crazy voodoo baby making, Jennifer Tilly woke up and spewed chunks in her purse. On July 5th, she woke up big as a fucking house. On July 7th, she was strapped to a bed with a sock in her mouth and out we came. We being myself, and my brother's body (his soul was already kicking around in hideous doll form for 6 years). Moments later my father snapped, and my mother, still in doll form, took my ugly bro-doll and ran off. She then tracked Jennifer Tilly in the hospital, successfully switched herself over to Jennifer and my brother over to the little boy infant. My dad came to the hospital eventually too, and begged for my mom back. They then named us Glen Charles and Glenda Lynne Ray. The end. My dad didn't kill my mother, and didn't attack my brother 5 years later either. That was all a fabrication of Universal Studios (whom I have NOTHING to do with). The only thing that happened 5 years after I was born, was my mother switched back into that doll because Jennifer Tilly was well into her forties and well...it all goes downhill from there. Ladies and gentlemen, my name is Glenda Lynne Ray. But I go by Gee, like the letter. Because honestly who the fuck under age 50 wants to be cursed with the name Glenda, not this cat. And to make one thing straight, if anybody ever called me any different, I fucking murdered.
Our life growing up was pretty quiet, dad attended comic-cons and killed useless people. My mother tried to cut back on killing and just smoked a lot of weed at night instead, my brother read and pissed a lot, and me? Well, I took my anger out on the cats. I used to fucking slice those kitties' throats and stuff them with cotton. Yeah, it was a little fucked but what does anybody seriously expect out of me? The world just seemed to accept me, not that I knew many people, I spent a lot of time with my dad. I remember being a little shit, about the same height as my father and just watching him sharpen those knives, so delicately. "Whatever the whole fucking world claims, babydoll..." he would begin blowing the dust off the knife. "A good stab wound, never goes out of style." He would let me hold his knife and I would never sway it or fuck around with it. I always liked to open my palms flat out and just stare at it, study it. I was in love with a butcher knife, at age 3. Try telling that to your God.
Ugh God...makes me think of that ridiculous Catholic nanny my mother hired. I think her name was Fulvia. All I'm going to admit is, if I feel any regret for anything in my life, It's for fucking things up for us in Los Angeles. All because of fucking Fulvia, I hated that bitch. She always looked at me the wrong way, like I was the God damn anti-Christ or some shit. I knew I frightened her, and I loved it more than anything on God's green earth. It was my 5th birthday party, I was in my bedroom and I could hear Fulvia saying she wanted to quit because of me. Dad was outside terrorizing children and my mom, back in her Tilly days, was clenching her fists, holding back tears. What she normally did when she was about to have "a little accident". I will never forget crouching down on the floor crawling, trying to get closer to the action. Right by the doorway allowed me to have a perfect audio experience, all of a sudden there was a gleam in my peripherals. Dad's knife. Sitting on the hall table, mom would have killed him if she realized. (No pun intended). I tried to ignore the beckoning call of his knife to focus back on that bitch Fulvia, who I couldn't help but see in my wildest imagination, drenched in steamy, red blood. I rubbed my eyes. She was still there in my mind, a cold lifeless shadow, covered in rich blood. My heart raced, palms sweated and seriously like a scene right out of Donnie fucking Darko I heard a voice. "Come on, Gee. Those looks are never going to stop. She prays the rosary every time she even walks past you. She is going to leave this house today, and rue the day she ever met you. She'll pray you are saved, or she'll hope you go to Hell." If there is one thing in my life I hate more than anything, it's religion. I crawled closer to the hall table, as quietly as I could. "That's right, Gee. End her. Or she'll send God to end you." That was all it took me to snap, I grabbed dad's knife. I ran to Fulvia, I pushed her down. My mother didn't even try to stop me. Without hesitation I stabbed that whore right in the back, and I dragged that knife as far down as I could go. A sea of red flooded the carpets, the furniture and my white dress. Mom put her hands on her hips. "Chucky will never learn to put his weapons away." She walked closer to me and looked into my matching emerald eyes. "You know what, accidents happen. Don't feel bad, sweetheart. Rome wasn't built in a day." She put her finger to her lips, kissed it, and touched mine. "This bitch stole from me anyway, I know she did." Just as she was about to drag Fulvia out, a piercing scream from a little shit disturber kid surrounded our property and was so loud it may as well have been right in your fucking ear. Dad came running from the other side of the house. "What the fuck is going on, that little fuck-" My dad stopped dead in his tracks and just laughed. "Woah! Which one of my special ladies did this! Fucking A! I hated that bitch". As Dad was laughing with hysterical pride, Mom grabbed him by the overall and screamed. "It was Gee! It was fucking Glenda! Some little kid saw her do it! We're fucked Chucky! FUCKED!" Dad fought his way out of Mom's death grip "No we're not, Tiff! Shut up!" he ran towards me. "Daddy's incredibly proud of you, babydoll. But you need to drop that knife and go in your room." He anxiously threw me in my bedroom. He then turned to face my mother who was about to give him the longest lecture of his life. "Tiff don't argue this with me, just grab Glen and go fucking hide somewhere. I'm dealing with this on my own and logically." He winked at my mother and she flipped him off, and ran to grab Glen. I creeped out of my doorway to watch what he was about to do. I loved watching my father kill another human being. Only this time, he didn't kill anybody. He rolled around in Fulvias' blood and stabbed her in the back once more, just in time for the other mothers and children to come see what the noise was all about. I remember seeing projectile vomit, and tears. All I remember my father saying after a long moment of silence was "Bitch stole."
Later that night, I remember my uncle Andy coming over. My dad was a total dick to Andy in the past, like I don't even know why they speak. But Andy loves dad now, now that Charles Lee Ray is a family man. Glen was sitting on the stairs, playing with all the new books and toys he received for his birthday. I remember sitting on the couch, next to my dad, just staring at the floor where Fulvia fell. Reliving the whole scene over and over again. My mother noticed I was staring. "Okay!" She sprang up nervously. "Adult time, kids go to bed." Glen stood up on the stairs. "Do I get a bedtime story tonight, Mommy? Please! It's my birthday!" My mother looked at me and held back tears before facing my brother. "Not tonight honey, I'll read you two tomorrow, I promise." Glen looking slightly disappointed went upstairs to his room. I went down the hall to mine. I didn't close the door all the way, as I wanted to hear what was going on. Which didn't work out so well for me, Uncle Andy didn't talk very loud until he got riled up. "Christ Chucky, you need to leave here. This is a whole lot of unwanted publicity. Why would you kill your fucking nanny?" I heard my dad slowly get up off the couch and walk towards the wall and muttered something. "What?" Andy retorted. "I said..I didn't kill Fulvia! Gee did.." It was silent for a minute. "What? Gee is a 5 year old girl-" My mother stepped in. "Do you forget whose daughter she is?" Andy sort of laughed, "Almost forgot." He then switched to a more serious tone. "Things were going so well Chucky, you're gonna have to take everybody and leave. Wait until things get settled again." That's all I really remember from that night. I remember waking up the next morning to pancakes and my father breaking the news that we were going to be moving to Canada. "Yay!" Glen cried. "I had always wanted to be a world traveler, I never really did get to see snow!" My dad laughed "That's the spirit, buddy." He then turned to me. "What do you think about that, Gee?" I couldn't help but be angry at myself. "I hate the cold! Why do we have to go? I want to stay here!" My father stared at me with those menacing blue eyes. I knew damn well why. "Where's mommy?" Glen asked, always desperate to change the subject. "I'm right here, honey." Her voice certainly was, but I had no clue where the hell she was. "Look down." She replied when we were all hopeless. "Tiff! You're back to the plastic!" My dad said, shocked to see his wife in her old doll body. "Well, I always felt I could get away with more being like this...and besides, Jennifer Tilly is nearly 50. I'm not ready for that shit yet." My dad laughed, "I fucking love you Tiffany." he kissed her.
The next week, we were boarding a plane. I was placed in the window seat as my brother sat beside me. "I'm especially looking forward to the take off!" Glen said excitedly. He tried to get a good look at my face. "What's a matter, Gee? Do you not feel good?" I looked at him. "It's all my fault." Was all I could manage to say. Glen smiled. "Don't be that way, you're going to love Canada." Poor bastard had no clue I killed his favourite playmate, he always was a little bit oblivious. I remember feeling warm tears stroll down my face as the plane took off, it was particularly memorable because, I don't think I had ever shed a tear again in my whole life.
Well that's it! I hope it is not too long! Thank you for making it this far! Feel free to rate and review! Ta ta for now!
PS It will not be so depressing as this one was, I just felt it was really important to Gee's (aka Glenda) character to have the whole story out, that Universal covered the truth with Hollywood glamour. And I also love the idea of Chucky having an amazing bond with his daughter...:D