One Good Thing
Summary: "I'm not a good person, Charlie. Never did a good thing in my life."
Rating: PG
Pairing: Sawyer/Claire
It didn't matter what he wanted, he would never get it.
Every day he sat in his tent pretending to read a book. But really he was watching her. She would walk by with the baby in her arms. And when she would glance over to him he would quickly hide his face behind the book.
When he looked up to her retreating back he could somehow tell she was smiling.
But he never said anything to her. He gave her the wallets he had found while digging in the fuselage. He said "hi" to her when they were waiting in the line to get water. Sometimes he would still read to Aaron while trying his best not to stare at her, not to even make eye contact.
If he did, he would never look away.
But he made that mistake a long time ago.
He hasn't looked away.
For awhile he thought he was on the right track with Kate. Kate was distracting. The type of girl everyone expected a guy like him to have. But then she would walk by. He would get to his feet and follow her for a moment. She would turn around and look at him expectantly.
All he could do was look. Then he'd spit out some nickname and ask if she knew where Kate was. And it hurt him not to see the hurt in her eyes. She didn't care if he asked her about another woman.
Yet, he can't look away.
Even when Kate is right there asking why he's staring off into space when really he's staring at her. Not directly, but from the corner of his eye.
He never says anything, just looks. Almost waits for her to come to him, which she only does to ask him to read to Aaron. It takes him awhile to realize she's been watching him, too. She brings the baby even when he isn't crying and that's when he knows.
One day she finally looks hurt when he asks her where Kate is. And one day he looks hurt when she asks where Charlie is. So he held her hand and brushed her hair behind her ear and told her to keep walking.
She was his one good thing. The one that he wouldn't ruin or corrupt. He wanted her whole, to stay just the way she was. So he told her to go to Charlie or Locke, hell even Desmond.
But she only walked away. All she did was go back to her tent and watch him while rocking the baby. He walked away, but watched her the entire time he pretended to read. She would hurt when he talked to Kate and he would hurt when she talked to Charlie. But whenever she came to him, he would turn her away. Because she was the one. The good one, the sweet one, the considerate one. The only one. The only good thing he had ever done.