~Perhaps~

I know I'm sitting here, without tears and anger, as I watch those fly past me, of which have been sentenced to a cruel death by life itself.

I have not cried, in a while, I suppose. I have simply been resigned to my fate. A fate of darkness, cruelty, distrust, and ultimately, death. There is no way for this to end well, of that I know is an absolute. For I can never truly find absolution. God help me, I no longer know anything, anymore.

It was all in my scheming mind, my massive intelligence, and my ego.

I started with a perhaps. I started with a careful perhaps, inserted in the conversation. That perhaps killed hundreds, because I had manipulated hundreds. I had been convinced it had all been for the greater good.

In the end, it was all for nothing.

So now I sit, wanting absolution, and finding nothing.

Because of a simple "Perhaps" all the while knowing it would never work. I smiled as I said it. Smiled as everything rose and crashed down around me.

For this, I'll know I'll go to hell. And in a Cartesian philosophy, rightly so. Because another word for my Genius, is demon.

I did not think it was possible to demonize Perhaps. But I have. I have risen hopes, all the while working the flames to make sure it would all be for nothing.

It was all logical mentally. I separated my emotions and my conscious, fully allowing myself to become what all Genius' have the ability to come to be. A demon.

And yet…

And yet, even now, what I had done seemed logical. As I have said, I cried. And yet, I do not know what I cried for. I said I wanted absolution- but for what?

I have demonized perhaps, yes. And I feel guilt, not regret.

Perhaps genius' are not human, in a way? Or is this some… condition?

Or have I been this all along?

Forcing myself out of my muse, I turned around and rang the bell for the maid, determined to forget the entire thing- as much as I could, anyhow.

"Yes, Master Fowl?"

I turned around, with a smile on my face, my voice smooth as ever, my eyes cool and calculation.

"Perhaps you could bring my Earl Grey Tea now, Miss Irene?"

"Of course, Master Fowl."

I may have demonized perhaps- and turned my Genius into something far more darker, but for now, I deserve a bit of Tea- Don't you think?