For Athena, because she wouldn't stop pestering me and she can be REALLY annoying sometimes. (Only half kidding.)
(taking place in the middle-ish of the movie)
JUST ANOTHER NIGHT
Connor was howling with laughter. Murphy was shooting death glares at him from the bottom of his beer glass. Rocco was just staring dumbfounded.
"You fucking what?" Rocco said in disbelief.
"Fuck off," Murphy muttered.
"You… fucking… retard!" Connor choked.
Murphy punched his twin in the arm. "Shut the fuck up. Can I get another beer?"
"Aye, 'cause that's what you fucking need, more fucking beer!" Connor snatched the drink away.
"Fuck you."
"The fuck, Murph!" Rocco said, still in disbelief. "What the – how the – fucking fuck!"
Murphy ignored him. "Gimme my fucking beer!" he snapped at Connor.
Connor took a swig out of Murphy's glass. "I reckon it's mine now, mother fucker," he taunted.
"Right, like I give a fuck if we share spit."
"You fucking do it enough anyway," Rocco added.
"Aye, lads, but we're straying from the fucking point, aren't we?" Connor asked. "We are here to celebrate little Murph's fucking accomplishment…"
"Fuck you!"
"Later, sweetheart."
"I still don't fucking get it!" Rocco burst out. "I mean, fucking both of you fucking break the fucking law every other fucking night, and you get fucking busted for drunk fucking driving?"
Murphy didn't answer, he was too busy trying to steal his beer back from Connor. Once he had succeeded, he downed the remnants in one go and turned to Rocco. "You think fucking drunk driving is bad, yea?"
"Don't you fucking dare," Connor warned.
"Tell me," Rocco insisted, his eyes wide with anticipation.
"Connor here," Murphy said, fending off blows from Connor as the latter tried to cover Murphy's mouth, "got fucking busted last year for fucking public nudity!"
"Fuck you!" Connor snapped, succeeding in getting a hand over his twin's mouth a second too late. He withdrew his hand sharply at a quick bite from Murphy. "Mother fucker," he muttered.
Rocco stared at them. "Fucking public nudity," he repeated.
"It was Murph's fucking fault!" Connor insisted.
"Aye, blame me for your fucking mistake!"
"What the fuck were you two fucking doing?" Rocco asked incredulously.
Murphy shot a mischievous look at Connor. "You don't fucking wanna know.
"Whatever, man. I'm fucking outta here."
As he left, Connor sighed. "Didja have to tell him the fucking nudity story?"
"You fucking started it," Murphy retorted. He smirked. "Besides, you're fucking cute when you blush."
"Fuck you," Connor said with a grin.
"Later, sweetheart," Murphy mimicked.
"Hey, did they give you my keys back?" Connor said suddenly.
Murphy reached into his pockets. "Um…no."
"You're fucking with me."
Murphy put his hands up in surrender. "You can feel free to meander," he said playfully.
Connor smacked Murphy upside the head. "I can't believe you fucking lost my keys!"
"Oh, gosh, I'm real sorry, Mr. Connor," Murphy said, batting his eyelashes. "Is there anything I can do to make it up to you?"
"I could think of a few things," Connor said thoughtfully. Then he grinned. "But you know what we'll need?"
"What?"
"Some rope."
Murphy grinned. "Aye? What're you gonna use the stupid fucking rope for?"
"Use your fucking imagination."
"You gonna sit there and imagine it, or are we gonna go get some fucking rope?"
the end.
Whaaat? Four full sentences without the word 'fuck'? Scandalous.