Zelda Chat
Entering forum "Where are they now"
Legendofzeldabiggestfan1: Where are they? The characters we all miss? Saria, Malon, skull kid, Anju,
Kafei, Aryll, and king of red lions? I like them, they are important!
Princess Zelda: forget them, kid. They are old news.
Kafei: That's a lie! We still have fans! I might not, but Saria, Malon, and skull kid especially!
Legendofzeldabiggestfan1: I need to understand more. Kafei? What happened?
Kafei: Let them explain. Saria!
Saria: I'm Saria, and what happened was that Zelda sealed me away in the forest temple, never to return. I was just Link's friend, and she tried to keep me as far as possible!
Malon: Zelda sent evil Sheikah to cut my arms and legs off. I am with the others, in Nintendo heaven.
Princess Zelda: Don't listen to them. They deserved it. Besides, I am the main character, right? Who cares about those third class characters?
Mario: Yay forums! Uh…something going on?
Princess Zelda: nothing. Stay out of this, Marty.
Mario: :-( You did those things?!? And by the way, I was friends with them, too!
Princess Zelda: Shut up, plumber boy.
Skull kid: Who's the new member? Midna or something? If you are reading this, do not trust Zelda. I got one single vote in a popularity contest, and she got over 1,000. Because of that one vote, my remains are in her fireplace.
Legendofzeldabiggestfan1: This is too hard to understand! Why would Zelda do that?
Kafei: Zelda wants to be the only one cared about. If she so much as hears one person saying they like another character, or are liked, she will have them killed.
Left the forum "Where are they now"
Nintendo headquarters: Zelda! Your contract is null and void! You told us they joined Sega, and called us cheap! We started a war because of that!
Zelda: So what? Sega doesn't matter! They don't matter, Only I am important!
Nintendo: I put your character up for sale. We will replace you with Midna. She is better.
Zelda: How?!? She is a freak princess!
Nintendo: You never helped the hero. You almost never were around him, except when you had to give him help. Midna stayed by Link's side all the way. She wanted you to help Link when she was dying, instead of you following the scripts, even though she knew you were rotten! Link and her have strong bonds, and you are that "girl that needs protected, no questions asked".
Zelda: People will beg for me! They all need me!
Nintendo: Sold!
Zelda: What?!? Who?!?
Nintendo: The Sega company will become allies again if we give you to them free. They've got a special job for you.
Sega Headquarters
Sega: Sonic, we have two new members coming. One is a small prairie dog thing called chip, who will be in our new game, Sonic unleashed.
Sonic: Want me to show him around Sega base?
Sega: No thanks, you need to rehearse for the game. The second member is princess Zelda. I want you to bring her to the janiter dorms, as she is our new restroom cleaner.
Opening happy ending:
Yay! Happy! Everybody feels happy now! War between Nintendo and Sega has been settled, no Zelda characters are dying, and Zelda gets to clean up dirty toilets!