THE PICNIC
Description: Will wasn't looking forward to the LOFTY Dreams end-of-year picnic. For one thing, he was sure that Liz still hated him after her rejection of him at Hunsford. However, the day might turn out better than he hoped.
Author's note: Jack and Jill is a social organization for children and teens founded by wealthy African-American mothers in the early part of the 20th century, at a time when black people were barred from participation in many similar organizations. Over the years, it developed a bit of a reputation for snobbery. Jack and Jill has seen a resurgence in recent years as mothers living in predominantly white suburbs look for ways to help their children connect with other African-American youth. When I first posted "Lofty Dreams" on another site, a couple of readers asked why it included no humorous mentions of Jack and Jill. In their honor, here it is.
Chapter 1
Will was expecting to have a miserable day.
He really didn't want to go to the LOFTY Dreams end-of-year picnic, but he knew he couldn't opt out without raising questions from his mother. The last thing he wanted was to get her started again.
He'd been reduced to begging his cousin Chuck to come, just so he'd have someone to talk to, that's how bad it was. Then his Aunt Lois and Uncle Jeff had said they wanted to come, too, which was okay—maybe they'd help keep his mom occupied.
The sad fact was that he didn't have any friends left in the LOFTY (Leaders of the Future: Today's Youth) Dreams program. Ironic, given how popular he was at his high school. There would be students at the picnic from the older LOFTY classes, but Will wasn't in the mood to get to know anyone new. Although he wouldn't put it past the program directors, Sheila and Paul, to plan some corny get-to-know-you game between the classes, he thought wryly. He'd have to figure out how to slip away in case that happened.
He knew that the problems within his own LOFTY class were his fault. He hadn't tried to become friends with most of the kids. Of those he had been close to, Mike and Anna were no longer speaking to him, and Heather would go along with whatever Anna did.
As for Liz… she was a subject that was painful to think about. He knew she still hated him. She hadn't responded to his email. Not that he'd expected her to, but he'd had a small flicker of hope that maybe it would make a difference. When he'd seen her at the May LOFTY Dreams meeting, he knew that it hadn't. She barely acknowledged him when he'd said hello.
Sheila had stopped him after that meeting and asked how he was doing since her talk with him at the LOFTY Dreams retreat in April. "Other than feeling like pond scum?" he wanted to respond. Sheila had told him he was a disgrace to his late father, his hero and the person he most wanted to emulate. Okay, she hadn't said those words exactly, but that's how he'd heard it. How did she think he would be doing after that?
Surprisingly, Sheila didn't object to his mumbled non-answer. Instead, she'd asked whether or not he had a man in his life who he could talk to.
He shrugged. "My godfather, I guess."
Sheila nodded. "You might want to tell him what happened. See what he thinks."
So he had. He had told Marcus that he needed to talk to him, and they had gone out to eat. "There's this girl..." Will began, and then hesitated for so long that Marcus asked, "Wait, you didn't get someone pregnant, did you?"
"What? No!" Will responded.
Marcus held up his hands. "Just checking. So what's this girl's name?"
"Liz. Elizabeth," Will answered.
"All right, then. Tell me about Elizabeth."
Will had, and Marcus mostly listened in silence, nodding compassionately. However, when Will got to the part about encouraging his cousin Chuck to break up with Liz's sister Janelle, Marcus had actually facepalmed.
"You think I shouldn't have done that," Will said slowly, feeling foolish since Marcus' expression obviously conveyed just that.
Instead of confirming, Marcus said, "Did you know there was a time when your mother and I didn't get along?"
"Really?" Will asked in surprise. His mother wasn't the easiest person to deal with, but she and Marcus were good friends. "Why?"
"Because I thought that she was going to hurt your dad, and she thought I was going to hurt Susan."
"Why'd you think that?" Will asked. He knew the story of how his parents met. His dad's best friend Marcus had started dating his mom's best friend Susan, and Susan had set Will's parents up on a date. However, he didn't know much about how things proceeded from there, other than that his parents eventually got married, and Marcus and Susan broke up.
"Susan and Billy were both wonderful, kind, sweet, loving people. I always thought it was ironic that they never got together and instead chose me and your mom. Meanwhile, your mom and I both had rougher backgrounds, and had dealt with a lot of mistrust and pain." He shrugged. "That stuff comes out in your relationships."
Will nodded, thinking back to his young childhood when his parents used to fight a lot, with his mom often screaming and hurling insults at his father. He recalled all the times he had tried to console Jenny, who was afraid their parents would get divorced, with a comfort he himself didn't feel. But their parents had worked through a lot of their struggles, and their marriage and lives had gotten much, much better.
Until his dad died.
"The reason I'm telling you this," Marcus went on, "is that although Marletta and I let each other know that we didn't trust each other, we never shared that with Susan and your dad."
"Why not?"
"Because it wasn't our place. Billy and Susan were adults. They had to work out their relationships for themselves. And looking back, I'm so glad I stayed out of it. What if I had interfered, and it led to Billy breaking up with your mom?"
Will looked up in shock. His family would have never come to be.
Marcus made that point explicit. "They had some hard times, but overall, your mom and dad were very happy together. And best of all, they had you and Jenny. None of that would have happened if I had convinced them to break up."
"But..." Will interjected, "Janelle cheated on Chuck." That still mattered, didn't it?
"You don't know that for sure, do you? You just know she started to avoid him, and drew that conclusion. Listen, men can be knuckleheads sometimes, and women sometimes expect us to realize it. Maybe Chuck did something to hurt Janelle, and she was giving him the silent treatment until he figured it out. Instead, you told him to end it."
Will swallowed hard. "Okay, so I was stupid. But what should I do now? Liz didn't reply to my email, and she wouldn't talk to me at the last meeting."
"Did you apologize to her in the email, or were you just trying to justify yourself?"
When Will didn't respond, the answer was obvious to Marcus. "Well then, apologizing to her might help," he told him. "And after that, just be a friend to her. Don't put any pressure on her for anything else. If something more is meant to be, it'll happen."
Will left that dinner loathing himself even more. He had hurt Liz badly, he could see that now more than ever, and he wanted to make it right. But how do you apologize to someone who won't even talk to you? And how do you be a friend to someone who hates your guts?
At least his mother's lectures had finally died down. She'd been all over his case, wondering why he was so moody after coming back from the retreat at Hunsford, especially since she'd been told that the event was supposed to be such a great experience for the participants.
Then she talked to Mike's mom. His mother and Mrs. Allen had met at the LOFTY welcome dinner in October and had stayed in touch. Mike had come back from the retreat in a bad mood, also, and apparently, he'd told his mother what had happened.
His mother threw a fit after the phone call. "What on earth is wrong with you?" she had yelled. "I did NOT raise you to act like some 'playa' from the 'hood, having girls fight over you. And this whole thing would involve three kids of color! You know how bad that makes us look to people like Mrs. Allen?"
By "us," Will knew his mother meant black people. "Did Mrs. Allen say something about that?"
"She didn't have to! I could tell what she was thinking. You're supposed to represent us better than that!"
There she went, with "us" again. Will rolled his eyes and tuned her out as she continued yelling.
When screaming didn't work, she tried the guilt trip. "This is all my fault. Your father and I moved out to Pemberley because we wanted you and Jenny to go to the best schools. But we should have realized that you wouldn't have many dating opportunities because of it."
He almost laughed. Did his mom really believe that his dating pool was limited at Pemberley High? He wondered if he should enlighten her.
"I knew I should have gotten you involved with Jack and Jill! And because I didn't, you fall for the first pretty black girl who comes along, no matter how ghetto she is."
Ghetto. That was what Mike had called Liz, too, simply because of where she grew up. It was a label that made no sense, and because Will loved Liz, it stung like a personal insult. Liz was beautiful, smart, sweet, and funny. Why couldn't they see that?
Eventually his mother stopped carrying on, and then his younger sister picked up where she left off, only teasing him instead. Jenny couldn't help but hear all the commotion, and had pressed him for more details. "I have to meet this girl who has you all wrapped around her finger!" she said.
Jenny had been teasing him nonstop that morning. "So is today the day I'm going to meet your girlfriend?" she asked mischievously.
"Forget about it!" he joked back. "There's no way I'm going to let you get anywhere near her."
Actually, he had a lot of affection for his sister and would love to introduce her to Liz. His joking was a way of deflecting the fact that he doubted Liz would even talk to him.
His mom let him drive them to the picnic in his new car, a concession, he figured, for all the fighting they had been doing lately.
The picnic was held at a large state park on a sunny Sunday afternoon in June. Balloons and LOFTY Dreams signs directed them to an area with several long picnic tables. Two caterers were standing in a covered pavilion, grilling burgers and hotdogs, and a variety of side dishes and beverages were available. His aunt and uncle and cousin were already there, sitting at a table and eating.
Will clasped hands with Chuck and Uncle Jeff, and allowed Aunt Lois to kiss him as they sat down. "They have touch football going on over there," Chuck said. "Want to join a game later?"
Will nodded absently. He was scanning the area to see if he could see Liz. He finally spotted her when he and his mom and Jenny got up to get plates of food. She was sitting with her parents at a nearby picnic table. There was another girl with them, laughing loudly. Another sister, he guessed. The Bennet sisters all seemed to be really pretty.
Liz looked up for a moment, and he could see her face. His heart did a flip-flop. If he had thought he'd be over his feelings by now, he couldn't have been more mistaken. He was just as much in love with her as ever.
"I don't know why I got this pop," his mother complained, looking at the can of cola in her hand after they returned to their seats. "I hate sweet drinks on a hot day. Will, will you see if they have any water over there?"
He walked back over to the pavilion and started searching through the ice-filled barrels that contained beverages. He had spotted a bottle of water and was fishing it out when he heard someone call his name. He looked up to see Anna standing there.
"Can I talk to you for a minute?" she asked.
"Go ahead," he replied tersely. He didn't want to talk to Anna.
He immediately regretted snapping at her when he saw the uneasy look that crossed her face. Anna fidgeted with the necklace she was wearing, sliding the charm back and forth across the chain.
"Liz and I did the community service project this past week," she said, referring to the consequence she and Liz had received for fighting at the retreat. "It went well. She's pretty cool."
Will nodded wordlessly.
"You really like her, don't you?"
Will felt himself tense up. Then he looked at Anna's face. There was no hostility there, nor had there been in her voice. He softened. "Yeah, I do."
"I know you were trying to let me down easy at Hunsford, but I wasn't listening, because I didn't want to hear it. I know I got in the middle of you and Liz. I'm sorry about that, and I hope it works out for you and her. That's all I wanted to say."
Without waiting for his reply, Anna turned and walked away. Will stood in silent surprise for a minute. Then he began to feel oddly encouraged, for the first time that day. If Anna's attitude had changed so much in two months, maybe Liz's had as well.
He returned to the table where his family was sitting and gave his mother the bottle of water. He wanted to go talk to Liz, but she was still sitting with her parents. He'd wait and see if he could catch her alone. He started eating his burger.
About ten minutes later, he saw Liz rise and walk away. He stood to see if he could catch up with her, but Kathy, another girl from the LOFTY program, was by Liz's side before he could start moving. Will sat back down.
Several minutes later, Liz was sitting at another picnic table with all of the girls from their LOFTY Dreams class. He was starting to feel like he'd never have a chance to talk to her.
Maybe he should go over there anyway. He'd already made a fool of himself at Hunsford, so it wasn't like it could get any worse. By the end of the retreat, everyone had known he liked her. So what did it matter if he walked over there to talk to her?
Will made a decision, and stood up again.