Marco and Jake Strike Back

EPISODEVI

(Disclaimer: See Episode V,it's the same.)

A taxi pulled up in front of a path leading to a temple in rural Japan, and two familar Americans showed up. They tipped the taxi driver and climbed the stairs and followed the rest of the path up to a wooden gate with two robot gardians of Princess Ayeka. The wooden sentinals turned their lenses toward the on comers and quickly reconized them, they had come before, it was Marco and Jake, the two guys who had come last spring and almost killed Tenchi !

Kamadaki: "So you two! Come for a second try?"

Azka: " I must say you two are presistant, I'll give you that. Haa Haa!"

Marco: " Yeah, I love you too."

Both: " Haa Haaa Haa!"

They pushed pass the smart ass gardians and made their way to the house, and found no one in sight, execpt Tenchie's grandfather, Yosho. They both bowed before him, remembering their manners and asked causally were Tenchi was.

Grandpa: " He's in Washu's lab."

Jake: " Thanks sir, nice to see you again."

Grandfather: "Try not to kill each other this time, okay?"

They head in inside and to the pink door on the side of the stairs the come into a large national park slash lab. Sitting at a transparent lab top was Washu, constrating on the screen and Tenchi stood next to her holding lab equipment.

Marco: " Weeeee'rreee baaaaaack."

Tenchi: " Hi guys, glad to see to you again."

Washu: "Glad you're here, the problem has gotten worse then before between my 'daughter' and Ayeka. Besides they not right for Tenchi."

Tenchi looks embarsed and shrugged at Marco and Jake, who tried to keep straight faces. Then suddenly there was screaming and a crash upstairs. They all rolled their eyes and headed back into Tenchi's house to see Ryoko and Ayeka grappling with each other, again. Ryoko connected with her elbow, while a timed kick in the grion from Ayeka planted itself. Marco and Jake starred in a mixture of fasination and laughter at Tenchi's atempts at breaking them up. After half an hour the two women did, only out of fatuge and hunger. Marco then started Operation "War". After they seperated, he followed Princess Ayeka out side. He sided up to her and began to make some small talk.

Marco: " You know, you're a very beautiful and very dignified woman."

Ayeka: " Thank you."

Marco: " I know Tenchi pretty well and I think he goes for your type."

Ayeka: " Really?"

Marco: " Sure! In fact Ryoko makes him nervous around you ,because he doesn't want to hurt any feelings! Now maybe if she wasn't around….."

He it let hang and walked off, surppressing a laugh as he watched Ayeka walk off with a devous smile on her face. Then he went to find Ryoko and give her the same idea with his smooth talk. Jake found him sitting in front of the temple with Ryoko near him hanging on his every word.

Marco: " So you see He really likes a loose additude and would gladly go out with you but the Princess how ever, is crowding him! Now there must be some solution to that…."

Ryoko: " Um.. have to go do something…important, bye!"

She dissapeared and Marco looked around and motioned Jake to follow him. They headed for the woods and then Jake couldn't stand it any longer.

Jake: " HOW do you do IT?!!!"

Marco: " How do I do what?"

Jake: " Smooth talk!"

Marco: " First of all the people who fall for it are either not thinking or natural born suckers."

Jake: " Is that why it doesn't work on us and the teachers?"

Marco: " You know, if really tried, you could be an ever bigger smart ass then me?"

Jake: " Continue on, oh master of the tonuge."

Marco: " I'll let that one slide. Anyway Here's my plan in three phases, I just completed phase one of it and now comes phase two,( he holds up pens and paper,) we write letters from Tenchi to them, sent by Ryo-Ohki, who I've already bribed, er convinced to do this for us."

Jake: " What's phase three?"

Marco: " We let THEM do the rest for us. Instead of you being in traction this time, THEY will! Pretty ingenious, huh?"

Jake: " It will be IF it works."

Marco: " Trust me."

Jake groaned and helped write the letters with Marco. Then Ryo- Ohki delivered the goods to Ryoko and Ayeka. When she went back to Washu's lab, she was dragging a large basket of carrots. Then Marco dragged Jake out to a clearing in the woods a foot or so from the house and they crouched down in the bushes.

Marco: " Any minute now!"

Jake: " Remember you still owe me $350 of the $500 you owe me, you don't want to start at $500 again, now do you? "

Marco: " Keep up your practice, you forgot the sneering tone, but it was almost perfect."

Then Ayeka showed up and stood there nervously shaking and holding the fake letter in her left hand. After 5 minutes Ryoko rose out of the ground and the two locked eyes, and began to verbly fight.

Ayeka: " What are you doing here?! Tenchi will be here any minute, you liable to scare him off!"

Ryoko: " Oh come on! He's meeting me here and you better leave before I kick your sorry little ass out of here!!"

Ayeka: " Hmm! I'd expect that from you! Tenchi and I are destaned to be together and your merely denying him it!!"

Ryoko: " You've got it wrong, I better for him, and your in my way!!!"

Ayeka: " Bring It On, you bitch!"

Ryoko: " You want to fight, We'll fight, you stuck up whore!!"

They began to fight, rolling around kicking, punching, poking, jabbing, tearing, and biting. They would of countuined execept they both realized something about their situation. Jake had luckly decided that he didn't want watch the fight and went back to the house before the girls fought. It saved him.

Ayeka: " Did it just occure to you…"

Ryoko: "..That we're waiting for the same person….

Ryoko+ Ayeka: " ..At the same place and time!!!!!"

They both checked their letters and Marco began to feel pangs of fear.

Ayeka: " Our theory was right, this ISN'T Tenchi's hand writing!!"

Marco: Damn,I knew I should have used a word processor!!

Ryoko: "You know, I've seen this writing before.. Hey, this is Marco's handwriting !!"

Ayeka: " Exactly!!"

There was a slight russling in a near by bush, they headed over and pushed it aside to revile Marco, with a sheepish and scared look on his face.

Marco: " Pretty funny joke huh? Heh heh heeehh."

Ryoko: ( rolling up her sleave,) Here's an even funnier one!

Marco of course did as any person would in his place, ran and screamed like a little girl. All through the woods there was shouts of " HELP ME!!!! GOD, NO!!! and GET AWAY FROM WITH THAT!!!!!" There was also a lot of painful crunching, smacking, and noise that sounded roughly like a cat being throttled by a blender. Marco came running up to the house and slamed the door in Ryoko's face. It stopped her for 30 secondeds then she came through the door. Marco did a classic anima face of fear and ran for Washu's lab, screaming " FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THINGS DECIENT, HIDE ME!!!!!!!!!!" Ryoko and Ayeka came bursting in 10 seconds later, to find nothing but Washu at her computer and Jake watching her. Shrugging ,they quitly left and Marco came out of dementional rift. His clothing was tattered, he was covered with scratches bruises, and his nose was bleeding.

Marco: " Are they gone yet?"

Jake: " They're gone."

Marco: " Thanks."

Washu: " No problem."

Marco: " Well let's take a 5 hour break and try somethin' else.'

Jake: " Sure."

Marco: "Smoke if ya got 'em."

He fell over on his face and groaned in pain.

Jake: " Better ready the sick bay."

The Next Morning…..

Marco refused to give up and plainly stated it at breakfast, he just got of Washu's lab, he had banages all over and barly got out with out a final check up from Washu. Jake was happly eating breakfast when Marco stormed in and grabbed him by his shrit collar. Ryoko and Ayeka gave him inoccent smiles as he dragged Jake out side.

Ayeka: " Sleep well last night?"

Marco: " You may have won the battle, but the war is far from over! I will continue untill either your out of comission, or Jake is!!"

Jake: " I am?!"

Marco: " Work with me dude."

Ryoko: " Try not to piss yourself next time!"

Marco finally let go of Jake when they came to the temple and going in they bowed before Tenchi's grandfather.

Marco: " Excuse me, sir, we were wondering…

Grandpa: " Over there on the table."

Marco and Jake looked at each other with amazement, but Marco diled up Tenchi's number and asked for Miyoshi. When she answered, Marco imitated the sound of her grandfather's voice.

Marco: (using a high class accent,) " Darling, I mean, Detective, report back to the main office imeaditly! I'll see you there, no buts, just get here ASAP!!!!"

Miyoshi: " Yes Grandpa, I mean Sir!"

Marco: " Yes, yes and Do stay a while."

Marco: ( after hanging up,) "One down, two to go."

They left and then headed to the house and in to Washu's lab. She looked up from her work and scowled at them.

Washu: "I'm working here, do you mind? Come back next week some time Wednesday!"

Marco: " We just need to know something about Ryoko, ya know, were she from, how strong she is, how old she is, what kind of powers she has, when's her birhday, how to restrain her, stuff like that."

Jake: " Please, Little Washu?"

She gave them a " What-are-you-up-to?" look. They gave her the classic " Who me?" look. She finally caved in. She opened a portal and handed them large coil of rope glowing pink and white.

Wahsu: " This rope will hold her and regular rope will hold Lady Ayeka."

Marco: " I humbly grovel and worship you! Thankyouthankyou thankyou!!!!!!"

Whashu: " I'm only doing this for Tenchi, myself, and because Jake called me ' Little Washu.' Now go do what ever your going to do and leave me to my work."

They came out carring the rope a net and trip wire and went off to set them up in frount of Tenchi's room. They spent the rest of the day smiling smugly and sneaking around, Marco did anyway, Jake spent the rest of the day hanging out with Tenchi and Sasami. Then at 11:00 at night, after every one was a sleep except for three people. Marco was sitting in a corner with a walky talky and a large container of coffee, fighting sleep. Ryoko was sneaking towards Tenchi's room, and Princess Ayeka was bound, gagged, and stuffed in a laundry bag, down in the hall closet; Ryoko's handy work. Sasami, Washu, Tenchi, and Jake were siting in Tenchi's room waiting for the show to start.

Marco: " Breaker, breaker! This is Baldwin5, come in Fearless leader, COME IN!

Jake: " Yah?"

Marco: " Intruder in sector 8! Going to intersept! Over and out!!"

Jake: "Whatever."

Marco: " He didn't even use the radio lingo."

Marco crouched in the darkness ready to pounce and spring his trap. Ryoko stuck her head through the door to the room Marco and Jake were staying and checked to see if they were asleep, then contiued to Tenchi's room, not noticing the trip wire in the hall, she fell and Marco jumped her. They fought for 10 minutes before Marco emerged the victor and Ryoko was trussed up.

Marco: " Well that was fun. You know this is a real Kodak moment. ( he pulls out a camra,) Say cheese!"

Ryoko: " Mphhh. Rrrrphh!!!!"

Marco: " Close enough."

Marco snapped the photo and went to Tenchi's room to gloat, but forgot about the second trip wire and a net sprang up encasing Marco in it's sticky strands. Only a leg, one of his hands, and his nose stuck out of the net. Mean while Ryoko worked the gag out of her mouth and began to laugh.

Marco: "I knew I should of used tape."

Ryoko: "Who gets the last laugh now, Marco?"

Marco: " You know were stuck, don't you, your tied up and I'm caught in this #$%^#@! net."

She stopped laughing and they both sat silent for a second or two then began to yell.

Marco: " Jake?!"

Ryoko: " Tenchi?!"

Marco: " Little Washu?!!"

Ryoko: "Sasami?!!"

Their pleas fell upon deaf ears, they were asleep and beyond hearing until morning.

Marco + Ryoko: " SOMEBDY??!!!!!!!!!!!"

THE NEXT ,NEXT DAY……..

Breakfast was as usal as it can be except Marco wasn't there. Good thing he wasn't or he would have gotton the crap beaten out of him by Ryoko. She and Ayeka wre sore, tired, and more pissed than a Pit Bull in heat. Then there was a ring at the door and Ayeka answered it. Standing there was a guy in a poastal uniform, carring a mail bag, and wereing a sly smile. It was realy Marco standing on stilts and wereing a fake beard and cheap sunglasses.

Ayeka: " Good Morning, what is it you want?"

Marco: " Are you Princess Ayeka, have a letter for you."

She took it and Marco walked away and as soon the door close he ran around the side of the house and threw of his digusie. He then calmly strode in to the house and right into Ayeka and Ryoko. Ayeka was clutching the letter and they were lookinng at Marco with vengeful eyes.

Ryoko: " This has to be your most pathtic atempt to get rid of us yet!"

Marco: Shit!! They didn't buy it!! SHIT!!!!!!

Ayeka: " Giving us this draft form for the army! What we're you thinking?!"

Half an hour later Marco entered Washu's lab and tapped her on the shoulder.

Washu: " What is it this time?"

Marco: " Teluh me, are you hany gudh at removing objectsuh from people?"

Washu: " What's the matter got a cold…AAAAAAA!!!!!

She fell out of her chair when she saw Marco with the draft form stuffed up his nose. She sighed and pushed Marco into a chair and pulled out a tool resembling a tiny claw. Marco began to squirm and eyed the tool like a pit viper.

Washu: " Stop squirming, it won't take more then a minute, if you just calm down.

Jake was about to enter Washu's lab when he heard screaming coming form with in. He stood by the door wondering if he should go in and after a second his curiosity won over him and he entered. He saw Marco on the ground clutching his nose and sobing, and Washu holding a letter that was crumpled and covered with blood and snot.

Washu: "I have to agree with them, what were you thinking?"

Marco: " Shut up."

Jake: " You feeling okay, man?"

Marco: " No I'm Not!!! I'm on my last leg, I'm running out of material and it's taxing my optimisem. I can't go on!! WAHHHHHH!!!!!!!"

Jake: (slapping Marco across the face,) " SNAP OUT OF IT!!!!!!!"

Marco: " Thanks I needed that. Any way theres only one thing to do..*Sigh*…Retreat.

Jake: "Retreat?"

Marco: " Yah, but with dignity."

Marco and Jake packed their bags and the next morning said good bye to Tenchi and the rest. As they left the house Marco turned around and doned a genral's hat, pipe and suglasses.

Marco: "I shall return!!"

As Marco marched away Jake elbowed him and they took their plane home, Marco already planning their revenge.

THE END