Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto… I own my OC, though!
This came out in my mind while reading the new chapter of 'From Ramen with love'. I don't know if it's a category, but I like those kind of fics really much. Similar to it, like: 'Icha Icha: the true story' or 'With the soul and boxers of fire'. So, I decided to write a fic like those ones, with the slight variation that makes it unique. Basically, quoting Dutch-erosennin, this is a Naruto X A whole lot of girls fic, meaning that Naruto pretty much will have multiple things with multiple women. So… Enjoy! Revieeeeeew!
P.S.: The OC has just my name. THIS IS NOT A SELF-INSERTION FIC!
Let's take Naruto out
Chapter1: Here comes WHO?
Insert Music here: "Here comes the boom"-Nelly-The longest yard OST
Guard duty. A really boring thing to do. Nothing really happened. The chunin appointed to do the task was almost tempted to wish for another attack from the sound just to break the boredom. Not a single soul in the entire morning. He was glad that it was almost lunch-time. A break, and then the long-waited-for-change. Then… He noticed something. A shadow… No, a figure. Someone had exited the forest and was coming towards the gate. Because of the sun he couldn't see much of him. But the figure approached nonetheless the gate, and then raised his head to look at him.
"Hey. Is this Konoha?" The figure said.
"Yes. State your business here." Replied the chunin, like always. He took a bit of time to observe the foreigner. He was dressing a long, dark blue… Raincoat, and under it a black t-shirt and a black pair of pants, then more black articles of clothing: a pair of sneakers. Ninja didn't usually wore those, because they got in the way in some movements. The sneakers seemed to be very worn out, along with the raincoat. He probably walked a lot. His looks… He had short brown. Not too short, but still short, and spiky. His skin was of a dark pink, signalling that he had got a tan. Another sign that he was walking from a lot of time. He was… Like 5'9'' of height. He couldn't see his eyes, because they were covered with sun-glasses. While he was keeping a hand on his hip, the other one was carrying a bag behind his shoulders. He looked around 16-17 years old.
"I'm a traveller. I just want to stay for a bit of time." The stranger said, his tone of voice a bit louder than before.
"A civilian? No ninja skills?" Replied the guard. He had to make sure this man wasn't a treat to Konoha.
"Nope. None. I don't know any ninja thing. I'm a normal civilian. Do I have to get out my ID or something?"
"…" The chunin 'scanned' the stranger. He could feel a very little amount of chakra coming out from his body. So, or he was so good to conceal it at that point, or he really was a civilian. But since a ninja of that level would have snuck into Konoha unnoticed without the need to pass through the main gate, he had to be a civilian. He made a sign to his colleague inside, who started to open the gate. Then, he returned his gaze to the stranger. "You can come in. Have a nice stay."
"Thank you. I wish you a good day and lots of women."
While the stranger walked in, he couldn't help but to be a little moved by that strange salute. He shrugged it off and just continued his watch.
End music
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Even if you're not a ninja, you can notice strange or particular people. Like, you can notice Tsunade, for obvious reasons. You can notice Rock Lee and Gai Maito, always for obvious reasons. And then, you can notice people like the new stranger too. The guy was still a teen, but he was dressed like one who travels a lot. He had like… A look of maturity. He was sorta cute as well, and those sunglasses gave him just the right hint of coolness. So, a strange mix, indeed. He suddenly stopped, and slowly, he lowered his head… To look at his stomach?
"… Three… Two… One…" He said out loud, with a normal tone of voice.
And then… An enormous growl let himself be heard in Konoha. And the growl came from his stomach. A lot of people sweatdropped.
"Yes, seems like it… Now, where to eat?" He said to no one in particular, and he began searching for a place where to eat something edible.
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And so, once again, Naruto Uzumaki was sad. Why? Because, he was about to ask Sakura out once again. The two began to get along a lot better than before, from the time he got back, but then, he started to think, for the first time in his life, about the outcome of the thing. Even if she punched him lesser, maybe she only thought of him as a 'missed sibling'. That would have been a possibility. So, for the first time, he was in doubt if he should or should not ask her out, for the first time in years… But he just couldn't get his mind set. So, he just sighed and eat. Of course, this didn't go unnoticed by old man Ichiraku. After all, he was his best costumer.
"What's wrong, Naruto? You're not your usual cheerful self…" Said old man Ichiraku, laughing.
"It's nothing, old man. Just… Girls problems." Replied Naruto, a sad smile on his face.
"Ahhh… Then, I'm really not the right guy to give you advice. Too bad that Ayame-chan is sick, today. She could have given you advice…"
"Hey. Is it open?"
"Uh? Oh, yes. Come in." Old man Ichiraku replied without a second thought. A customer was always welcome.
Naruto turned his head, and he noticed the new customer… Who looked very, very unfamiliar to him. Actually, he never saw him before. He observed him, like hypnotized by his curious attire. The guy seemed around his age. He ordered a bowl of miso ramen, and then took off his sunglasses. He had green eyes. With the shades on, the guy looked kind of cool. Without them, still cool. Naruto smirked to himself and returned to his bowl. How he wished to have a bit of that coolness as well.
The stranger, in the meanwhile, started to observe the blonde few seconds after he returned his attention to his own bowl. He was a ninja. He could say that by his forehead protector. Blonde… There were very few blonde males, those days. A rarity. But what got his attention was the enormous pile of empty bowls. He just couldn't help but make a comment.
"You sure eat a lot… Where do you put all of that?" Said the stranger, nonchalantly. Naruto turned towards him, and snorted, laughing.
"Eh… I suppose it has something to do with my… What was the word? Damn baa-chan and her medical terms…" Naruto said, looking up in the sky like searching for an answer. "Metha… Matha…"
"Uhm… Martabolysm or something like that?" Replied the stranger. Ichiraku sweatdropped.
"Ehm… Maybe you mean metabolism."
"Ah! That's the word!" Said Naruto, punching his right palm with the other hand. The stranger just nodded at him using the chopsticks.
"Wise men make good ramen. That's what they say." Added the stranger smiling, before eating another bit of noodles.
"Really? That's the first time I hear that phrase…" Naruto inarched an eyebrow. He was probably the best expert about ramen, but that phrase was unknown to him.
"Would be strange if you did. I just made it up."
"Hmph… Ahahahah… You're a nice guy!"
"So say the ladies… And my friends. By the way, welcome to the club."
"Ahahah! My name is Uzumaki Naruto!" Naruto stretched his hand towards his new acquaintance, who stretched his right hand as well and shook it with strength.
"Meinos Kaen." He replied, and then he broke the shake. "Let me finish the ramen before it gets cold. It would be a waist."
"Ehm… A waste, maybe?" Said Ichiraku. Strange attitude, the stranger.
"Yep. That."
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After finishing his meal, Meinos had to wait for Naruto to finish HIS meal. And that meant waiting for him to finish other ten bowls of ramen. And what a long time, he had to wait… Five minutes. After that, the two began to talk again.
"So, you're a ninja from Konoha?" He asked, while he tried to count all the bowls that Naruto had devoured.
"Yep! And future Hokage! You can bet on it!" Said Naruto punching the air, like usual. Meinos just smiled. Quite cheerful.
"Eheheh… Quite a goal. By the way, how come just a few moments ago you were so gloomy?"
"…" Naruto put on a sad smile. "A girl…"
"Uhm… Understood. Well, since I will be staying here for a bit, I think I could help you a bit with that…"
"Uh? You could?" Naruto immediately raised his head. How could a boy of his same age help him with his love problems?
"Let's say that I know a couple of things. By the way, do you know a place where I could stay, in the meanwhile?" Meinos got back on his feet, grabbing his sack. He obviously referred to an apartment to rent or an hotel or something, but Naruto had always been a person that says the first thing that comes in his mind.
"Of course! You can stay at my apartment, for the time being!" Declared the blonde, punching his chest with his right hand. Meinos inarched an eyebrow at that.
"Uhm… Thanks for the offer… But I sleep on the couch."
"Uh? What do you mean?"
"I don't sleep with other men. And if you want to try the 'other side of the river', don't count on me."
"AH! NO! WHAT ARE YOU SAYING!" Shouted Naruto, in defence. Even if he was desperately in need of help, that didn't mean that he was about to become gay. Meinos cringed. Really loud, the boy.
"Ok… First advice. Try not to be so loud. Most of the girls hate it. Ok? Follow the tone of voice of the person you're talking to. Got it memorized?"
"Ah… Yes. Thanks!"
"Ok, said that…" Meinos put his sunglasses back on, and grabbed his sack, swinging it over his left shoulder. "I'd need a part time job as well… I need to make some money…"
"Well, you could come and work here." The voice came from old man Ichiraku. He had just offered Meinos a working place. Meinos just shrugged his shoulders and replied…
"Taken. But how come you offered me the place?"
"You'll be a nice addition to my stand. The people come here not just for the ramen, but for the people who work here too. My wiseness, the beauty of Ayame… And you look a strange, exotic mix, like a whole new flavour of ramen."
"… If you're trying to get me to come to your kitchen, then cut me to bits and use me as a seasoning for ramen, I warn you: I bite, spit and lick hands." Said the boy stoic as a wall of brics. Naruto and Ichiraku both fell to the ground, the old man quickly getting back on his feet.
"Ahahahah! Nothing like that! Then, your first turn is on Monday! Pass a good week-end and try to help Naruto out, ok?"
"I'll do what I can."
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"Wow. So you live on your own? Great!" This was the first time that Meinos was happy for something, Naruto noticed. How come?
"Why… Great?"
"Well, if I was to live with you and your family, it would have be a problem for certain things. But it seems that you've already cut the umbilical cord, hn?"
"Eh… A bit too early, maybe…" Naruto said, staring at the ground. "I've never known my family."
"…" Now, Meinos felt an ass. "Note to self. Never make comments on someone's family before making sure about their whereabouts."
"Don't worry, it's nothing. What about you? You have a family, right?"
"… Yes and no. Don't want to talk about it. Let's not mention our families anymore, okay?"
"Oooook. Well, you can put the clothes in my same cupboard. I have a lot of space."
"Ok, but later. Now, let's talk about your problems, now." Meinos sat on the couch, or better, he let himself fall on it. "Ahhh… Nice and comfy. Hey, take a chair. It's your house, right?"
"Ehm… Right." Naruto took a chair and sat in front of Meinos, looking at him in the eyes. "So… Well, there is this girl…"
"No, no, no. From the start."
"Uh? What do you mean?" Naruto blinked.
"I don't need to know about your actual sentimental mess, for now. I have to know about your experience with girls."
"E… Experience?" Now Naruto was reeeeeeally confused. What the?
"I mean, how many girls have you been with, in your life? How many time did you get laid, if you did?"
"EH?!"
"… Don't tell me that you're one of those guys with a life-long crush and that you have never even kissed, because of that…"
"More or less…"
"More or less? So, you kissed at least once?"
"Ehm… Yes… Even if by accident…"
"… Who?"
"… A guy I hated…"
"…" Meinos rolled his eyes. I think it will be more difficult than what I thought… "Ok. Well, I can guess that it's her the girl you're so desperate about. But you do know other girls, right? I mean, other options if your heart gets definitely crushed, that it's what you fear the most?"
"Well… Yes, a few, apart Sakura-chan…" Naruto began to think. "There's Ino, her best friend… Hinata, even if she's weird… Then TenTen, and Temari, even if she lives in Sunagakure…"
"Just those ones?"
"Yes. Apart that, I know just a couple of women."
"I assume you're not into older women. Your loss…"
"EH?!"
"Now, silence. I need to think…" Uhm… I'll first have to check these girls and their behaviour around Naruto, but I think I have already a plan in mind…
"Ah! Look at the time! I have a meeting with my team in ten minutes!" Naruto said, and began to put his shoes back on in a hurry."
"… Can I tag along? Just to not get bored…" Replied Meinos, getting down from the couch.
"Of course! So, I can show you Sakura-chan."
"Ah, Naruto. One thing."
"Yes?"
"Whatever I do, even if it looks extremely strange to you, still trust me, ok?"
"Uh? Ok…" This phrase sounds strange as well…
"Good. Now, let's go."
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"Naruto! You're late!"
"Sorry, Sakura-chan!"
While they approached the place, Meinos kept on thinking about his plan. Then, he heard a voice scolding Naruto for being late. He looked forward. On the bridge in front of them were standing a strange guy holding the last episode of Icha Icha in front of his face, and a girl. Probably Sakura, if one was to add the name to the colour of her hair. The girl was of an average height, for her age. Nice legs, and even more nice butt, from what he could tell. Average bust, and cute face. The forehead was maybe a bit larger than the normal, but it's one of the very few points one couldn't look at while making out, so it was okay.
"It's not like you to be late, by the way… How come?" Continued Sakura, crossing her arms in front of her chest, while the strange reading guy flipped a page and giggled a bit.
"I'm sorry. It's just that… I had to settle in my new friend, here. Sakura, this is Meinos. Meinos, Sakura. And that is Kakashi-sensei."
"Uh?" The girl blinked, finally noticing the stranger, who, in return, just stared impassive. She approached him, and smiling she stretched out her hand. "Hi. My name is Sakura Haruno. Nice to meet you."
"Like the strongest of the winds, and the highest of the mountains…"
"Uh?"
"Eh?" Now, Naruto was confused yet one more time. What the hell was Meinos saying? And in the meanwhile, he had gently grabbed Sakura's stretched hand, and he feigned a kiss on the back of her palm.
"Strong and lasting, but it still keeps its beauty. The Sakura."
"That… That poem…" Sakura… Blushed?! Sakura was actually blushing! Naruto never ever saw that happening. Even Kakashi was amused, but he didn't actually show it, from behind his book.
"Just a composition of mine. It's the first thing that came up in my mind…"
"…" Wow… Who is this guy?
"When I saw your bubble-gum like hair."
"!"
"!"
Naruto looked at him like shocked, and Kakashi too did the same, still covered by his book. Last time someone said that Sakura's hair were like bubble-gum, it did not end well…
"… WHAT DID YOU SAY?!" Said Sakura, now her inner self.
"Oh. I'm sorry if I enraged you. It's just that I usually make comparisons using the things I like…" Replied Meinos, still calm as ever.
"Uh?" Sakura seemed to calm down at that.
"And I find bubble-gum… Absolutely lovely." And said that, Meinos kissed her hand, softly and slowly.
"…" Then, Sakura paralyzed. She couldn't move anymore. Her blush too didn't want to go away. Meinos released her hand and walked past her, but the girl kept on staring the air in front of herself. Naruto… Was shocked to say the least. No one, not even Sasuke had ever made Sakura go... Go… Go like that. Kakashi whistled from behind his mask. The teen sure had style.
"… Sakura, are you still there?" Asked Kakashi. Sakura muttered an almost imperceptible yes, sign that at least one of her personalities was still partially in that same world, even if her body didn't show that. "Good. I wanted to tell you that from the next Monday we'll have to help for the decorations for Christmas."
"Christmas? But Kakashi-sensei, it's just the 30th of November."
"Tell that to the Hokage, Naruto. It seems that she likes decorations to be made early. Don't ask me why. So, keep that in mind. You're dismissed." With that, Kakashi teleported away, making a mental note to keep an eye on this Meinos.
In the meanwhile, Naruto tried to wake Sakura up, waving a hand in front of her face. But nothing. No reaction. Meinos then placed his right hand on Naruto's right shoulder.
"It's no use. She will be like this for five minutes. Should we go?"
"Well… I suppose…" Replied Naruto, scratching his nose. What a strange situation.
"If you want to meet me again, I'm staying at Naruto's home. See ya, cherry."
"… Bye…" Weakly replied Sakura, still lost in lala-land. Naruto and Meinos walked away.
Naruto had a lot of thoughts on his mind. Where did Meinos learn that. How did he do that. And… Most importantly…
"Sorry, Meinos… I have a question." Said Naruto, a hint of doubt in his voice.
"Shoot."
"Back there… You probably made Sakura fall… For you. How is this going to help me?"
"I knew that you would say that… Don't worry, it's all in my plan."
"Are you sure that you don't like Sakura-chan as well?" Said Naruto, with a hint of a warning tone in his voice. Meinos just chuckled.
"Naaah, don't worry. One thing that you'll learn about myself is this. For me, the three most important things in life are, in order from the top: friends, girls, freedom."
"Uhm…" Naruto seemed to think about it for a while. He decided that he could trust Meinos. "Ok. I trust you."
"I asked you to do so, remember?"
"Yes, but still…"
"N-Naruto-kun…"
"Uh? Oh, Hinata."
"…" Meinos turned around. Second target. Now, wasn't this girl extremely kawaii. Cute face. Long, black hair. A cup D. Veeeeeeery good. White, porcelain-like skin… And white eyes? He needed to ask Naruto about that later. He observed her behaviour.
"It's good to see you. Were you searching for me?"
"Ehm… A-Actually…"
"…" An incredible big blush. She seems about to faint. She stutters. She isn't looking at him in the eyes. She's fidgeting to get the nervousness away. Bingo. Call the cops. We have a crush right here.
"Ehm… I w-wanted to ask you… W-W-Would…"
"Nee-san. Are you here?"
"! Ha-Hanabi-chan…"
"…" Poor girl. She was almost to ask him out and now she lost all her courage. Who interfered?
Meinos turned his head. It was arriving… What seemed like a smaller version of Hinata, with some differences. The girl in question had shorter hair, and seemed around 14. And while the sister probably had a B-cup, at her age, he doubted the mini-clone had even the need for a bra. Also, she was more slender and athletic. One thing that sure was developing fast, in her, were her legs. Outstanding, for a 14 years old. He couldn't see her butt, though.
"Ah. I'm sorry. Am I interrupting something?" Said the clone, named Hanabi.
"N-no… It's nothing… Father wants me home?"
"Yes. Hmm?" Hanabi's eyes turned towards Meinos. The girl was probably used at looking out for new faces. Naruto noticed the thing, and realized that he still hadn't introduced Meinos to Hinata and Hanabi.
"Ah, yes. Sorry! Hinata, Hanabi-chan…"
"Nobody gave you the permission to call me that." Arrogantly exclaimed Hanabi. Naruto just pouted.
"Anyway, this is Meinos. My new roomie, you could say."
"Hi. I'm staying with Naruto, at the moment."
"… Hello."
"H-Hi…"
"Nee-san, we should go. Meinos-san… Naruto-san."
"Y-Yes. See you later… Naruto-kun."
And with that, the two girls were out of sight. Meinos observed them walking away, before chuckling and saying…
"You didn't tell me you had such a cute couple of fan-girls…"
"… Eh?" Naruto was now even more confused. What the hell was Meinos talking about, now?
"… Don't tell me you have never noticed. Well, I can understand Hanabi, there, but… Hinata, is so obvious…"
"What is obvious?"
"… Ok. I bet that Hinata faints a lot… And only around you…"
"Eh? Yes…"
"So?"
"…" Naruto took three seconds to take that in. Then, he turned 'Scream-of-munch' mode. "HINATA LIKES ME?!"
"You're probably the only one who doesn't know it, you know. And her sister… I don't think it's love, but… Maybe a crush."
"Ha-Ha-Hanabi? BUT I TALKED TO HER LIKE… THREE TIMES! AND YOU SEE HOW ARROGANT SHE IS WITH ME!" Screamed Naruto, trying to defend himself by non-existent accusations.
"Yes, but if she really wanted to keep a distance from you, other than making you call her Hanabi-sama or something like that, at the same time, she would call you Uzumaki. But she calls you Naruto-san. That's the weak point in her cover." Meinos kept on walking, while Naruto reflected.
Yes, his reasoning made sense… No, he didn't! What could have he done, to make Hanabi have a crush on HIM, out of all people?
"I mean… What would she find in me? I'm not… Cool, or anything…"
"Then, it's not something that concerns your looks, but something that you've done. Could you have done anything to impress her?"
"Uhm… I don't think so…" Said Naruto, crossing his arms. Meinos sighed.
"Ok, let's reason on this. What do you know about her?"
"Well… That she's Hinata's younger sister, and that she likes training and becoming strong. That's all."
"Then, she probably likes strong people. Now, when could you have shown her your strength? I'm not a ninja, so don't ask me…"
"Uhm…" Naruto reflected. He never fought in front of Hanabi, so… No. One moment. Once, he did. His first Chunin selection exam. When he beat the crap out of Neji. Yes, Hanabi was certainly there, in the audience, since her father was there as well. Yes… "Well… I beat the crap out of her cousin, the strongest youngster of her clan or something like that…"
"Bingo. This 'cousin'" Said Meinos bending the middle and index fingers of both hands, positioning them at the sides of his face "Was probably the strongest person she knew, from all the people around her age. So, when you beat him, demonstrating all your mightiness and masculinity, she fell for you. Crush."
"Wow… You sure know a lot about this stuff…"
"… I wish I didn't…" Meinos said this last phrase as a whisper, and Naruto almost didn't even notice that he talked. But he just thought he was sighing or something, so, he didn't bother asking him to repeat it at high volume.
"So… I met Sakura, and Hinata. That leaves TenTen and Ino, right? Temari is at the sand, so…"
"GIVE IT BACK, YOU BASTARD!"
"???"
"???"
Meinos and Naruto turned around… And just thanks to Naruto's reflexes, the two managed to dodge the wrath that was approaching them. Naruto grabbed Meinos and jumped high in the air, attaching himself to the roof with chakra. What they saw was a cat, holding something in his mouth, and then an avalanche of sand on his tail. On top of the sand, a certain red-headed Kazekage. And Naruto had never seen him with that look on his face since he first faced him.
"… Gaara?"
"I'LL KILL YOU, YOUR FAMILY, YOUR PETS… Hello, Naruto. AND EVEN YOUR COLLEAGUES! GET BACK HERE!"
"… A friend of yours?"
"Yep."
Naruto got back on the ground when Gaara was at safe distance. Meinos dusted himself off.
Are all ninjas particular in a way?
"What the hell was going on with Ga… Off!"
"Off!"
Meinos managed to dodge just in time the new incoming girl, who ended up knocking into Naruto. While the two bickered, Meinos took time to check the new arrive. Blonde hair tied in four pigtails. Face that expressed determination and unwillingness to be tamed or to be submissive, making her the wild girl. A huge fan on her back. Good for getting rid of perverts, for sure. Green eyes, of a darker shade than his ones. And… Even if she was wearing a kimono, Meinos could notice her C85-like. Wow-wow-wow.
"Hey! Watch out when you run, Temari! And by the way was what up with Gaara?!"
"It's your fault for standing in the middle of the street! And with Gaara… That cat stole his teddy."
"… Gaara has a teddy?" Said Naruto out of the blue, sweatdropping. Temari just sighed and nodded. Then, she noticed the stranger behind Naruto.
"Hi, there… Didn't notice you." Said Temari, annoyed.
"I could say that. Too busy to 'carefully' observe the path where you're running…" Anyone could have guessed the sarcasm.
"… What did you say?" Temari narrowed her eyes at Meinos. Naruto was fearing for his life. Not only Temari was a ninja and his friend not, but Temari was a Jonin! He could get hurt really bad.
"You heard me. Next time watch where are you going, instead of blaming the person you bump into."
"Want me to crush your head, punk?" Temari looked at Meinos in the eyes, fire burning into them. The boy returned a cold stare, instead.
"Bite me." Meinos stared at her, while Temari just glared. She opened her mouth to say something. Or better, she tried to, a lot of times. Then… She smirked.
"Nice… Really nice. You're maybe the first guy who resists my glare. You know what? I like you."
"Hmph. Thanks for the compliment. But I suggest you to not glare that much."
"Hn? Why is that?" Said Temari, raising an eyebrow.
"Because a smile softens your features and makes you even more pretty."
And then, Temari… Blushed. How come almost all the girls around Meinos did that, Naruto thought, already knowing the answer. Because he knew how to treat girls. Completely different from himself… Maybe he should try some smooth talking as well.
"Well, we should take our leave. I'm staying at Naruto's apartment, by the way. Bye."
"Bye…" Temari saluted, the pink blush still on her face.
Meinos walked away, immediately followed by Naruto, who gave a last glance towards Temari, before turning around, looking in front of him.
"So… What now? We search for Ino and TenTen?"
"That's the plan. What do you know about Ino, for a start?"
"Well… She's a strong Kunoichi, and Sakura's best friend. She likes flowers and sure knows a lot about them. Also, she likes shopping a lot."
"Uhm… You know, you're really observant. That's a good think, around women."
"Eh… Let's say that I'm used to it." Naruto grinned, scratching the back of his head. Meinos just smiled.
"Very good. Ino likes shopping, hn? Well, then I think we'll find her while we're doing another thing. How much money do you posses?"
"Uh? Well, a lot, I should say. Why?"
"Because we are going to the mall, my friend."
"The mall?"
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Naruto had never been to the mall. He owned very few clothes, so the idea of shopping never crossed his mind. Also, he always thought that it was something that only females did. So, for him, it was kind of awkward to be in a clothes' shop.
"Ok… Now, to find something for yourself…" Meinos started looking around. Naruto was confused.
"? What do you mean? What's wrong with my clothing?"
"… Ok, time for some talking about my plan. If it succeeds, you'll go out on dates, Naruto. And each girl is different and has different tastes, as in clothing, as in places, as in sexual habits, etc…"
Naruto blushed at the mentioning of the last part. Sexual habits… Damn ero-sennin and his books. He just couldn't resist to find out what was so alluring to adults in them. A small bit of blood started to flow out of his nose, which he immediately cover up.
Meinos just smirked and shook his head. Such an innocent and untainted guy… "It's life, Naruto. Just life. Soon or later you'll get laid too."
"Ooook…" Naruto observed Meinos going trough the vast choice of clothes like he was born in that kind of environment… And maybe it was like this. Of him, Naruto knew just that he wasn't a ninja. Apart that… Nothing else. "Hey, Meinos. I was thinking…"
"What?" The boy stopped and turned to him.
"I was thinking that, instead of just buying the clothes for me, you could tell me about me. So, next time, I can do this alone."
"Uhm… I didn't think about that. Good thought. Listen and memorize. There are just few rules, while buying clothes. The first one, affinity. Like, you can't wear a tuxedo over a pair of sneakers. Yes, there are mixes that look good, but never experiment. You're not sure of the outcome and you could just make a fool out of yourself."
"Oook." That's why that time I tried to dress that way, Sasuke almost ended in the hospital because of the laughter…
"Now, second rule, probably the most important. The trick is contrast." Said Meinos, sticking out two fingers… The pink and the index one. Naruto sweatdropped. The index and the middle were maybe too normal?
"Contrast?"
"Yes, contrast. The clothes must be the opposite of the person. For example… How does this girl Ino looks like?"
"Well… She has… Silky, long, blonde hair… Azure eyes… Pale pink skin. She's very tall, and has a slender figure, and I don't know her measures, sorry… A really cute girl, I could say."
"Uhm… Yes, indeed, from what I can tell. Now… She probably wears just dark colours, or maybe purple, right?"
"Uh? Indeed. How did you know?"
"Now I'll explain. Now, just imagine her wearing her usual ninja outfit, only, all yellow…"
"All yellow?"
Naruto began to imagine, closing his eyes and crossing his arms. He pictured Ino. Her usual frame, and clothes. Then… He replaced the purple with the yellow.
"…"
Naruto started sweating. It was like it was getting hotter, in his imagination. Then… The light. The blinding light. The horror…
"AAAAAAAAARGH! IT'S WORSE THAN FUZZY EYEBROWS' SPARKLING TINGHY!" Naruto screamed and landed on his back, covering his eyes in reflex.
"SHHHHHH! What did I say to you about being loud?!"
"Wow… I can't believe I would see this day…"
"?"
"?"
Meinos turned around and Naruto removed one finger from his eyes. Talk of the devil… There stood Ino Yamanaka. Naruto's description matched in everything, it seemed. Only that Naruto didn't say one thing… She was not cute. She was hot. No bonus or malus in anything. Her body was just perfect.
"It seems that someone finally got some sense of fashion into Naruto's thick skull…"
"Uhm… Let me guess. You're Ino, right?"
"Yes. Nice intuitions, hn? What about you, awesome?" Said Ino. Naruto sighed. She had always been the flirtarious type. Meinos just smirked.
"The name's Meinos. And for the intuition, it's thanks to Naruto's description. Very accurate. He just missed one detail."
"Oh, really? Which one?" Said Ino, leaning forward a bit. Meinos did the same, smirking.
"The one where he says that you're hella sexy."
Ino blushed, and got back on a normal standing position.
"Well… Thanks, I suppose." The blush still there, Ino turned her head around, smiling.
"Of nothing. Now, we should be going. I'm staying with Naruto, by the way."
"O-Ok… See you around, then…"
Meinos walked away. Naruto got back on his feet. That left TenTen only. Was Meinos really going to help him? He was starting to doubt that…
"Well, bye Ino. It was nice seeing you…"
"Ah! By the way, Naruto…"
"?" Naruto turned around, stopping on his tracks. Ino was smiling with her arms crossed behind her back.
"Thanks for the compliments. I appreciated them. You should do that more often, you know." Said that, Ino walked away, leaving a dumbfounded Naruto standing in the middle of the clothes' shop.
Suddenly, he felt a punch connecting with his shoulder. A light one, but still a punch. His newest friend, with a smirk on his face.
"I think you just earned about 10 points with that girl, you know."
"R-Really?"
"Yep. Too bad that you said that just because you were describing her to me, otherwise you would have gained 20 points. Now, for your clothes…"
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In the end, Naruto and Meinos walked out of the shop with three bags of clothes. Two full of clothes for Naruto, and the other one for Meinos. He had some savings as well, it seemed.
"I don't know… I always just wore my ninja clothing…"
"That's the problem. Ninja clothing is for missions and fighting, not for dates…"
"A date? And who could Naruto be dating?"
If what happened that day taught Naruto something, and it did, he was as sure as that Chuck Norris can kick Orochimaru's ass anytime that the voice, a feminine one, belonged to no one else but TenTen. There she was. Meinos examined her as well. Chocolate brown hair. Eyes of the same colour. A quite athletic body, but not bulky or anything.
"You sure are growing up, aren't you?"
"Hi, TenTen. Still around at this time?"
"I had some errands to do. Oh. And who is your new friend?"
"Ah. This is Meinos. He's a civilian. He has just arrived."
"Yo." Meinos replied raising his right hand, the one not carrying a bag. "I'm currently tutoring Naruto."
"Tutoring? About what?" Asked TenTen, now more curious than ever.
"Eh?!" Naruto quickly turned his head around, startled. What the hell… He asked for his help, but he sure as hell wasn't going to make everyone know about it.
"About dating, of course. Naruto is a good guy, but… Let's say… That he's still rough, when he comes to these things. So, after making him a new wardrobe, we were thinking about the next step. Real dates."
"Wow. Seems interesting… So, Naruto-ku---n is going to grow up?" Saying that, TenTen rubbed her right hand trough Naruto's hair, hard. Naruto winced.
"I think that you keep on rubbing like that, you'll take off two centimetres… So much for the growth spurt…" Naruto feigned irritation, but his grin betrayed his intentions.
"Yeah, yeah… You'll just grow even more, in the next years, and surpass everyone, so you can't blame me for trying to steal some height from you…"
"Rrrrrright…"
"Well, by the way… TenTen-san, would you like giving us a hand?"
"Hm? With what?" TenTen released Naruto, and stared at Meinos, in questioning way.
"I would like to have a female opinion about the 'new Naruto'. What would you say? And maybe a hand with his hair. I'm not that good at it…"
"EH?!" Naruto went wide-eyed after hearing the last sentence.
"Why not! But you offer me dinner, in exchange!"
"EH?!"
"Ok. Naruto's charge, of course."
"HEY! DO I GET A SAY IN THIS MATTER?!"
"Of course not! Let's go!" Said TenTen smiling. Naruto just let his arms and head go limp in defeat. Meinos smiled. While TenTen walked ahead of them, Naruto approached Meinos, and he managed to shout while whispering.
"ARE YOU CRAZY OR WHAT? THIS WAS THE LAST ONE, NOW TELL ME WHAT THE HELL HAVE YOU GOT IN MIND!"
"Well… I can't tell you entirely. It would ruing the surprise. Let's say that… I made a challenge for you with levels. And each level represents a girl."
"Eh?"
"For now… Let's say that she's level three. Now, let's go. I'll assure that she won't forget so early the new you."
"… If you say so…"
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Shocked. That was what the girl who had name TenTen was like now. Shocked. And, in her life, very few things had shocked her. And even if she had seen what had shocked her more than fifteen minutes ago, she still was shocked and blushing lightly. Who had ever guessed that clothing made that much of a difference in a male? She was so occupied in her thoughts that she didn't notice the telephone pole into she bumped into soon after.
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"… Wow… I never expected her to react like that…"
This was the first coherent sentence that Naruto managed to formulate, while he made dinner. Nothing better than a good bowl of ramen to make your thoughts clear once more. He would have never guessed that TenTen's reaction would be so… So…
"Maybe I should have let your chest covered… It was too much, I guess. She's not the naughty girl, that's for sure." Meinos was just sitting on the couch watching some TV, while Naruto cooked.
"I mean… I would have never guessed that clothing made that much difference…"
"Oh, it does. Many times the wrong clothes restrain your… True potential. Ah. By the way, you're forbidden of using those clothes before I say otherwise."
"What?! Why?!"
"That way, it will be a surprise for everyone. TenTen will spread the voice, and the girls will get more and more curious. The surprise will be doubled." Meinos was trying to find some action movie, but there were just romance and stupid talk-shows. "What a crappy bunch of channels…"
"Uhm… Hey, are there any risks in your plan?"
"Uhm… I wouldn't call them risks, but… Yes. For example…" Just then, someone knocked on Naruto's door. "Who could it be? Were you waiting for someone?"
"Not really…" More knocking, but Naruto was busy with the ramen. "Could you go and open? I can't lose sight of the baby, here…"
"Okie dokie." Meinos got up and opened the door. And what a strange sight it was. After all, a red-head with no eyebrows wearing eyeliner and a pair of bras as a hat carrying a gourde on his back, with enormous hands of sand carrying his luggage was sure an unusual sight.
"…"
"…"
"… Yo."
"Is Naruto home?"
"He's currently cooking. Come in. I suppose that that luggage means we'll have an extra rommie." Meinos made space for Gaara to walk in, followed by his sand. Konoha sure is a strange place… "Hey, Naruto. There's the sandman from today."
"Sandman? Gaara! What a surprise."
"Naruto."
"By the way, you caught him? I mean, the cat who stole your teddy…" The blonde put the three bowls of ramen on the table. Yep, three. Because two were going to be eaten by him, but since Gaara was there, why not offer. Then, he noticed the luggage. "And what's with the luggage?" Then… He noticed his weird hat. "And… What about the… Bra?"
"That cat has been a great adversary. But in the end, I resulted victorious. The luggage and the bra are related."
"… How?"
"While I was trying to catch it, I ended up covered in underwear while walking over a roof. Then I caught him and I landed covered in underwear in the changing room of sauna of the hotel's where I'm currently staying... Or better, where I was staying. I got kicked out and Temari decided to not follow me in my exile."
"…"
"…"
"…"
"… Ok. You can stay. The more the merrier, they say." Naruto sighed, than remembered that he still hadn't introduced Meinos to Gaara and the opposite. "By the way, Gaara, this is Meinos. He's staying with me from… This morning, actually. And Meinos, this is Gaara, the Kazekage of Sunagakure."
"Wow. You're the guy with the most important work I've ever talked to."
"Hello. No, let's establish some rules. Don't touch my teddy and don't wake me up."
"Ok, my rules as well. Don't touch my ramen!"
"My rules. Don't sleep in my same bed/futon/couch and we'll be okay."
"Deal."
"Deal."
"Deal."
"Ok. Then…" Meinos sat at the table. "Starting from tomorrow, we'll begin our operation. Well call it 'Let's take Naruto out'."
"… Didn't you just say that you didn't like guys?" Commented Gaara. Naruto was backing away a little. Meinos just glared, his left eye twitching.
"I won't be the one taking him out, don't worry. It will be someone with loooooot more curves… Like that blonde, what was the name? Ah, yes. Temari. But that much later on…"
"…"
Gaara raised his hand. And suddenly, Meinos found himself enveloped in sand. He looked around his body.
"Comfy…"
"What did you say about my sister?"
"… Ops."
"Ehm… Gaara… Meinos is a civilian, you know…"
"So what? They die the same as ninjas…"
"… What about Naruto tells everyone about your teddy addiction?"
"…" The sand backed off. "You win. This time alone."
"Uhm… Not even a single grain… I suppose you can control that sand reeeeeally good…"
"…" Now, not only I'm worried about this plan… But about our lives as roomies, as well…
Continue…
In the next chapter…
Meinos' plan is finally revealed. How many girls will agree to it? And in the meanwhile, a certain girl catch the eyes of the foreigner… Stay tuned!