Title: Just One Chance
Author: Flowerlady
Timeframe: Legacy Era AU
Warning: Exile spoilers/speculation
Characters: Kyp/Jaina, OC
Genre: Angst
Summary: Jaina and Kyp find themselves drawn to each other.
Disclaimer: I own nothing… GL owns Star Wars and the song is "Far Away" by Nickleback…
A/N: This is written for the "This Time, This Place" Challenge on the Rogue and Goddess Thread…This plot bunny also came about during a conversation with a fellow Kyp fan.
Just One Chance
Kyp stared out the living room window without seeing the traffic or the bright lights of the Coruscant night and again wondered what he was doing. His life had been turned upside down again by her. He had been happy. He had found a woman who didn't care that he was an important Jedi Master, she didn't care that he had faltered and touched the Darkness, and she wanted him for more than just a few amazing trysts between the sheets. Sure, Kyp didn't deny the fact that that was exactly how it all started, but six months later he realized the Senate aide meant more to him than just what she could do for him while flat on her back. And he meant tremendously more to her. She loved him and with one uttered word in the heat of the wrong time he shattered it.
He saw her again on the landing platform a week ago after she returned with the Skywalkers from Hapes. Since then she had been flooding his dreams and senses until he couldn't sleep. His mind kept going back to a time of mistakes, misunderstandings and missed opportunities. He had spent the best part of ten years trying to put that in the past. He avoided contact with her and hadn't seen her since the Swarm War. However, he couldn't fool himself into thinking that she meant less to him then what she did. She was more than just his friend's daughter. She was more than just his one-time apprentice. She was more than just his by-gone partner. She was everything and it was about time he stopped avoiding that fact.
Because, like it or not, he couldn't any longer.
"I'm sorry, Dayle," his voice was quiet as he voiced the words as he felt her injured presence draw closer, but he didn't turn to look at her.
"Is that all you've got to say, Durron?" she snapped back. "You kriffin' Hutt, you called me by her name. Her name!"
Kyp let his shoulders fall and turned to look at the woman who could have very well became his wife. Now all he felt was her pain, anger and betrayal. Her tussled auburn hair hung over her shoulders and her blue eyes flashed dangerously. Kyp swallowed and ran his hand through his long curling hair then he responded to the accusation, "Dayle, I don't want you to leave. I am truly sorry I let the past interfere with what we have. What I've found with you. I—I care for you, Dayle."
"Yeah, you may care for me, but you love her!" Kyp cringed at the venomous tone and opened his mouth to deny her claim but he quickly closed it. He couldn't lie to her any longer, but more importantly he couldn't lie to himself.
"I thought so," her voice cracked as she said the words and Kyp watched the tears gather at the corners of her eyes that she desperately tried to hold back. She turned then and Kyp watched her go. At the door she turned suddenly and said acidly, "I guess I should have known better. My friends warned me about falling for you. They were right. Good riddance, Kyp."
The next morning Kyp left the small apartment and went to the only place he could think of—the Jedi Temple. He knew she'd be back to get her things and he thought it better if he wasn't there. He left the lift and headed down the corridor toward his office.
He rounded the corner and suddenly felt her agitated presence. Gritting his teeth he wanted to turn around and flee. She was the last person he wanted to see now. Why can't she leave me alone? Haven't I given her enough already?
However, he couldn't turn away. He was concerned about the furious torrent of raging raw emotion that she bled into Force. And like a flitnat was drawn to a glowlamp, Kyp was drawn to her.
Her hair was pulled haphazardly into a tail that hung down her back, the non-descript dark green Jedi flight suit looked as if she had slept in it. Her posture was a knot of irritation and as she turned in her pacing he saw that her arms were crossed tightly over her chest. Then he met her deep sienna eyes and Kyp thought his heart stopped beating. Even through her anger and pain, he thought she was the most beautiful woman in the galaxy.
"Jaina. What are you doing here?"
"Kyp, I didn't know where else to go. Zekk is still recovering and I need help." She then swallowed but she never looked away from his eyes. "Actually, this isn't Zekk's place. It isn't yours either, I guess, but I know you and Dad have always been close and I know you would want to help me." She tumbled over the words and Kyp somehow knew what it was that was bothering her. Then she confirmed with more conviction, "How could he do this, Kyp? How can he hunt down his own parents like they were common criminals when they didn't do anything but try to help?"
Kyp sighed and took the young woman, who filled his dreams with her dark eyes and silky hair and her smooth creamy skin, into his arms and held her. "I don't know what's going on with Jacen. But I know I don't like it."
She pulled away and looked up at him, her eyes pleading, "Is the Council really going to make him a Master?"
He bitterly responded, "I'm afraid so. Omas and the Senate are demanding it. The Council really doesn't have a choice and we have a vacancy that needs filled at a desperate time."
She stepped away again and began to pace. Kyp couldn't remember a time when he'd seen Jaina in such a state. Finally, he said, "Let's go into my office and talk. I get the feeling that what you have in mind isn't something I what the rest of the Order to know about."
She stopped pacing and gave him a prodigy of her crocked grin, "No. It's probably not."
Once inside they began to plan the event that they both knew would change their lives.
This time, This place
Misused, Mistakes
Too long, Too late
Who was I to make you wait
Just one chance
Just one breath
Just in case there's just one left
'Cause you know,
you know, you know
Jaina pulled the drive lever into position and Kyp watched as the diamond points of light lengthened and stretched into the blue whirl of hyperspace. Kyp swallowed and Jaina turned to him, her eyes apologetic, "I'm sorry, Kyp. Maybe I shouldn't have dragged you into this."
He turned to meet her eyes and slowly shook his head, "No, Jaina, if I didn't think we were doing the right thing I wouldn't have agreed." But as he said the words he couldn't help but wonder if they were true. He'd do anything she'd ask of him and he knew it. Even if it destroys me in the end.
She then stood and headed out of the cockpit and he could do nothing but follow. Now was probably not the time for this but he couldn't go on like this. He sacrificed nearly everything for her and he was tired of the one-sideness of his relationship with her. He had to know if she felt anything at all for him.
"Jaina," he gently said as he sat down at the table in the common area. She paused by the beverage processor and he went on, "we need to talk."
She slowly turned and met his intense golden flecked green eyes, then she softly responded, "Yes, I think we do."
"I think you should sit down for this," he said and she complied after she brought them each a cup of caf to the table. "Jaina, I need to know."
She gazed deeply into his eyes; her voice was soft, "Need to know what, Kyp?"
He swallowed then quietly said, "What will happen after we find your parents? Will we just go back to pretending?"
She was quiet for a long time; finally, she stood and turned away from him as she hugged herself. After another long pause she softy said in a weepy voice, "You don't get it do you, Kyp? By the Force, why me?"
She turned and went on before Kyp had a chance to reply to her remarks. "I finally convinced Zekk that we would never be more than friends and now you."
"Jaina…"
She cut him off with a slashing motion, "Kyp, I am the Sword of the Jedi. I will never know peace. I will never know happiness. You were there when that piece of wonderful prophesy was announced, remember? I am probably the only one that can truly understand what Grandfather felt like when he was deemed the Chosen One."
"What does this have to do with anything?"
She glared at him, "Everything!" She stepped closer to his chair and kneeled down beside him. Suddenly, her eyes softened as she took his hand, "Kyp, I know that you love me." At his surprise she actually smiled, "I've known for a long time."
His voice nearly cracked when he inquired, "But you feel nothing for me, do you?"
Jaina sadly grinned, "Kyp, I love you with my entire being."
Kyp inhaled sharply at the astonishing quietly spoken words. He reached out and brushed his fingers over her cheek. "You really love me?" she smiled at the incredulous tone.
But her anguish caused them both to lose the brightness in their expressions, "Yes, Kyp, I really love you. And for that reason, I can never be with you. I will only destroy you. Like I did Jag."
"That makes no sense, Jaina. I've only ever wanted you," Kyp felt the sting of tears in his eyes and he abruptly stood, knocking the chair over. Jaina actually had to brace herself against the table. "Vape it to hell, Jaina! You torture me at night. I've only ever wanted to be with you. Not being with you is destroying me!" He yelled at her after spinning back to face her. "I was this close to asking Dayle to marry me," he held out his thumb and forefinger in a pinching gesture that was nearly touching. "This close! Damn you!" He spun away and heaved.
Jaina stood and moved to stand behind him, "Did you love her?"
He looked darkly at her, "I cared for her. I liked her and we got along well. She loved me and we had a great sex life. Given the chance I may have grown to love her."
Jaina swallowed, "I felt that for Zekk," she blushed slightly but didn't remove her eyes from his, "except for the sex part; we never…" She shook her head once and went on, "But that wasn't enough for me to want to marry him. I didn't love him. Kyp, if you didn't love her, marrying her would have been wrong."
He bitterly scoffed, "Wrong? Maybe. But at least I'd have been happy. I was very happy until you showed up in my life again like a Tatooine sandstorm." He paused for a moment and some of the anger left him as he returned his gaze to hers, "Jaina, what are you really telling me? I'm too tired for anymore games."
"Kyp," she laid her hand on his cheek and gently caressed it. "All I'm saying is we can't have a future together. I may love you and you may love me but that still doesn't mean we are meant to be."
"Then what can we have? Because, Jaina, I need something from you," his gaze was imploring as he held hers captive.
Finally she whispered, "We can have right now. We can have this time. These two days in hyperspace while we head to where my parents may be."
"Jaina, that isn't fair. I want you forever." He unconsciously moved his arms tightly around her, as if he had no intentions of ever giving her up.
He noticed the moisture in the corners of her eyes as she whispered, "Neither of us have forever, Kyp. We own only the right now. The future is in turmoil, I've seen it, Kyp. I know I will play an important role in that future."
"Let me be there beside you," he breathed only a hair's breadth from her full moist lips.
"Where I'm going, I'm afraid I will have to go alone." Before he could respond again she captured his lips with hers and moved to wrap her hands around his neck. At first the kiss was a gentle, sad acknowledgement of their entangled love, but then passion exploded within them both. Kyp pulled her closer, so close that he could feel the outline of her curves against him. She moaned as they broke for air but not for long, he bent and possessed her lips again in a demanding kiss.
Finally, with them both breathless, Kyp determinedly stared into her eyes, "Then if this is all that I can have, I will take it. I will not deny myself any longer, Jaina. I can't stay away from you anymore."
Kyp kissed her again while he swept her into his arms and carried her to the berth in the back cabin where they let their love and passion carry them to a blissful end. However, they both knew that they'd never completely be able to walk away. They would forever be haunted by this time, this place.
That I love you
I have loved you all along
And I miss you
Been far away for far too long
I keep dreaming you'll be with me
and you'll never go
Stop breathing if
I don't see you anymore
fin
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I'm not to sure about this, actually...I don't listen to pop music and I've only heard this song a few times, though it is an awesome song. But anyway...I hope that you like...the real ending is up to you since I left this fairly open ended.
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Hope that you enjoyed...please don't forget to comment...
FL